1 Heroes
2
Aware of the noise his squeaking shoes were creating n the hospital corridor Alexander Harris was unable to prevent the occurrence. "Shit!" quickly he drew around a corner and hid from the nurse now walking his way cursing his luck at drawing this duty.
Of all the things he had faced in the years since becoming a Slayerette, everything he had done to fight the good fight-Xander was still uncomfortable guarding the blood bank on a delivery night. His discomfort was increased by the fact that Buffy had not arrived to provide the major diversion for any of the living impaired that might be looking for an easy meal. Once the steps turned down the other hallway he poked his head out once more and scanned the area. "Xander what are you doing?" A hushed voice questioned harshly.
"Hey Buffy," he grinned at his friend trying to ignore the large Iowa raised growth attached to her side, "It's delivery night. I came to help."
Soft laughter escaped said growth's lips, "Harris leave this to the professionals before you get yourself hurt."
"Gee Riley," Xander smiled falsely, "I didn't know you cared."
Buffy's dark eyes flashed cutting off further sarcasm, "Can the testosterone. Xander go home it's okay we have it covered. Why don't you help Giles with something?"
Fighting his natural urge to tell the slayer and her man-whore where she could shove her concern Xander settled for silence. With a grim nod he turned and walked away wondering why he even bothered with any of it anymore. Angrily, he stalked the hallways of the hospital until he was completely lost. "Dammit!" he berated himself once more.
"Some things just won't be dammed," a quiet voice, answered him from the shadows and Xander instinctively went for his cross.
"Ummm…" he fumbled.
Slowly a gaunt girl with a shaved head and sunken eyes walked towards him with a blanket wrapped around her thin shoulders, "It's okay I won't say anything to the nurses about you being here after visiting hours-if you forget I wasn't in bed hooked up the machines like a good little girl."
"Deal," Xander held out his hand to her, "But you probably should go back to bed."
"Yeah," she drawled, "And you should probably shouldn't tell me what to do." Her voice softened, "I'm sorry I'm going nuts sitting there all day and night with nothing to do but think. I'm just sick of being outside life."
Xander's dark eyes measured the girl, "I know how you feel. Fun to watch it all go speeding by you isn't it."
"Especially when it sticks its tongue out at you as it passes," she shivered slightly and pulled her blanket tighter, "Guess I will get back to bed."
Snapping out of his funk Xander held out a hand, "I'm Xander."
"Sine," as she reached out a hand Sine stumbled into Xander weakly, "Sorry."
Wearing an expression similar to Willow's resolve face he slipped an arm around her small shoulders, "Where's your room I'll help you."
"I'm fine," Sine's hazel eyes glared then softened as pain flashed across the strained features, "But it can't hurt to let you help."
Gently, Xander guided Sine to her bed. He looked twice at all the machines surrounding it. "So why are you here anyway?"
"I'm dying." Sine replied lacking any emotion, "I have cancer. They've tried everything to put it into remission-for nothing."
Xander took a second look at the girl, "You're so young."
"Not really," the sadness in her eyes was deeper than the well of loneliness in Xander's own, "I've had leukemia since I was thirteen. I've managed to live with it for four years. Most of the people on my floor were little kids. I've been to most of their funerals."
Nodding Xander thought about all the funerals he had attended in his years in Sunnydale. The empty coffin below Jessie's marker gave him the most trouble. "I know it's hard to watch everyone else die."
With the slow care of an elderly person Sine began to crawl into bed, "Do you want to talk about it? In my therapy sessions for survivors we're always told to talk about how the loss feels to us. So we actually deal with the emotions instead of burring them."
"Well for you to understand I'd have to tell you some strange things." Xander sat down on a corner of the bed-facing Sine, "You wouldn't believe me."
Sine settled in with birdlike movements, "Try me. What have you got to loose?"
Meeting her eyes Xander realized how little he had to loose at that moment. "The world is older than we know. For eons before man it was a demon's paradise…"
"You mean hell?" She asked.
Pulling up her blanket for her Xander smiled, "Yeah exactly. Well when man appeared the last demon mixed his blood with person's and vampires were created. As long as there have been vampires there's been a slayer. A human girl born with the strength and ability to fight the forces of darkness."
Xander fidgeted realizing he was going to tell Sine the whole story, "My friend Buffy is the current slayer. She came here from LA four years ago. She saved one of my best friends from a vampire attack. Unfortunately she couldn't save the other one and he was made into a vampire."
