Klaine. Ever so slight Finchel. Blangst. While the episode was wonderful, I wasn't entirely happy with how quickly Finn and Blaine seemed to resolve things… Okay, that and I really love when Blaine is all angsty and sad… as terrible as that sounds lol. I'm still trying to decide if I want to add another chapter more so from Blaine's perspective…
things people say.
A part of Finn was incredibly jealous and worried that Blaine was going to be the perfect one who sang and stole all of his glory, and he realized that thinking that was selfish or greedy or whatever, but he couldn't help the way he felt. He did like Blaine, the guy seemed nice in all of the times they'd hung out during the summer and he was great for Kurt and Rachel seemed to like him and wow maybe that was his problem.
"Blaine's gay, Finn, he made that perfectly clear at the coffee house. Hasn't he made that perfectly clear in dating Kurt?" Rachel had pointed out to him on the way home, and when he dropped her off at her front door before heading home she leaned forward to kiss and reassure him that while she liked Blaine as a friend she loved Finn.
He toed his shoes off in the foyer, kicking them to the side so Burt and his mom wouldn't trip over it coming home from work. And as he climbed the stairs and passed Kurt's room on the way to his own he heard a sniffle (was Kurt crying?) and stopped at the door. But before he could push the door open and question his stepbrother and threaten whoever had upset him he heard Kurt's voice, steady and soft, and realized it wasn't Kurt who was upset.
"I'm sorry," Blaine sniffled and through the crack he could make out Kurt wrapping an arm around Blaine's shoulders. "This feels pathetic."
"Showing your emotions when you're upset isn't pathetic, Blaine."
"It is when my emotions don't matter. At least—"
Kurt pulled back from Blaine, "Is this about Finn?"
Finn took a step back, unconsciously, and looked at the wooden door in shock. Had he done something? He couldn't really remember even acknowledging Blaine at all in the previous week at school.
Blaine sniffed again, running the sleeve of his shirt against whis et cheeks, "No. No, I just—why does he hate me? I'm not perfect."
"Well you're perfect to me, but that's not the point," Kurt said and Blaine forced out a laugh. "I'm going to murder Finn for making you feel like this."
"It's—" Blaine sighed. "It's about more than just Finn."
"Finn isn't your father."
"No. God no. But sometimes it feels like he's in the room and—I don't know."
"You do know."
"I just feel unsteady and stupid and shaky and I hate feeling like that."
Finn furrows his eyebrows in confusion, but remembers the brief moment where he had spoken to Blaine that week and the reaction he had originally thought was anger now seemed different. Blaine's entire body had shaken as he slunk behind Kurt (and Kurt had ripped into Finn generously for saying anything to his boyfriend that was disrespectful) and at the time Finn had, stupidly, thought that Blaine was angry and trying to control it for the sake of Kurt and their relationship. He'd been scared, Finn realized, feeling a pang of guilt clutch his heart and squeeze. Jesus, he'd been terrified of Finn, not angry.
"And that's why I'm going to kill Finn."
"Just—leave it, Kurt. It's fine. We'll just avoid him and it'll be fine. It's clearly what he wants."
Finn shook his head, suddenly no longer angry with Blaine or Kurt or anyone else but himself. How could he have been so fucking stupid.
Blaine left before dinner, and the typical Friday night meal seemed awkward and uncomfortable and when Carole questioned where Blaine, who had constantly been invited to dinner by Burt, was that evening Kurt shot Finn a dirty look before replying that Blaine had a lot of homework to catch up on. He mentioned they were going to take their usual Saturday date (which was usually spent curled up on the couch with popcorn and mugs of hot chocolate watching Disney movies) out somewhere else.
After dinner Finn decided to go and to knock on Kurt's door and talk to him about everything, but found himself eavesdropping again on one of his stepbrother's conversations.
"Everything okay, sport?" Burt asked and Finn heard Kurt sigh.
"Not really, but we're handling it, dad."
"Everything okay at home?"
"No," Kurt replied softly and Finn could hear Kurt's voice breaking. "Sometimes I wish his dad would just hit him. God, that sounds so wrong and disgusting and I should never wish someone to hurt my boyfriend, but maybe then he could just—"
"It's not getting any better?" Burt quickly asked, and Finn recognized that tone of voice. It was the tone of voice he used when he was concerned about Kurt. It was that tone of voice when Carole had gotten stuck in a bad part of Lima and she had called to tell him that she would be late for dinner. It was that tone of voice when Finn had ended up at the hospital with a head injury after a blow in a football game and the doctors had said he'd have to wait because it wasn't an emergency. Burt was concerned.
"Of course not. And then he goes to school and he only came to McKinley for me, dad. I know he's there to stand up to bullies and it's something he did regret not doing at his old school, but—McKinley's not the best education and I just don't want him to regret that."
"How could he regret that when he's with you?"
"How could he not? He doesn't have a dorm room for safety, he doesn't have the Warblers there twenty-four seven, and he's around his verbally abusive bastard of a father. How could he not regret this?"
"Because he has you and the rest of that Glee Club of yours."
Kurt was silent for a moment and Finn knows he's thinking about Finn and Puck and Sam and the harassment Blaine had to endure from them the past few weeks since he'd arrived at McKinley.
"Yeah. I think he and Mike are getting along really well. Tina loves him because he's like a freaking puppy, and Rachel because he matches her voice and he likes to perform, but Finn and—"
"What about Finn?"
"Nothing, dad, I told you we're handling that, okay? I'm just saying Blaine doesn't necessarily feel all that welcome."
Burt sighed, "Are you sure I shouldn't have a talk with this choir director of yours?"
