The autumn chill bit hard into his weary flesh.
It was enough to make Izuku want to curse, but he lacked the energy for even that. His steps were slow, the exhaustion mixing with the cold, making his breathing shallow. The world had closed in on him, giving him little room to maneuver and breathe.
But there was a light at the end of that tunnel, faint though it may be.
He finally arrived at his apartment and took a desperate lungful of air. The aches of his limbs cried out for attention, the siren call of the couch becoming too much to ignore. He quickly stripped off his outer jacket and burst into a brief sprint, collapsing onto the plush comfort of the couch cushions.
Izuku stayed like that for a while, closing his eyes, letting his mind fade into nothingness. There was a figment of peace at this moment, a lifeline of respite he could grasp. Everything was fine. He had helped people today, and he could rest now. Tomorrow was a long way away.
The emptiness of his home did not have to haunt him.
With a sigh, he stood up and stretched, his sore muscles aching. He busied himself with the monotony of flicking on the lights and starting on a bowl of instant ramen.
He lacked the energy to muster effort into his meal. The noodles lacked flavour, but they were pleasantly warm as he slurped them down his throat. It was enough to get him by for an evening, anyway.
He walked over to the couch, his eyes glancing over the photos in the wall of his living room. There were a few of his friends and former classmates. His mother and All Might too. But he frowned at the face he did not see. The face he could not bear a reminder of.
Izuku flicked on the television in front of him as he continued to scarf down his noodles.
"...on the streets once again. All twenty people in the building were rescued in time thanks to his timely efforts."
He frowned and changed the channel. He needed no reminder of today's events.
An image of three people around a tightly packed table in a studio, one of them wildly flailing his arms.
"There can be no doubt. This is the list where Deku finally breaks into the top-five!"
He changed the channel again.
There he was. Standing tall, muscles rippling beneath his costume, striking a pose with his fists at his hips. He beamed for the camera, his smile almost blinding. He could hardly recognize himself.
"...Thankfully, heroes and emergency officials responded well. It was a good team effort!"
His false bravado was almost convincing. He flexed his thumb to change the channel again, but the next question gave him pause.
"You've been seen more solo over the past few weeks. Uravity has not been around you. Do you have any comment on the rumours that you two have broken up?"
In unison, he and his television counterpart furrowed their mouths into a deep frown.
But whereas Izuku sunk deeper into the minimal comfort of the couch, Deku let out a belly laugh, trying to throw people off from seeing between the cracks in his facade.
"The gossip scene is working hard as ever. Well, I'll say what I always do: I don't comment on my personal life and I speak even less about the personal lives of others."
Did he have to sound that unbelievable? Nobody knowledgeable in heroes would ever buy that excuse. He should know.
"But what about -"
"I'm sorry, I really must be off. All sorts of paperwork to get to after this, you understand!"
He watched himself zip out of the screen, a fierce gust of wind in his wake. He felt bad about leaving the reporter in an awkward spot, but he had no choice. He would be digging his own grave if he stayed in that interview.
Izuku switched the channel again. A flash of familiar pink caught his eye, staying his thumb. He could not bring himself to change the tormenting lights dancing before him.
There she was, carrying an injured man in her arms, floating downward. She looked so graceful, moving with ease brought of experience. Her face was just barely visible beneath the visor of her helmet, her brown eyes focused on the ground, intent on landing gently. She was just as fierce as she had ever been, with or without him by her side.
"...Uravity also declined comment today after completing a rescue operation."
The camera cut to her standing up close, mimicking how he had appeared on the screen moments before. Her brown locks swayed in the wind, still somehow framing her face perfectly. The sweat on her brow was prominent, but she maintained a calm exterior despite the exhaustion she was likely under.
"I'm not getting into it." She shook her head, making no effort to hide her frown. "That's private."
The reporter's narration cut in, interspersed with more clips of Uravity helping people out of the rubble.
"What this means for Uravity is uncertain. Many have speculated whether being alongside Deku served as a boon to her own popularity. But we will get a better idea when the hero rankings-"
He flicked the switch and let the screen fall to darkness, his desire to avoid the nonsense outweighing his thirst for knowledge. The idea that Uravity was riding his coattails was simply absurd, but it was a narrative the media and hero forums had seized on.
He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, pinching at his temples. His weary limbs ached for the warmth of her touch to soothe him from the cries of the world.
But that could not be. The Symbol of Peace had to walk alone. He gave himself up to the world. It would be unfair to the world, and to her, to stretch himself any thinner.
The name she had changed would mark him forever. But their years of love were for naught against the ocean of villainy.
