Title: Taunting guilt
Chp: 1 -- Darkness
Author: Arthen
E-mail: arthen@saiyan.com
Rating: PG-13
Standard disclaimers apply.
AN: A new ficcie, which I hope earns your satisfaction ^_^
Any comments and criticism are apreciated.
** ** ** ** ** **
Darkness . . .
Pure and utter darkness enveloped the night sky, and amongst the still
lifeless roads the encircled the high mountains. One vehicle dared to
journey in a night, where the skies expressed their utmost anger.
Drops of rain beat against the earth, sending clusters of strong winds
blowing furiously in an angry lash. Thunder roared violently, creating
echoes of fury against the spaces of nothingness.
A flash of lightening lit the darkened sky, revealing the figure of a
small boy, snuggling protectively in his passenger seat; fear gripping
his heart. The rain continued to fall mercilessly against the lone car,
as it struggled to maintain it's balance on the rocky; yet slippery
roads.
A strong bolt of lightening zapped sovereignty amongst the massive
nimbus clouds, expressing a vengeful fury. His heart beat rapidly,
fuelled by nerve racking fear. His body shivered uncontrollably; not
from the cold, but from the enraging tendrils of darkness.
An ear shattering roar erupted, sending his adrenaline to it's peak. He
screamed in fear and desperation, in need of his mother's embrace. In
an attempt to reach the safe confines of his mother's warm
protectiveness, he did not anticipate the distraction he had caused, as
his father lost his controlled grip over the steering wheel; nor did he
anticipate the swirling of the car as it drove off the cliff and plunged
deeper, and deeper into and endless pool of . . .
Darkness . . .
** ** ** ** ** **
His eyes snapped open, beads of sweat trickled down his unnaturally
paled cheeks. It was that dream again, no . . . nightmare that claimed
his mind and a chain of restless sleep, ever since the accident that
robbed him of cherished memories.
He saw himself as a little boy, no younger than 6; and the event as the
scenes unfolded before his very eyes. Regarding the countless times
he's received these disturbing visions, he could never distinguish the
features of either parent. Although, he caught one dominating
emotion that radiated from their eyes . . .
Fear . . .
He could never forget that look, nor deny the guilt that etched at his
soul. It was his fault, his parents had died!
Murderer . . .
Their blood stained his hands; even the world's largest ocean would
run dry and fail to cleanse them. He deserved it, all of it: the pain, the
anguish, the guilt, the loneliness.
It was his fault!
All his fault . . .
Why hadn't he died then?! Oh, how much he would give if they
survived instead!
Murderer . . .
** ** ** ** ** **
He took a look at his alarm clock, 5 pm . . . 'I can't possibly go back
to sleep now . . .'
he silently contemplated to himself. After much need thought,
Mamoru decided to take
a walk, perhaps it would ease his troubled mind and raging emotions.
Putting on his coat over a pair of sweat pants and polo shirt, he
headed out the door.
For a whole 2 hours, he wandered aimlessly, walking along the
smooth paths of Juuban park, and long resolved to settling against the
railing of a small bridge that overlooked the lake.
His mind and soul still struggled with the over whelming emotions,
he knew he could not
deny them anymore, no longer hiding behind an emotionless barrier.
He couldn't go on like
nothing had happened; cold and aloof, as he grew up to be . . .
Through his childhood life span, he grew up deprived of happiness,
love and friendship.
Even the simple act of crying deprived him from grieving over his
parents' loss . . .
Pain . . .
He learned to be independent, making himself believe that he needed no
one, he could make it on his own without being hurt. Thus, he
distanced himself from society, from the physical and emotional
abuse that the bullies at the orphanage inflicted upon him. He shut
himself off, numbed from the pain, away from humiliation,
from love . . .
Loneliness . . .
He pushed himself to work hard, plunged deeper into his studies; an
escape from the world he knew all too well. Now, he was a full
scholar at Azabu High, a prestigious all-boy school, he secured a
good job, rented his own apartment and owned a fancy car. He had
anything a man his age would ask for, the looks, the charm and a
mind! Yet; there was something vital missing, something that his soul
yearned for in the midst of all the pain . . .
Love . . .
And then, there was Motoki, his friend, his ONLY friend. It still
amazed him how Motoki persistently continued to be by his side. He
cared for him, more so an affection only one would hold towards a
dear brother. Yes, he was like a brother to him, though he would
never admit it, he would not deny it either, yet he kept himself at a
distance from fear that if ever Motoki discovered his horrible sin, he
would lose him and his friendship.
Murderer . . .
The rain began to pour heavily . . . just like it had then 11 years ago . .
. Yet, he ignored the shivers that ensued as endless wisps of cold air
blew against his soaked figure. He felt the numbness creep up his
hands and gradually coursed its way to all his body, he welcomed it
openly.
Perhaps this way he could dull the pain . . .
** ** ** ** ** **
Several hours had passed since she found him there, transfixed and
unmoving. She was on her way home, hoping to reach there before
the rain worsened.
"Mamoru-san?" She questioned timidly, moving closer towards the
stooped figure. His head swirled to meet with the caller of his name,
and then their eyes met . . .
