Title: Mirror, Mirror On The Wall ...

Rating: PG - only because of mild swearing!
Category: Humour - I think. I'm on a sugar high.
Summary: Draco Malfoy talks to himself in the mirror!
Spoilers: None really ... I know it does not say whether DM gels his hair or not in the books, so if there are any spoilers it is from the movie.
Disclaimer: I do not own DM or any talking mirrors. They belong to JK Rowling.



It was five thirty in the morning and everyone was fast asleep. Apart from one Draco Malfoy, that is. He was the only one crazy enough to get up at such an unearthly hour, splashing cold water on his face to bring himself back into the world of the living.

A bright and breezy voice called out, "Good Morning!"

Draco glared at the mirror whilst grabbing a towel. Drying his face, he replied, "A mirror should not be that joyful."

The mirror muttered resentfully. "Greg always wishes me a good day. You spoil it!"

Draco grinned. "My aim in life!"

If the mirror could grin it would have been radiant. "That's a beautiful smile! You should show it off more often."

"You sound like a muggle photographer." Swift reflexes quickly removed the smile.

The mirror did not know what to think - it was shocked out of its magical mind. "You spend goodness knows how long on your hair but you will not smile? When I was situated in the Ravenclaw common room your mother always had a wonderful smile upon her face."

"Well, everything is different now."

"Isn't that so."

Draco edged away from the mirror slowly. It was starting to scare him. He suddenly turned and bolted.

"What about your hair?" Shouted the mirror at the disappearing figure. Draco turned and smiled.

"I think I am going to leave it natural, today." He waved goodbye, wondering all the time what on earth was he going to do with all the extra time he now had on his hands.


Draco decided to go outside and complete some of his homework; it wasn't like he had anything better to do. It was very mind clearing outside so early. He sat down on a patch of grass and pulled out his Charms essay.



After twenty minutes of trying to push his hair out of his eyes, he gave up. Every time he did that action he became increasingly more frustrated. Since when had his fringe grown so long? One of the many mysteries in life, he decided. One of those included the mystery of how on earth did that mirror get such a personality? He did want to gel his hair back, but then he would have to face that mirror ... and he really did not want to do that. Draco sometimes did not have a lot of courage, that much he could admit to. But just because he did not have much courage did not mean that Draco Malfoy was a scaredy cat.



Half an hour later, Draco checked his watch and made his way towards the Great Hall.

"Oh, my God!"

Oh, my God, Draco repeated silently. Pansy.

"Your hair!"

Now, of course, everyone - which thankfully as it was so early, was not many - had to turn around.

"What did you do?" Pansy's voice was becoming higher.

Draco glared at her. "I did not put any gel in my hair this morning - I have ran out."

Pansy looked both shocked and sceptical. "Since when do you forget to re-stock?"

"Since today," was his short reply as he picked up a couple of slices of toast and walked out of the hall with as much dignity as possible.



He almost ran through the corridors down to the Slytherin common room and to the bathrooms. Damn, Greg was there.

"Have a good day, mirror!"

"Thank you, Greg. See you tonight."



Draco quickly hid round a corner as Greg walked out and down the corridor. Without a backwards glance, Draco rushed into the bathroom and stormed up to the mirror, practically breathing fire.

"How dare you make such a mockery of me!"

The mirror spoke very calmly, as if it was speaking to a toddler. "Just two hours and you are ready to collapse? Is the world coming to an end?"

Draco started to pace up and down. "If Pansy acts like that how is everyone else going to react?"

"You think a lot about yourself if you think that everyone notices you. And it IS only hair, Draco." It said this almost motherly.

"It is not only - " Draco cut himself off short, realising just how vain he sounded. "I could - CAN - carry on like this for a day. It does not worry me a bit ...Honest!" He added, due to the fact that the mirror was remaining dangerously quiet.

"Er, Draco?" The boy in question twirled around to see a very concerned looking Vincent poking his head around the door. "Don't you have to fix your hair?"

"It is remaining how it is," Draco growled at the larger boy and stomped off. It did not help matters that they had Care of Magical Creatures first.



Vincent smiled at Greg, who, for all his size, managed to appeared silently at his side as Draco had stormed off. "What are we going to do with him?"

Greg simply shrugged. He didn't even think about trying to understand the complex inner workings of his friend's brain. "Hi, mirror!"

"Greg, good morning again!"



They all gathered around for their lesson, which was situated in the area of Hagrid's hut. For once, everyone had arrived on time.

Apart from the teacher.



A female voice, most likely Granger's, muttered, "I hope Hagrid is not having any problems with one of his creatures - you know what he is like."

Now, Draco, being the annoying guy that he is, would have normally piped up - it was usually great fun. But not today. Definitely not today. He would be the one that they would take the micky of.


Hello everyone! Sorry, I ha' a bit of a problem with Tammy."

Tammy?

Hagrid continued, oblivious to the worried looks upon his students' faces. "She was a present from my Uncle as a going away gift - I was delayed as she was tryin' to bite her head off." Hagrid grinned. "She is a beaut though!" He motioned them towards his hut. "I'm only goin' to let yeh in a few at a time - I'm su'pose to be careful."

Draco stepped back. Everyone else looked kind of nervous, the shuffling of feet only unheard by the deafest of people.

Hagrid tried some encouraging words. "She is not any taller than me!"

That includes many things, half-giant! Thought Draco angrily. Suddenly he noticed that everyone else had taken another step backwards. "Malfoy! Well done. Who is goin' with yeh?" Pride made him step forward. He turned around and asked a silent question to the two boys now behind him. They gave a small nod each.

"Vinny and Greg."

"Okay, then!"



