Author's note: Yoooo, guys, I'm totally alive (uni's just taking over my life woops).
So, Yuri came up with this awesome new contest and I'm so excited because we'll be spamming everyone with song-inspired Puzzle one-shots ngghhhhh.
Good luck, everyone!
Song for round number 1: Soap by Melanie Martinez
It all happened so fast.
Yugi was surrounded by broken glass and knocked over furniture. The air smelled of sex and sweat, but it felt so unnatural that it disgusted him more than anything. His bloodshot eyes lingered on the floor for a few seconds before he finally dared to look up.
There was a crack in the wall because Yami had slammed the door shut. And Yugi couldn't blame him for losing control like that. It was his fault that they had had a major fight, a fight he'd feared from the start. Sure, they'd fought in the past many times, which was one of the reasons why they broke up in the first place.
With a small sigh, Yugi massaged his forehead with both of his hands, a few hiccups still making their way past his cracked lips. It had been a while since he had cried this much and he had forgotten that it always made his head spin like crazy.
Of all the things that could have happened during an argument –
"God…" he uttered hoarsely, wincing at the sharp pain that shot through his throat.
On one hand, Yugi felt so relieved, but on the other hand, the guilt was eating him alive. Not only had he probably messed with Yami's head, maybe even damaged it permanently, he'd also hurt his feelings.
An odd laugh escaped. Oh, he definitely did more than just that.
Yami had never looked so betrayed in his life. If Yugi hadn't been fully aware of his actions and words, it would have been comical. The look in Yami's eyes had been completely out of character, even though it was exactly what Yugi had expected to see. Maybe he'd never get over it, or maybe he'd go back to the hospital to hear the truth from someone else. Or maybe his phone would start buzzing in his pocket and he'd get a speech from one of their friends.
After all, he had spilled the secret he had promised to keep. The promise that he was forced to make, even though his body and mind had been screaming at him not to do it. Yugi knew that it was going to cost him, and that his broken heart wouldn't be able to take it, but he didn't have a choice back then.
"Whatever you do, don't tell him the truth. Worst case scenario, you'll cause permanent damage, maybe even trauma."
The doctor's words echoed in his cloudy head. Easier said than done, since that guy didn't have to deal with the issue himself, Yugi thought bitterly.
Maybe Yami would never forgive him. Or maybe, hopefully, he'd forget the whole thing after a few years. That last thought made Yugi laugh so hard that it almost made him cry. The fucking irony was pretty hilarious, but it hurt.
His phone rang, causing him to twitch. Swallowing, he fished the small device out of his pocket and picked up.
"Hello?"
"You told him."
It was Jounouchi and like him, he sounded almost broken. His voice was lower than usual and there was definitely a hint of resent there. "You of all people should know that I couldn't do it anymore."
"It probably would have been over tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. It couldn't have been that bad, right?"
"I had sex with him," Yugi almost snapped and felt a sense of justice when Jounouchi stayed silent for a few seconds.
"What, he couldn't control himself?"
If only it had been Yami's fault that had driven him into this. Unfortunately, it was Yugi's own fault for not having the balls to bring out a simple "no" when Yami gently laid him down on his bed and tentatively tugged at his shirt. They had been kissing (which Yugi didn't really mind) and at some point, he noticed that Yami wanted more. It was rather romantic, if he had to be completely honest with himself, but there was still that voice in the back of his head that ruined it.
"He didn't have to," Yugi said dryly. "I didn't resist because I didn't want to upset him."
"Oh, god," Jounouchi moaned and Yugi heard a faint thud on the other side, indicating that his best friend had probably knocked something over. "You felt obligated, didn't you?"
"Before the break-up, I never pushed him away, so it would've been suspicious if I'd said I didn't want to. I was scared he'd start asking questions."
"… Right."
"Jounouchi-kun, I really don't want to do this right now," Yugi sighed, feeling familiar tears pricking in his eyes. "We had a horrible fight and I'm exhausted. I feel like I'm gonna collapse any second."
"Call him."
"No."
"Yugi—"
"He laid down some very clear boundaries. Doesn't want to talk to me or see me."
"Damn it, you two," Jounouchi groaned and Yugi felt a tear rolling down his cheek. "You're impossible. Fine, I'll go look for him and talk to him. He couldn't have gotten that far."
"He's probably parked his car a few blocks away and is wandering around, cursing loudly to himself," Yugi automatically said and the fact that he knew exactly what Yami did whenever he was upset, hurt.
This was exactly why he couldn't do it. This entire week had felt like a trap and no matter what he did, he couldn't find a way out. He was forced to put on this stupid smile everyday and pretend that everything was okay, while in his head he was screaming for help and silently hoping that Yami would go back to normal again soon. And all their friend simply stood there and watched it all happen, that same fake smile on their faces and goofing around, or at least, trying to.
And of course, Yami had found it somewhat curious and so, asked Yugi if everything was okay.
"Hm? Yeah, of course. Why do you ask?"
"Because you've been biting your nails like crazy and you always do that when you're worried. What's up?"
It had become a part of Yugi's routine to lie to him, but since he had been instructed to do so, he didn't feel that bad about it. Jounouchi kept saying it was for the best while Anzu was obviously very against it, but she also knew Yugi couldn't exactly tell him the truth.
