A/N: Apologies if this is pure filthy trash, I just had to post it before I changed my mind!
With a huff, Jac gave in to the incessant buzzing on the nightstand. She flicked on the lamp and snatched up her phone. It hadn't woken her – the screaming volume of her own thoughts was preventing any chance of that – but she was unimpressed nonetheless.
She leaned back against the headboard and blinked rapidly to adjust her eyes to the change in brightness. The bottle and a half of red she'd drowned that evening in the hope that it would knock her out so she wouldn't have to deal with this shit, sloshed uncomfortably in her gut and made her head throb. She already regretted it. She regretted a lot lately.
The phone vibrated again in her palm and she angrily accepted the call. There was no need to look at the caller ID, she knew exactly who it was.
"I'm outside, can you let me in."
Jac didn't immediately reply, she chewed her lip and dug deep into her conscience for some sign not to do this. The only reason she'd picked up the phone at all was to stop the vibration. Her conscience was however clouded by the source of all bad judgements: her old friend merlot.
"Please."
The tone of raw desperate emotion pierced deep into her usually impenetrable heart. Fuck it. She pulled on her dressing gown and made her way downstairs, bracing herself against the bannister momentarily as her blood pounded against her eardrums.
"Jesus Christ, look at the state of you."
The sight that greeted her on the doorstep was pretty shocking. Zosia March was slumped against the door frame in a low-cut dress the colour of champagne which was wrinkled all over and ripped at the shoulder. Evidence that her hair and makeup had been at one time earlier that day, pristine and primed to perfection was visible beneath its current mess.
Jac absorbed the image for a moment unable to keep her face from contorting with shock? Annoyance? Hard to tell. Then without warning her hand shot out and gripped her junior doctor by her wrist, tugging her roughly inside the hall and away from prying eyes. It was late, but not late enough that someone wouldn't notice a doorstep commotion.
"Why did you come here?"
Jac hissed, dragging the girl perhaps a little too forcefully to the kitchen. Zosia stumbled over her own feet in a pair of expensive looking heels and gripped at Jac's arm with both hands.
Under the bright glare of the spotlights in the modern kitchen, Jac better scrutinised Zosia's face. She didn't look hurt, just obvious charcoal coloured tear tracks down her hollow cheeks. She cringed under Jac's intense stare, her lip quivered as if she might sob again at any moment.
"I've made a huge mistake Jac."
Zosia started, her chest began to heave heavy with anguish. Jac fully expected that would be the case but her words confirmed her suspicions.
"I told you that from the day you accepted his proposal."
Jac raised the wrist she'd been gripping level with their eyes and drew attention to the gold band that now adorned Zosia's fourth finger on her left hand. Jac would be lying if she said her heart hadn't sunk as she felt the cold metal on her finger against her own palm. She had no right to be hurt and this wasn't exactly a surprise but nonetheless she'd quietly hoped Zosia wouldn't see it through.
It was as if she'd forgotten she was wearing it and indeed everything it supposedly signified. Zosia screwed up her face and wrenched the offending rings from her fingers and flung them onto the floor like they burned her skin, the metal clattered and echoed against the tiles.
"Oh grow up Zosia. Taking the ring off doesn't make it less real."
Jac tutted and stooped to pick up the rings. When Zosia wouldn't take them back, she placed them carefully on the counter. They may have symbolised the eternal union of Zosia to another man thus rendering this – whatever this is – even more illicit, but also practically their monetary value was far too high for them to turn to rust under Jac's fridge.
"No no no. I walked out, it's over!"
Jac couldn't help but roll her eyes and doubt her sincerity despite the damning gesture. They'd been having this same argument for months. Zosia March was going to marry drippy Valentine because that's how things are meant to be. Yeah so Jac thought she was far too good and wasted on him but Zosia would get the cliche day she'd dreamed of her whole life, the approval of her father and of society that she was fulfilling her destined role and Ollie would give her anything she ever wanted and they would all live happily. That is how things were meant to be. Not this. Not her here on her wedding night prepared to throw all that away, and for what?
