The teenager slammed the paper folder down on the wooden desk, making the black-haired head of the man sat behind it look up, an eyebrow raised. It wasn't unusual for Edward to come storming into his office, all guns blazing, to deliver his reports in a similarly moody manner, but this time he'd strode into the office without a single word, used his steel arm to slam the paper down violently enough that he left small dints in the woodwork, and now seemed to be developing an intense interest in his own feet.

This definitely wasn't a good sign, Roy noted, as he opened the folder and pulled out the two sheets of paper inside, his dark eyes beginning to scan Ed's messy scrawl. He looked back up halfway through, to find Ed's smouldering golden eyes observing his reaction, and he looked back down at the paper, careful to remain stoic.

"Am I dismissed?" Ed broke the silence thirty seconds later, to which Roy shook his head, and gave Edward the last order he wanted.

"Take a seat, Fullmetal. We need to talk about this."

Ed gave a small, annoyed groan, and went over to flop onto one of the two couches which sat around a long coffee table in the centre of the room. "I don't really see what there is to talk about, Colonel. It's nothin' you haven't done before."

Roy wasn't sure what to think about that, as he walked over to sit on the couch opposite his subordinate. "Fullmetal... don't be stupid. You and I both know this is going to tear you apart if it's left alone."

Ed huffed, crossing his arms in what almost seemed like a defensive way, his eyes once again turning away from the Flame Alchemist's gaze.

"Colonel, it's nothing. I know what I signed up for." He felt his throat beginning to form a tight ball despite himself. "It was me or him."

Roy nodded. "True as that may be, we both know it was an accident. I know you Fullmetal, and you'd go to absolutely any length necessary not to kill. You're angry with yourself."

Edward's foot obsession made itself known once again as he tried to dodge the Colonel's vivid gaze. He didn't know what to say; the man had hit the nail right on the head. "Who made you my counsellor?" He asked shortly, voice high pitched and small.

"I did." Roy replied simply, not missing a beat.

Edward bowed his head, making sure his bangs were obscuring his eyes. Damn Colonel, he would've been fine if the smug bastard hadn't brought it up. He felt the ball in his throat grow bigger, tighter, and his eyes began to burn. Stupid Colonel, this was all his fault.

Roy watched the increasingly flustered Edward, and remained silent. He decided not to push it.

Edward broke the quiet with a small sob, keeping his head bowed. He felt hot tears stream down his cheeks, and hastily wiped them away. They just kept coming though, even more so when he tried to stop them. "I killed someone." A sniffle, "I killed another person, just to protect myself."

Roy frowned, watching the tears stream down Ed's chin and drip onto his shirt. "I don't doubt that you were left without a choice. It's what soldiers do, Edward; we all have blood on our hands." He didn't even realise he'd referred to Edward by his actual name until it was too late, but decided it could be deemed appropriate in this situation.

Edward sobbed again, burying his face in his hands. "I know... I've had that hammered into my head enough times..." He sniffled, voice still muffled by his hands as he continued. "I said I'd never kill anyone for you... you corrupt bastards and your stupid agendas... and now I've done it; I've taken someone's existence away, just like that."

Mustang sighed, thinking back on his own experiences with death and the overwhelming despair it had brought with it. The Ishballan civil war always came back to haunt him at times like this. Thirteen years ago, and he still remembered it as clearly as if it had happened yesterday.

"You know, Fullmetal." Roy moved around to sit next to the silently sobbing blonde, placing a hand on his shoulder. "This isn't easy for any of us. It never is." He remembered an entire town ablaze, by his own hand, thousands of civilians fleeing, burning, screaming. Those memories would never leave him. "But we as soldiers must obey orders. That's the path we've chosen, State Alchemists are tools; nothing more. We can be human on our own time. But for now, we all have our reasons for being here."

Edward went quiet for a moment, remembering Nina, the little girl whose life had been taken away by her own father so soon after it had been given to her. He remembered feeling helpless. She'd been right there, right under his nose, and there had been nothing he could do to help her. State Alchemists - the military - protecting people. What a joke.

He'd gone through a battle with himself to keep going after that, to find a purpose to his pathetic little existence, but in the end he realised that standing up and moving on was all he could do. If he just shut down, Alphonse would be lost, too. Thus was his reason, the one thing that kept him going in times like these; he couldn't just leave his brother after everything he'd put him through.

Edward sniffled, rubbing his bleary eyes. "So, what's your reason?"

Mustang thought about how to answer that question. He remembered Riza, kneeling by a mound of dirt with a crude wooden cross sticking out the top. An Ishballan child, one of many innocent lives lost to his flames. "To change this country. To make things right."

Ed gazed at his boss for a moment, a look in the man's eyes he couldn't quite put his finger on. "And you," he continued, and Ed jumped a bit as Roy's eyes turned to meet his own. "Stand up, and keep your head held high. Don't lose sight of your goal, not even for a second."

Ed nodded, the now drying tears leaving dark tracks on his cheeks.

"Nobody's forcing you, we're merely offering you the opportunity. Will you wallow in that chair for the rest of your life? Or will you rise up, and seize the chance the military can give you?"

The little blonde boy, only ten years old, half of his limbs missing and hunched miserably in his wheelchair, stared in a dead silence up at the soldier, who met his broken eyes with a stern expression in his own.

"It's your choice. You can stand still. Or move forward."

Edward rubbed the last of the tears from his slightly puffy eyes, and stood up. "Yeah. You're right, Colonel."

"Gosh, that poor boy. I don't think I've ever seen anyone look so defeated."

Roy looked at the woman beside him, a smile tugging at his features.

"Really? Is that what you saw?"

Roy watched, as the young soldier turned to smile at him, the distraught look in his eyes replaced by one of ferocious determination.

"Thanks." Edward said simply, and turned to leave.

"Hmph. You haven't changed a bit in five years." Roy mused, a smile forming on his lips.

Edward turned back to look at Roy. "Whaddaya mean by that?"

Roy smirked. "I mean you haven't grown an inch."

"WHO YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL HE COULD BE SQUISHED LIKE A BUG YOU JERK!"

"There was fire in those eyes."