Gaara of the Sand. My name probably passed through many minds, and now even more since I'm the kazekage. I believed that becoming the kazekage would enable me to gain the trust of the villagers and the trust of others. Then everyone wouldn't see me as a monster and treat me equally. But now I see that that was just a dream. I was still seen as a monster to many. Sure, the villagers treated me great because I'm the kazekage, but I still see the small glint of fear in their eyes when they look at me. I would never do anything to harm these people. In fact, I'd risk my life to protect those I love, but no one seems to understand that.
I stared out towards the setting sun as I stood over the edge of the cliff near the entrance of the village. My emerald eyes saw only a sea of sand, and the blue sky was being painted by a tint of orange and pink as the sun was dipping down and almost disappearing. These thoughts swirled around my mind as I stared forward, arms crossed and eyes narrowing. I slowly brought up my sand and started swirling together a sand body. The sand body of a girl I'd met earlier.
She was beautiful. Her emerald eyes almost matched mine, except hers were brighter and more lively, like her small smile. Her skin was pale and her purple hair flowed, looking silkier than anything, and rested on her small shoulders. She had a nice yet petite figure, and her voice was smooth yet loud. I had seen her while walking around the village. I bumped into her, causing her to drop some flowers she was holding, but I gladly helped her pick them up. She was very grateful, giving me a warm smile and starting a conversation. When I saw her eyes, I was gladly surprised to see nothing but happiness in them. No fear at all.
The sand body looked exactly like her, smile and all, except dull in comparison to the real thing.
"Hey Gaara, what're you doing?" Kankuro asked, coming up from behind me. He looked at the sand copy, then at me, then smiled widely.
"So who's this girl?" he asked eagerly, nudging me on the side with his elbow. I rolled my eyes.
"No one."
"You don't just make your sand resemble no one. So who is this girl?" Kankuro said. Boy was he persistent.
"Her name, I don't know it…," I trailed off in a whisper. Her name should be perfection.
"You don't know her name? Then how will you date her? Let's go find her!" Kankuro exclaimed, grabbing my wrist and pushing me forward.
"No, Kankuro, this is unnecessary-"
"It is so necessary! We're going to find that girl, and you're going to make her fall in love with you!" Kankuro announced, and I quickly pulled my sand with me, the sand body becoming no more. But that didn't sadden me, because if this worked how Kankuro wanted it to, I would see her soon.
~x~
With every appearance by you blinding my eyes
I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do
You're an angel disguised...
Kankuro dragged me around the village, dodging every villager that was coming our way. Or, as it seems now, every villager we were almost crashing straight into. We passed by many houses, many people, many girls, but none were the one I met earlier. I wanted to see her, talk to her, but at the same time, my stomach felt weird. I was anxious, I guess. These feelings… they're… strange.
Kankuro came to an abrupt stop, causing me to stumble forward. He pulled me back behind him, hiding ourselves behind a house.
"There, is that her?" Kankuro asked, peering and pointing forward. And there she was. All I could see was her back, her slender back, her silky purple hair resting at her mid back. She was planting those flowers from earlier, caressing the flower petals and seeming at peace. I couldn't see her face, but already I knew how beautiful she looked.
"Yeah," was all I could mumble as I stared. Kankuro turned to me, clicking his tongue in disappointment.
"Look at you! You look like you can't breathe. Relax," he said reassuringly, straightening out my shirt and running a hand through my hair. "Just go up to her, ask for her name, and chill. And take that gourd off. It must be killing your back, and it don't look so hot." Kankuro pulled off my sand gourd, grunting and setting it on the floor next to me.
"Kankuro, I don't think I-"
"Go!" he said firmly. "And be cool. I know what the ladies like," he said with a smile and a wink, and pushed me forward. I stumbled forward in a few awkward steps, then looked from her to Kankuro nervously. Nervous? Me? I never knew myself like that. He gave me a thumbs-up and turned around to leave. I took in a deep breath and stepped behind her.
"Hello." She seemed to jump up a little when I spoke, but turned around and I instantly fell into the green of her eyes. She smiled lightly at me.
"Hi! Nice to see you again!" I smiled back at her.
"Hey." …Now what? Uh, well. If you want to know someone's name, you say yours first. "I'm Gaara."
"Of course I know you're name silly! You are the kazekage, who doesn't know your name?" She then giggled lightly. "Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself properly. My name is Luna."
"Nice to meet you." I looked forward to the flowers she had been planting. "Those flowers are beautiful."
"Oh, yeah huh? They're purple lilacs," she commented, smiling. I chuckled slightly at the irony of this. Purple lilacs symbolize the first feelings of love.
"What?" she asked, tilting her head slightly. I shook my head.
"Nothing… They simply match your hair," I said as a save.
"Oh. Yeah, that's why I picked them. And they're my favorite. Do you like flowers?"
