Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, Weiss Kreuz, or this idea. The idea came from a new reality show. It's called, "My Big, Fat, Obnoxious Fiancé."
Story: Getting cold feet, Mamoru breaks it off with Usagi. To cheer her up, Michiru and Haruka put her on a dating show to have fun. Alongside needing a vacation from the antics of his team, Crawford sees an opportunity to seize more funds
Set after dunno anymore
Spoilers: I don't think so.
Warnings: OOC mostly in the beginning, perverts, raunchy humor, weird humor, craziness, etc…
Pairings: Usagi/Crawford

My Obnoxious, Irritating Fiancé
Chapter One: It Was a Matter of Money and a Little Heartbreak…and Annoying Red Heads

Tsukino Usagi didn't understand what was happening. She had thought everything was going fine. She and Mamoru were happy, in a steady relationship, her parents had finally accepted their relationship (if not really him so much)…So why was he –

"I just think we need a break, Usako," her beloved Mamoru tried to give her a gentle smile. He took her hands in his and squeezed them. "Crystal Tokyo is such a big destiny ahead of us…I don't even know if we're ready. I still have so much to do and want to do, and you haven't even gotten to do much with your own life either. I just think we should separate for a while, maybe even…even see other people," he ended hesitantly.

Usagi wasn't sure she heard right. Had he really said that-that they should see other people? But they were destined for each other! How could he even think of such a thing? What was even the point? They were supposed to be together, create Crystal Tokyo, and give birth to Chibiusa!

"Usako?"

Why did he sound so pained? It was her heart that was breaking.

Usagi gave a watery smile (she'd always been so bad at trying to hide her emotions). "I-I understand, Mamoru. It'll be good for us, yes? So let's take a break."

Inside, her heart was crumbling into pieces, but if this was what her Mamoru wanted then of course she'd give it to him. She'd give anything for him.

But that now left her to walk back home that evening, near tears that had been threatening to fall ever since Mamoru had first talked to her about having a break in their relationship. She'd been fighting hard to keep them at bay, but it looked like she was finally going to lose the battle.

"Eh? Why is my little bunny all upset? Odango-hime!" A familiar voice called out with her usual nickname, and she turned to her right and saw one of her Outer Senshi smirking lazily from the driver's seat of her car, with her companion sitting shotgun.

She smiled –or tried to at least –at Haruka and then peeked around her at Michiru to wave hi to her also. She walked over, ignoring that her tears had begun to fall at last, and reached them quickly.

Haruka frowned. "Seriously though, are you okay, Usagi?"

"Perhaps would you like to come with us to eat some imagawayaki? Haruka decided she'd been craving some earlier, so we've been searching for a confectionary shop or a bakery somewhere," Michiru smiled at her gently.

"Michi-chan wants fruit custard in hers, but I want vanilla," Haruka grinned. "Hop on in, Princess! Come with us," she coaxed the upset girl.

Usagi decided she needed some dessert to cheer her up, so this was the perfect opportunity. She slid into the back of the car, and then Haruka drove off in her usual speed. After a few red lights being broken, they arrived at a confectionary shop that had advertisements on the outside that showed they sold a variety of the Japanese dessert, along with other dessert choices that Usagi thought she might like to try out. Inside of the shop, Michiru sat down at a table to save them a seat and Usagi went with Haruka to order.

"What would you like, Usa-chan?" Haruka asked.

"Um…can I have some santa andagi? I could take a few home..." Usagi hummed in thought, glad that she wasn't crying anymore.

Haruka grinned mischievously and poked at the hair buns on Usagi's head. "If you just wanted buns, we could have just chopped these off and deep fried and coated them in sugar so they end up sweet!"

Usagi blushed. "Ehhh? Haruka-san!"

From where she sat (though she couldn't hear them), Michiru reprimanded her girlfriend anyway. "Haruka, please stop teasing our princess and order already."

"You're no fun, Michi-chan," Haruka pouted, but did end up focusing on ordering for the three of them.

Usagi, however, went quiet again as she remembered what had happened with her and Mamoru, and being reminded of him and how they had been when seeing the interactions of Michiru and Haruka together.

