Author Notes: About four years ago, I published my first and to date only completed fanfic by the name of Super Mario Eds. Since then, I have started many stories, deleted a few, and simply lost interest in others. So, I've decided to try something that I've been mulling over for quite some time.
If you've read my SME fic and compared it to my more recent works like Courageous Ed and Demon's Familiar, you'll notice a difference: Super Mario Eds is, reading it now, pretty much crap. It has some of the running clichés of the genre (Ocs rampant, made-up Power-Ups, and dear god the grammer) and looking back, I can safely say it's up there with some of the poorer of the EEnE crossovers.
That isn't to say I'm not proud of it. Indeed, to this day it's still one of my proudest achievements. That said, it's still crap. So, I have decided to do a re-write using my recently acquired Super Mario 3D World. Seriously, it's awesome. That said, it was only naturally that I mix it with the Eds. Anyway, without further dos, may I present…
Super Mario 3E
Prologue: It's My Party, I'll Get Virtualized if I Want To
If you were to ask anyone about the events that started on June 22nd of last year, most would shrug and reply with vague guesses, some would think back to give something resembling an honest answer, and a few might look at you like you were some weirdo randomly asking for personally information from complete strangers. But, if you were to ask the same question to the youth of the Cul-de-Sac of Peach Creek, their answer would be an unanimous 'A whole bunch of stuff/weirdness/fun/enlightening/crap." Depending on who you asked.
To understand why such a question could garner such a (mostly) unified conscience, one must go back to said point in time and review the events that were to transpire. Which is why our story begins on a warm, June morning…
EEE
Today, Eddy decided, sucked.
It wasn't even noon yet the sun was already high above, pouring out wave after wave of perspiration-inducing heat. The weather meant that most of the neighborhood and their choice suckers were holed up indoors under the cooling blades of regulated air. This meant that their mornings efforts of putting together the 'Triple E Roller Derby Smack Down Extravaganza' bore no fruits and that they'd wasted what could have been a perfectly calm and lazy morning. Which blew because Eddy had actually pitched in for once and was drenched in sweat from pits to sweltering toes.
Ed, local improbable strong man who seemed to make it a point to break the laws of physics at least three times before breakfast, was slumped against a hastily built rail of tossed away plumbing and toilet paper holders helmet in hand while sweating literal buckets into aforementioned head gear. Decked out in shoulder pads, ankle pads, protective vest, and blood constricting two-sizes-too-small skates it was little wonder he hadn't already passed out on the searing pavement.
"Eddy," the short boy turned, irritably scratching at sweat slicked skin, towards the voice "I think it's safe to say that no but us is going to venture out into this fry pan today."
Edd aka Double D was looking even worse for wear than his fellows, as he had opted for something more along the lines of a full-body suit and as such was fanning himself with one of his safety signs.
Eddy ground his teeth, nails digging trenches in his steadily sunburning skin. They'd spent all morning on this scam. It was Triple Grade A, something he'd dug up from his brother's previous ventures. It'd worked then and would've worked now…If they'd have bothered to show up. Lousy, good-for-nothing, cooled off-
"Hey, guys. Can we go to the party now?"
Double D ceased his fanning and Eddy swerved around fast enough to cause whiplash.
"Say wha' now?" Party? He didn't hear anything about a party. And Eddy, the King of All Things Cool and Happening, would've known if there was something as hip and happening as a party.
Ed shot up, upending his now filled headgear to let its content evaporate on the concrete, a wide smile on his face "Yeah! Sarah said she and Jimmy were goin' to Kevin's house for a huge party! She said they were gonna have video games and snacks and gravy and food and gravy and fun! Plus Gravy!"
While Edd went about calming their large friend's hyperactivity before he passed out from heatstroke, Eddy stood, gears turning in his head.
There was a party.
A party that they weren't invited to.
One with food, games, and the miracle of air conditioning.
"Well, boys," Eddy slung an arms around his friends, bringing an already uncomfortably sweat Double in contact with an even more perspired Ed "looks like we've got an entrance to make."