"I'm hardly around them. The sand village isn't much of a place for flowers."
"Well that's not stopping me. These babies aren't going to die while I'm here," she said determinedly. I smiled.
"Well, I hope it goes well." And now what? Maybe I should ask to see her later… I should take her to Konoha one day and take her to Ino's flower shop. Yes…
"A friend of mine owns a flower shop. If you'd like to go, I'd be glad to escort you." She brightened up at that.
"A flower shop? Where?"
"Konoha."
"Oh wow! I'd love to go! How long does it take to get to Konoha?" she asked eagerly, clasping her hands happily.
"About three days," I replied. She rested a small finger on her chin and looked upward. It was now getting dark.
"Okay, let's go tomorrow!"
"T-Tomorrow?"
"Yeah! The faster, the better!"
"Oh. Well, okay," I said, blushing.
"It's a date!" she exclaimed, making me blush harder. "Let's leave early, okay?"
"Uhm, sure," I replied shakily.
"It's getting dark! I have to sleep early for tomorrow. Pick me up extra early! Night night!" she said happily, getting on her toes to kiss my cheek. After that, she skipped into her house, and I stood there in silence.
"Yeahhh! Go Gaara!" Kankuro shouted, pulling me away from the house. "A kiss on the cheek! My baby brother is growing up!" Kankuro chuckled. He looked at me and laughed a bit harder. "You're still red, even in the dark!"
"Shut up," I grumbled, crossing my arms and turning my head away from him as we walked.
"Whatever. Now, we've got to get you ready for your date with Lunie?"
"Luna," I corrected him. He grunted.
"Whatever. Now, let's go, slowpoke! And here's your gourd, it's fucking heavy!"
~x~
Throughout the night, I couldn't sleep. Well, scratch that, because I can never sleep. Insomnia's a bitch. But the night was longer than any other night. All I could do was stare at the moon, thinking of Luna. What irony.
That morning, I was about to leave when Kankuro and Temari stopped me.
"What is it?"
"Wait! I want to see my little brother leave to his first date," Kankuro teased, Temari making a kissy face at me. I furrowed my eyebrows at them.
"I'm just escorting her to and from Konoha."
"Yeah, you think that, little mister Romeo. Go on," Temari shooed me. I rolled my eyes at them before waving and walking off.
~x~
I'm trying real hard not to shake, I'm biting my tongue
But I'm feeling alive and with every breath that I take
I feel like I've won, You're my key to survival
After a minute of slow walking, ten of pacing quickly, and five of running forward, I came to Luna's house. I brought up a hand to knock on the door, but stopped my hand before knocking. I couldn't force my hand to go forward and knock gently. My anxious feeling stopped me, and I just couldn't… But I had to. Gaara, you have to bring up the courage and-
"Ow!" Luna squealed, running straight into my chest. I almost fell back, hugging around her waist as I regained my balance. The time around me seemed to stop flowing as I stared down at her, my eyes huge, and her eyes shut tight in surprise. She slowly blinked her bright eyes open and stared up at me, and I could see a small tint of pink on her cheeks. The same color was probably on my pale cheeks as well.
"Uh, I'm sorry!" she squealed, backing away from me. "I was just r-rushing."
"It's okay," I said, turning around. "Let's leave?"
"Oh yeah! I brought food for both of us, if you don't mind."
"Thank you," I said, and as we walked forward, I found that a peaceful silence settled upon us. The silence rested on us as we exited the sand village, and after walking through the sand for a minute, Luna began to lowly hum a song. She quietly hummed the tune, until she was singing in a whisper. We walked like that, with her soft voice in a melody while I waked next to her and listened to her whisper of a tune. Kankuro's voice echoed through my head.
"Yo Gaara. Perfect time to hold her hand!"
"Shut up, Kankuro!" I hissed back.
"Leave him alone, Kankuro. He's too young," Temari retorted.
I must be going crazy. I slowly used my sand to lift up her hand and bring it into mine. She immediately stopped whispering and blushed at me.
"I…," she trailed off, looking away at the same time I did. We both sighed at the same time, as one, and stared back at each other's eyes.
"I… I have to admit something…," Luna said quietly. I nodded at her.
"I'll listen," I responded. She bit onto her lip and looked away.
"I… I really like you, Gaara! But… But I don't know about this. I mean, you're the kazekage, and I'm just plain old Luna. There's nothing special about me, but you? You're the leader of our village that protects us, the village as one."
"Of course you're special," I blurted, blushing slightly. "Who said you're not special. You're special to me. You're soft, purple hair and pale, calm skin and those green eyes I always get lost in," I babbled off lowly, slowly touching her forehead with mine. "Luna, you are very special," I whispered. She stayed silent, looking straight me.
