Fandom: The Avengers (2012), Captain America (2011)
Word count: 2478
Characters/Pairings: Tony/Pepper/Bruce, Steve/Bucky/Peggy
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: polyphobia, forties ideas about sexuality
Summary: Misunderstandings lead to Steve getting a punch to the face and a revelation.
Brooklyn, 1944
"Hey," Bucky says, "hey, c'mon, it's going to be all right," because Steve has started to cry now, like his humiliation wasn't complete before, and he puts his hands on Steve's shoulders. Steve looks up, into Bucky's clear eyes, a few rays of afternoon sun slipping past the bedroom curtains to set one side of his face aglow.
Something must have changed in Steve's face, because Bucky says "hey," again, but softer, and his hands move up to cup Steve's face, and he leans in and kisses Steve, and Steve kisses back, feeling his pulse fluttering against Bucky's strong hands.
He stops after a little bit, and looks at Bucky, whose face is uncomfortably close. "But," he says, "you like girls, you've gone out with them lots of times-" his mind summons them up, the spirited redheads who'd ruffle his hair and call him kiddo.
"Well, yeah," says Bucky, "who doesn't like girls," and Steve thinks, me, but he doesn't say anything, and Bucky is going to leave eventually, to the army, to a flame-haired wife, to places Steve can't follow.
Stark Tower, 2012
Steve certainly didn't mean to walk in on Pepper Potts and Bruce Banner. It's just that Stark Tower- no, the Avengers tower now- is so incredibly big and confusing, and even though he had carefully remembered the floor number Tony had told him to go to, that didn't help him much when he walked out of the swishing elevator doors and into a warren of offices and conference rooms.
Regardless of intent, he has walked in on them, and now he can't stop his eyes from sliding down from Bruce's tousled hair to his unbuttoned shirt, over to Pepper's undone tie and the way she's smiling. He's sitting on a desk, leaning back, and she's standing so close to him, leaning forward. They look like a picture of a predatory office exec and an ingenue secretary.
Steve says, quietly, "Excuse me." They freeze, startled, and turn their heads to stare at him in surprise. Steve can feel himself turning pale. For some reason, he's getting very angry.
"Hi, Steve," Bruce says, picking his glasses up from where they'd been carefully placed in a pencil jar and pushing them up on his nose. This doesn't do that much for his image of respectability; his hair is still sticking up at odd angles, his shirt open down to the middle of his chest.
Pepper pushes her own long hair back behind her ears. She's looking at Steve calmly, like she's waiting for the hammer to fall.
"What are you doing?" It explodes from Steve in a rush of air and disgust.
There's a moment of silence, then Pepper says, "That really isn't any of your business, is it, Steve?"
Steve sighs, and runs his hand over his face. "Normally, no. But Tony's my friend. He's your best friend!" That last directed towards Bruce, who flinches. Like kicking a puppy, but Steve can't stop now. "It's kind of my business that his best friend and his, his partner are sneaking around behind his back, because I care about him and don't want him to get hurt."
Bruce starts polishing his glasses. Steve's trained to notice tiny details, so he sees Bruce's hands shaking. Steve tenses. He can't tell if Bruce is upset or angry. Angry would be- not good.
Pepper's noticed too. She looks at him with tender concern, then back at Steve. "You idiot," she says, hurt and scornful, "you- look, Tony knows."
Steve can't stop what he's sure is an expression of horrified revulsion. Pepper's face changes too. Bruce doesn't look up- he's still polishing his glasses with a corner of his undone purple shirt. Steve backs out the door, then turns and- not runs, walks very fast- and doesn't stop until he's inside the elevator.
Why am I getting so angry about this? Steve wonders, watching the numbers light up. Is there a personal reason? Is it because I think I stole the girl Bucky wanted?
1945, NYC
The first time Steve sees Peggy Carter, his whole world changes.
She smiles at him, a secret friendly smile, and he wants to bring her the world, or as much of it as a ninety-pound guy can carry, anyway.
And then the experiment happens and everything changes. In the way the world looks at him, and in the way Bucky looks at him. And it's not like one of his teenage fantasies. It's more like a nightmare, one of the strange ones where you look in a mirror and watch your skin warping and twisting until you can't even recognize the monster you've become.
