A/N: Why did I write this? I am not exactly sure. This is a series of event (not necessarily in the chronological order) that happen after Maya's death. It's mostly from Riley's view.
WARNING: Character death, mentions of suicide, mentions of self-harm.
How many months had it been since she had left?
Riley wasn't sure.
She had once more sneaked into her room and had sat on her bed, staring at the closed bathroom door, waiting, wishing, that she would come out to join her after her shower.
But she would never come.
The day of the funeral was the day Riley felt all of the light in her leave. She stood between Farkle and Lucas, holding their hands, staring at the coffin Katy had picked out. It was a terrible thing that a mother had to lower her own child in the ground. You never think it will happen to you, you never expect it to happen. But then, there you are, the day before your 37th birthday, watching your 17 year old child be buried and lost forever.
Her death was no accident. Riley knew that.
She wished she had helped.
She wished she had known.
But she didn't. And that couldn't change a thing.
She had spent the night in Maya's old room with Farkle and Lucas. The three were huddled up on her bed, wrapped in blankets, watching Maya's favorite show Friends. It felt like nothing could make them laugh, nothing could make them smile anymore because she wasn't there. Maya was gone, gone forever.
Riley had taken off her funeral clothes and had dressed herself in some of Maya's new clothes that she wasn't allowed to touch. She had hoped Maya would have barged in the bathroom and would have told her to immediately remove her clothes.
Riley sniffled, trying to keep herself from crying.
She had cried enough.
Lucas and Farkle found her thirty minutes later, curled up on the bathroom floor, crying her eyes out for what seemed like the hundredth time this week.
It didn't feel real, it couldn't be real.
Maya wasn't truly gone, was she?
Riley kept on telling herself that her best friend was still around. Whenever her uncle Shawn would go on one of his trips for work, Riley would say that Maya had went with him. She kept on making up so many excuses as to why her best friend wasn't around, but eventually, Farkle had snapped at her.
He had screamed for what seemed like hours, trying to get it through her head that Maya was gone and never coming back.
Their little trio had thought Farkle was the one who had best handled Maya's departure. It wasn't until Riley noticed the sleeve of his shirt roll-up that she realized maybe he hadn't taken it so well. The scars on his arm proved that he wasn't okay.
Farkle had apologized after, and had cried. He had cried and cried for hours, and Riley held him. He ended up falling asleep on her bed, and she let him. It seemed like he had needed this.
Riley had noticed that it was more physically evident for Lucas that Maya's death had affected him. He was paler, skinnier and he had huge bags under his eyes. The brunette could tell her friend was only getting worse. He was having nightmares, which didn't help him. He said he would always see her, blonde hair everywhere, looking as angelic as ever. But then, everything would go dark, and he would see her slice her throat. He couldn't move, couldn't help. He was stuck.
Riley had seen him smile on multiple occasions, but she saw that his smile never reached his eyes anymore. That sparkle in his eyes was gone.
Just like she was.
When a new student almost sat in Maya's seat, Farkle threw his book at him. It barely missed him. The new student had turned to Farkle in horror, not understand what was happening.
Farkle had gotten up, screaming about how it was Maya's seat and Maya's seat only. The new boy still didn't understand. Lucas and Riley had to drag Farkle out of the classroom as he screamed profanities to the boy.
It didn't feel right.
Sitting at Topanga's with Farkle and Lucas didn't feel right anymore.
She missed Maya by her side.
It didn't matter if Zay would sit by her to comfort her, he wasn't Maya.
He couldn't take her place.
No one and nothing could.
How she had found herself sitting in front of Maya's grave in the middle of winter, she didn't know. She would probably freeze to death, but she didn't care.
It was midnight, and it was her birthday. Maya would have been 18.
Maya would never turn 18.
She would never marry.
She would never have children.
She would never have grand-children.
A single tear rolled on Riley's cheek as snow started falling down. The brunette leaned against the grave, waiting for her friend to tell her everything would be fine.
Two hours later, Riley fell asleep against Maya's grave, still waiting for her friend.
She never came.