Izuku and Ochako could not be together while Deku and Uravity had a world to save.
A meteor streaked brilliantly across the sky, accentuating the long-perished stars. The world sang his praises, basking in him, as his image inspired their hearts.
"Deku! Deku! Deku!"
As he soared into the icy depths of space, they shouted the heroic name she had gifted him.
He beamed and waved at the crowd, his trademark smile large upon his face. He may be the world's greatest hero, looming on high above the populace, but he could still feel their warmth and adulation.
Deku did not bother blinking out the tears in his eyes. Their joy became his own. The world which had once stomped on his existence now loved him. The gravity of that shook him to his core.
But the cold grip of his shadows caressed him in his moment of triumph. The giants that had lifted him here loomed behind him, their might lifting him to the heavens. The torch they had passed him had taken so much sacrifice.
None of them were with him now. He had friends, family, and a world full of admirers. But his heart ached with untold loneliness, the weight of the world pushing him down as much as it lifted him up.
He wondered if this was how his predecessor felt. Was this feeling what it meant to be the world's greatest?
But as he looked out at the faces of the world, he knew this was an existence he would willingly bear. The Symbol of Peace was a lonely post, but if it meant happiness for them, he would gladly stand by it.
Izuku glanced backwards to the rest of the stage. His eyes wandered past the fuming Bakugo, the melancholic Todoroki, the polite applause of Tenya. His eyes fell on her, standing toward the end of the stage, clapping along with the rest of the world at the new number one.
Uravity had soared higher than anyone imagined, reaching number eight on the hero charts. She had beamed at the crowd as brightly as he had ever seen her, earning more applause than most of the heroes ahead of her. She too was amongst the stars now, enveloped by love, her light plastered on merchandise around the world.
Their eyes met. She gave him a familiar grin, this one meant just for him. Electricity sparked across his heart. His mind was suddenly pulled back into the pits of time, reminded of the day he had first fallen and glimpsed that smile. He blinked at her, just as nervous and confused as back then.
She had saved him from faltering that day. How much had that happened since they first met? How many times had he leaned on her? How often had she saved him?
Uravity was one with the power to lift anything to the skies, and she had certainly done that for him.
He had paid her back by casting her aside. But his gambit had worked. They both reached the pinnacle. The world's embrace blanketed them both in its warmth, while they acted as pillars to keep the world afloat.
Despite the millions of people he now held aloft, his hand longed for only one touch.
The branches of the trees had become barren as the season wore on, only a few scarce leaves clinging desperately to the branches. It was an ugly sight, so far from the beautiful red hues just a few short weeks ago.
Izuku walked the concrete path alone, his eyes lost amidst the spaces between the once vibrant treetops. How quickly beauty and warmth could fade, replaced by a bareness that reminded him far too much of the place he called home.
The path was devoid of any other signs of life, the stinging cold air scaring most people away this afternoon. It was the early days of real chill, where people were not yet accustomed to the end of summer. People would rather stay indoors, clinging to what warmth they could.
The bouquet of flowers in his arms weighed heavily on him, an artificial bloom amidst the dying leaves. This walk was never pleasant, especially alone, but Izuku felt compelled to make it just the same.
His eyes were focused on just one structure, towering high above the rest. It was fenced off and marked with a large statue, a familiar heroic figure towering above the rest. A rather peculiar monument for a grave, but one the world could hardly help giving their greatest hero.
Izuku made no fanfare as he walked to the monument. It was barren of flowers, but he knew it was cleaned regularly. All Might had no want of visitors, thanking him and hoping to find some inspiration.
He was no better a guest than any, placing the small bouquet gently in the placeholder in front of the grave.
Toshinori Yagi
All Might
1956-2024
Symbol of Peace
"Villainy shall never win
So long as one can stand up for all
Go beyond!"
"Plus Ultra," Izuku muttered in answer to the silent call, before standing up to look at the immortalized visage of his mentor.
"I did it, All Might. I finally made it to number one. I only wish you could have been there to see it. I couldn't have done it without you."
The wind howled around his ears, the petals of his bouquet rustling. There would be no other reply.
"I wonder…" his chilled lips pursed into a frown as he looked up at the larger-than-life image. "How did you feel when you finally got to this point? When you stood alone at the top?"
He sighed deeply as his questions fell to the blowing wind, doomed never to be answered.
"My hero agency is doing really well, too. There's a lot of great people I'm so proud of. And our class has really climbed fast, too. Kacchan is number two! He's still trying to surpass me every day."