Jac turned her back on the girl with her shoulders slumped forward and her big sad eyes silently pleading. She retrieved two glasses from the cupboard and filled them with water. Rational Jac tried to regain control from tipsy carefree Jac who was the proprietor of bad decisions as the chilled water flooded her dehydrated body but it was a difficult fight.
"Zosia, why did you come here?"
Jac asked again, handing the broken girl the other glass and encouraging her to drink it. She folded her arms across her chest, it took all her might not to reach across and smooth the wrinkled dress or cup her flushed cheek.
"I don't love him! How can I, when all I've thought about all day is you?"
Jac's ice cold heart involuntarily swelled at this statement of victory but at the same time the complication and unbridled emotion of it all made her want to vomit. She looked up and caught Zosia pouting, her full lips so perfectly formed, then she cursed the whole fucking world and everyone in it.
"It's too late Zosia. You made your choice. No going back."
Zosia bravely stepped into Jac's personal space. Her grey eyes were hooded but fixed unwaveringly on her. Zosia moved impossibly closer and gripped the silk lapel of Jac's dressing gown with one hand. Jac found herself unsteady on her own feet and swayed a little, her breath hitching in her throat.
Zosia's other hand stroked gently though poker straight copper hair and tentatively across a sharp porcelain cheek. Their gaze never broke, their breathing synchronised then all but stopped. Lowering her face so that they were practically nose to nose she whispered.
"Just one more night."
Zosia's feet trod a familiar path up to Jac's bed, prepared to dance a familiar dance they'd first embarked on about 6 months earlier. Back then Zosia needed someone and Jac surprised even herself by stepping up to the task. They hadn't meant to get involved in this way, but the chemistry was explosive and the tension that built in the operating theatre spilled onto the ward and reached its crescendo in the bedroom. Then Zosia got back together with Ollie but she couldn't break the habit of falling into bed with Jac. Then the engagement which hit them both pretty hard should have marked the end – for good – yet once again here they found themselves.
Zosia's fingers were tangled loosely with Jac's as she drew her once more into the sordid embrace. The touch providing the source of the tingling that coursed through her whole body.
One more night.
Jac's dressing gown was discarded barely two steps into the room. The feel of the silk gliding over her skin prickled her already highly charged senses. Zosia's fingertips and flattened palms quickly ghosted over the freshly exposed skin, dancing and stroking and scratching. All thoughts of Ollie and the wedding and the possible consequences of her actions were wiped out when she felt Jac suck hard on her neck.
In response Zosia's kiss was forceful. Jac could taste the anguish on her tongue. Zosia was breathy, her teeth sharp. She kissed Jac like they were sharing the very last drop of oxygen on the planet. She manoeuvred them towards the bed and let go of her hold on Jac's tiny waist just as the underside of her knees hit the mattress and she fell breathlessly onto her back. Her fiery red hair fanned out against the duvet round her head like a molten halo.
Zosia stood between Jac's thighs and made sure to catch her eye. She batted the older woman's caressing hands away and made a show of letting the ruined champagne dress pool at her feet. She stood still for a moment in all her beauty and Jac realised she was wearing bridal lingerie. Dainty nude lace that looked so fragile it might rip if she touched it.
Well of fucking course.
She wasn't meant to see this. This was for Oliver. She wanted to care, she wanted to stop and be repulsed by the guilt but the way the moonlight danced off Zosia's skin, the way her thick chestnut hair fell over her shoulders in perfect waves, the sheer look of desire in the girl's eyes, how could she?
Without giving her the chance to overthink it any further, Zosia moved to straddle Jac's thighs and slowly rolled her hips so that her dainty lingerie pressed deliciously against her bare crotch. Jac opened her mouth to moan and Zosia quickly captured it with another searing kiss. She rolled her body again, her undulating hips gathering quite a fast paced rhythm and closed her teeth sharply around Jac's bottom lip knowing her lover enjoyed a little roughness and pain.
Jac's hands crept around to cup Zosia's behind, clutching fistfuls of fleshy cheek and forced her to grind her cunt harder against her own. The friction caused by the lace rubbing against both their clits was causing all sorts of explosions in Jac's senses. She wanted more and more and to cry out and beg but Zosia seemed determined to silence her noise tonight with hot frequent kisses. She canted her hips to grind and rut harder and matched the pace at which Zosia rode her.
