Hi everyone! This is my first Fanfic so please bear with me. This takes place right after The City of Bones, but it does include characters from The Infernal Devices. There are characters and some scenes that will be similar to the books, so as a disclaimer, there will be some spoilers. Also, Clary uses an Alias in the story so her fake name will be put in quotation marks. And last, but not least, I do not own The Mortal Instruments, The Infernal Devices, or their plot and characters.

Prologue

3 Years Earlier:

"Jace you should really go in and see her. I think the sound of your voice will wake her up." Clary said, trying not to sound bitter. Sighing at Jace's lack of response (he hadn't been saying much after he found out that they were siblings) Clary headed back to the Institute.

Clary's life had been pretty horrible these past few weeks: she found out that her mother had been hiding things from her, that her father was the most evil Shadowhunter of all time, and the guy that she liked, was her brother. Not to mention that her best friend is still in love with her, but she isn't in love with him or that her mother, Jocelyn, had recently been found in Valentine's stronghold, and that she was in a coma.

Nothing the doctors tried would wake her mom up and Clary was beginning to give up hope. They tried everything from strange potions to mundane medicine, but nothing seemed to work. Clary thought that if she could talk to her mother and tell her she was okay (even though she hated Jocelyn for not telling her that she was a Shadowhunter) that that would make her get better, but not even that helped. So Clary thought that maybe if Jonathan (or Jace for short) talked to their mother, she might wake up. Besides, her mother had always loved him more. She would constantly hold the box with Jace's hair in it when she thought Clary wasn't looking. But she did. She saw the pain in her eyes on the anniversary of his death. Her mother didn't even look the same on the anniversary of her father's death. Don't be bitter. It's not their fault… just yours. Clary thought. Besides, it can't possibly get any worse. Your mother is practically dead, your best friend hates you and soon your new friends will too and your possible love interest is your FREAKING BROTHER. But that does sort out the whole love-triangle thing, though. She thought with a rueful smile.

Since it was pretty late at night when Clary got back to the Institute, she went straight to bed, but she couldn't sleep. Clary's mind was still filled with the images of her mother, of all the injured werewolves fighting to buy her time and of Valentine jumping through the portal with the Mortal Cup. She also thought of Luke and his first and second-in-command and how they willingly sacrificed themselves for her… and how bloody they were when they died…blood...blood everywhere... She shivered at that memory.

She felt so guilty. So, so guilty. If she hadn't given Hodge the Cup none of this would have happened. She could have just gone on with her life. Sure, they would have eventually found her mother, and that Jace and her were siblings, but at least at that rate, it would be her mother's fault for not telling Clary about all of this and not hers, but that wasn't the case. Instead it was all Clary's fault. All her fault. Now Valentine had the Cup and he was going to raise a child army and kill hundreds of thousands of Downworlders and Shadowhunters who stand in his way.

...

1:30 AM

Clary couldn't take it anymore. She kept tossing and turning but she still couldn't fall asleep. The horrible thoughts that it was all her fault kept plaguing her, minute after minute. Hour after hour.

She had to get out of the Institute.

Out of the whole Shadowhunter world.

There were too many bad memories attached to the Institute. To her new friends. To Jace. It was in that moment that she decided what she had to do. She couldn't stay there any longer; she would just keep thinking back to that day when Jace saved her from dying of demon poison. That day they celebrated her birthday together in the greenhouse. That day they found the Mortal Cup. That day when Valentine took it and with him, all Clary's hopes and dreams. She couldn't face her friends or even Jace, for that matter, let alone the Clave and tell them that she had found, and then lost, the Mortal Cup. She figured that the only logical punishment the Clave could give her was Exile. So she figured, she'd save them some time and exile herself.

Not only did she want to run away from the bad memories, she wanted to hurt her mother after she woke up from her coma. Hurt her the same way the she hurt Clary: not telling her the whole truth and then disappearing without a trace. After deciding that running away would hurt her more than commiting suicide, Clary got up, got dressed and grabbed cash from her purse and nothing else. She didn't want to make it look like she actually ran away; more like she was missing. Vanished into thin air. She then opened up her window and climbed out onto the fire escape. Walking as softly as possible, she made her way to the ground. Once she reached the bottom, she broke into a run. She ran all the way to her old apartment and up the stairs to Madame Dorothea's old apartment. The door was open since there were maintenance men working on it (after the destruction that she and Jace had caused) so Clary slipped inside. Checking to make sure no one was in there (there obviously weren't since it was 2 am, but one can never be too sure.) she made her way to the portal Madame Dorthea protected. She opened the portal and jumped in with her destination being somewhere far away from here.

...

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