"Hey, Usa-chan, let's head back to the table, alright?" Haruka nudged her slightly.

Usagi nodded distractedly and followed the older woman to the table. She was surprised though, that Michiru was the first to talk and push the issue about Usagi's unhappiness. So she told them. She told them everything. How she was in the middle of actually trying her best to study for the entrance exams to a college so she wouldn't be a ronin anymore, and how Mamoru had called her up and wanted to talk to her. How he had told her about how it was really important for him to focus on becoming a doctor and going to America, and that also he was wanting to focus on that and not be in a relationship with her –as well as the fact that the future of what they knew was such a huge thing to think about and that maybe it was best to take a break.

"Sounds like someone has cold feet," Haruka muttered in agitation.

"But, while selfish, he does have a point," Michiru took a sip of the water Haruka had gotten each of them. Haruka gave her an incredulous glare while Usagi almost deflated in her seat. "It is a heavy future looming over us all, but especially you two. I can see why he got anxious about it. However, I would think that you'd be the one getting upset and afraid of the future –you have had less to accomplish and experience in life than he has, and has had everything decided for you from the start before you could even start making decisions for yourself.

"There's also Mamoru-san's idea that of becoming a doctor and going to America, for it also doesn't have quite that much sense in not wanting to be in a relationship with you. Why not? Are you a distraction? Does he really just not want to be in a relationship with you? Honestly, he could achieve all of that he wanted without breaking up with you, unless those were the issues."

Haruka's glare had gone by then, but Usagi became more and more depressed as she talked. Did Mamoru really not want to be with her?

"I can understand Mamoru-san's anxiety about the future," Michiru continued solemnly. "But you are in the same boat and yet also in a more unfair situation than he. You have to give up more than him, have had less time to live your own life, and have more responsibilities and duties to deal with. You are so young still. I can understand his fear, but I understand more that you have more of a right to be afraid of the future and yet you truly aren't, in a way because you have accepted and embraced it because you see what you'll do for the world and the life you will create. So yes, Mamoru-san is anxious about the future…but aside from your acceptance and embrace of it, you are too, aren't you, Princess?"

Usagi swirled her straw in the water, biting her lip. "It is scary to think about all of that and how the future depends on me. But…I'm going to have Chibiusa. And I'll have all of you by my side. And I thought I had…I thought I had Mamo-chan." She almost bit her lip to the point it would have bled, but Haruka took one of her hands and gave her a small smile. "Even if I'm scared, I have all of you and I remember what the future will bring. The biggest support was supposed to be Mamoru, but now that he isn't…"

She felt almost lost.

"And you'll always have us, Usagi," Haruka said fiercely. "You don't need that bastard, even if he comes crawling back to you!"

Usagi gave them a grateful look, while Michiru quickly reprimanded Haruka on her language. Maybe…maybe everything will still be okay. And maybe Mamoru will come crawling back –she'd give him hell of course, at first, but then she'd accept him because she loved him. Like he loved her. Right?

He…he still loved her, right?

Their order was called out and Haruka went to go get it, but Usagi was still haunted by that thought.

Later that night, having called Usagi's mom to let her know that Usagi was sleeping over, they had all watched some action films at Haruka's assistance. If she demanded they watch Kingsman: Secret Service and then straight onto John Wick that was her prerogative. Those were damn good movies.

Of course, since Hotaru was here, they had to watch a more appropriate movie first before sending her off to sleep. If Haruka had to watch another Twilight film, she might just throw up…There were times she regretted that Hotaru was becoming a teen and going through puberty…

"Pasty, pale, sparkling bastard," Haruka grumbled under breath, while tucking Usagi in their makeshift bed on their living room floor.

"Mumbling to yourself?" Michiru asked teasingly, leaning over the couch for a kiss.

"No," Haruka huffed, even if she was lying. "Hey, Michi-chan, I was thinking of something we could do for the princess. Something fun that'll get her cheered up and maybe forget about this whole thing for a bit."

Michiru looked at her suspiciously. "What exactly is it, koi?"

