A remix of "Accidental" by EmmaLuLu on AO3 for vldfanficremix2017.
The dining room was quiet. The air was heavy. Nobody mentioned the empty chair where Shiro was supposed to be.
Allura allowed the silence to permeate the air, letting the team stew in the musk. She wondered if this was the right thing to do as Pidge reached over to take the bowl that Coran was offering and her sleeve slipped backwards; she could see bone, wrapped thinly in skin. It was growing purple.
Her lips parted a bit, fork propped between her teeth, before she put the utensil down to break the silence.
"Did something happen?"
Lance shot Keith a look. Hunk shifted in his seat. There was a beat, two, where Pidge pulled her sleeve down to hide the bruise. Allura didn't say anything about the same fingerprint bruises around the younger girl's neck.
She clasped her hands in front of her and rested her jaw on them; she waited, knowing that someone would break. But something had changed since the Black Lion had opened up and Shiro wasn't inside. Nobody spoke up. They stared at their plates. Coran picked at his food in the stillness of the room.
Allura wondered if the paladins were even breathing.
She spared a glance over at the empty seat across the table before turning back to the people before her. This was a game and she refused to rise to the challenge of repeating her question when everyone had heard her the first time. Instead, she asked another because games were easily won if you knew the players as well as she did.
"Where is Shiro?"
She was rewarded when Pidge shot up to pull her shirt's collar away, revealing more purple skin. "I swear! He didn't mean to hurt me! He-"
"Pidge!" Keith's voice cut through the younger and the girl sat back down. She looked like she might cry.
There was a tense moment that Allura waited out. Meanwhile, Coran took a plate, put some food on it, and left the room. When the door closed and Allura had counted the fading footsteps that would go to Shiro's quarters, she let out a small sigh.
"If nobody wants to talk, that's fine. You are all Paladins. You are all capable of making your own decisions and if you choose not to confide in me, then that's your choice to make." She stood up and she felt four pair of eyes follow her ascension. "But know this, I am here and willing to help."
She did not mention that she would not always be there for them. She left before anybody could say anything.
The four pair of eyes never left her back.
That night, the mice whispered to her as she fluffed her pillow and crawled into bed. In the dark, Allura wondered how she should dress tomorrow. Would a bun be more appropriate or would it seem too severe a look?
Something had clearly gone wrong if she had to pull out the bun.
Twisting a lock of her hair, the princess pulled up a holo-monitor that projected a screen in front of her. Settling in to the mice's murmurs, she pressed play and watched the video unfurl before her.
"On your left!"
Lance's voice boomed as a practice drone hovered near Keith who ducked, rolled, and sliced the machine with his bayard in one smooth motion. They high-fived and Allura took note of how their touch lingered before they separated, Lance bounding towards Hunk and Keith darting across to Pidge.
There was movement all over, with Pidge swinging on top of a training robot and downing it with electricity. Allura saw a smile slip up on the younger's face before it faded; Pidge had zeroed in on Shiro who had his face in his hands.
Voltron's leader was shaking.
"End the simulation!" The Green Paladin's voice was followed by loud clanging as the drones dropped one after the other. She took a stumbling step forward to Shiro before Keith's hand came down on her shoulder.
Allura pulled her knees to her chest as Lance also stepped up to stand next to Keith. Their fingers almost touched as Lance asked, "Why'd you stop it, Pidge? We had a good thing going on."
Pidge just pointed at Shiro in response and Allura followed the small arm, the tiny straight finger, connected the lines, and looked at the Shiro on the screen. His head was still in his hands but the shaking had stopped.
"Shiro? Is something wro-" Hunk's question died off as Shiro looked up and into their eyes for the first time since the Black Lion finally showed signs of life.
The Black Paladin's grey eyes were blank.
Allura took in a shuddering gasp even if this wasn't her first time watching the video. She continued to watch Shiro lunge forward on screen. Hunk stood no chance as he was struck down and fell hard.
"Shiro, sto-" Keith's voice strangled out; Shiro had tackled him and twisted his arm backwards before Lance attempted to throw their leader off him. The Red and Blue Paladins wound up in a tangle instead when Shiro had ducked Lance's fist, grabbed the offending arm, and pulled the boy over his head onto the floor with Keith.
Meanwhile, Pidge had stood on the side, stunned, eyes fluttering at the scene unfolding before her. Allura wondered for a brief moment what Trigel would have done in this situation. Would the first Green Paladin have done anything differently?
Her attention was dragged from her musing as something flashed on the screen; Pidge had attempted to use her bayard but it was futile as it spun out of her hand. Shiro had knocked it out when he barreled into her, lifted her up, and slammed her against the wall. Allura could hear the air being knocked out of the small human and the mice collectively pooled around her in comfort when they felt her stiffen.
"Sh-Shiro," gasped Pidge as she clawed at the Galra powered arm holding her neck in a tight hold. "P-plea-please."
Allura counted the seconds it took for Pidge's small hands to slowly drop in defeat; the small Paladin had finally run out of air. Shiro's hands tightened in victory before someone plowed in from the side and he fell.
