"What happened with Jasper¬that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" "You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected." "You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay¬" "As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me. "No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth "Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for "You... don't... want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed "No."
me¬somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care,
Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you¬it's yours already!"
twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder¬like the
liquid gold had frozen solid.
eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
their real intent.
in that order.
I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes.
Then something inside of me broke.
Xx – xXx – xXx – xXx – xX
Edwards POV
I gasped as the images raced in front of my eyes. The scene in front of me was playing itself back but from a different point of view. Bella's point of view. I was seeing Bella's thoughts. Her thoughts were different than how I had pictured them. My Bella who always seemed so collected and accepting. But her thoughts were a maze.
I cringed as my words to her hit me, seeming even more callous than when I had said them. But still as I had broken her heart so thoroughly she looked at me like I was an angel.
I finally saw what she saw when she looked at me. All the times she told me she didn't believe I was damned I didn't believe her. I truly thought she was only saying it so I would change her one day. But to her my soul was as pure as her own.
And her soul was pure, her thoughts the most beautiful and selfless as I have ever heard.
"Edward?" I looked at her face, an image of a broken heart, and I saw her thoughts. She was worried about me, when I was the one crushing her. I had gone still when I first heard her thoughts.
I knew I should leave her now, to let her forget about me, make it so she could lead a long, normal, human life. But I couldn't make myself turn around, not when I had seen this, hear her. I just couldn't.
"I hear you Bella", I said, my voice sounding windswept.
"What?" She asked her face now showing obvious concern that her thoughts were consumed with.
"I can hear your thoughts", I said and I couldn't stop the breath taking smile that spread across my face.
"You can hear me?" She asked and I laughed when at the same time her thoughts were, "He can hear me?"
Her thoughts changed again and her course made me unnecessarily swallow.
Does this mean he'll stay?
"I don't know if I could ever leave you", I told her honestly and moved forward to embrace her. She scurried back like a scared animal. It was not a reaction I ever expected from Bella. Not since the day she found out I was a vampire and she failed to even flinch.
I was sure then that her fear was just latent, and that she finally understood the danger I was to her. But of course Bella again surprised me.
"You... don't... want me?"
"I do", I said feeling the urge to dry sob and wretch, "I wanted you to be safe, I still do but…"
She tried to open her mouth and respond but the words were stuck in her throat. "But?" She thought, the words she was unable to say.
"I can't leave you Bella", I said and again moved towards her, but made no move to touch her, "I kept saying that you didn't understand how dangerous I was. Kept saying you didn't understand what you would be giving up. But I was wrong Bella", I spoke the words with similar conviction as she had once, "I didn't understand".
I looked at her and she was in the same position, with her arms curled around and hurt on her face, "Bella I want you".
She looked up at me and I nodded, "I have always and will always want you".
She shook her head, "But you said-"
"I lied Bella", I cut across her not even wanting to hear those hurtful words come to her mind, "I thought if you thought I didn't want you that you would move on, and live a human life".
Her thoughts strayed immediately to the idea and I saw what it would entail. She would never have gotten over me, would never have forgotten us. She would not have lived the life I wanted for her.
"Bella I love you", I said as I stepped closer to her, so I was within touching distance.
"It doesn't make sense for you to love me", she thought, and shook her head, "It doesn't", she said aloud.
"Bella I have never known another person like you", I said, "I have never heard another thought as beautiful as yours, and never met a person who holds my heart like you do".
"I love you Bella", I repeated and touched her arms.
She moved forward and pulled me into a kiss, "I love you, and I always will".
She was crying as she pulled away, but a smile was etched on her face. Her mind was retracing the entire kiss, and I would have blushed when I heard how much she cared. She held me on a pedestal which was far too high.
I looked at her and she was grinning, "You can hear me?" She said with excitement in her voice.
"You're happier than I thought you would have been. I thought that you loved me not being able to read your mind", I teased, feeling ridiculously happy.
"I'm glad it kept you from going".
Xx – xXx – xXx – xXx – xX
I climbed in through her window when I heard Charlie begin to snore. She was looking around her room, confused.
"What's wrong?" I asked and she jumped. No matter how many times I did that she still jumped.
"Edward".
I smiled pleased that I could still hear her thoughts.
"Where's all my stuff?" She asked and I knew by the images flashing threw her mind what she meant. I walked to the floorboard I had hidden her things under and pulled them out.
"Why-"
"I thought it would be easier for you to forget about us, if you didn't have anything to remember us by", I told her handing them to her.
As soon as I said that she turned away, as though shielding the items from me. Like she was protecting something incredibly precious. And it was to her. I cringed when I saw the hurt thoughts in her head, watching how she would have reacted to coming home to the emptiness.
"It wouldn't have been easier at all", she had gone back to thinking and I knew it was because she was afraid her voice would break.
"Bella, I can not begin to tell you how sorry I am", I said but she cut me off.
"Then don't", she said turning to me. She walked towards me and put her hand on my face, "I love you Edward. And now you finally know it", she said with tears spilling from her eyes, but the smile on her face overpowered them.
"I love you so much", I said.
Xx – xXx – xXx – xXx – xX
I was sitting in Bella's room still. She had been asleep for about thirty minutes now, but I just couldn't make myself leave. Hearing her thoughts was one thing. But I could see her dreams.
I was overwhelmed by them, half of her dreams were memories. Us in the meadow, lunchtimes in the cafeteria. The first time she saw me, the first time we spoke, the first time we kissed. In the background constantly playing was her lullaby.
I saw flashes of what she dreamt for our future. Together, as vampires, and if what I saw was the truth I would have changed her instantly. But I knew it was different. She would be blood thirsty. She could never look at me the same. Her soul would be damned.
But looking at her image, a golden-eyed, flawless Bella. It was hard to ever think of her as damned, or soulless.
I heard Alice before I saw her. Her thoughts intruding on Bella's dream in my head.
She jumped up and sat on the windowsill. She smiled at me and I knew she had seen what happened.
"You heard her", she said happily.
I nodded, briefly flickering my eyes from Bella to her.
"So we're staying?" She asked but I knew from the vision of us returning to school that she already knew the answer to that.
Her mood sobered slightly but I scarcely noticed, as Bella's dream switched to prom. "She will be one of us", Alice said, and I saw her vision of a Bella, as a vampire. So similar was Bella's dream to Alice's vision, it would make one question if Bella had foresight as well.
I nodded, "I don't think one lifetime is enough for me". I felt sick to my stomach. Putting my own selfish needs before Bella's life. I was a monster.
"Well that's a good thing because it definitely isn't enough for Bella", she said and smiled one last time. I nodded and she hopped off the window and landed gracefully.
I was once again swept away by Bella's dream. It was in Port Angeles. I didn't realize the significance of the occasion at the time. The night I saved Bella from those men. I knew at that stage that I would kill for Bella, if that was what she wanted. But I didn't know what that day marked for Bella.
That was the day she first realized she loved me.
I bit back a sob, realizing how badly I loved her, and how close I had come to destroying her.
I lay down beside her on the bed. "I'll never leave you Bella", I whispered to her, and breathed in as I immersed myself into her dream, where it was just me and her, together in the meadow.
So what do you think? Good? Bad?
Should this be a one=shot or should I continue?