Inside the hut it was a lot larger than it appeared outside - but it felt much smaller due to the size of all the furniture. But Draco, Greg and Vincent were not really concerned about taking this all in.

In front of them was a three-headed snake, orange with black rings along its body and measuring around eight feet long, who at the moment was trying to eat one of its heads.

Draco smiled, all his anger forgotten, ignoring the shaking boys beside him. "She's gorgeous!"

Hagrid looked like he had just found a long lost kindred spirit.



At the end of the lesson - which most of it had only involved sitting on the grass waiting to be dismissed - Draco told his best friends to go to lunch before him. He then slowly walked over to where Hagrid was standing.

He stopped fifteen feet away - Potter, Granger and the Weasel were talking to Hagrid in hushed tones.

"Did you find your mother?" Granger asked.

"I am not sayin' nothin'. Yeh know I can't."

The Weasel began to tug at Granger's sleeve, making her look over to where Draco was standing. She was then dragged away. Potter suddenly turned to face Hagrid. "She said that although she likes the name Tammy, could you give her other heads names? She gets confused otherwise."

"I'll keep tha' in mind, Harry." Potter then sprinted off towards his friends.



Without turning, Hagrid asked Draco, "How long have you taken care of snakes?"

"Always known them - instead of a Puffskein, I got a grass snake. A - friend - of the family has an interest in them."

Hagrid turned and nodded. "Do yeh want to name the other two heads?"

Draco nodded excitedly - his hair falling into his eyes. "Damn hair - " he stopped himself. "Sorry, sir."

Hagrid shrugged it away. The kid was fourteen after all. Hagrid just looked at his own hair mournfully, but his girlfriend liked it so he couldn't complain. With a sigh he walked into his hut.



As Draco discussed how to look after Tammy-Castra-Qamra with Hagrid, he tried to swallow his envy - with absolutely no success. How come Potty gets to talk to them? I bet he doesn't appreciate them like I do. He absently patted Qamra, the dreamer of the three heads.

Draco voiced a thought he had been mildly concerned about since he had first set eyes on the snake. "Do the ministry - or even just Dumbledore - know about you owning a Runespoor? Because they are only available on the black market nowadays."

"Only Dumbledore."

Well, at least someone knew.



Draco ran to the main castle towards Ancient Runes, just making it via the Great Hall to grab something to eat.

All was silent as they tried to translate an inscription. Half way through the lesson, Granger suddenly spoke. "I know what's different!"

Everyone turned to look in her direction, concerned for her sanity. She lightly blushed and became deep - very deep - in her translation. Hopefully, she thought, no-one will realise that I'm already done.



Draco was starting to get annoyed as he looked up for the fifth time. Someone was staring at him. The next time he looked up he found them. It was Granger. Was she? ... She was! She was laughing. A glare made her laughter audible.

"Maybe you should go and see Madam Pomfey, Hermione," a nervous Ravenclaw, by the name of Cornfoot, instructed her. She shook her head in reply. She was just fine.



At the end of the lesson, Draco stopped Granger from exiting the classroom by blocking her path. "Do I ever insult your hair?"

"Er - yes!"

"I have not!"

Granger just shrugged. "It's a bit flyaway, isn't it?"

"Hence the gel," he explained patiently.

"Why no gel?"

"A too talkative mirror." Draco felt and looked offended. "Why so many questions?" And how come it felt like she had the upper hand in this conversation?

"Your hair was an amusing object in a very boring lesson."

Draco gasped dramatically. "A lesson 'boring', and not just that but 'very boring'? what has the world got to?"

There was a smile on Granger's face that should only belong to a Slytherin, when she said, "I'm just happy that I have a free period, while Harry and Ron have Divination. Ha!"

"I take it you're not a believer," said Draco, laughing.

Granger shook her head and as she knew there was not any point in moving (her wand was stupidly placed at the bottom of her school bag) she decided to sit on one of the desks. "It's a load of bullshit. Madam Trelawney has only made two predictions that have come true - TWO. And she got a pay rise for it." Granger shook her head in disbelieve. "Not much of track record."

Draco say on the desk in front of her, saying, "Well, I've done better then her, then." A puzzled look was wiped off Granger's face as he (once again) blew his hair out of his eyes.

"You need a trim."

"So do you."

Granger inspected her ends. "Maybe."

"Try a shorter style, it'll keep it under control." Draco couldn't believe himself - giving advice to a member of the dreamteam.

"People never listen to their own guidance." Granger was starting too sound too similar to an annoying mirror he knew. It was time to end this conversation.

Draco rolled his eyes in response. "So true!" He pushed his hair out of his eyes one final time and left the classroom - Granger's giggles following him every step of the way.



After an uneventful dinner (apart from the giggles still coming from an hysterical Granger), Draco purposely headed towards the bathrooms.

Before the mirror could utter a single word, Draco proudly announced, "I survived for an entire day. Ha!" Without realising it he had imitated Granger.

"Congratulations - " was that a hint of sarcasticism? " - Is the gel going back in?"

Draco pondered for a moment before answering. "Nah. It is quite nice outside at six in the morning. My father keeps telling me that I don't get enough air in my lungs."

The mirror pleaded. "You will keep talking to me? No-one is more - interesting - than you are."

"I'll take that as a complement."

The mirror ignored him.

"Bye!" Draco shouted at the mirror, grinned, and ran to the common room.



The mirror giggled to itself. It was Narcissa all over again.





A/N: Just saying that I'm NOT a Hermione/Draco shipper - just that out of the dreamteam, Hermione is probably the only one who would speak to him in a civilised manner. With either Ron or Harry you would get a shouting match, and today I'm not in a very shouty-matchy kinda mood. TTFN, and have the usual virtual cookie on the house! I have chocolate chip and strawberry ... yummy.