A/N: Alrighty, I wrote the first half of this many moons ago (up until the "attack") and then the rest in a day. So there may be some differences? I can't tell. Any-who, I hope you enjoy this!
Disclaimer: I do not own DGM. Believe me, that bandana would be MINE!
"Good morning!" yelled Lavi, smiling brightly as he walked into Komui's office. Oblivious to everyone's glares and groans at his loud voice so early in the morning, he proceeded to fall onto the couch.
"Baka Usagi! Don't you know it's two in the morning?" snapped Kanda when Lavi sat by him. The swordsman pushed him roughly off the couch.
"Okay then…Komui, what's our mission?" asked Allen, trying to ignore the struggle of his companions.
"Right," replied Komui, coughing to catch the attention of the others. "We have had reports of Innocence in a rural town in Northern France. There have also been Akuma sightings, leading us to believe the report to be true." Pulling down a map on the wall, he pointed out the area. "Now since my lovely Lenalee is off on a mission, it is up to you people to find the Innocence, defeat the Akuma…well you know what to do so chop chop!" He clapped twice to make his point.
"Yes Sir," said Miranda jumping up and saluting.
"Miranda, you don't need to salute…" Allen chuckled.
"Eh? I'm so sorry, please forgive me!" wailed Miranda bowing rapidly to both Komui and Allen, who found it odd that a German woman would bow. She turned to bow to Lavi and Kanda and hit Lavi on the head as he struggled to get off the floor. At this, Miranda went ballistic and attempted to help Lavi up, but only succeeded in knocking him down again.
"I'm sorry," whimpered Miranda. Lavi had lost count of the times Miranda had apologized in the past four hours. Allen had gone to the train's food cart, Link in tow, with the excuse of grabbing them all breakfast. Kanda on the other hand, had not been able to escape yet. This was not good.
I should have followed the Bean-sprout… thought Lavi, staring out the window at the passing country side. Miranda sat, rocking in the corner, muttering apologies. "Miranda, it's fine, really, you didn't hurt me," said Lavi, once again trying to calm his erratic friend. He stood up and offered her a hand up.
"Really?" asked Miranda, looking up hopefully, teary eyed.
"Of course, he's only said it 500 times!" snapped Kanda, glaring daggers at the poor woman.
"Eeep!" squeaked Miranda, hiding behind Lavi.
Ba-Kanda, thought Lavi, I finally got her calmed down! "Yu, why can't you be nice?" whined Lavi, knowing using his name would make him angry.
Mugen was then pressed to his throat. "Say that again Rabbit. I dare you," Kanda growled menacingly. Allen choose that moment to walk in, Link following like a shadow (the Fourteenth was becoming sort of jealous).
"This is going in my report," commented Link, sitting down.
"Let's calm down," said Allen, worrying what this would do to Miranda's crazy meter.
"Shut up Moyashi." said Kanda, turning his glare onto Allen. At this, Allen went into his Black-mode.
"What's your problem Ba-Kanda? Can't you see you scare Miranda?" Allen said, matching Kanda's glare.
"Oh look we're there, guess it's time to stop fighting!" said Lavi, stepping between his two fighting friends. He froze, caught between the death glares, which had been directed at him. "Or you can continue, who am I to say, ha, ha…" he quickly ran off the train, Miranda close behind.
"We're lost," grumbled Kanda. The group was now wandering through a forest trying to find a town. "If the Rabbit hadn't lost the map…" Kanda glared at Lavi. Lavi glared back, annoyed by the swordsman blaming him for everything that had happened. It wasn't his fault that they'd gotten off one stop to early. It wasn't his fault that the map had been left on the train. It wasn't his fault they were now lost in the forest, after he'd taken a wrong turn. Well, actually, it was his all fault, but he wasn't coping to any of it without proof!
"Well then, oh great and fearless leader," Lavi snapped, voice dripping with sarcasm. "What do you suggest we do next?"
"Oh, no! He is not the leader!" yelled Allen, before Kanda could reply. "Anyone but him." He jabbed his finger at Kanda.
"Oh yeah, Moyashi? Do you think you'd be a better leader?" snapped Kanda.
"I'd do better then you, Yu," Allen replied.
That hit a nerve. Kanda unsheathed Mugen and advanced towards Allen, who activated Crown Clown. Link grabbed Allen's claw and Kanda's sword. "Please save the death threats for when we get out of the forest."
As they resumed their stroll through the forest, Allen suddenly froze. "Nobody move," he whispered. They all stopped, wondering what was lurking in the seemingly peaceful area. "An evil greater than the Earl is watching us," Allen silently warned.
Miranda cast a nervous glance around. "What is it?" she murmured.
"More importantly, where is it?" asked Kanda, sword at the ready.