He would always start rambling on in front of this statue. He was not sure why, but it was comforting. There was a nostalgia to it; it reminded him of his childhood when he so often had naught but the image of his hero to talk to.
"...Uraraka made it to number eight. She's…she's doing well too. She's been a lot better off since the split, I think."
Her name was strained on his tongue, the weight of the memories associated surging forward to pain him as he spoke.
"You never discouraged me from being with her."
The two of them, on their first date, awkward and fumbling. Fainting when it ended with a kiss. Waking to see All Might there, beaming.
"But I didn't see how I could anymore."
Stumbling through their shared apartment, muscles aching, eyes reddened with the tears of lost life. Her soft fingertips lifting him effortlessly. Finding solace with her in a nest of sheets and blankets.
"I made it to my dream. Every day, I am rewarded by the smiling faces of the people I help. It's what I always wanted, ever since I saw you."
Her smile towards him on the stage. His heart thrumming and his face flushing. She was so close, and yet a world away.
"So why do I feel this way? What would you do?"
The rush of the wind was his only answer. Scattered autumn leaves blew around in the air. One floated within arm's reach, and on an impulse, he grabbed hold of it.
It had a glorious red plumage, flaring wonderfully in its death. Its end was its most beautiful moment, even as it was cast aside from a tree's ritual of renewal. He took a moment to appreciate it: one of a kind, one of many.
He let it float gently to the ground, to become one with the Earth once more. It could be part of new life someday. There was hope in that.
"Midoriya?"
His eyes widened in shock as he spun around. There she was, adorned in a fluffy pink coat, holding her own bouquet of flowers and a small purse. She was stunning, as always.
It had been so long since he had talked to her.
"Ocha...Uraraka?" Izuku replied, catching his tongue on her first name. Old habits die hard. "What are you doing here?"
She glanced down at the flowers in her own hands, before moving her eyes back to his. She managed a small smile that made his heart beat just a little harder. "Same thing as you. I wanted to come and thank him."
She stepped forward and walked past him. Izuku felt the barest hint of something hit his heart as she trudged past him. Fear? Longing?
He watched as she stepped forward to lay her bouquet in a placeholder by the grave. She looked up at the statue, putting her hands together and closing her eyes. She remained still for a couple of minutes while Izuku watched, frozen in the cold air. She nodded and smiled silently, before springing back up.
"So…" she trailed off, approaching him with a warm smile. "Do you want to go get a coffee?"
He knew it could be the death of him. But how could he refuse?
"You should have seen how much all the fansites exploded that day!"
"Oh?"
"'Uravity pulled 20 people out of water at once and it was the coolest thing ever!'" Izuku enthusiastically recounted, pitching his voice down an octave to imitate one of the many reaction videos he saw out that day. "People were flipping out! And then when you ended that villain's monologue with one punch right after!"
Her soft laughter was nostalgic music to his ears. "I can't believe that was already a year ago."
"Time sure flies," Izuku agreed, taking a sip from his cup.
It was the most exquisite torture, being alone with her again. They fell easily into an imitation of their friendship. It stirred powerfully warm feelings within him, but the walls between them made those emotions hurt. Still, he enjoyed reminiscing about their exploits.
Of course, they had kept in touch over the years since they separated. Group outings made sure of that, and there were some events even buried feelings could not come between.
"How are your folks holding up since the move?" Izuku asked with a smile, recalling the joyous celebration when Ochako achieved her dream.
"Quite well, thank you," Ochako replied, the mention of her parents making her beam. "I actually convinced them to take a world tour. They just got into New York."
She pulled out her phone and quickly tapped her fingers onto it, swiping them across the screen. She held it out to him, showing an image of two elderly-looking people smiling for the camera, Statue of Liberty looming distantly in the background.
"Oh wow! That's awesome!"
"It is," she replied softly, pulling the phone back into her lap and smiling at the picture. "That they're able to do this…it's all I've ever dreamed of."
"I'm happy for them. For you."
There was a beat of silence between them as they both sipped their coffee in unison, the conversation starting to peter out. As their energy faltered, the walls seemed to loom ever higher between them.
"Hey...Deku?"
Izuku's ears perked at her old nickname for him. She had stopped referring to him that way since they parted, both of them choosing to regard each other with an icy formality.
"What is it?" he asked, glancing up to focus on her face. Her gorgeous smile had set, replaced with a serious frown that reminded him of darker days.
"Can I…" she stopped herself, taking a bracing breath. "I just...do you ever...do you ever think about when we were together anymore?"
His heart flew into a rushing freefall. He gulped in the wake of the poisonous question, poised to eviscerate his insides.