The dampness ever apparent in Zosia's knickers gave Jac a sick sense of pleasure. The irony of having her ruin her bridal lingerie while she fucked someone other than the groom was not lost on Jac. Nonetheless she craved more skin to skin contact and hooked her fingers into the elastic of the waistband, peeling it down Zosia's thighs to uncover what hid beneath.
She took the opportunity to flip them over, wedging her own thigh against Zosia's centre and lowering her mouth to the stiff rose pink nipple that peeked through the sheer nude lace. Jac languished it with her tongue, pulling the cup down to suck harder on the erect peak. With Jac's mouth occupied, there was nothing to keep Zosia from crying out and with the combined effect of Jac's strong thigh against her wet pussy and her hot tongue and teeth on her breast, she writhed and moaned rocked her wet core hard against Jac's leg.
"Fuck you're so gorgeous."
Jac rasped in a momentary break from the attention she was giving Zosia's nipples. The younger girl chanced on rolling herself back on top, pinning Jac's hands to the mattress either side of her head. She began to lick and drop kisses along Jac's sternum, trailing her path lower and lower in response to Jac's reaction. As her kisses reached Jac's sharp hip bones she released her grip on her straining hands instead spread wide her thighs to marvel at the glistening sight between them.
She wasted no time in dipping her tongue deep into Jac's cunt. Jac swore loudly, entwining her fingers into Zosia's hair and grabbing rough fistfuls of it as she ate her out with much enthusiasm.
"Fuck yes, good girl. More."
She held down Jac's hips with one hand and reached the other up to palm her right breast and tease the rock hard nipple. Zosia swiped her talented pointy tongue up her slit and sucked hard on her engorged clit with a little graze of her teeth. The power at which Jac's back arched to ride her face almost knocked her off the bed. Zosia looked up at Jac through sultry dark eye lashes and smirked, her nose and chin glistening with Jac's arousal.
The sight alone nearly made Jac come but the girl filled her mouth again with her clitoris and unceremoniously thrust three fingers deep into her cunt and within moments she was done. Zosia March ate pussy far too well for a straight girl. She would be utterly wasted on vanilla Valentine.
She crawled up the bed and lay beside a spent Jac as she caught her breath. Jac hated post coital cuddling but Zosia didn't care. She rolled onto her side and hooked her leg over Jac's and allowed the older woman to gently palm her smooth thighs.
Zosia couldn't stop staring. If this was to be the last night ever she wanted to remember everything. She pressed soft kisses against Jac's sharp collar bone, her tongue darting out to taste the salt of her skin. Jac moaned into her hair, her roaming hands slipped between zosia's thighs, her gentle palming turned to tracing and scratching with her fingertips. Zosia spread her legs wider and Jac's magic fingertips found their way to her prize.
She was wet, wetter than she'd ever been Jac wagered. Jac knew she liked foreplay but she wasn't one to tease. She swirled her finger once through the wet folds then sucked the moan from Zosia's mouth with a kiss as she filled her with her fingers. Zosia clawed at Jac's back like an animal as the fingers buried deep inside her hot cunt curled expertly and made her legs tremble. Jac all the while smirking against Zosia's neck, the girl's hair hid her face. With the addition of a third finger thrust even deeper into the tight hole and increased pressure on the close circles her thumb traced against Zosia's already sensitive clit, the girl gasped and shuddered to her climax.
Neither woman made any attempt to disentangle or move from the position they found themselves in. They were practically cheek to cheek, Zosia's face pressed right into the crook of Jac's neck, their limbs wrapped together impossibly close. They lay above the sheets, filling the dark room with gentle yet laboured breaths. Jac was a cynic but she was also a realist so she knew what would happen if she fell asleep and she hated that it bothered her so much. The slowing of Zosia's breath against her neck suggested the girl was already close to sleep and she involuntarily curled closer to her. Jac blinked slowly and savoured the weight and warmth of the body in her arms. Stay awake and face the inevitable or sleep in ignorance?
Jac woke naturally when the dawn light cut through the slight gap in the curtain. A gentle sweep of her arm across the empty mattress confirmed what she already knew without even having to open her eyes. Downstairs she knew the kitchen counter was bare.