And the only thing that doesn't change is Peggy's secret smile, and eventually he figures it out: she doesn't see anything in him now that she didn't see before.
That's enough to make any man fall in love.
Bucky watches him watching her, and cracks jokes and elbows him and takes him out to bars and reads his fan mail and fights at his back, a strong warm presence no less large now that Steve's the big one. Bucky falls.
The way he looked at Peggy sometimes, or talked about her- what a woman, they broke the mold when they made that girl Steve-
Bucky falls.
2012, Stark Tower
"Hey," says Tony, in that quick, tongue-tripping way of his, grabbing Steve by the arm hard enough to be painful and steering him into the gym, "Steve, man, hey, we need to talk."
"We probably do," Steve agrees, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.
He looks like Howard, this strange swift man with Howard's dark eyes and Howard's drinking habits, but he isn't really like the man Steve knew at all; where Howard was water, his son is fire, never standing still, never silent, always crackling away.
So Steve almost isn't surprised by the fist connecting with his jaw. He rolls with the punch, spins and tries to kick Tony's legs from under him, but Tony's too fast, he aims another strong punch at Steve's stomach. Steve falls to his knees, doubled up, unwilling to fight when he knows he could seriously hurt Tony. Tony stands there shaking his hand up and down and wincing.
"Mind telling me what this is about?" Steve asks mildly.
Tony leans down, grabs Steve's shoulders, lifts and slams him into the hard wall of the gym. It takes a lot of effort; Tony's panting and sweaty, but the look in his eyes tells Steve he's perfectly willing to drag this on all day.
The thought of that is actually terrifying.
In the two weeks since Steve first met Tony Stark, they have gotten into a fistfight five times. Kind of inevitable if you stick Tony and Steve in the same building for a long time, Steve supposes; Avengers Tower is where he's been sleeping, since it's rather nicer and more convenient than his former SHIELD quarters.
Usually it happens in the gym; one of them will walk in on the other exercising, and it will only seem natural to try and test their skills against each other. Most of the time it feels friendly- yeah, friendly really is the right word; like they're both trying to be friends with each other and this is the easiest way for them to bridge that gap which at times seems impossible to cross.
Steve has to be pretty careful with Tony, because the superhuman strength isn't something he can turn off or take off like Tony's suit; but really that only adds to the challenge. He'd also brought up the idea of teaching Tony some of the things he learned in the army; Tony hadn't seemed that interested, probably because he was so obsessed with the Iron Man suit and the feeling of invulnerability it no doubt offered.
This doesn't feel like any of the previous times. Steve says, "Hey," and then "Tony. Stop it." Before I have to hurt you, he adds silently.
Tony stares at him for a moment, then slowly releases Steve's shoulders. Steve blinks. Tony turns away.
There's a biting, mean current in the air, and Steve slowly closes his hands into fists, bends them out again, breathes out.
He and Bucky used to roughhouse like this, and he remembers (he remembers everything) how when they were really angry with each other over something stupid (that seemed so important at the time) he would take a swing at Bucky that was full of meanness and venom, and sometimes he might even give Bucky a black eye, if he put enough effort into it, and Bucky would almost- almost- punch back, but then he'd take that deep breath and relax and it would make Steve even angrier because he knew that Bucky could knock him into next week if he didn't hold back.
"Haven't seen you down here much lately," says Tony, and Steve is too tired to try and figure out what he really means, so he just says,
"Yeah, I've been busy."
"Doing what?" says Tony, fast and sharp like always. "Eating cheeseburgers? Writing sad poems in your diary?"
Now the anger's welling up too fast and Steve can't keep it down because it's not just anger, it's confusion and pain, because this world is all wrong and nothing works like it should and Tony shouldn't be angry at him, he should be angry at Pepper and Bruce because what do they think they're doing- "What, like you when you lock yourself in your lab with a bottle of Jack?"
"You don't know what you're talking about, Rogers-"
"Really? I think I do." Steve walks up to Tony, fingers push into Tony's chest and Tony takes a step back. He's really so weak without the armor. "I've known a lot of alcoholics, Tony, and you know what? They were always drinking because they couldn't deal with the real world. With their problems."
