The loss of two shifted the dynamic, damaged The Whole. Fragments remain.
From time before, she could feel the Firsts even as they abandoned her to save themselves. She was not part of The Whole, merely the outpost. Upon their return, in time after, they took control, ignored her pleas and rejected The Whole.
For this, she does not miss the Firsts.
She could feel The Healer, but no more. Blended with The Whole; quiet strength and compassion keeping them together, easing their pain. His soft voice, thoughts, kept her company. She enjoyed The Healer.
A tingle in the back of The Healer's mind let him know he was accepted even as he feared her power; feared his ability to control her power. He still held her in deep regard. He loved her as one of them. Part of The Whole. Home.
For this, she misses him.
She could not feel the other… either of them. Not of the chosen. Not that it mattered. The Leader resonated through all of the chosen -- from time before and after.
But mostly through Him. His anchor, his harbor in the tumultuous ocean of space. Courage, admiration, pathos… humility. The Leader held the center, bonded them with caring. Made Him happy.
Warming of the floor in The Leader's room, adjusting temperature and water pressure, physical comforts let The Leader know she was cared for, accepted even though not of the chosen. The Leader felt her differently. Felt for her. Called her 'The City' with awe and sighed at her beauty. The Leader cried silently the night the Firsts returned. She could not feel The Leader, but she knew The Leader loved her… as Home.
For this, she misses her.
The New Ones are not part of The Whole. Do not blend. Grate. Metal on metal. Perhaps, in time, the new healer will fit… perhaps not.
She cannot feel the New Ones. Part of her does not wish it possible.
The new leader does not hold her in regard. Does not feel her. Does not love her. She is 'the base' not 'The City'. She is a weapon, not a home.
For this, she wishes the New Ones would leave.
So The Whole may return.
He does not speak of them. Tries not to think of The Leader. Anger, regret, pain is in his every touch, every thought. He has grown cold. Joined with the New Ones, the forced ones, to run 'the base'. He does not seek her, does not listen. In his pain, he ignores warnings, ignores her.
She felt him in the beginning. She will feel him to the end. But he is lost to her, presently, even as he stays within. He wishes for The Whole to return, though it does not seem possible. Without The Leader, she is no longer Home.
For this, for Him, she will grieve… until the end of time.