"You had to kill him?" Sine placed a light hand on Xander's arm.
He was shocked that this girl could see into him the way she did, "I was holding the stake and he got pushed onto it. He was like a brother to me. Even when Willow-that's my other best friend didn't understand things Jessie was there for me…"
"What couldn't Willow understand?" Sine questioned interested in the young man on her bed.
Taking a shaky breath Xander spoke with out thinking for the first time in years, "About the way my parents are with me. My dad's a drunk and my mom- well they shouldn't be allowed to have a puppy let alone a kid. My first real memory of my dad is him hitting me because I interrupted his football game."
Using most of her strength Sine slid to Xander and caught him in her thin arms. Xander let himself enjoy the warm embrace. "Some demons are harder to fight than the ones with fangs and scales Xander." She whispered in his ear.
Turning he met her fathomless eyes. He had met a person who understood him. One who didn't expect him to be happy or a burden. Someone who was willing to let him be the real Xander. "Sometimes they have more slime than scales. They also didn't give birth to me."
"Honestly, screw your folks. If they can't see how strong and brave you are then they never will. I can't believe you're still sane. Fighting vampires and god knows what else for four years as well as your parents." Tears shone in her eyes, "You're a real hero."
"No I'm not." Xander corrected her, "Buffy is a hero. I'm just the guy who gets dounuts."
Sine pulled away from Xander ever so slightly, "No you're not Xander. Buffy has super powers-she's supposed to fight the bad guys. You are a hero because you're just a regular guy who can't stand by and let it happen. When you fight you do it to stop some one else from having to loose their best friend the way you had to. It's Buffy's duty-not yours. But you still fight."
Something in her words touched Xander and he realized that she was right. No matter what had happened to him; he refused to give up or let the darkness win. How many other people in Sunnydale knew about the vampires and demons and still did nothing preferring to stay in their homes-warm and safe-while mere children fought for the good of mankind? Almost physically Xander felt the weight he had been carrying for four years lift from his shoulders. He could see himself through the admiring eyes of Sine. Xander Harris was a hero-but so was she. "So do you Sine. You fight a battle I couldn't even imagine."
"That makes two of us," she kissed him gently on the cheek blushing, then paling as she saw the time on the clock by her bed, "You'd better get going Xander the nurse will be coming in for rounds soon."
Standing Xander felt much lighter in body and spirit, "Alright. But only if I can come visit you tomorrow during the proper hours."
A smile spread across Sine's tight features, "I was hoping you would."
Leaning down Xander lifted Sine's chin and kissed her gently on the lips. Her arms went around his neck; they could feel the passion building between them. Slowly they moved away from each other and Xander walked to the door, "You'll always be my hero Sine."
"You'll always be mine Xander." She smiled at him as he left.
**********
Whistling a cheerful tune Xander walked towards Sine's room. No matter what he was doing he couldn't stop hoping the clock would magically tell him it was time to go see her again. The last two months had been a wonderful dream for Xander. His feet were floating when he entered the room once more. The bed had been stripped and all signs of Sine's presence in the room had been removed. Head reeling Xander stopped the first nurse to pass him, "Excuse me what happened to the girl in this room."
She seemed to recognize him and nurse immediately moved into comfort mode. The older woman's face told him everything before she could even speak. Her eyes were full of pity, "Sine died a few hours ago dear, it was her time."
Dumbly, Xander took one last look at the room. He turned on his heel and walked back out of the hospital without a word.
**********
"So then Riley and I kissed and everything was great!" Buffy toyed with a stake as she and Willow patrolled the cemetery.
The red head smiled at her friend's happiness, "As long as there's a happy ending."
Buffy ignored the witch's comment and pointed towards a dark shape nearby, "Hey do you see that?"
Craning to see better Willow nodded, "It looks like Xander."
"What's he doing here at this time of night all alone?" the Slayer asked rhetorically and motioned for Willow to follow her to investigate.
As the girls watched Xander knelt by a small grave stone and set several red roses on the ground. He stayed for a few moments then stood leaving Buffy and Willow even more curious than they already were. "Who's this?" the Slayer moved forward when he was far enough away not to notice them.
The inscription read: Sine Mathews, June 13 1982-September 26 2000. Friend. Daughter. Hero.
