"What if someone you cared about turned out to be someone else?"
"What if someone you loved wasn't who you thought they were?"
"What if the one you thought you knew the most, you really knew the least?"
"Never."
I never thought these kinds of questions would someday apply to me as much as they did. I had considered things like these time and time again, at different stages of my life, about different people...but never about him. It was just impossible to me; there was no way something like this could be reality. He was the one I thought would never hurt me, though I guess I really am just a naive child for thinking such crazy things.
How long has it been like this? How long have I been imprisoned here? Alone and deprived of freedom, my senses gone and my hopes shattered like fragile glass. Even when I hear his voice, feel his presence around me, it's cold. The warmth I once felt from him has been replaced with an aching presentiment. A wandering fear of whatever torture he has planned for me.
"Aoba-san…"
No...
"You're beautiful..."
No.
"I love you."
No!
Every word he says sends an unpleasant chill down my spine. A feeling I could only call consternation envelops me and I am too afraid to even cry when he's around. Last time I did, it agitated him to the point of a nervous breakdown. His screams were so painful that I couldn't stand to listen to them… I hate hearing him in that state. I hate thinking about what he was going through. I hate him.
I hate him…
I hate him.
I hate him!
Nothing in the world can ever change that. No sweet words, and no faux apologies. Why did this have to happen, and why to me? As much as I hate to think it… I wish it happened to someone else. To Koujaku, or Grandma, or those little brats on my street… Anyone but me! I felt the tears slip out, and soon realized I was crying. Unable to stop it, I let it happen. Just this once, I would hear the sounds of my own voice, of my own cries. I don't know how long it's been since I've let my emotions take me.
I don't even remember having emotions…
All I am is a doll… A bird with it's wings clipped.
I want to die.
I don't know how long I stayed like that, the tears falling pitifully from my eyes and staining the blindfold that restrained my vision before I finally heard that dreaded sound. The click of the steel doors opening. I tried to choke back my cries before he approached. I couldn't let this happen… I couldn't cry in front of him…
"Ao-ba-san~"
I bit my lip, feeling my body tremble in response to hearing my name being called in a sing-song voice. I could hear the click of his shoes on the ground, and I made a futile attempt to scoot away. It wasn't worth it though, this was my horrible fate, and if I have the chance to think it, even once more...
I love him.
Even in this state, I love him.
Forever.