EEE
In a quaint little house in a quaint little neighborhood, a group of young adolescences were enjoying a mostly quaint gathering. There was food of all kinds: chips brought by Nazz, nuts by Johnny, a soufflé by Jimmy, and a beheaded mammal of some kind that had been presented by the proud son-of-a Sheppard. Drinks were of the sugary and artificial nature and the house was pumped full of cold, soothing air in contrast to the blistering wasteland that was the outdoors. All in all, it was a very nice and enjoyable party.
And then there was a sudden change in music, cheering from some unknown direction, and in a blast of smoke, heat, and, disgustingly, sweat the Eds had shown up.
Kevin, the host and current master of the household with his folks away on some weekend business trip, had acted to the sudden intrusion accordingly: he kicked them out. Or at least tried to, but Eddy being the resilient and annoying dork that he was refused to let go of the door frame. Which had prompted a shouting match with hurled insults and most likely violence until Nazz had intervened.
"Come on, you guys, it's a party."
Nazz's dazzling smile and golden locks seemed to have a near mystical effect on the boys of the Cul-de-Sac, the result being the two boys' cheeks to grow a rosy red and for Kevin to usher them inside.
Afterwards the party continued, only with a much more awkward and uneasiness than before as the kids and the Eds attempted to be civil with each other. Which of course failed. Ed was too Ed to follow anything resembling social decorum, Double D was too much a follower of social decorum to do things others might considered fun, and Eddy's ego pretty dominated the room.
Finally, they got to the main event.
"What're these?" Eddy asked, hands currently holding a silver helmet not unlike those seen in sci-fi films
"There Brain-Buckets." Kevin said matter-of-factly "You use 'em to play the game."
"I've never heard of a game console that used such unusual controls." Double D scanned the numerous cables attached the front ports of the device "Or allowed for such a large group of cooperative play."
"Plank says that's cause it's new!" Johnny fiddled with his own helmet, his ever faithful friend jammed in between his ear "Kevin parents're letting us play it first!"
"Ah, so we're beta testing it." he secured the safety strap with a soft click.
"Oh, oh! Hurry up Kevin! Let's play! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon!"
"Shut it, dorky!" Adjusting his own helmet he reach over and pressed the On Button.
Blinding pain and Agony followed.
EEE
Karina T. Wichita was a hard working type of woman.
Raised in a lower-middle-class family and runt of the litter, she'd learnt early on that if you want something, than you needed to go get it and let nothing stop you. It was how she had rocketed through elementary, passed middle school, and graduated a senior at fifteen. College offered a bit more of a challenge with required courses and community service, but she still managed to finish with honors and an offer to join one of the country's more prestigious software companies. She wasn't a prodigy (self-entitled little a-holes who breezed through where others had to work their butt off for) but she'd never let that stop her from making leaps and bounds.
So, when her employers had told they wouldn't patent her invention due to 'safety concerns' and 'questionable morality', she'd gone right back to her workstation and ran through it with a fine-toothed comb. So basically, what they needed was a demonstration that her work was not only safe but had real potential to be utilized in a multitude of areas? Easily done. A quick search through the phone listings, a few called in favors, and one delivery later and she was set.
Running a hand through her shoulder length purple hair, she stared at the screen, awaiting the start of the procedure. Minutes trickled by into hours and that into more before the tiny prompt on the home screen blink orange. Giddy with excitement, she quickly typed in a series of commands, mindful of the trafficking data and security protocols as a series of nine blue blips flowed through a grey tube.
She crossed her fingers.
They slowly filed down towards the larger and more grandiose second prompt.
Please work, she prayed.
The final blip passed through and for a second the screen was silent. Then a ping echoed out and the prompt glowed a vibrant yellow orange.
"Yes!" she clapped her hands in self-victory "Thank God that worked. Would've been pretty awkward to explain if I lost them this early. Alrighty then."
A few more rapid flickers across the keyboard and the prompt spilt open. A bright, cheerful tune intoned with various sound effects appeared and blared loudly.
"SUPER MARIO 3D WORLD!"
"Let's get started shall we?"
Author's Notes: Please don't be scared off by how sucky this prologue is. I needed something to start off with and well…anyway, next chapter our adventure starts and boy, is one of our heroes in for a shock! Until the, R&R! TTFN!