"I told my parents yesterday that I met you, and that I was coming to Konoha with you. They were outraged because they believed you were a monster. They told me not to come with you, but of course I refused, because you're not a monster, right Gaara?" That hurt. Her own parents didn't want me with her, all because of what's trapped inside of me. I didn't want the tailed beast in me, and just because it is doesn't mean I'm part of the monster it is.
"I'm no monster. A monster wouldn't do this," I mumbled, leaning forward to kiss her. Kiss her as gently as I could, to show her that a monster couldn't do something so sweet, gentle, and innocent like this form of love that is the kiss. We slowly parted, me hugging onto her waist, her hugging me around my neck. She hid her face in my neck.
"I'm sorry I believed my parents even the slightest bit," she said, her voice muffled and low. That angered me slightly, but I let it go. Her words were truly from her heart, meaning she was looking for my forgiveness.
"I forgive you."
~x~
And if it's a hero you want, I can save you
Just stay here, Your whispers are priceless
Your breath, it is dear, so please stay near
"Welcome to- Gaara?" Ino cut herself off, looking at me in disbelief as I walked into her flower shop. Luna entered behind me, holding strongly onto my hand, and peered around with curious eyes at the flowers around us. "What're you doing here? We weren't notified you were coming! And who's the girl?"
"Oh, my name is Luna! Beautiful shop you have!" Luna said cheerfully, holding out her hand. Ino raised an eyebrow at me and smiled at Luna.
"I'm Ino. Nice to meet you. And thanks, it's a family business."
"All these flowers are so pretty! I'm gonna look around, Gaara," Luna said before walking off to stare at all the flowers, carefully touching the petals of each that caught her eyes.
"Is she you're girlfriend?" Ino asked in a whisper, giving me a small smile.
"So it seems," I replied, smiling back casually. Ino nudged at my shoulder.
"Finally, little Gaara stepped up and got himself a girl! Tell you what. I'll let you're Luna keep some flowers for free. On me. I just have to be invited to the wedding." I chuckled slightly.
"Sure," I said with a small chuckle, walking over to Luna. "Ino is giving us some flowers for free. Do you know which ones you want?" Luna looked up from the flowers she was looking at and nodded.
"These. They're just like the color of your eyes," Luna said breathlessly, slowly stroking some green lilacs. I didn't even know there was such a thing as green lilacs.
"Do you want a bunch of these?" I asked, reaching for the vase. She shook her head no, her hair swaying slightly.
"No, I want the seeds to these. I want to grow them as my own. Can I do that?" she asked, confidence and sweetness in her voice. I smiled, because who could say no? I obviously couldn't.
"Yes, anything for you." She smiled broadly at me.
~x~
Say my name, I just want to hear you
Say my name, so I know it's true
You're changing me, You're changing me, You've showed me how to live
So just say, So just say
"We could have stayed the night there," I said as we walked through the now darkened sand from the night falling. Luna shook her head, holding onto the packet of seeds in her small hands.
"No, I want to get home right away to plant these babies. I can't wait!" Luna said eagerly, jumping up and down and causing her to stumble forward. I caught her hand and kept her close to me.
"Easy there. Maybe you should sleep now," I suggested. Luna looked troubled. Actually, Luna hasn't gone to sleep since we've headed for Konoha. She hasn't fallen asleep one bit, even though I sometimes caught her slowly drifting off. She stubbornly woke herself back up, though.
"No, I want to stay awake with you forever. It's not fair that you stay awake, while the rest of the world sleeps. It's torture, I bet. So, I'll stay awake with you. I don't want to miss anything you don't." I smiled at her. No one has ever been so true to me as she has. I've always wanted to meet someone who would risk something as great as sleep for me, and I've finally met such a person. Before I could lean in to kiss her, something caused Luna to gasp. My eyes widened as big as her emerald eyes did, and I looked down at her arm and saw some kind of blade going through it.
"Shit, Sasori, you hit the wrong person! Next time, get your aim better, hn?" a male voice shouted. I turned back, grabbing onto Luna's arm, and glared slightly at the pair of men yards behind us. I knew those two. Deidara and Sasori. Sasori returned his scorpion like tail, jabbing it out of Luna's arm carelessly. She shrieked in pain, stumbling forward. I caught her and she struggled to stay standing, but she stayed standing nonetheless.
"Girly should stay put. My weapons always have poison," Sasori scoffed. Luna winced, but smirked.
"This poison of yours must not be so effective then," she scoffed back, although the pain written on her face begged to differ.
"Luna, stay back."
"I can take these guys," she said, standing straighter.
"We've got ourselves a brave on, hn," Deidara laughed, facing Sasori. "I'll leave you to kill her, hn."
