So it was a joke. Or at least… It was supposed to be. But when Mai's selection came through, she had to admit this guy was very attractive.
Like, drool-worthy attractive.
"You're totally going to meet him right?" Michiru demanded.
"Yeah if you don't I am totally snapping him up because wow," Keiko added.
"I don't know guys…"
"Mai are you serious? That guy could be a model!"
"What does his profile say?" Michiru inquired.
"Read it out!" Keiko encouraged.
"Hello, my name is Oliver and I am a physicist. My brother forced me to sign up for this and I will be quite happy if no one responds."
"Oh." Michiru's shoulders sagged a bit. "But he was a perfect match though right?"
"89%," Mai read out. "Though the site says anything over 80 is 'perfect' so I'm not so sure abou—"
"I think you should message him," Keiko declared.
"What? He literally said he doesn't want to be contacted!"
"Yes, but he hasn't met you," Keiko said. "What have you got to lose?"
"Well since I lost my dignity signing up for this stupid site—"
"Nothing! Exactly! Here, let me."
Keiko stole the laptop from Mai and began typing.
"Hi, my name is Mai and I would love a chance to meet up with you over coffee sometime—" Keiko was interrupted by Michiru.
"Mai doesn't like coffee, change it to tea."
"Good point. I would love to meet up with you over a nice cup of tea sometime soon."
"I hate you both," Mai muttered.
Michiru was poised, ready to spring at any moment and prevent Mai from regaining control of her laptop. Keiko finished typing and hit send.
"Done."
"I hate you."
"Well in a year or two when you get married and are popping out adorable baby models, you can thank us then," Keiko declared.
"I am not gonna be popping anything out in a year or two!" Mai protested. "That's gross!"
"Mai, seriously." A sudden look came over Michiru's face. "I have just had the best idea."
"Whatever it is, I don't like it already," Mai said. She flopped back onto her bed and groaned.
"Just give me two seconds. I have this app you see…"
Keiko leaned over Michiru's shoulder and grinned.
"Mai look!"
Mai opened her eyes to see three pictures. The top left was her from Keiko's last birthday party. It was a good photo to be fair, but Mai still scowled at it. The top right was Mr Should-be-a-model Physicist. The third, underneath the other two, was a merged photo forced onto a baby's body.
"This is what your kid would look like!"
"That's disturbing," Mai muttered.
"It's adorable!"
"Why do you even have that app?" Mai asked.
"Because I had to see what my future babies with Lee Jinki would look like," Michiru explained. "See, I've saved them. This is—"
"You're weird."
"Says the person that doesn't want to have babies with a model."
"He's not a model," Mai retorted. "He's a physicist."
"Well he should quit his day job and—"
"You know he's probably really clever if he does physics," Michiru mused. "Your babies will be smart and beautiful."
"Can we please stop discussing my non-existent babies?" Mai asked.
"But—"
"Have you seen the second guy on Mai's list of matches?" Keiko interrupted. "This guy is a banker! He's gonna be loaded!"
"And a arsehole!" Michiru added. "All bankers do is just scrounge people out of money and avoid tax. I'm not letting Mai—"
"She could marry him, steal his money and then divorce him and get with the model!"
Mai, at that point, decided to switch off her hearing. The dating site had had a free trial offering and as both of her friends were 'taken' — Keiko by a real boyfriend and Michiru by Lee Jinki — they had signed her up.
Filling out the questions had been fun. There was something satisfying about filling out the form of her likes and dislikes.
"—Eugh, this guy is like fifty! That's just creepy, I swear. Mai, did you limit your preferences on the other person at all?" Michiru interrupted her thoughts.
"I wasn't given the option to?"
"Really?"
"Nah, that's a premium feature that isn't available in the free trial," Mai mumbled. "Have you replied to any others?"
"Nah, Mr Model is definitely your best match. This guy here likes collecting goat hair jumpers," Keiko said.
"Is that a thing?"
"Apparently so," Keiko mused. "Although he's dyed the one in the picture. I supposed it's not hideous."
"We're not setting Mai up with a goat hair jumper hoarder. I'd rather the banker than that…" Michiru said. "I'm thirsty, Mai what have you got in?"
"So first you invite yourselves around and now you want me to provide you with sustenance?" Mai asked in mock annoyance.
"If you quench my thirst I shall order chinese," Michiru declared, twisting into a kneeling position. She bowed down to Mai, hands clasped together.
Mai rolled her eyes.
"Okay, but I want hoisin duck wraps and that fancy egg fried rice," she relented. "I've got stuff to make smoothies, or tea, or I have some coffee. It's Yasuhara's and super fancy but he won't mind."
Keiko jumped up.
"Smoothies!" she decided. "I'll make them! You guys get ordering chinese."
Ten minutes later, they had placed the food order and were all sipping mango and pineapple smoothies from mason jars. Keiko had taken pictures to put on instagram with a suitably flattering filter.
"We should watch a film," Mai suggested. "Go on Netflix and find something, I'm just gonna pop to the loo."
"Will do."
Mai scrambled out of bed and shuffled down the hallway to the bathroom. She sighed, exhausted by her well-meaning friends and locked the door behind her. Her sudden need for the toilet had nothing to do with her bladder and more with her desire to breathe.
When she finally returned, Keiko questioned her absence.
"You were gone a long time, everything okay?"
Mai held up her phone.
"Sorry, cat videos morphed into puppies and baby videos. Seriously, pets protecting tiny humans are so cute."
"Have you seen that one with the—"
"Oh my god," Michiru exclaimed. "Mai! He replied! Mr Model replied!"
"What?" Keiko and Mai replied together.
"What did he say?"
Michiru read aloud.
"Hello Mai. How about dinner tomorrow at the Villa Verdi at 8PM? Oliver."
"Short and to the point," Keiko surmised. But Michiru was already googling the restaurant.
"Mai. This place has a Michelin star! You should go just for the food if nothing else!"
"I can't go anywhere fancy! I don't have the clothes for that!" Mai protested.
"It's also vegetarian," Michiru went on. "He's a veggie?"
"Is that a problem?"
"Well aren't they kind of weak? I don't want anything less than a big strong man to give you big strong babies!"
"Seriously, drop the baby thing," Mai muttered.
"And don't be daft," Keiko went on, "As long as he eats other proteins he's fine. I say go for it."
"Yeah, go for the food, it's bound to be good."
Mai sighed.
"Okay then."
And her friends squealed.
Author's note: So this is a gonna be a load of shorter chapters just because it's working out that way so far... Chapter 2 is written, I'll post it once I've written Chapter 3!