Her birthright, that of which she has earned after fighting for the position of such a lowly form. The bronzed wolf howled to the rising moon, crying for the one she would never have. The mate she could never take; alerting all dangers to her whereabouts didn't worry her, didn't even faze her.
Why? Why am I to be ebony on an ivory sheet?
The members of the small rag-tag pack growled at the loud, disturbing noise she emitted. Nobody came to comfort her as they did with Angela, after her first bastard, hybrid pup died, or as they did Roy, who couldn't see as well as he should, old as he may be.
She got nipped at, growled at, shunned completely. Slumping down for the night, looking upon her fellow wolves, noticing how sweetly they all slept, and how she seemed to be excluded from all they did.
Surrounded, but nobody's here.
Contorted, picture perfect.
Feeling as empty as any outsider would, sleep came hard for the she-wolf, crashing into her like the large ships that the Noble's seem to favor. The day had totally ebbed, and she knew then, that she would get no easy rest. Even in her sleep, she felt the loneliness crushing her ribs, threatening to paralize her lungs.
When the day is gone,
She lay for hours, whimpering, getting harsh growls from the eldar's, the ones that needed their sleep. Getting angered, she roused herself, shook her coat, and left the small cave. Looking back, she found it to look pitiful and disgusting, under the harsh light of a pale moon.
In the dark before dawn,
Her hackles rose and the animal in her emerged with a loud, throaty howl. She caught the scent of food, of life, something she had not had in a long time, and ran after it, catching a measly squirrel along the way. Ripping through the creature's throat, she found herself tingling as the fluid of all life rushed into her mouth, rippled between her teeth. The meat, as little as it was, slid into her stomach, awakening a hunger that lay dormant for so long. The taste for human companions... for companions of anykind. She walked around for awhile, her claws ticked along a black road. She caught the scent of food again, along with humans and wolves. Estatic, she ran along the road, only the sound of the wind and her heart could she hear.The horizon began to become lighter by the time a small village came into sight.
My true nature shows...
Becoming the human all wolves at that time evolved to, she strolled down the streets. Her grey tennis shoes barely made a noise, her beater was black, with the yin yang printed in red along the back. Dark blue, low cut jeans hugged her legs, loosening around her ankles to form boot cuts.
Glaring through green hazeled eyes, she quickly tied her bronze and blonde hair back, into a loose ponytail. Walking into a bar of the humans, she quickly took a seat to the back, and in the dark, even though nearer the door would make much more sense. A quick exit versus no attention was a hard choice to make, exspecially for her.
Ordering an iced water, she kept her eyes open for any food she could possibly snatch from anyone's unknowing glance, but here no one ordered food, they danced and sang and made merry. Something she would not accept for a long, long time.
After hours of sitting there, unnoticed in the humans presence, she began to forget of her own problems, she almost forgot she was even a wolf. Had her nose and her hearing not been so excellent, she might have.
"Excuse me." A harsh voice shouted from the dance court, immediatly, she looked for the way out, "What's a beautiful lady like you doin' on your own. Dance with me!"
She sighed, it wasn't her he noticed. She smelt him advance, the liqiour on his breath was too strong for a human to miss. She winced in pain of the false words he said next, "You are the most beautiful human I've ever laid eyes on."
Before she realized what was happening, her senses went reeling from his scent, and her thoughts left her due to the constant twirling and pure bliss of forgetting.
Inside of her, deep inside, her soul felt as if it were cracking like glass.
Disillusioned, forgotten.
Pain'd, half rotten.
After the random hours or minutes she spent twirling in his arms, her senses jolted alive when a strong scent of wolf came through the door. Curious, she gently excused herself from his arms and began to approach her seat, when a large clammy fist gripped her left wrist. She cried aloud with surprise and pain when she felt the small bones bend and snap in his grasp.
Her small yelp drew attention from everyone in the bar. Murmurs and whispers cluttered her ears, muddling the searing white pain and dark blue words together.
"Tsume!" A young, semi-feminine voice yelled.
"She might be his mate, we cannot interfere!" A more secluded, cold, and dreamy type of voice added.
A female whispered under her breath, "Go get 'im Tsume."
The pain receded in her eyes enough for her to see a grey wolf advancing towards her. Without thinking she snapped at him.
"I do not need your help."
"Oh, really?" His voice was superior, haughty, yet, guilt ladden, and tired, "I can see that, I just was going to ask if he was your mate?"
She must've given a look, because he snorted, "Didn't think so."
