Disclaimer: I do not own any of the (Sherlock) characters.
Prologue
Sherlock paced the flat running his boney fingers through his ebony locks. He had deduced that this was the night. The night everything ends. The night he loses control. The night that John finally rips his heart out, shattering it to pieces. Tonight was the night that John tells him about the affair.
John arrived home at eight, his eyes blood shot and lids drooping heavily. He needed sleep, but he wasn't planning on sleeping here. He knew that. Sebastian had planned to pick him up in exactly a hour. Just enough time of him to end it with Sherlock and pack up his things. He entered the flat to find Sherlock sitting in front of the fire place, his feature's dark and tiresome.
"Argh...John! Your home." He tried to hide his anxiety and pain.
"Sherlock...We um..We need to talk" John tried to start, but even he could see that Sherlock was already falling apart. He knew. Of course, Sherlock bloody knew. He always knew. He was Sherlock Holmes. He drew a deep breath feeling unsteady. His hands shaking vigorously.
"Sherlock, I don't think we can continue with this - This thing we have between us." He looked down calming himself before speaking again in a more hushed tone.
"I think it's time we - we end it. We both know it was doomed to end badly from the beginning. I am just stopping it before we both end up in ruin. You deserve better. You are better. I don't deserve you -" He cut himself off.
"I think it would be best" He paused.
"If - If we...I just pack my thing's and go...Don't you?" Oh, god. He thought. He sounded heartless. How could he do this to Sherlock? Sherlock who had given everything to him. Sherlock who cared for him even though it wasn't in his nature. Sherlock who was alway's loyal and Sherlock who was still madly in love with him.
Sherlock remained still. He couldn't look at John. He couldn't even speak. Closing his eye's and bitting his lip as small pleas threatened to escape his mouth. He couldn't hold him back even if John was his safety net. He had to let him go. He had to say goodbye to his Soldier, his blogger, his doctor, his friend, and his heart. He was the one that didn't deserve John. He was the monster.