"Well…I ran across this advertisement asking for some girls to audition for a reality show…"

She and Michiru went back and forth on the topic, discussing pros and cons, how Usagi might react to it, and eventually that it was just a bit of fun and might even serve to help Usagi a little. So when morning came and Usagi was up and yawning from her makeshift bed, Haruka retrieved her to bring her into the kitchen.

"What's up, Haruka?" she asked sleepily.

"We want to bring something up to you…"

Needless to say, what they had to talk about quickly made her alert and wide awake.

"EHHH?! HARUKA! MICHIRU-SAN! A REALITY SHOW?"

Brad Crawford was very displeased at the moment. His team, lately, had spent more than their certain expenditure and were even somewhat in debt. Takatori had been on his ass to do something about it and find a way to recoup the money loss, but it was hard when Schuldich continued to buy packs and packs of his cigarettes and he had to keep paying damage control when it came to Nagi and Farfarello.

"Hey, Crawford! I might have broken a lamp when I got upset watching –" He sighed and filtered out Schuldich's voice, focusing on the computer and looking around for good ventures to get money and quickly at that.

His teammates were going to drive him insane.

"Crawford, did you hear me –" Schuldich was by the entrance to his room now and Crawford looked up, glasses flashing menacingly.

"I suggest you remove yourself from my room, Schuldich," he said coolly, which was deceiving in how calm he was, when he was really irritated at that point with everyone in the mansion.

The red head paused before backing away slowly out of his room. He took a deep breath and went back to focusing on his computer, running across an ad that had caught his eye. He grimaced at it though, after reading the whole thing. Still…he used his Sight to see into the future and frowned a little, before it grew to a small smirk.

It wasn't ideal, but it could work. And he had experience in charming women (and some men) through the honeypot missions he'd been on, not to mention he'd become a superb actor through the years. He could handle this, especially if he treated it like a mission.

Within moments, he'd gone on to fill out the application form and then sent it off, waiting for his call to an audition and hopefully on to meet an entertaining bunny in time.

If nothing else, he would be entertained and away from his teammates in doing this.

Usagi couldn't believe she was agreeing to this. She was going to go on a reality show. If she did this con with this other guy then she would have half a million dollars. Half a million dollars to convince her family and friends that she fell in love with this guy on a reality show and have their blessings for the wedding.

When Haruka and Michiru had first told her about the reality show promotion, she'd totally laughed her butt off and thought they were pulling her leg in an effort to cheer her up. However, though they were trying to cheer her up, they had been serious in talking to her about the show. At first she'd been hesitant, but as they talked, the more she listened.

It was supposed to be for fun, get her to loosen up and forget about Mamoru for a bit. Maybe even make him jealous, once the show aired. And well, she'd be earning herself and her family a lot of money if she was successful with this. She could use it for a lot of things, especially college, as she doubted she had enough brain cells and smarts to earn herself a scholarship or some kind of extra funds to put her through more schooling (she couldn't believe she actually wanted to though).

So, together, they had helped Usagi apply for the show and after an audition, Usagi was now there in the studio and awaiting to start.

"Morning, Tsukino-san! I am Matsunai Ruriko," the host of the show bowed to her and she remembered her manners and bowed back, while recalling this was a famous LME idol-singer. "Tsukino-san! Please introduce yourself to our viewers."

Usagi blushed slightly and turned to the nearest camera, bowing again before she straightened up.

"H-hello! I'm Tsukino Usagi, 17, and just out of high school. I am hoping to win enough money for college and to help my family, especially since I've been such a huge slob and glutton around them all these years," she laughed nervously. "Please take care of me," she bowed again.

"We hope you'll succeed, Tsukino-san," Ruriko smiled at her. "Now let's bring out the bishounen!"

Six handsome men were brought out, all with various hair colors and eyes, but all very handsome and making Usagi go into dreamy mode for a moment. She also felt a quiet vindication against Mamoru, laughing in her head about being surrounded by pretty men currently, while Mamoru was off doing who knows what without her.

"Like them?" Ruriko smirked, giving her a wink.

"They're all so handsome," Usagi sighed, smiling widely.