Hurt and dismembered;
Detatched and gutted...
Then the grip on her wrist became more severe, and she grimaced, "I don't think you're going anywhere." He whispered harshly into her ear, nibbling on it in a way.
"Get the fuck off me you jackass." Her voice was cold and steely. When he didn't comply, she spun around, causing her shoulder to yank out of the socket.
Quickly she delivered a round house kick to his jaw, satisfied at the quick release of her arm. As he recuperated, she painfully reset her shoulder, gasping in pain, feeling the blood drain from her face.
"Bitch!" He roared, taking out a small switch knife. Stunned she stood stock still as the blade advanced, bracing herself, she waited for the blade to plunge into her flesh with tremendous ferocity. A flash of silver threaded pain laced through her side up to her brain and down to her toes.
Then she saw Tsume standing over her, his arm torn open, blood spilling onto the floor like a mini waterfall.
"Tsume?" Her voice sounded different with appreciation and caring for this wolf. It was warm.
He knelt beside her, looking startled, his eyes were glazed with pain and anger, "Good thing you're not his mate, I think Kiba over there would've killed him for such mistreatment of a female."
She felt her eyes weaving in and out of focus, feeling the gash that was right below her rib cage, Don't look. Don't look. She chanted to herself. She found herself staring down at the bar in amazing clarity, awed at the beauty of a pale rose haired girl that smelled of freshness and peace. The wolf that stood protectivly at her side, with messy brown hair, stunning blue eyes, and a simple outfit of leather jacket and a white tee and jeans. Sitting on a stool was a larger young male with a woman. He wore a bright outfit, a tanline around his neck suggested a collar that was no longer there. She wore a short skirt and thigh high stockings.
Beside Tsume was a small young wolf who wore a red flannel and jeans with hiking boots. Tsume himself was in black leather, had a large 'x' shaped scar on his chest, stunning blonde hair, and golden eyes. Then she saw herself.
I can't even cry.
Crashing back into reality, she immediatly tore her jacket off and fumbled around with the fabric, finally finding a loose thread.
Tearing it into long strips, she got to her knees, and approached Tsume, "Thank you." She announced, without shame, grabbing his arm and wrapping it in the black cloth. She caught his eyes, and smirked, "Don't worry." She patted his shoulder, motioning that it was done, "It does match your outfit."
"What about your wounds?" The young one seemed flabbergasted.
"Have had worse." She shrugged, riping up the rest of her jacket, patching up her own wounds, poorly.
"But, your guts are probably spilling out right now."
"Toboe!" The brown haired one snapped, "Don't try to freak her out, it's not that deep." She felt hands upon her wound, probing, "Deep, but not that deep."
Her sight went black from the pain his fingers caused her, and she fell asleep.
The next thing she felt was the cloth being pulled away from her flesh, very gently. The wind caressed her face, making her imagine that special someone, just for her. The thoughts danced in her mind, when Tsume's face, and lopsided grin associated them, she jumped awake, bumping heads with none other than the devil himself.
"Ow." She whispered.
"You din't cry, not once. Even when you were unconsious. What happened to make you such a cold bitch?"
She looked away, glaring at the fading moon.
What type of soul am I?
"Just thought I'd ask." She caught the cold, emotionless smile out of the corner of her eye.
"Where'd you get that scar?" She saw him tense up, the smile left his face and was plastered to hers, though, it was just as devoid of emotion as his was, "Just thought I'd ask."
He stood up and walked away, muttering under his breath. She took the time to take in her surroundings.
She was inside of a large shelf on the face of a cliff, huddled next to her was the one named Toboe. Smelling her blood on him and noting the bags under his eyes; she knew he tried to stay up with Tsume and heal her. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, ignoring the pain. Off to the right was the large one and the female, whose name was Blue. Off to the side was the brown haired male and the young woman. She sighed, wondering how long it would take for her to heal. Drifting off, she barely saw Tsume slip back into the shelter. She tightened her grip around the pup.
He grinned, "Women."
In the late hours;
The struggle of powers.
She awoke to the scent of sweat and dense fur. Tsume was cuddled up to her, and she allowed him to squeeze her as tightly as needed.
She had been with them for about two months, though her wounds healed within three days. She watched the relationship between Tsume and Toboe, stamping them as the father and son type. Cheza was the flower madien, and she chose Kiba, they were like lovers, as was Blue and Hige. All the males were like brothers.