Dark midnight blue against clear sky blue eyes . . .
His stare frightened her, they burned with an intensity . . .
Could it be?
Pain?!
That was impossible! This was Chiba Mamoru, the detached,
reserved man that enjoyed taunting her. The same strong, egoistical
jerk that looked unnaturally vulnerable at that moment . . .
"Daijabou ka?" she queried, worry etching at her face. He didn't
respond, but continued to gaze in confusion, bewildered as to why she
was there.
"Are you alright?" she repeated for the second time, it took him a
while to allow her words to sink in, did he then utter hoarsely,
"Odango?"
Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion . . . 'What is wrong with him?'
Pulling her umbrella closer, shading them both from the pouring rain,
she allowed her eyes to wander his drenched figure and noted his
fierce shivering.
He felt her eyes boring into him and inwardly blushed, he opened his
mouth in an effort to voice out his confusion, but was greeted with a
fit of coughs. Alarmed, Usagi leaned towards the hunched form as
another seizure of violent coughs ensued.
"Mamoru?" She called out in panic, as his fits grew more intense.
She tugged at his sleeve and with much effort, dragged him towards a
secluded bench. Taking in a deep breath to sooth her raging panic, she
stretched a delicate hand towards his forehead and inwardly gasped.
He was burning with fever!
Pain surged through his chest like an erupting volcanoe, his head
swam in a sea of nausea, and what little energy left, was used to
strengthen his losing grip on consciousness. He found it difficult to
breath, as his chest racked with ensuing seizures that whipped at him
ruthlessly; lungs tightened from lack of air.
"Mamoru?", her soft voice floated across his mind, registering her
frantic tone, he struggled to reassure her. "It's OK, I'm alright", lifting
his eyes to meet hers and granted her a small brave smile in
assurance. Unfortunately it was all too soon as another fit of coughs
attacked.
A feel of dread settled in the pit of her stomach, as her eyes lay set
upon the pool of crimson that began to seep from the hand he used to
cover his mouth.
"BLOOD! God, what's happening to you?!" Tears threatening to spill.
'No time for that Usagi! I have to find help somehow!' She berated.
Heading towards the nearest telephone booth, she called the first
person that came to mind.
"Hello?"
"M-Motoki?"
"Usagi-chan! . . . Is there something wrong?" he questioned, sensing a
feel of foreboding.
"H-Hai . . . It's Mamoru . . ."
** ** ** ** ** **
to be continued . . .
** ** ** ** ** **
Either review or email, and let me know what you think!
Chp: 1 -- Darkness
Author: Arthen
E-mail: arthen@saiyan.com
Rating: PG-13
Standard disclaimers apply.
AN: A new ficcie, which I hope earns your satisfaction ^_^
Any comments and criticism are apreciated.
** ** ** ** ** **
Darkness . . .
Pure and utter darkness enveloped the night sky, and amongst the still
lifeless roads the encircled the high mountains. One vehicle dared to
journey in a night, where the skies expressed their utmost anger.
Drops of rain beat against the earth, sending clusters of strong winds
blowing furiously in an angry lash. Thunder roared violently, creating
echoes of fury against the spaces of nothingness.
A flash of lightening lit the darkened sky, revealing the figure of a
small boy, snuggling protectively in his passenger seat; fear gripping
his heart. The rain continued to fall mercilessly against the lone car,
as it struggled to maintain it's balance on the rocky; yet slippery
roads.
A strong bolt of lightening zapped sovereignty amongst the massive
nimbus clouds, expressing a vengeful fury. His heart beat rapidly,
fuelled by nerve racking fear. His body shivered uncontrollably; not
from the cold, but from the enraging tendrils of darkness.
An ear shattering roar erupted, sending his adrenaline to it's peak. He
screamed in fear and desperation, in need of his mother's embrace. In
an attempt to reach the safe confines of his mother's warm
protectiveness, he did not anticipate the distraction he had caused, as
his father lost his controlled grip over the steering wheel; nor did he
anticipate the swirling of the car as it drove off the cliff and plunged
deeper, and deeper into and endless pool of . . .
Darkness . . .
** ** ** ** ** **
His eyes snapped open, beads of sweat trickled down his unnaturally
paled cheeks. It was that dream again, no . . . nightmare that claimed
his mind and a chain of restless sleep, ever since the accident that
robbed him of cherished memories.
He saw himself as a little boy, no younger than 6; and the event as the
scenes unfolded before his very eyes. Regarding the countless times
he's received these disturbing visions, he could never distinguish the
features of either parent. Although, he caught one dominating
emotion that radiated from their eyes . . .
Fear . . .
He could never forget that look, nor deny the guilt that etched at his
soul. It was his fault, his parents had died!
Murderer . . .
Their blood stained his hands; even the world's largest ocean would
run dry and fail to cleanse them. He deserved it, all of it: the pain, the
anguish, the guilt, the loneliness.
It was his fault!
All his fault . . .
Why hadn't he died then?! Oh, how much he would give if they
survived instead!
Murderer . . .