"No. I think it would only make matters worse," Kurt ran a hand through his hair. "I love him, dad. I'm all he really has, and it scares me that—"
What?
"What? You think he's going to do something stupid?"
Kurt was silent for a few moments and Finn was contemplating leaving and going to his room because he didn't know if this conversation was over or if—
"When he—before the Sadie Hawkins dance and the bullies beating him up to an inch of his life he tried—well he told me he thought about suicide. The bullying just got to the point where he didn't see any other way out."
Finn slumped against the wall, his heart dropping down into his stomach.
"He tried it, once, but he said the pills wouldn't stay down and— I'm the only one, besides his friend Wes, who knows. He doesn't trust anyone with this stuff lightly because he's so god damn—"
Burt chuckled, "Happy all of the time."
Finn didn't need to see him to know that Kurt had smiled.
"Yeah. Happy. It's not like he doesn't have a range of emotions he's just terrified to show anything else to people because he doesn't want to scare them off."
"And what about you?"
"He knows I love him."
There's a long pause and Finn doesn't care about getting caught because he can't physically push himself away from the wall because his heart aches and there's unshed tears in his eyes and he's so angry at himself and why didn't he see any of this before?
"If he tries—"
"Yeah," Kurt sighed and pulled Burt in for a hug. "I know. He knows too. I love you dad."
"Love you too, kiddo."
Before Burt opens the door Finn trudges back to his own room and falls onto his bed with a grunt and a soft sigh. He has to fix this. He has to before it was too late and Blaine and Kurt hated him forever.
Finn awakens to the doorbell chiming throughout the house, and Burt and his mom must have heard it too because there is someone shuffling quickly down the hallway and Finn doesn't realize that it's three in the morning until he's kicking off his own blankets and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He wonders who would be at the door and worries that someone is hurt and he awakens at the thought but stops at the top of the stairs when Burt opens the front door. Blaine's drenched in water, the rain is still cascading down onto the street heavily behind him, and Finn can see that his face and his eyes are red and puffy from crying and Burt ushers him inside and Carole rushes past him on the stairs, bringing a sleepy Kurt with her when she returns to Blaine's side.
Blaine breaks when Kurt hugs him, and the two sink to the floor in a heap of pajamas and wet clothes. Finn rushes to the laundry room and grabs two large towels and Kurt smiles softly when he hands them over.
Carole and Finn sit in the kitchen, Burt and Kurt and Blaine are upstairs in Kurt's bedroom and Finn taps his foot nervously while they wait. When he returns, without Kurt and Blaine, Burt looks exhausted and he practically collapses down onto a kitchen chair with a loud sigh. He hands a bottle, orange and white and plastic (Finn takes in what it is and tries not to cry and slam his fist down because what the fuck was wrong with this world?) to Carole and she dumps it down the sink and tosses the empty canister without looking or noting what the label said.
They return to bed and Finn passes Kurt's room, the door wide open, and he can see Blaine curled up against Kurt's chest and his heart clenches again and while he really hates the feeling Finn knows he deserves it for his part in making Blaine feel like anything less than a human being.
"Can I—" Finn stops in the doorway seeing that Kurt is still awake, stoking Blaine's hair as he sleeps. "Is there anything I can get?"
Kurt shifts, shakes his head, and returns his focus on Blaine, "No. Thank you, though, Finn."
"Did he really try—" Finn paused, his voice (and heart) breaking. "God, Kurt. I'm so fucking sorry. I'm such an asshole."
"I'm not too worried about you right now, Finn. Can you please not spread this around school tomorrow? I know you're not exactly fond of Blaine, but even you can't be that heartless."
He nods, wordlessly, in response, and when his chest clenches painfully a third time in twenty-four hours, he bites back a response about how he knows he has a heart because he can feel it breaking. He gives one look to the pair before going back to sleep.
There aren't rumors about where Blaine and Kurt are until Glee Club, and when people start speculating and making wildly inaccurate guesses Finn decides he really doesn't want to be here in this room with these people right now. When Mr. Schue tries to stop him and when the rest of the New Directions protest in confusion, he shrugs them all off, gets into his car, and heads for home.
"Sorry," Blaine mumbles, his eyes downcast when he practically runs into Finn as he exits the bathroom.
Finn furrows his eyebrows and barks out a laugh, "I should be the one who is sorry. And not because you're like sad and shit right now, and that I pity you or anything, but because I've treated you like really smelly dog shit and I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean a lot, but I was jealous. Y'know, it seemed like you had everything and that you were just going to try to take away everything I had and—fuck it's really stupid now, I get that, and I'm sorry." Blaine lifts his head and there are tears in his eyes and Finn panics, because shit if Kurt finds out he made Blaine cry again he's going to let Burt kill him this time. "Shit. I just—I mean—"
And then Blaine hugs him. And it's weird because this is his brother's boyfriend and Blaine's kind of crying and Finn's uncomfortable in this situation usually and he's not sure what he's supposed to do.
"Thank you," Blaine says once he pulls away, his face red with embarrassment.
"But don't worry about school. I'll bring your stuff home for as long as you're out and when you come back we'll work on something together for Glee Club. You know like a callback or something."
Blaine laughs, his eyes connecting with Kurt's as the taller boy exits his room to see what was taking him so long, and shakes his head, "A collaboration, Finn, collaboration."
"Right! Collaboration. We'll do one of those. We've got to be a unified group for Sectionals!"
"How you can use unified correctly and not collaboration I will never understand, Finn Hudson." Before Kurt follows Blaine back into his bedroom he turns, eyes watery, and hugs Finn, "Thank you."