"Sometimes," he managed, darting his eyes to stare firmly at the tabletop. He was pretty sure looking at her face right now would end him.
There was another beat of deathly silence between them. Izuku tensed and he started trying to calculate a strategic excuse to end this conversation. Maybe he could quickly text someone from his agency, get them to call so he could have an escape.
As his hand moved to the phone in his pocket, Ochako spoke again.
"...I...I want to try something, Deku. But I need your help. Would...would you?"
He had to strain his ears to hear her over the bustle of the cafe around him. Her voice was so vulnerable and a part of him, small but growing louder by the second, desperately wanted to do everything in his power to bring her good spirits back.
"What is it?" It was the best answer he could manage.
"I need you to look at me. Then close your eyes." There was a spark of fierceness in her voice. It scared him.
Izuku dared to look up. Her eyes held a blazing intensity, the war face she wore contrasting strangely with the casual setting. She was leaning slightly over the table as if preparing to attack him. Or worse.
His brain shut down. Her eyes captivated him. He did not know what was happening, but he nodded. His body moved on autopilot, his eyes shutting closed, bracing himself for the worst.
The world seemed to fade around his eardrums. He could hear his heart, beating intensely. A screech of metal against tile. The table, moving slightly. A breath against his lips.
The press of lips to cheek.
An electric shock coursed through his system. He tensed at the familiar feeling of flesh on flesh and the memories that surged with it.
It was soft and innocent like the chaste kisses of their youth, products of the lovely fumbling of two clueless children. This kiss was most like that, but it stirred within him the passion he had done his best to suppress.
The familiar feeling of her lips somehow reminded him of the inferno that could rage between them, when love and desperation mixed together, nerve endings becoming live wires, threatening to turn him into a happy pile of ash.
In that endless instant, Izuku experienced the ferocity of a thousand such moments buried in his mind. It froze him in place, the fire burning him into a stony stillness.
She departed him again. He kept his eyes closed for a moment. There was no bliss when he finally opened his eyes; only a downcast woman, cheeks just a little rosier.
He wanted to say something meaningful, or witty, or anything to assuage her, but he found himself paralyzed. He could not give her the answers he did not know himself.
"I'm sorry, Deku. That must have been awkward for you. I...this was a bad idea, I don't know why…" she looked into his eyes, her mouth curling further downward. "I was being ridiculous."
It occurred to him she might be thinking he did not like what just transpired. Which, he realized, may not actually be inaccurate.
"I…Uraraka, I'm sorry but...I don't know."
He felt a strong urge to whack his own head for failing to speak anything more than that. The right words would not come.
"That's fine, Izuku. It wasn't fair of me to hope otherwise." She lifted her head up, her mouth twisting around into something resembling a smile. It was fake, he knew. But he lacked the courage to call it out.
"You know, all this time, even as we both kept climbing to the top, a part of me was always wondering. If I could have done something differently. If it was worth it, in the end. So many nagging questions."
"Me too. Uraraka…"
"But I didn't let that get in the way. I was never going to let my feelings get in the way of me accomplishing my dreams again. And neither were you. And we both did it, didn't we?" She flashed him a more genuine grin. He tried to do the same, but it was warbly, his mouth quivering.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking about where I want my life to be. What I want to work towards now. I'm still not sure." She pulled something small out of her purse and put it forward on the table. Izuku watched, not registering what it was she placed, so focused was he on her every word.
"A long time ago, my dad told me I shouldn't wait for things. If I wanted to make them happen, I had to seize the opportunity. You showed me that, more than anyone. I wouldn't have made it without you, Deku. I...I have to thank you, from the bottom of my heart for that."
He gulped. "You're welcome."
"I was so tired of waiting that I...well, I did something silly, back then. I never stopped holding onto this, you know. But it's weighing me down more and more."
Izuku glanced down at what exactly she had presented before him. His eyes opened wider at the soft, dark green square, a box wrapped in fine material.
"I was going to give you this a while ago, but never had the chance. And after what happened...I just kept it. But I don't think I can keep it anymore. And I don't know why, but I couldn't...I couldn't bring myself to throw it away. It would be like throwing away everything we went through together."
Izuku watched as she sat up higher in her seat, her fist rising up in front of her, her brown eyes blazing.
"And no matter how much it hurts, I never want to forget what we went through together. Even if it wasn't meant to be. Those memories mean a lot to me."
Her figure sagged after her brief burst of energy and she sighed again, looking up at him between her eyelashes.
"They mean a lot to me too, Uraraka. More than I can say."
She smiled at that.
"I'm sorry about all this, I just...I think I needed this. To sort things out. To close this door the last little way. To stop pretending we could be together again."
