AN: So I don't wanna be rude, I just feel like there's a lot more to Idiot than St. Jesus. I feel like pairings aren't really being explored, so here I am and I'm gonna say this, I WILL WRITE ANYONE WHO ASKS ANYTHING THEY SO DESIRE FOR THIS FANDOM AS LONG AS IT IS NOT AND AS LONG AS IT CAN BE DONE AS A ONE SHOT. I like writing dirty smut and songfics and drabbles and things that lead to nowhere. Poetry could be fun, we'll see how that goes though...

Anyhow, everything will probably be different pairing if there is a pairing at all.

This one is Johnny/Heather. Takes place mostly pre-Idiot but goes int Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

Reviews are loved.

Gimme shit to write!

Gracias

She's had enough. She's slipping back into her jeans and trying desperately, endlessly to fix her hair into something half way decent, but after five minutes, she does what she almost always does and she settles for a ponytail. Will's out, done, too drunk and too high to even try to hold her after they're done "making love" or "screwing" or whatever the fuck they call their relationship anymore. She doesn't want it, she wishes she could throw it away because it's so completely hopeless to even try with him anymore.

She loves him, Heather swears to fuck that she does. Will's great, he's laid back, he doesn't care if she opts for jeans and ponytails, he's sensitive, the kind of guy that she can hold all day and he'll sit there and smile and let her comfort him, he's trust worthy, if something were to happen to her, even in their worst of moments, Will would back her up. But Will is the most terrible person she has ever met because her Will is the one who feels a compulsive need to destroy her.

They have great days where they're hugging and talking and just having a fucking good time and they crack open a beer or two and it's fine and dandy.

There are bland days, days of "whatcha cooking?" "carrots" "oh that's nice", days where he looks up when he hears her light pitter patter of footsteps across their kitchen and nods at her like he really doesn't want to talk but he acknowledges her, and that's okay, because all couples have days like those, right?

And then there are fucking terrible days. Like today. And they're not normal terrible days, they're beyond that. They're not "fucking bitch" "asshole" "I never liked you anyway" kind of days, no, no, it's far worse than that. He's smoking a joint before she's even up and she knows the viscous circle is beginning but she tries so damn hard to ignore it because for better or for worse, she's with Will so she wants to try to make it work. He starts drinking and by noon he's too uninhibited to go out in public so they romp around, they fuck and that's when she hears it, always. She'll be going down on him and he'll grip the sheets and whisper that fucking name "Tunny." At first, she thought it was "honey", that very first time and Will's never had a pet name for her, so she loved it, but then he became louder and she started to hate it. Her mouth is wrapped around his cock and he's got his eyes closed and he's whispering his best friend's name cuz he's too out of it to realize what the hell he's doing. She's confronted him about it, because really, what the hell else can she do, but all he does is get this stupid look on his face like he's confused or act defensive or crack open another beer which leads an end to their conversation and sends her out of the house with a hoodie on, trying to fight tears back until Will calls her up and begs her to come back home and then they fuck, again and everything starts over.

But not today. No, she's leaving while Will lays on his side and she doesn't care, he's getting exactly what she deserves and she's finally taking exactly what she wants.

The walk isn't long, she's at Johnny's house in five minutes, but she's crying a bit and she can't help it, who could? It doesn't matter though, because regardless of tears or of anything, she and Johnny have been friends for as long as everyone here has, since diaper days and he will comfort her where no one else can, where Tunny will bite his lips and find himself completely uncomfortable at her tears, where Alysha will try to kill Will and Libby will tell her she can to better, Johnny will invite her inside, get her a beer, hold her tight and tell her that everyone's full of shit anyway, her, him, Will, Tunny, all of them and it's okay and he won't take sides and right now, that's what she needs, she needs someone neutral. She needs him. He twines his hands through her hair and she grips tightly on his shirt and she whispers "it was always you, you know? At least, it has been for a while, I've wanted to be with you for so long...I'm falling for you Johnny. Hard." She breathes and she's not sure he hears her, because for a minute, there's no reaction, but then, he pulls her up and places her face between his hands and kisses her until she's not sure whether to breathe in or out and she let's things go much farther than they should, but she doesn't care because Johnny's hands are warm and calloused and she trusts them, and when he kisses her, he's kissing all of her, they aren't these shallow, little one step closer to an orgasm kisses, when she touches him, it's her touch he's looking for, when he's on the edge and he's choking out a name, it's hers and when they're finally nothing more than a sweaty, sexy mess, he's looking into her eyes and telling her how beautiful she is and not imagining anyone else.

And they could be perfect, they could live like that forever.

"I'm gonna leave Will, he can be with whoever the hell he wants, I want to be with you." She says and he's got this conflicted look on his face, but after a while, he strokes her hand.

"I wanna be with you too." He kisses her forehead and even if it's bro's before hoes and all that shit, Heather's more than that and maybe, with her, suburbia won't be so bad.

But it is.

She missed her period.

And she hasn't touched Will in two months.

"He's going to know!" Heather shouts, she's got her head in her hands as she shoves the five or whatever pregnancy tests at Johnny and he looks like he's about to faint. "Fuck, say something!"

"Heather...I..."

"Johnny, he's not stupid. He's drunk, so I can probably tell him we fucked when he was super high, but...that's on you."

"What?" People are talking and cheering and giggling about leaving for the city, no one's paying attention to them. She grabs Johnny's hand and she pulls him into the bathroom and throws the pregnancy tests to the ground and takes his hand, very gently in hers.

"Do you want this? Because I can tell Will it's his...I wouldn't but if you can't do this fatherhood thing, let me know and I'll let Will decide whether or not he wants to raise this kid..." She says and she feels him shake beneath her in a very un-Johnny way, he squeezes her hand and shakes his head.

"What about you coming to the city? We could start a family there, have more time to break the news to Will..."

"No. We can't afford it, you know that."

"Heather, I wouldn't even know the first thing about being a dad." Excuses, she's shaking now too. She feels the tears and he presses his lips down hard onto hers, closes his eyes and they melt into one last kiss.

"I love you." She says and he hesitates.

"Heather..." His eyes say what his mouth won't and she rushes out of the bathroom while the others celebrate this new trip to the city and she grabs Will's hand, takes him aside and whispers her condition to him.
She isn't surprised when Will panics. She is surprised when he says he'll raise this kid with her. Funny, she thought he'd want his fucking boyfriend. She sure as hell wants hers.

She isn't surprised when Johnny joins the crowd and acts pissed at her for keeping Will behind. She isn't surprised at how damn good of an actor he is, because he fools even her with his loathing and irritation and complete lack of sympathy. She is surprised when she watches as he's still shaking and he gives her this one last look as he leaves her and Will at the 7-Eleven. Funny, she didn't think he'd ever feel bad about losing her. But she feels awful about losing him.

And then that's it.

She lets her hormones get the best and she smiles at Will and laughs at his jokes and maybe she's as big of a bitch as everyone thinks she is. Because when she kisses him and smiles and laughs with him, he is Johnny in her mind, the way she was Tunny in his.

And that makes her sure, she's had enough.