"Hmf, whatever," Sasori grumbled, bringing up that tail weapon. He lunged it forward, and I brought up my sand to protect Luna, but the tail pierced through my sand, something I haven't seen happen in a while, and struck Luna near the heart. Sasori dug the tail in deep before bringing it back to him in a quick movement. Luna stood in the sand, looking completely fine, but then her legs moved like jello and she crashed down against her back, staring straight at the sky.
"LUNA!" I shouted, kneeling to her side. The weapon had pierced her deep, almost jabbing straight into her heart. She was already losing much blood. It didn't look like anything could save her.
"I-I-I'm fine!" Luna breathed, struggling to sit up.
"Don't move! You're going to make it worse!"
"I'm fine, G-Gaara. R-Really, I am," Luna said, almost losing her breath.
"Save it. Luna, you can't die! You said you wanted to stay awake with me and not miss a thing. Please stay awake right now!"
"I will, Gaara," Luna whispered. "Just… say my name… I just want to hear you…"
"Luna, no… You're changing me, please don't go. You've showed me how to live, so I can't have you leave right now. Just stay awake, please," I could only whisper, bowing my head as I was close to tears.
"Enough with the lovey dovey crap!" Deidara shouted, throwing one of his explosive clay spiders towards us.
"No!" It was too late. The clay spider exploded, sending me flying backwards and crashing against a rock. My sand lightened the impact, but I still felt pain throughout my back. When I could get up and the smoke cleared up, I searched frantically for Luna. But she was gone, just like that.
"She's gone now, buddy. Now let's get to the real show, hn?"
"Calm down, Deidara. We need him alive."
"You fucking BASTARDS!" I shouted, the angry feeling in me causing my tailed beast's chakra to flow out. "I'm going to KILL YOU!"
~x~
That you'll stay awake for me
I don't want to miss anything, I just don't want to miss anything
I will share the air I breathe, I don't want to miss anything
I just don't want to miss anything
After I was done with those two, I searched everywhere for Luna's body, hoping I would find her alive. Even after the sun had risen, I still searched. But I couldn't find her, not one trace of her. The only thing that did stay to haunt me was those seeds. I grasped the small packet close to me as I walked to the village. Luckily, it seemed like no one had awakened yet. I wasn't in the mood to be greeted by anyone. Before anything, I believed the parents of Luna should be the first to know of her death. Funny, now that I think of it, lilacs are also a sign of mourning…
Like the last time I was before this house, I couldn't find the strength in me to knock on the door. But this time, Luna wasn't going to come crashing through the door and into my arms. Nothing was going to make this easier. I sighed, and gently knocked on the door. Soon, a woman who seemed to be in her mid-thirties opened the door, looking quite shocked to see me before her. She was just like Luna. Petite, green eyes, silky purple hair, and softly pale skin.
"Kazekage Gaara. What brings you here?" I hate having to give bad news…
"It's about your daughter, Luna." She narrowed her eyes at me.
"Oh, is that so?"
"Yes.. While escorting her to Konoha, we were ambushed by two Akatsuki members. Those two are dead now, but I'm afraid they took Luna down with her." Dead, awkward silence settled upon us. She stared forward, green eyes wide and filling with tears. "I'm sorr-"
The sound of her hand slapping my cheek erupted loudly, and the sound wasn't nearly as horrible as the pain. I held onto my cheek, which was probably now reddening, and faced Luna's mother once again.
"How could you let this happen to my daughter? I knew I shouldn't have let her go out with such a monster like you! What kind of escort are you? Stay away from this household! I don't want to see you ever again for as long as I live!" With that, and another slap across the face, she slammed the door in my face. Head hung low, packet of seeds close to my heart, I trudged back home.
~x~
Those seeds were the only thing I had left of Luna. Although thought impossible, I grew those flowers all by myself, like Luna would have wanted to. In a matter of days, they sprouted into full grown flowers, so quickly it startled me. I watched the flowers, day and night, mourning the death of probably the only girl I'd ever meet who would understand me so deeply and not care of the beast inside me.
And one day, standing on the cliff and staring at the sunset, I constructed another sand body of her. But the sand body would never be good as the real thing. The sand body was dull in color, the smile I try to remake would never be perfect, and the sand body wouldn't speak to me softly yet vibrantly like Luna would. Without her, nights were more restless, longer, and lonelier than ever.
"Gaara…" My eyes widened, and with one swift movement I turned back, the sand body falling into just a pile of sand, like it had always been.
"Luna?" I asked in a whisper. She smiled at me, laying a hand against her now bandaged wound tightly.
"I told you I would be okay."
"How did you…?"
"I healed myself. That tail thing, it didn't hit me as hard as you think. I wasn't going to go down so easily-" I quickly cut her off, pulling her into my arms. She gasped in surprise, but hugged me back, tears in both of our green eyes.
"Luna, I love you so much. Don't do that. Ever again," I whispered lightly.
"I said I would stay awake with you, Gaara. And I did."