"Then I'm sorry to say they won't be the fiancé you're waiting for! They're actually our producers! Please meet Suoh Tamaki, Ootori Kyoya, Hitachiin Hikaru and Kaoru, Morinozuka Takashi, and last but not least our very own Haninozuka Honey!"

Usagi almost face palmed at that, but kept a smile in place.

"Hello!" she greeted them, bowing politely.

They all gave her wonderful smiles she gave another dreamy smile at and wished her luck, before they left and Ruriko announced her fiancé was ready and about to come out.

She waited with baited breath as she waited with the host for her fiancé. She couldn't believe that none of the bishies that were there earlier were going to be her fiancé, but she could at least hope her fellow 'con artist' would be similarly or at least nearly as attractive as the producers of the show. However, she did indeed forget about those men as soon as she saw the one guy who was going to play the role of her partner.

"Usagi, meet Bradley Crawford!"

A-an American? She recognized the style of his name and the way it was said, rather than the traditional Japanese way of surname first. But wow, was he good-looking!

The host beside her smirked again, but Usagi just gaped at the man coming out of the curtains. He had dark blue hair, eyes that were golden-brown, and he had the most beautiful masculine face on a man she had ever seen. In all truth, he looked absolutely gorgeous.

He walked toward her with a casual grace and he smiled at her when he was at arms length. "Konnichi wa. Watashi wa Crawford Bradley desu ka. It's a pleasure to meet you." He bowed towards her and she closed her mouth slowly, gazing at him through dreamy eyes.

Oh! And he spoke such fluent Japanese! He knew how to introduce himself properly too.

"Wa-wa-watashi wa Tsukino Usagi desu ka. I return that pleasure…" She gave a weak smile. She was going to be his fiancé?

This was going to be easy. Not only did she have a handsome "fiancé," but also he looked like the kind of guy who could pull this off. That $250,000 was theirs.

INTERVIEWS

In the interview room, after the introduction episode and the initial meet and greet of the leads of the show, Ruriko had Usagi sit down in front of the camera before beginning to question her.

"Do you think you can do this?" Ruriko smiled friendly at her.

Usagi returned that smile widely. "Yes! I believe that this will be easy. Saaa. Crawford-san looks…" An uncontrollable blush burned through her cheeks at the thought of him. It was almost like when she first met Tuxedo Ka –

She stopped her thoughts right there.

Ruriko's smile grew then and almost seemed predatory. "Lovely. You think he's good enough to eat, right?"

Usagi's eyes widened and she blushed even more, avoiding looking at the host but glancing nervously at the camera. "I-I-I…um…yes…?"

Like she knew how to handle that question and answer properly! Plus, eventually her family and friends would see this footage too, right?

Ruriko's predatory smile seemed even more obvious, which put Usagi on edge. "That's even lovelier. So, what are your feelings on accepting this challenge?"

She almost shrugged. "I don't really know? I guess I feel excited and scared at the same time. I mean I'm excited at the aspect of doing something so…daring. And I'm scared because I'm not sure if I can do this."

Ah geez, could she really? She really sucked at acting in her opinion, despite how she used to always use her disguise pen a lot.

"What do you think of Bradley Crawford so far? Other than his looks of course…" Ruriko hummed playfully.

Usagi bit her lip. "He's…he seems sophisticated. I like how he seems to have this confident air around him. And he seems to know what he's doing. Unlike me who's just going to go with the flow," she turned rather shy at that, regaining a flush on her face again.

"Thank you, Tsukino-san. We'll tune in next time with your next interview."

Once Usagi had left the interview room, Ruriko waited until she got the all clear and then faced the camera with a devilish look on her face.

"Tsukino-san doesn't know we've hired an 'actor' to play her fiancé. There is always a catch. Bradley Crawford will do everything he can to annoy, irritate, and make her hate him for the next 5 days before the truth is known. That means he has to make things hard for Tsukino-san! Things just got a lot more interesting, guys! With a great body and face, he should be the perfect fiancé. And with his entrance, Tsukino-san definitely thinks so. However, first meetings can be deceiving, as we all know."

