Title: Someone Else's Face
Author: Cecil Kain Cerberus
Setting: Right before Cosmos gets roasty-toasty.
Reason for writing: I'm not a WoL/Cosmos shipper. Never was. Even if the game might pair them up, I just never saw the two beyond master and pawn. And sure, when Duodecim came out, people probably shipped them harder, saying, 'Oh, they use to be husband and wife. Now they belong to together!' Yeah, well, that just sits very wrong with her. First of all, Cosmos and the Warrior are both manikins. That's basically like being clones. And I don't know about you, but Cosmos's behavior during the beginning of the cycles was somewhat resentful, at least to me. So, I decided to stick the nail in the coffin and give my reasoning for hating the pairing WoL/Cosmos in the form of one-shots. Someone Else's Face sums up what I basically think what Cosmos thinks about on a daily basis. Which is pretty messed up. Makes you feel sorry for the lady.
Cosmos's face fell slightly as she watched her warriors speaking to each other, most lost in conversation of their recent adventures, new memories, or perhaps new secrets that needed to be shared.
Away from the party, the Warrior of Light marched towards her, his head held high, Crystal in hand. Victory, it seemed, was assured, at least for her warriors.
But Cosmos knew otherwise.
She knew what obtaining the Crystals meant. She had known all along, back in the 12th cycle. For one reason or another, she managed to keep her memories of her broken past, even after all the purifications. It was like a ghost, haunting her every hour, reminding her of what she was.
And what she could never be.
"Cosmos." The Warrior of Light's call beckoned her from despair. Looking up, she saw the strength and determination in his eyes.
And the love. The ever consuming love that he felt for her.
Trying to focus her thoughts elsewhere, Cosmos asked, "Have you all found your Crystals?"
The Warrior nodded solemnly. "Yes. And it was thanks to you that we were able to defeat Chaos's forces along with retrieving the Crystals."
"That is good…" Cosmos looked down again, averting her gaze for a moment. She heard the Warrior shift above her, his armor clanking. "Cosmos?" he asked, his voice laced with concern. Waving her hand dismissively, Cosmos replied softly, "You must return to the others. The final battle will begin shortly."
Nodding at her command, the Warrior placed his hand over his heart, something that he had always done, and left her to her own devices.
The calm before the storm. Such a fragile thing it was. Cosmos watched with sadness as the other warriors seemed excited and relieved to be so close to the end. If only they knew the truth.
Yet despite the coming gale, there was also relief for Cosmos. Relief in the sense that she no longer had to look at the dawn of the next day. It was coming to an end soon. Her pain and misery would end, by the hands of the god of discord himself.
Her eyes still on her warriors, she felt her mind drift to one in particular.
The Warrior of Light. A nameless knight that gallantly faced any foe for her sake. In the beginning, when he finished arrived alongside Prishe, Cosmos felt the first pangs of true fear well up inside of her.
Had he known the truth? Does he know her for what she truly is? Thankfully, he had no memories, and thus, posed no threat. Still, there was lingering bittersweet nostalgia whenever she was near him, the memories of another forcing themselves upon her every time she looked at his face, and saw the passion in his eyes.
No, this love would forever be unrequited. For as long as Cosmos lived, she had kept her distance as best she could from him. He was a pawn, nothing more, she would continuously tell herself. He wasn't someone special, someone important in her life.
And yet still, the memories taunted her. He was her husband, in a different life. Not so, she would reply back. He was not him, and she was not her. Cosmos was her own self, and the Warrior was another man. They were not the same being, never would be.
Perhaps that was why she denied the feelings of warmth she unconscious felt towards him. She couldn't, wouldn't acknowledge those bold declarations in her heart. She could never do such a thing.
While she bore the face of another woman, she was not that woman. She would never be that woman, nor did she ever want to be that woman. She was not kind, nor compassionate like her. She was a loving mother, an endearing wife, a passionate scientist seeking truth. She believed she held none of the traits of that other woman. Yes, she cared for her soldiers, but she only cared for them like a gentle-hearted general would towards his men.
Nothing was intimate. Lightning was right. Cosmos was cold. She liked being cold. It was safer that way. She wasn't like that woman, then.
And that woman was dead. That woman was gone. And so was that woman's husband.
The Great Will. The Puppeteer of this masquerade. Cid of the Lufaine.
Thinking about him made her blood boil, but at the same time, it made her heart swoon. His name did many things to her soul and body, and Cosmos found herself hating him even more, loving him even more for such whirlwinds of emotions.
She often wondered, after seeing the Warrior for the first time, if this nameless man was a gift or a jinx placed upon her. Did the Lufaine wish to torture her for her rage, or bless her with her feelings of love? Was it a way of amending his wrongs, or did he just not see her as he saw his wife?
On the subject of the Warrior, Cosmos recognized a multitude of different emotions towards him. One strange feeling in particular caught her attention.
Envy? Perhaps it was. The green-eyed monster had finally shown its face, it seemed, and Cosmos understood why.
She was jealous of the Warrior. Jealous of his inability to remember his past, to remember what he truly was, and where he had truly come from. Unlike her, he had no memories to weigh him down, no dark truths to conceal behind a veil or a façade. He simply was, and, for as long as the memories do not return, will always be.
And yet, there was another emotion towards him that she felt, the opposite of envy. Kinship. As if, because their roots and purposes were the same, they shared a common ground. A familiar story to share and relate, to feel empathy and compassion towards.
Another paradox of emotions to deal with. Cosmos felt the whirlwind of emotions towards him the same way she felt towards the Lufaine.
She hated both of them for making her feel this way. But she also loved them for making her feel alive.
Standing up, Cosmos began to walk over to her warriors. Soon, the hurricane would end. Soon, she would no longer be haunted by these paradoxes, cursed with these pasts that were not hers.
She could finally be her own self, her person, and no one would be pulling her strings. She could choose her own destiny, be what she wanted to be.
Yes, it was selfish. Yes, it was foolish. By this action, she would only cause more harm to her heroes. But it was a far greater courtesy for them to see her burn. After all, she was the reason they were here.
She was their curse. That feeling only made her different from that woman. That woman wasn't a curse to her husband or son. But Cosmos was. Cosmos was a leech, a tumor that needed to be removed.
With her death, they could move on. With her gone, he would be free as well. And she would be free from both of them.
A soft smile came upon her face as she approached the warriors of harmony. Selfish, yet selfless at the same time. Or maybe she was more selfish than she granted herself to be. It didn't matter.
Not even when Chaos came to torch her. Not even as she was burned alive, seeing her warriors in pain.
Not even when she saw a trickle of a tear on the Warrior's face.
She was finally free.
Yes, she was selfish. Not like her.
Her own, personal self. And only she would know it.