** ** ** ** ** **
He took a look at his alarm clock, 5 pm . . . 'I can't possibly go back
to sleep now . . .'
he silently contemplated to himself. After much need thought,
Mamoru decided to take
a walk, perhaps it would ease his troubled mind and raging emotions.
Putting on his coat over a pair of sweat pants and polo shirt, he
headed out the door.
For a whole 2 hours, he wandered aimlessly, walking along the
smooth paths of Juuban park, and long resolved to settling against the
railing of a small bridge that overlooked the lake.
His mind and soul still struggled with the over whelming emotions,
he knew he could not
deny them anymore, no longer hiding behind an emotionless barrier.
He couldn't go on like
nothing had happened; cold and aloof, as he grew up to be . . .
Through his childhood life span, he grew up deprived of happiness,
love and friendship.
Even the simple act of crying deprived him from grieving over his
parents' loss . . .
Pain . . .
He learned to be independent, making himself believe that he needed no
one, he could make it on his own without being hurt. Thus, he
distanced himself from society, from the physical and emotional
abuse that the bullies at the orphanage inflicted upon him. He shut
himself off, numbed from the pain, away from humiliation,
from love . . .
Loneliness . . .
He pushed himself to work hard, plunged deeper into his studies; an
escape from the world he knew all too well. Now, he was a full
scholar at Azabu High, a prestigious all-boy school, he secured a
good job, rented his own apartment and owned a fancy car. He had
anything a man his age would ask for, the looks, the charm and a
mind! Yet; there was something vital missing, something that his soul
yearned for in the midst of all the pain . . .
Love . . .
And then, there was Motoki, his friend, his ONLY friend. It still
amazed him how Motoki persistently continued to be by his side. He
cared for him, more so an affection only one would hold towards a
dear brother. Yes, he was like a brother to him, though he would
never admit it, he would not deny it either, yet he kept himself at a
distance from fear that if ever Motoki discovered his horrible sin, he
would lose him and his friendship.
Murderer . . .
The rain began to pour heavily . . . just like it had then 11 years ago . .
. Yet, he ignored the shivers that ensued as endless wisps of cold air
blew against his soaked figure. He felt the numbness creep up his
hands and gradually coursed its way to all his body, he welcomed it
openly.
Perhaps this way he could dull the pain . . .
** ** ** ** ** **
Several hours had passed since she found him there, transfixed and
unmoving. She was on her way home, hoping to reach there before
the rain worsened.
"Mamoru-san?" She questioned timidly, moving closer towards the
stooped figure. His head swirled to meet with the caller of his name,
and then their eyes met . . .
Dark midnight blue against clear sky blue eyes . . .
His stare frightened her, they burned with an intensity . . .
Could it be?
Pain?!
That was impossible! This was Chiba Mamoru, the detached,
reserved man that enjoyed taunting her. The same strong, egoistical
jerk that looked unnaturally vulnerable at that moment . . .
"Daijabou ka?" she queried, worry etching at her face. He didn't
respond, but continued to gaze in confusion, bewildered as to why she
was there.
"Are you alright?" she repeated for the second time, it took him a
while to allow her words to sink in, did he then utter hoarsely,
"Odango?"
Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion . . . 'What is wrong with him?'
Pulling her umbrella closer, shading them both from the pouring rain,
she allowed her eyes to wander his drenched figure and noted his
fierce shivering.
He felt her eyes boring into him and inwardly blushed, he opened his
mouth in an effort to voice out his confusion, but was greeted with a
fit of coughs. Alarmed, Usagi leaned towards the hunched form as
another seizure of violent coughs ensued.
"Mamoru?" She called out in panic, as his fits grew more intense.
She tugged at his sleeve and with much effort, dragged him towards a
secluded bench. Taking in a deep breath to sooth her raging panic, she
stretched a delicate hand towards his forehead and inwardly gasped.
He was burning with fever!
Pain surged through his chest like an erupting volcanoe, his head
swam in a sea of nausea, and what little energy left, was used to
strengthen his losing grip on consciousness. He found it difficult to
breath, as his chest racked with ensuing seizures that whipped at him
ruthlessly; lungs tightened from lack of air.
"Mamoru?", her soft voice floated across his mind, registering her
frantic tone, he struggled to reassure her. "It's OK, I'm alright", lifting
his eyes to meet hers and granted her a small brave smile in
assurance. Unfortunately it was all too soon as another fit of coughs
attacked.
A feel of dread settled in the pit of her stomach, as her eyes lay set
upon the pool of crimson that began to seep from the hand he used to
cover his mouth.
"BLOOD! God, what's happening to you?!" Tears threatening to spill.
'No time for that Usagi! I have to find help somehow!' She berated.
Heading towards the nearest telephone booth, she called the first
person that came to mind.
"Hello?"
"M-Motoki?"
"Usagi-chan! . . . Is there something wrong?" he questioned, sensing a
feel of foreboding.
"H-Hai . . . It's Mamoru . . ."
** ** ** ** ** **
to be continued . . .
** ** ** ** ** **
Either review or email, and let me know what you think!