Keith had thrown himself at the man in an attempt to stop the madness.
Allura watched in silence as Pidge collapsed, gasping for air, while the others ringed around their fallen leader. She stopped the video there, already knowing what happened next.
Instead, she backtracked and rewound the video to pause on the moment where it seemed like Pidge's time was up.
Shiro's face had never changed from its smooth features.
She waited a day. Then two. On the third day since Shiro disappeared into the labyrinth known as the Castle of Lions, Allura woke up and looked through her wardrobe. She chose a pink dress that billowed out before her and carefully wrapped an equally pink sash around her waist. For her hair, she let it out free. At her vanity, she carefully put on her armor- blue on her eyes, pink on her lips, and purple on her ears. She looked down at the mice who nodded their approval. She was ready. Allura took a breath and exited her room.
She didn't look back at the projected screen still paused on Shiro's blank eyes. She had never closed it.
Breakfast was a somber affair. Pidge was wearing a shirt with a high collar, the way she had since the day purple adorned her skin. She looked miserable as she poked at the green goop Hunk had doled onto her plate. Lance and Keith looked helplessly at each other; one of their hands were under the table and Allura suspected they were holding each other tight. Meanwhile, Hunk just shoveled food into his mouth before making a fast track out. Allura wished she could do the same as Coran took a plate and also walked out.
This couldn't last. Enough was enough. So she stood up and felt Pidge's eyes following her out. Her back burned but she ignored it because Shiro had been gone for 54 days and she refused to add the past three days to that count as well.
The team needed its leader. More importantly, Voltron needed its head.
Allura found Shiro at the observatory room. He was staring at the stars. His human hand was gripping the Galra hand in front of him; his fingers were trying to dig into the wires below the iron steel.
She knew he wasn't even aware of what he was doing when he looked down, startled, and forced his hands to his side. She didn't mention the shaking when she walked next to him. She allowed one, two beats of silence where Shiro took a deep breath as if to steady himself. Allura wondered at how heavy her shoulders suddenly felt when she glanced at her second-in-command. He looked haggard and the princess's heart beat faster as a result.
"I didn't mean to hurt her." Shiro's voice was raw, disused, and Allura's hands were suddenly sweaty; she smoothed the front of her dress and continued her watch on the stars overhead.
"But I take full responsibility and understand if you don't want me to lead anymore. I'm a danger to everyone. I-" He cut off, taking a shuddering breath, before continuing. "It would've been better if I never came back."
Shiro looked pained and Allura kept her own hurt off her face because she wasn't surprised that he thought this but hearing it said aloud was something else. She shifted, turning from the stars to look Shiro in the eye, and was pleased to see grey eyes looking back. His face was close and she could see the specks of starlight in his eyes; she wondered what he saw in hers that made him put a hand on her face.
"But I guess if I never came back, I would've lost my chance to see you again." Shiro's hand was still on her face and she leaned into it, her own hand coming up overlap his hand. It was warm.
His next words were halting and it tickled her nose as he whispered, "I'm just going to have to try my best and do better."
Allura didn't break her silence but she did tighten her grip on him, her other hand coming up to Shiro's back to hold him in a hug.
Sometimes, the most enlightening conversations happened without her needing to say a word.
Later that evening, she sat down in her chair and looked at the children around her in the dining room. They were subdued, quiet, and she blinked at Pidge's wrist. It was a fading purple.
Allura said nothing and just cut her food in the silence when the door opened. It was Shiro. He lingered at the door until he was ushered to his seat by Coran. The only sound in the room was the clanking of utensils and the princess fought the urge to laugh at the look on the other four Paladins' faces.
She wondered if this was the moment they truly realized how lost they were without their leader.
There was a beat, two, until Shiro said, "Forgive me. I'm sorry," to his plate.
Allura continued her watch as Pidge answered for the team. "There's nothing to forgive. You were always there for us when we needed you." She looked at Voltron's other limbs, took strength in their presence, and continued. "M-maybe it's time for you to rely on us now."
Shiro's lips curled up. It wasn't a full smile but it was as close as it'll get and the rest of the team took this as an opportunity to speak. As they took turns to give encouragement to their leader, Allura could see Shiro's posture change. His back grew straighter. His shoulders relaxed. The lines around his eyes crinkled.
Shiro looked content for the first time since they dragged him from Zarkon's grasp.
Allura turned back to her plate, not before seeing the Black Paladin mouth the words, "Thank you," to her. She nodded in reply and in her mind, moved the knight piece to stand next to the Queen again on the chessboard.
Yes, this was a game and she might not have won just yet but she did gain back her pieces. She could make do and triumph over the Galra with her roster.
For now, she was just content to see the team's happiness and gentle ways of cheering each other up, glad that she could at least be there for them this time.
- I actually had quite a lot of fun with this one and I really hope the person I'm remixing it from enjoys it as much as I did writing it.
- Reviews are much appreciated!