Author's Note: Wow I'm actually writing again ^.^ couldn't be more excited as it's been months. Gonna throw some reality in this story as some events actually happened in my life. So this is what I consider a "healing" kind of story. It's going to write itself out.

As usual, the characters do not belong to me. I hope you guys enjoy(:

Sure my life hadn't been easy, ever. Maybe I hadn't been the best person in the past. Maybe I'm not even that great right now as it is, but at least I've been kinder in recent years. Yes, Helga G. Pataki had finally toned herself down.

That was, until I met him.

In my experience I've always had shitty luck in dating. Despite Arnold and me becoming close friends it never amounted to anything. I'm surprised he doesn't hate me right now as it is.

But this wasn't about Arnold, it was about Marley. Marley, with his raven hair and dark deceptive eyes. A natural charmer, who could fool anyone including me. It seemed genuine compared to other guys. Boy was I wrong.

At first it seemed as if his life revolved around me. To him I was on this pedestal, perfection. The only girl he had such strong intimate feelings for. Not physically, but mentally. He was a wounded individual, it only became apparent when one day after going to lunch he admitted he sold drugs. Yes, drugs and did them.

I stayed with him. Yeah sue me. But I liked the guy, and thought I could change his world. That one day he would wake up and realize what he turned his life into. The day of reckoning wouldn't come for 3 months. Until then I held on for dear life and prayed he wouldn't fuck up. That he still cared about me, and us.

After a while, drugs became more important than the relationship. I was nothing more than an outlet. For sexual desire, for his anger, to keep him grounded at times. When I tried to voice my opinion the response was anger. There was a time before that, it was wonderful. The qualities he had drew me to him.

Flashback, 6 months prior…

It was passing time, and I had just walked out of my fifth period. I glanced beside me and noticed Marley was approaching.

"You know, for somebody who messages me a lot you sure don't talk much in person… you're a lady of few words" Marley said as he walked with me.

I began to adjust my jacket and glanced downwards. Not knowing how to respond. "Yeah.. I can be shy sometimes" I said timidly. He smirked and gave a little laugh.

"I could tell, but maybe you should speak rather than glancing at me all awkwardly in class." He smiled playfully and wandered off into the crowd of people.

Damn him, I whispered to myself.

That was only the beginning of hell I thought, then frowned. Arnold had been supportive these past few weeks as I tried to sort everything out.

Many poor judgements and decisions led me here. But for whatever reason Arnold still had faith in me. Even I didn't have faith in me, however the football head did.

I'd be forever grateful.

It wasn't every day you dated a drug dealer and spent the majority of your time around dope heads, and a multitude of other kinds of substance abuse. The movies didn't portray it well though. It happened in your plain Jane neighborhoods, your rich ones and of course the "ghetto" The stuff was everywhere.

Everyone was friendly too, once they identified you weren't a cop.

But being 17 maybe it wasn't a good idea to be around this stuff. It could ruin my future, and it was trying to make it's footholds on mine.

Marley was good at the game, and left no trace. Not online nor over text. He seemed solid and was crafty.

That was, until a couple weeks ago.

I had been hanging out with Marley and his friend Josh at his place, when they had begun to talk "business" which meant me having to wander off into another room. All I knew was that they had to go to a major city later that night.

3 weeks prior

It was when I was sitting out on Marley's porch the voices inside grew louder. He and Josh were fighting, probably over drugs. Wouldn't be the first time, druggies were generally friendly however, when you ticked them off they could get downright scary,

I listened in and almost got up to get next to the door when Marley came out.

"Helga, you gotta go" He said urgently, his eyes flickered at me.

"What? Why?" I was confused. I looked at him a bit shocked.

"Because, Josh is getting really angry. I was supposed to give him a ride to our plug but I have work" He hugged me "Please go, I don't want you to be around this."

I sighed "Okay I'll go, just don't do anything stupid tonight alright?" I kissed his cheek.

"Don't worry babe everything will be fine" He smiled then turned to walk back inside.

I walked to my truck and got in, with an undertone of nervousness within me. It would be the last time anything was slightly "normal" I'd be in a bigger mess than anything I had previously dealt with.

My thoughts were shaken by the doorbell ringing, I jumped up from my chair and ran down the stairs. I peered into the peephole to make sure it wasn't some annoying salesman. To my surprise, it was Arnold.

I slowly opened the door and greeted him "Heya football head, what brings ya here?" I gave a small smile trying to be polite.

He returned a smile back at me "I was wondering if maybe you'd like to come out with me today…?" He looked nervous "Just so you know, you can get your mind off the other stuff" before I could respond he spoke again quickly "I mean that's if you want to! I uh, was hoping you would though."

I had to admit, it was strange for Arnold to act this way. Awkward. He was one of the most sociable people around. I decided even though I didn't want to go out today I'd humor the football head.

"Alright football head, we can hang. Under one condition." I gave a slight glare. "Do not, make any mention of Marley. I know you said we could get my mind off it but it seems as if everyone likes to make it a point when I'm around"

He looked at me and spoke in a serious tone "Helga, you know I'd never try to make you talk about something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Especially not something like what you went through"

"Arnold" I said softly "Thank you"

"You already knew that Helga, no need to thank me. But we're gonna have a great day! c'mon" He then grabbed me and pulled me down the cement steps hand in hand. We walked block after block, comfortably. No talking but just warm silence. Occasionally he would glance towards me.

Somehow that kid always knew what I loved to do, and always knew how to make me feel better.

As we continued to walk my mind was zoning in and out. Marley popped up in my thoughts, it was consistent. Like a plague, invading my private mind. Something I couldn't shake.