2
Aware of the noise his squeaking shoes were creating n the hospital corridor Alexander Harris was unable to prevent the occurrence. "Shit!" quickly he drew around a corner and hid from the nurse now walking his way cursing his luck at drawing this duty.
Of all the things he had faced in the years since becoming a Slayerette, everything he had done to fight the good fight-Xander was still uncomfortable guarding the blood bank on a delivery night. His discomfort was increased by the fact that Buffy had not arrived to provide the major diversion for any of the living impaired that might be looking for an easy meal. Once the steps turned down the other hallway he poked his head out once more and scanned the area. "Xander what are you doing?" A hushed voice questioned harshly.
"Hey Buffy," he grinned at his friend trying to ignore the large Iowa raised growth attached to her side, "It's delivery night. I came to help."
Soft laughter escaped said growth's lips, "Harris leave this to the professionals before you get yourself hurt."
"Gee Riley," Xander smiled falsely, "I didn't know you cared."
Buffy's dark eyes flashed cutting off further sarcasm, "Can the testosterone. Xander go home it's okay we have it covered. Why don't you help Giles with something?"
Fighting his natural urge to tell the slayer and her man-whore where she could shove her concern Xander settled for silence. With a grim nod he turned and walked away wondering why he even bothered with any of it anymore. Angrily, he stalked the hallways of the hospital until he was completely lost. "Dammit!" he berated himself once more.
"Some things just won't be dammed," a quiet voice, answered him from the shadows and Xander instinctively went for his cross.
"Ummm…" he fumbled.
Slowly a gaunt girl with a shaved head and sunken eyes walked towards him with a blanket wrapped around her thin shoulders, "It's okay I won't say anything to the nurses about you being here after visiting hours-if you forget I wasn't in bed hooked up the machines like a good little girl."
"Deal," Xander held out his hand to her, "But you probably should go back to bed."
"Yeah," she drawled, "And you should probably shouldn't tell me what to do." Her voice softened, "I'm sorry I'm going nuts sitting there all day and night with nothing to do but think. I'm just sick of being outside life."
Xander's dark eyes measured the girl, "I know how you feel. Fun to watch it all go speeding by you isn't it."
"Especially when it sticks its tongue out at you as it passes," she shivered slightly and pulled her blanket tighter, "Guess I will get back to bed."
Snapping out of his funk Xander held out a hand, "I'm Xander."
"Sine," as she reached out a hand Sine stumbled into Xander weakly, "Sorry."
Wearing an expression similar to Willow's resolve face he slipped an arm around her small shoulders, "Where's your room I'll help you."
"I'm fine," Sine's hazel eyes glared then softened as pain flashed across the strained features, "But it can't hurt to let you help."
Gently, Xander guided Sine to her bed. He looked twice at all the machines surrounding it. "So why are you here anyway?"
"I'm dying." Sine replied lacking any emotion, "I have cancer. They've tried everything to put it into remission-for nothing."
Xander took a second look at the girl, "You're so young."
"Not really," the sadness in her eyes was deeper than the well of loneliness in Xander's own, "I've had leukemia since I was thirteen. I've managed to live with it for four years. Most of the people on my floor were little kids. I've been to most of their funerals."
Nodding Xander thought about all the funerals he had attended in his years in Sunnydale. The empty coffin below Jessie's marker gave him the most trouble. "I know it's hard to watch everyone else die."
With the slow care of an elderly person Sine began to crawl into bed, "Do you want to talk about it? In my therapy sessions for survivors we're always told to talk about how the loss feels to us. So we actually deal with the emotions instead of burring them."
"Well for you to understand I'd have to tell you some strange things." Xander sat down on a corner of the bed-facing Sine, "You wouldn't believe me."
Sine settled in with birdlike movements, "Try me. What have you got to loose?"
Meeting her eyes Xander realized how little he had to loose at that moment. "The world is older than we know. For eons before man it was a demon's paradise…"
"You mean hell?" She asked.
Pulling up her blanket for her Xander smiled, "Yeah exactly. Well when man appeared the last demon mixed his blood with person's and vampires were created. As long as there have been vampires there's been a slayer. A human girl born with the strength and ability to fight the forces of darkness."
Xander fidgeted realizing he was going to tell Sine the whole story, "My friend Buffy is the current slayer. She came here from LA four years ago. She saved one of my best friends from a vampire attack. Unfortunately she couldn't save the other one and he was made into a vampire."