Going out on dates was doable, holdings hands was fine, cuddling and hugging was alright, kissing was something Yugi was rather skeptical about (especially since Yami was a great kisser), but tonight Yami wanted to have sex and Yugi started crying halfway through it. Yami stopped right away and cradled him, asking him if he was alright and before he could stop himself, Yugi ended up blubbering out the entire story.
At first, Yami went silent and stared at him for a good ten seconds, his hazy eyes clearing up. He cursed under his breath before he jumped off the bed and picked up his clothes from the ground. Yugi shut his eyes, hoping that it was all just a bad dream and that this was not truly happening because he had no idea what to do or say. He just sat there, following Yami as he roughly pulled his shirt over his head and didn't even bother to close the buttons.
Neither of them said anything for a while. Yami stood there, his back facing Yugi, his fists shaking next to his sides and taking some deep breaths.
"Yami—"
But said person shook his head and stomped out of the room.
Practically throwing himself out bed, Yugi quickly put on some boxers and his shirt and ran after him. "Come back! I wanna talk about this!"
Yami was about halfway to the front door and spun to him so fast that it scared him. "Okay, fine. Talk. Talk about how much you hated spending time with me. Talk about how you forced yourself into having sex with me. Talk about how fucked up this is. Let's talk about everything."
Yugi gritted his teeth. "You know it's not like that."
"You had to pretend to be my boyfriend for a week," Yami replied in a deadpan tone. "How is it not like that?"
"Because the doctor, and everyone else, begged me not to tell you the truth! I didn't have a choice!"
"Oh, yes, I feel so much better now!"
"Has it even occurred to you that I put myself through hell for you?" Yugi argued stubbornly and threw up his hands. "It hurt. More than you can imagine, but I kept going because it was for the best! There wasn't anything else we could've done!"
Yami's eyebrow twitched and he reached for his head, clutching it. "Then why didn't you just "break up" with me again? Then you wouldn't have had to put yourself through absolute hell."
"The doctor told me not to upset you."
"Well, you did a great job at that."
They fought for a good good twenty minutes before Yami finally ended it by saying he had to go and left, leaving Yugi behind in his messed up living room.
"I wish I'd kept it together," he whispered against his phone and covered his face, which had become wet with tears. "But I was so tired."
Since the tears were probably evident in his voice, Jounouchi's tone turned gentle and genuine. Yugi was glad they could talk for a bit so he could tell him how hard it was to keep his façade and that he was scared to lose Yami for good, but it felt so unnatural to talk to Jounouchi about everything. It was always Yami who was there to listen to his ramblings and comfort him. He would make Yugi laugh afterwards with crappy puns and silly jokes, and— damn it, Yugi hated how that thought was entering his mind.
"Want me to come over?"
"Nah, I'll be fine. Gotta go clean up this mess anyway," Yugi quickly brushed him off, bending over to carefully pick up a piece of glass and placing it on the kitchen counter. "We'll talk later, okay?"
"'Kay. Take care, man. Later."
Click.
Sighing, Yugi walked over to the couch and went to lie down on his stomach. He buried his face in one of the pillows, unintentionally breathing in its scent and groaning when he realized Yami fell asleep on the couch the other day and that his scent was still on it. But he was simply too tired to stand up so he closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
As usual, his mind wandered off to the night of Yami's accident. They were over at Anzu's to hang out and Yami had accidentally skipped the last step of the stairs and fell forward, slamming his head against the wall. He was unconscious for a while and while Yugi was desperately trying to wake him up, Anzu called an ambulance and they were brought to the nearest hospital.
After anxiously sitting in the waiting room for a while, one of the doctors walked up to them to tell them that apart from a minor concussion, Yami was fine. They were all very relieved until they were reunited and Yami had kissed him.
That kiss had made his lips tingle, much to Yugi's dismay. They broke up months ago, so it wasn't supposed to feel good at all. What made it worse was the fact that the doctor told him to go along with it for as long as needed, and that Yami'd probably not remember any of it, anyway. So even if Yugi wanted to enjoy their time together, he couldn't, because Yami would just forget all of it in the end. He'd have to get rid of the memories, which was going to be… impossible.
After three days of spending a lot of time with Yami, Yugi noticed he still had feelings for him and his world collapsed. It got worse and after a few more days, Yugi was sure he had reached his breaking point. Yami was just so great, giving him those adoring smiles, absently touching him whenever they were talking, hugging him in his sleep… It felt great. But it wasn't real. None of it.
The next day, Yugi woke up feeling like he had a hangover. Everything ached and he was beyond nauseous. When he checked his phone for the time, he saw that it was around nine in the morning and that he had received a text message a few minutes ago.
"Hey, Aibou. Feel like hanging out today? Maybe we can go to the movies, or something, I dunno. Sorry (not sorry) if I woke you up – Yami"
Author's note: Giving you an open ending because I'm a terrible, terrible person.
So. Much. Angst. I dunno what I'm doing anymore aiusdhfjkdsl
I've always played around with the idea of amnesia and this song definitely gave me a push in the right direction. I swear, it was right there.
Also, I never write from Yugi's POV so it was definitely a new experience to write thing from his perspective for once. It was really fun and interesting! I need to experiment more lol
Please review!
