Hi again!
I fancied a change from All Roads Lead To You so I decided to upload this which has been sat in my docs for ages. Just to clear things up; Leanne has died in the Victoria Court fire with Kal but Simon had not abused her. Carla and Amy saved though and did not die.
Also...It can be more if anyone likes it so do let me know your thoughts! Thanks again! :-)
Goodbye From Me: Eva
Sister. It was something I always assumed I would never ever have. As a little girl I would play dolls and dress up alone, wishing I had someone to play with; a friend, a sister. Someone to moan about boys to, share secrets and gossip with, I wanted to nick her make up and her clothes. I wanted a sister so badly Leanne and when I got one, I lost her.
Mum always did the best for me as a kid. She'd get up extra early on a school day just so she could braid my hair, make my lunch and walk me to school. God I loved it, my little pink ribbons blowing in the wind as I ran to school, Mum shouting after me.
I started high school by the time you were a married woman. I developed a gobby, loudmouth persona to help get me through the days. Endless days of learning and listening but still I remained alone. Mum began to date Karl and well, we both know how that one ended. I suppose I should say we both 'knew' how that one ended. I guess that is something we will all have to get used to now, speaking about you in the past tense.
Leanne, I wanted you to understand that I never hated you. Well, maybe I did at first but it was because I was jealous. Mum had known you for all of five minutes and yet she loved you just like she loved me. She adored you, right to the end hun and she wasn't the only one. You were the best sister I could have wished for despite waiting over twenty years to meet you. I am so pleased you were my sister and here is why:
We loathed each-other when we first met and once Mum told us both exactly who she was to you. Now I understand why you hated us both, really I did. Mum had abandoned you and given me everything she never gave you. I was also a pain in the backside too. I could have been supportive and caring but no, I was a diva and I flippin' regret it. We said some horrible things to each-other and I also made you feel uncomfortable, unwelcome and unloved. Like when it was Mum's birthday and I declared it was 'Family only'. I watched your face fall and you leave in a rush. What I would give now to see you smile, laugh or call me a bitch like you always did. God I miss you Leanne. Then when Carla ran Mum over, we finally came together as sisters proving how alike we really are. Were. You stood by Mum and allowed her to get to know you better and we became proper sisters for a while too.
Then I had to mess it all up. Even to this day, sat, wishing you were alive I don't know why I had to go there. Why I felt the need to date your ex-husband(Nick, not Peter). Again, I apologise sis. I was foolish and didn't see what that must have done to you. It must have eaten you alive knowing that Peter had been with Carla and I was datinf your other ex. It ended between us pretty quickly but it still happened just like the fire that took you away from us all Lea. The fire spread so quickly and there wasn't enough time to save you. I wish I had been in there, I could have found a way out for you or even stood in the place you had when the roof collapsed and the fire engulfed the flat that you had ran into to save Carla and Amy.
Saved, that is exactly what you did for Nick. You saved him from dying in the crash his own brother caused by nursing him and loving him. If we had been given the chance to do the same with you. No matter how long the journey and how bad your injuries were; we would have taken care of you. Just like you took care of everyone else around you. Me, Simon, Peter, Nick, Mum and just about everyone else.
I don't suppose you would feel the same way about me because you had a sister from the beginning. Toyah says such lovely things about you and you'd love the stories she's been telling us all about you. Still, the stories and memories don't fill the emptiness when you aren't here anymore. We've all realised that. You may not be here, living and breathing the same air as us but you will always be here. Always in our hearts, minds and you'll always have been my sister.
But, I did want to say thank you. Thanks for being there when I needed you. Be it for talks about fashion, blokes or even talks in general. You were the best sister I could have asked for and I hope you know how much you meant to me Leanne.
I would like just you to know that I loved you so much Leanne as my sister and my best friend. I may have only known you for four years but I hope you understood how much I cared for you in those years despite how much of a cow I was . I also want you to know that you brought laughter, tears and happiness to our crazy family and we will still giggle, cry and smile when we think of you Leanne. You will always be my sister. Always and forever.
Goodbye my lovely sis, I will always think of you hunn. Forever in our hearts and always with us. 'Ave fun up there and don't forget us all down 'ere.
Love ya
Eva. Xxxx