"You had to kill him?" Sine placed a light hand on Xander's arm.
He was shocked that this girl could see into him the way she did, "I was holding the stake and he got pushed onto it. He was like a brother to me. Even when Willow-that's my other best friend didn't understand things Jessie was there for me…"
"What couldn't Willow understand?" Sine questioned interested in the young man on her bed.
Taking a shaky breath Xander spoke with out thinking for the first time in years, "About the way my parents are with me. My dad's a drunk and my mom- well they shouldn't be allowed to have a puppy let alone a kid. My first real memory of my dad is him hitting me because I interrupted his football game."
Using most of her strength Sine slid to Xander and caught him in her thin arms. Xander let himself enjoy the warm embrace. "Some demons are harder to fight than the ones with fangs and scales Xander." She whispered in his ear.
Turning he met her fathomless eyes. He had met a person who understood him. One who didn't expect him to be happy or a burden. Someone who was willing to let him be the real Xander. "Sometimes they have more slime than scales. They also didn't give birth to me."
"Honestly, screw your folks. If they can't see how strong and brave you are then they never will. I can't believe you're still sane. Fighting vampires and god knows what else for four years as well as your parents." Tears shone in her eyes, "You're a real hero."
"No I'm not." Xander corrected her, "Buffy is a hero. I'm just the guy who gets dounuts."
Sine pulled away from Xander ever so slightly, "No you're not Xander. Buffy has super powers-she's supposed to fight the bad guys. You are a hero because you're just a regular guy who can't stand by and let it happen. When you fight you do it to stop some one else from having to loose their best friend the way you had to. It's Buffy's duty-not yours. But you still fight."
Something in her words touched Xander and he realized that she was right. No matter what had happened to him; he refused to give up or let the darkness win. How many other people in Sunnydale knew about the vampires and demons and still did nothing preferring to stay in their homes-warm and safe-while mere children fought for the good of mankind? Almost physically Xander felt the weight he had been carrying for four years lift from his shoulders. He could see himself through the admiring eyes of Sine. Xander Harris was a hero-but so was she. "So do you Sine. You fight a battle I couldn't even imagine."
"That makes two of us," she kissed him gently on the cheek blushing, then paling as she saw the time on the clock by her bed, "You'd better get going Xander the nurse will be coming in for rounds soon."
Standing Xander felt much lighter in body and spirit, "Alright. But only if I can come visit you tomorrow during the proper hours."
A smile spread across Sine's tight features, "I was hoping you would."
Leaning down Xander lifted Sine's chin and kissed her gently on the lips. Her arms went around his neck; they could feel the passion building between them. Slowly they moved away from each other and Xander walked to the door, "You'll always be my hero Sine."
"You'll always be mine Xander." She smiled at him as he left.
**********
Whistling a cheerful tune Xander walked towards Sine's room. No matter what he was doing he couldn't stop hoping the clock would magically tell him it was time to go see her again. The last two months had been a wonderful dream for Xander. His feet were floating when he entered the room once more. The bed had been stripped and all signs of Sine's presence in the room had been removed. Head reeling Xander stopped the first nurse to pass him, "Excuse me what happened to the girl in this room."
She seemed to recognize him and nurse immediately moved into comfort mode. The older woman's face told him everything before she could even speak. Her eyes were full of pity, "Sine died a few hours ago dear, it was her time."
Dumbly, Xander took one last look at the room. He turned on his heel and walked back out of the hospital without a word.
**********
"So then Riley and I kissed and everything was great!" Buffy toyed with a stake as she and Willow patrolled the cemetery.
The red head smiled at her friend's happiness, "As long as there's a happy ending."
Buffy ignored the witch's comment and pointed towards a dark shape nearby, "Hey do you see that?"
Craning to see better Willow nodded, "It looks like Xander."
"What's he doing here at this time of night all alone?" the Slayer asked rhetorically and motioned for Willow to follow her to investigate.
As the girls watched Xander knelt by a small grave stone and set several red roses on the ground. He stayed for a few moments then stood leaving Buffy and Willow even more curious than they already were. "Who's this?" the Slayer moved forward when he was far enough away not to notice them.
The inscription read: Sine Mathews, June 13 1982-September 26 2000. Friend. Daughter. Hero.