Disclaimer: Final Fantasy, all their characters and names are trademark of Square-Enix.

Another one-shot, written in the middle of one of my writer's blocks.

It's normal to look at Cloud's spiky head and think of those cuddly and adorable big birds (well, I think Cloud is also cuddly and adorable… just second to Seph, of course ; ), only this time happens something quite different. Let's say that, for once, Cloud is not the center of laughing.

Hope you like it.

Cloud felt the atmosphere real thick, even with the windows down.

He was in the rear sit of the trunk; in the co-driver seat was General Sephiroth, a hand covering his nose while he tried to breathe the outside air and, driving, there was the origin of such displeasing stench: Zack.

"Well, it's not my fault Lizzie has a taste for rare colognes!" exclaimed at last the black haired man, irritated by his travel companion's behavior.

"Strange is not the word" said Sephiroth with a muffled voice. "Next time better pick a girl who uses her nose!"

"Aw, c'mon! Have you never got an ugly present?"

The General didn't say anything, too busy trying to catch fresh air from the window and wishing that they weren't very far from Junon, their destination. Cloud was not better, though. He was trying desperately not to suffer sick-motion again, and Zack's cologne wasn't helping. It had an acrid scent that clung to one's nose, as if some kind of acid gas was piercing it. The blonde haired boy had the notion of having smelled it somewhere, but couldn't put his finger on it.

A loud bang startled him, and the bumping of the truck made him feel sicker than ever. Fortunately Zack stopped it to see what happened. When the boy could get out of the vehicle, his nose and his stomach were so relieved he let go a sight, the same he heard from Sephiroth.

Zack kicked the side of the trunk. They had got a puncture, and there were no tires.

"How many times do I have to remember you to include an extra tire?" said the silver haired General with his arms folded.

"I know, I know, but the tires looked fine when I checked them t'is morning!"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. "Fine, now we are stuck."

Fortunately they were on a wide space so they could breath.

"Sir" said Cloud tentatively, "what do we do now?"

The General rubbed his chin for a moment. "I could go to Junon and arrange transportation."

"But Seph, how will you do that?" said Zack.

Sephiroth said nothing and reached for one of his pockets, producing a strange and thin instrument.

"It's a Chocobo Lure!" exclaimed Cloud, his eyes wide with surprise.

"Say what?"

"A Chocobo Lure" repeated the cadet. "It works like the Materia, but only if you have a tamed bird, so you don't have to fight monsters."

"Very well, cadet" said Sephiroth with a grin. "I got this from the North Continent's mountains, from and old man who sells them."

He lifted the whistle to his lips and blew softly. No noise came.

"You cannot hear it" said Cloud watching the puzzled look in Zack's face, "but they do."

"Indeed" said Sephiroth. "It will not take too long."

So they waited. The General and the cadet tried not to get in line with Zack and the wind. Soon they could see a tiny point in the horizon.

When it was near, they could see it clearly. It was a black Chocobo (neither Zack of Cloud had had any doubt about the color long before seeing it), with brilliant purple eyes which looked at them with curiosity, before going to his master and rubbing his soft head against him. Sephiroth smiled and tucked the bird behind the ears.

But that was not their day, at least not for one of them.

The wind maybe changed its direction, and the bird lifted the head, startled. It was looking directly to Zack.

"What the…"

He backed away as the big bird started to go straight to him, eyes fixed on the black haired man, and making a purr-like noise.

"Don't move" said the General. "He won't harm you, he surely only wants to play."

"I don't like the way he stares at me" said Zack, still backing away, with a frightened look in his face. The Chocobo had begun to circle him and make strange noises as he extended his wings and fan the air with his tail.

"Excuse me, sir" said Cloud; "did you just say that your Chocobo is male?"

"Yes, why?"

Cloud scratched his spiky head, as he saw Zack starting to run in circles and shouting, trying to avoid the dancing and purring Chocobo. Then something felt into place.

"Yes! Now I remember!" he said, fisting one hand into the other.

"What is it, Strife?"

But Cloud was bent double, laughing aloud. He tried to straighten, but he could not help to giggle while talking.

"Well, sir… that's the coupling dance… the cologne… he thinks Zack's a female!"

Sephiroth took his time to assimilate the information, eyes widened with surprise, and then he started to laugh along with the cadet. Cloud had never seen him even smile, let alone laughing, and a full-bellied, deep laugh to be correct. Then he too tried to serene but with more success than the cadet.

"Zack!" he shouted, cupping his hands in front of his mouth "Don't run, he won't hurt you! He only wants to mate with you!"

"Whaaat…!?" the other wailed. Now he began running faster than ever and covering his rear with both hands, while the Chocobo seemed to be even more enticed by the chase.

That was too much.

The General and the cadet were almost on their knees, leaning one against the other.

"Sir…" said Cloud near crying, his sides hurting "shouldn't we help him?"

"Why?" said Sephiroth whipping the tears away with one hand, the other wrapping his waist. "At last he has found a partner who can use the sense of smell!"

Poor Zack… theehehehehe.

This things happen with animals so, beware of your scent and the perfume you use!

AN: I don't know if the Chocobo Sage sells that Chocobo Lure thing, or even if it exists. I played the game waaaaayyyy long ago and I don't remember well some details. It just fitted in the story.