"Uraraka…?"
"No matter what, Deku, I want to stay friends." She beamed as she stood up, her features flashing brighter than the sun. "I-"
A sharp buzz from her pocket. She instinctively reached in to grab her phone, moving with practised precision. "Now, of all times?"
"What is it? Something happening?" He seized on the tone of her voice, pulling out his own phone to see if there were any emergency alerts. Duty often called at the worst times.
"Agency call. Intern got overzealous on a theft and they need me to run damage control." She groaned, letting herself slack in her chair. "Of all the rotten luck."
"When isn't it?" Deku joked. A frightened, weary part of him was desperately glad for the interruption. This was a conversation he could handle.
"I gotta go," she said, quickly getting up out of her seat and throwing change on the table. "Don't...we…"
She paused as she put her arms into her coat, looking down at his face. He shrunk a little under her gaze, unable to meet it head-on. His head was lost in a raging storm, her stare piercing him like lightning.
"Well, we can pick this up another time, maybe. If you want. See you later, Deku."
Without another word, Uraraka disappeared from his life once again. He watched as her figure disappeared through the doorway, her back growing ever farther away. She was impossible to reach.
Izuku closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose, trying to steady his heart rate. It would do him no good to get upset. He had not dealt with that conversation well. He had not dealt with that kiss well.
He cracked a deprecating smile at his own inadequacy. Maybe he had grown less than he thought.
Being with her had all stirred things deep within him he had been trying to forget. It bubbled into a harsh anxiety as he dared to reach a hand out to the mysterious case in front of him.
Izuku steeled himself against the emotions threatening to burst out of him. No matter how she made him feel, nothing was that simple. There were so many responsibilities he had to consider before even dreaming of rekindling his love. He had to stay logical. It was not meant to be.
He opened the box. He saw the glint of silver and the world faded around him.
Visions burst forward at the sight of the simple, practical, silver ring sitting in the box. Every feeling he had been holding back blasted through the walls erected in his mind.
Ochako walking toward him in a simple, white dress, arm-in-arm with her father.
Dancing with her while their friends and family watched, the rest of the world far away, the distance between them nothing.
Laughing with her on a beach, somewhere tropical, far away from prying eyes and cameras.
Fighting by her side, punching out villains, seamlessly coordinated in every motion.
Taking a baby from her arms, staring down at a tiny little human, his own eyes looking back up at him.
Scrambling to grab a camera as Ochako watched over their child taking her first steps. Ochako's cheery encouragement made the walls of their home sing.
Watching the television, grey-haired, her by his side, reminiscing about their days atop the hero world.
Walking with her, hand in hand, their children close behind. Their friends all waving to them happily, their own kids running around the grassy hills. They reunited under the brilliant colours of the autumn trees.
The images faded into the darkness of his mind. His eyes watered, forcing him to blink out the blurry focus of the world.
The blessed life he had surrendered faded from view. All of it twisted and collapsed into the piece of metal in front of him.
He clutched his right hand to his chest, shaking, feeling his heart racing intensely. He wanted what he imagined more than he could comprehend.
Izuku openly wept, not caring about any of the confused stares he earned by doing so. He wept at the time wasted alone. He wept at the life of possibilities, hanging on by the slimmest of threads. He wept, like that day with All Might so long ago, when the road to a dream once closed opened wide before him.
He reached a shaking hand out to the ring. Could he really take it? Nothing about their circumstances had changed. The world would still try to tear them apart. As the Symbol of Peace, there might be little peace for them. Being together would be very difficult.
Was this something he was really willing to do?
Izuku took another deep breath. He blinked the tears out of his eyes and stared intensely at the ring. Being together might be difficult, but he had faced worse. There was a new dream he desperately wanted in front of him. He had to seize it.
He had to go beyond.
Without thinking further, Izuku paid for his drink and grabbed the box, plunging it into his pocket. He sprinted out of the cafe before causing a stir by leaping up into the sky with his quirk. He had to get to her.
The questions swarmed in the back of the mind, stinging him for this insanity. Did he want this? Could he pay the price? Did he comprehend the sacrifices this would take? Could he commit to being with her?
Did he still love Ochako more than anyone?
I do. I do. I do. I do.
I do.
AN: Written for the IzuOcha Discord server's writing competition for the prompt "Autumn."
Thank you to Deadliest Sin Bin from there for editing this.
Keeping this within 5,000 words was a challenge, but a good one. There are two deleted scene from this as a result, which I will be posting on my tumblr in the near future:
Hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a favourite and a review if so!