Crawford adjusted his tie before he was led into the interview room. From there, he was put in front of the camera and settled for wearing a smirk on his face, pushing up his glasses. So far, he was having a good time and found that he'd already become rather relaxed. This was as best a vacation as he could get, as well as the fact he would be getting paid for it. It almost made him want to laugh. Almost, that is.

"As you know," he spoke smoothly, "I have to basically make things impossible for Miss Tsukino. I have to make it hard to believe that I'm her fiancé. She has no idea what I'm really there for and that I'm an actor. And I can't have her find out either, until we hit the 5th day mark and when we bring her into the act. Let's just say…ganbatte, right? Wish me luck," he finished off charmingly, accompanied by a charming smile.

FINIS INTERVIEWS

After that, the two of them had to follow Ruriko into a limo and were driven from the studio and to the place they would be living in while filming and getting ready to fool family and friends both. Once in front of it though, Usagi gaped at the mansion she was looking at from the bottom of the hill they had parked for a moment as Ruriko called the producers to let them know they'd arrived.

This was the place they were going to stay at? No way…

After Ruriko was done, they got back into the limo and drove up a road that would lead to where the mansion was, and Usagi was so overwhelmed by everything, she hadn't even said anything to her partner. In front of the mansion, she barely managed to not gape. They entered the place and they started the tour immediately enough.

One month later, in the Koneko Sumi Ie, Hidaka Ken couldn't believe his eyes. All he'd wanted was to find a show to put on while he ate dinner in front of the TV, and instead ran across this show. And what a surprise he got! What the hell was the leader of Schwarz doing on a reality show?! And not just any reality show, a mockup of a dating one and so not suited to the man's usual stoic personality.

Again, Crawford, one of Weiss's current enemies was on a reality show?! Ken didn't know whether to laugh or scream…Unfortunately for him, he had spilled the popcorn he was going to eat after dinner, when he had scrambled up and went closer to the screen. What was lucky for him was that the others weren't there. But that still didn't mean he could have his face glued to the TV like this, in disbelief and incredulity!

But come on! Brad Crawford was on a reality show.

"Kami, I think I must've died during a mission and must be imagining things…"

Revised/Edited 7/25/16 – Completed 7/25/16

(8/1/16) A/N: So hullo, I've gone and revised all of this~ Originally, I had this whole story finished, but lost all of my chapters, except the ones that I'd already published due to my computer crashing ages ago, which got me to lose my interest in the story for a long time. Nostalgia and other SMxWK stories have gotten me back into it, but it's got a complete makeover from the original way it was written. One, my style was old, not completely fleshed out, and I was young when I wrote it. So you can find the original on my newer, streamlined reading site.

So changes:

1. More fleshed out and detailed, so longer chapters.

2. Different tone overall since this was originally a crack!fic, but now (while there's still humor), it's a little less crazy and more serious, and hopefully less OOC now that it's not a a crack!fic.

3. New writing style because of number 2 and because I'm older and have a surer and more mature writing style and that's more developed from over the years.

4. Less Japanese word usage, unless it's inserted purposely –except honorifics, epithets, etc. Proper Japanese names I personally believe should be used, and honorifics in particular are especially important in Japanese culture, so I'm sticking with them.

5. I changed the host's name and who she is to a minor Skip Beat! Character. However, this won't really crossover to Skip Beat or to Ouran Highschool Host Club (the producers who replace the random 'bishounen' from before), but there may be cameos later on.

6. This may be based off of the original SM anime, but I might be more influenced and write a little along the lines of Crystal because it's fresher in my mind.

7. Also, that whole scene with Usagi and Mamoru and then Usagi and Haruka/Michiru was added to help expand on why Usagi get on the show, and I decided to give it a reason and also explain why Usagi wasn't with Mamoru, etc.

8. Crawford's scene in this chapter in getting onto the show has been added, and the reason changed up a little.

9. Changed summary to reflect the newish version of the story, as well as putting the story back to SM X-overs because it's a little more active than the SMxWK section.

I hope everyone enjoyed this new version and please take the time to review!