"Right above Lavi!" Lavi looked up with a start. There, looking at him with luminous eyes was a…squirrel!
Lavi's eye twitched. "You gave me a heart-attack over a squirrel?" he shouted at Allen. Allen flinched, never taking his eyes off the bundle of fur.
"They are pure evil," replied Allen. "This one time with General Cross, we were walking in a park, and a squirrel attacked this girl! Master went to help her, because her friend had fallen to the ground laughing. They thought he was a pervert, so they pepper sprayed him." Allen's eyes glazed over slightly, as he reminisced.
I do believe this girl is Allen's hero. No longer preoccupied with whatever Allen was now rambling about, Lavi instead looked at the squirrel, which had moved onto a lower branch and was now a little above eye level with the man. "You're not so vicious, are ya?" he mused, green eye staring into the squirrel's beady ones. Without warning the squirrel launched itself at his head.
Lavi flailed backwards, yelling. The small critter clung to his head, sounding very much like it was angry at him as it scratched him with tiny claws. Lavi batted at the creature, which proceeded to bite his hand. With a yelp, Lavi managed to yank the creature off and threw it away from him. It scurried off into the underbrush with an annoyed squeak.
The red-head stood panting slightly, dumbstruck by what had just occurred. He turned and glared at his friends. "Nobody thought to help me?" he asked incredulously.
Miranda had a look of horror etched onto her face, staring at the place the squirrel had disappeared; Allen was picking himself up off the ground after having collapsed in a fit of laughter; Link was rubbing his temples, wondering what he had done to deserve this; Kanda however just stared at him. Lavi fidgeted, slightly unnerved by the other Exorcists steely eyed almost-glare.
Kanda finally spoke up. "One, you probably need a Rabies shot between the bite and all the scratches on your face." Lavi looked at him horrified; The Matron was so scary! Kanda continued in a monotone voice, "Second, you do realize that the squirrel took your head-band, right?"
Lavi's hand went to his forehead. A look meant for a Kodak moment crossed his face. "That little bastard stole my bandana!"
"When I find you, you satanic gerbil…" Lavi muttered murderously, looking through the bushes. After 15 minutes of valiantly combing the forest looking for his precious bandana, Lavi was at a lost as to what to do. Miranda and Allen had helped in the search (Kanda and Link were of the "I don't care" mindset), but were now discussing moving on to meet up with the Finder for their mission.
"Just give me five more minutes!" shouted Lavi. He was just about to snap and torch the place when he spotted a bushy tail sticking out the hollow of a tree. He froze, motioning for Allen to move in. The younger boy shook his head, whispering "I'm not getting anywhere near that thing! It's evil…"
"Oh, get out of the way," snapped Kanda, tired of waiting on them. He marched over to the tree.
"Yu, wait!" Lavi yelled at a whisper. He dashed to save his friend from a terrible death by squirrel only to be to late. Kanda had gotten to close and been bitten by the fuzzy creature. Before he could behead the tiny creature however, Miranda pulled him back with a cry of, "You can't kill him!"
Her companions stared at her. "You can't be serious?" Lavi deadpanned. "That thing is a monster! I…I bet it's an Akuma!" he shouted, with a triumphant look towards the eyes glaring at him from the hollow.
"It's a squirrel…" Miranda said quietly. "He's probably protecting his family or something…" She thought for a moment. "Maybe we can just leave him alone?" she asked hopefully.
"Not unless I get my bandana back," came the stubborn reply. Kanda merely glared, a killing intent radiating from the samurai-like Exorcist.
"Um…then…" Miranda looked around frantically, wondering what to do. "I've got it!" she cried. She turned back to the tree, activating her Innocence and reaching into the hollow.
Lavi and Allen looked at her in a mixture of surprise and horror as she groped around the hollow. "There!" she cried triumphantly. She walked back to the slightly stunned group, brushing dead leaves off the bandana. "Here you go. I hope that makes up for earlier," she smiled, giving Lavi the strip of cloth. She deactivated her Innocence, small bite marks appearing on her skin
"Yeah…thanks!" he chirped with a blinding Lavi grin, hugging his friend. "That more than makes up for knocking me over. And now Yu doesn't have to kill the squirrel!" Said Yu simply cast a final glare at the tree.
"Can we continue with the mission or do you wish to chase after more woodland creatures?" asked Link, looking stoic as usual. The group nodded and set off after the blond Inspector.
Upon returning home after the mission, those bitten were horrified by the fact that they all had to receive Rabies shots…from Komui. Miranda fainted before they even got her in the room.
A/N 2:Hope you liked it. As to the last bit…wouldn't you be terrified to have to get a shot from Komui? O_o Please Review!