"Oh?" says Tony. He almost sounds interested now, like he's really getting into what's turning out to be a full-fledged fight. "And what are my problems, oh all-knowing Captain, since you've got everything so figured out?"
"You really want me to say it?" asks Steve.
"Yeah, I think I do," says Tony.
"You drink so much because you can't stand watching your girlfriend fool around right in front of you for sadistic kicks or something!"
This time, the punch is entirely expected, but that doesn't make it any less painful, because this time Tony goes for his teeth.
1945: Italy
Bucky's here and alive and Steve still can't quite believe it. "I can," says Bucky. "I knew you could do it. Never had any doubt." The terrifying part is, Steve thinks he's telling the truth.
The flap on the tent where they're hiding from the nurses opens, and Peggy sticks her head in. "Hey," she says. She holds something up. "Look what I've got."
"Is that actual brandy?" Bucky says in awe. "Miss Carter, you're an angel. I could kiss you."
"I'd rather you didn't," she said, laughing and stepping all the way into the tent. "Your breath probably stinks. No, I've got a better idea." She darted over to them and pressed a quick kiss to Bucky's cheek. He turned red almost immediately, and Steve was reminded of the way life looked returning to a limb after one had been swimming too early in the year, the way he and Bucky had done all the time as kids.
"Hey," said Steve, "now I feel left out."
"Aw, I'm sorry, Steve," says Bucky, and Steve can hear it in his voice, how punch-drunk and dangerously happy he is, and then Bucky's leaning over and his lips are touching Steve's skin, and he stills, and the only two things in the world are the feeling of Bucky's kiss on Steve's cheek and the way Peggy is watching, a light shining in her eyes.
2012: Midtown, Manhattan
"So," says Steve, staring down into his coffee (black, American, a dash of milk), "you and Pepper and Bruce are all dating each other."
"Basically," says Tony, downing another espresso.
"And I'm the last one to figure it out."
"Yes."
"And you're in a very happy, fulfilling relationship."
"Oh yes," says Tony, and Steve can hear the smirk in his voice. Bastard.
"I am so sorry," says Steve miserably.
"Good," says Tony. "Now go say that to Pepper and Bruce. I'm going to come with you to make sure you grovel properly. And Steve." His tone shifts, low and dark and kind of scary. "Say whatever shit you want about my habits, but if you say anything about Bruce and Pep again, I swear I will properly mess up that All-American face."
He leans back, winces a bit, rubs his own jaw.
"Sorry about that too," says Steve. He's moving his spoon around his cup now, watching the black liquid eddy and flow. "It was just instinct. I don't react well to getting my teeth punched out."
"You deserved it," says Tony.
"Probably," says Steve.
There's another long silence.
"But don't you get jealous of each other? And how do you arrange dates? And why- I mean, it's just so weird, and-"
"Steve," Tony says, "are you looking to lose all your teeth?"
"Okay," says Steve. "Okay, I'll shut up now."
"Save your voice for the groveling," Tony advises.
That night, Steve stays up late in the gym, and wrecks fifteen punching bags.
Pepper had accepted his apology graciously, a bit embarrassed by Tony's still simmering anger. Bruce hadn't said anything, but at least he hadn't polished his glasses.
Hopefully, they hadn't lost all their respect for him. Or at least, if they had, he could maybe build it back up over time.
He feels his fist collide with the bag and heard Peggy singing quietly to herself, like she thought no one could hear, singing Scarborough Fair- stepped back and onto the stage and the blinding lights and the only face he could see in that sea was Bucky's, washed out by the big lights, eyes so dark and sparkling in that pale face- closes his eyes, and stretches out his hands, and almost, almost feels them taken, palms against palms, fingers intertwined, heat and laughter and swing music.
Steve falls to the floor and when he reaches up a hand to wipe sweat out of his eyes, they're hot and burning and wet with more than perspiration.
It's the first time he's cried in seventy years.
Why don't we all lay down on the green grass,
Watch the sun paint on our faces
Yeah we should all lay down in the green grass,
Watch the clouds paint up the sky.
-Gaia Consort, Face in the Clouds. You can find lyrics, streaming and mp4 on their website.