She actually didn't even begin to trust them until she found that Tsume had been starring at her for over two days. One night was exceptionally cold, and since she shredded her coat, she was freezing. She woke to his grasp, and found herself in love with the rough-around-the-edges man.
They had been declared mates, not really vocally, but everybody knew it to be so. She slapped him around, and he obeyed. She broke him to the will of a woman, and she found herself grasping to him like a life-line.
She despised and loved this dependance. The way they made love in the dark, underneath the sky, the way he whispered into her ear, every little thing he did to prove his love for her. She hated and adored the way he would deny any of his feelings, then immediatly say or do something to prove that he actually felt it strongly, perhaps twice what any of the others felt. She was struggling with the cosmos, it seemed. They loved her, they wanted her to stay. Yet they would not allow her to come close to their secrets. She even contemplated denying Tsume of sex, but he was so damn hot, she couldn't say no. Exspecially since he was so hot for her. She wanted to rip her own hair out, yet she wanted to welcome that feeling, she had even started calling Toboe her pup, though Tsume stayed with runt. They were yin and yang, being wolf with Tsume was like heaven. Running, hunting, mating, howling, sharing the breeze, it was all glorious and unrestrained. She wanted to share paradise with them. With him.
Then there were the thoughts. Why settle for second, try Kiba. He's such a hard head, try Hige. He's pulling you back! Find freedom.You are being too dependant. You should hate him.
Life and death,
Everything and nothing.
"Yin and yang." She mentioned one day, out of the blue, "Tsume, we are yin and yang."
He glanced down at her, a slow, easy smile, a genuine smile, spread across his face, "That's what holds us together like glue."
"But what if the glue fades or breaks away!" She blurted, not thinking, "What if I lose you, or you die, or-"
He clasped her face in his hands, looking into her eyes, "I love you." He stated, "We are mates, I will not leave you for paradise, my Bronze Goddess."
She settled against his chest, stroking the scar absent mindedly, "I love you too, my Tsume."
Toboe came over to us, "Hey, Tsume, Hige's caught the scent of Darcia, and Hubb says that Pops will be recovering soon."
She clutched Tsumes hand, and stroked Toboes face, "I love you, my pup. I never noticed how large you were getting. You not going to be my pup for much longer, are you?"
His face gleamed, and Tsume grunted, getting a large smile out of Toboe.
"I love you, both of you. It's like you are my own parents."
I felt Tsume tense up underneath her, his heart was beating harder and quicker, "Runt..."
He trailed off, glancing away.
"I know." Toboe assured him, "I won't whine about that any more either, Tsume, I know."
She leaned over and kissed his fore head.
"Quent's awake!"
I realize...
She cried. For one of the few times in her life, tears ran uncontrollably down her face. She heard someone screaming 'Toboe, my pup! Toboe!' All she could think was, No, he's my pup. I love him, this can't be happening.He's my pup!
Tsume was hugging her into his chest, his shoulders were trembling and his heart was weak. The human, Hubb, and Blue were upset over Pops. She wanted to rip out their eyes balls and slice them to ribbons. Who gives a fuck about some old geezer who was an asshole! He killed my baby. The wolf should be mourning Toboe, not some old bastard. The human she can excuse, but not forgive.
She was trembling uncontrollably, hardly able to breath.
"Tsume, never let me go." She pleaded, "Never let me go."
He ran his fingers through her hair, "I'm not sure I can do that." He whispered, "Maybe the glue does chip away after something like this." He gripped her tighter, "I won't let you go. I swear it."
Tsume woke up, clutching Toboes shirt in his hands. Sitting up, he looked around the bus they had hunkered down in.
"Hey!" Hige shouted, "The moon's full, there's a town not to far away, and I can smell food! Along with a pack of wolves not too far off. About twenty of them."
Tsume shook his head, shrugging off the concerned looks.
She gazed up at the moon, an overwhelming emptyness filled her, and the longing to howl overtook her. She cursed her wretched state.
A scent teased her nose, though she could not place it. The it hit her, A town! And food! And wolves.
She stood out side of her small pack, feeling the emptyness crush her ribs and labor her breathing. She stood outside, nobody ahd their gaze steely fixed onto her. It felt good to be away from them.
Then it hit her...
I'm all alone.
END
A.N. I didn't mean for this poem to be so optimistic in the end. I'm sorta bummed, but I couldn't let it go off sadly. I had to make a bit of hope for you romantics (there's a bit in all us girls). But it is sad. If I do a next one, it will be much, much more gory. Look under angst! Review. Flames are adored. My feet are cold.