Tobias' POV

I woke up early this morning and looked at my sleeping wife. I know she is worried about me and how Marcus' confession affects me. Truth is, I don't know. My whole life I asked myself why me? Why did all that shit have to happen to me? Why was my father abusive? Why did my mother leave? Why me?

I gently kiss her cheek and she stirs a little but doesn't wake up. Thankfully, our son must be asleep and allows his mother to rest as well. I extract myself from the bed and grab some clothes and enter the bathroom. I get dressed and brush my teeth and slowly go downstairs to have some coffee. While I drink the steaming beverage I look outside over the city. It's cold and the mist is lifting. I wonder if I should go to the hospital or not, but I want to know why he did what he did.

I get my coat and my keys, but just before I leave I realize Tris will wake up soon and wonder where I am. I write a note and hurry upstairs to leave it on her nightstand. I don't want to worry her anymore than she already is. I kiss her forehead and bend down to place a kiss on her belly, telling them both how much I love them and leave.

I take the train. I haven't done that in a while and I don't really feel up to driving right now. I leave the car door open letting the brisk morning air rush inside and cool everything down. Unfortunately, it doesn't really help me with my anxiety.

A thousand thoughts cross my mind and I feel like going crazy the longer it takes to reach the hospital where Marcus is lying down, weak and helpless, like I once was. I look outside and see the Erudite sector appear. As I approach the hospital and the train slows down I jump out and steady myself before I continue walking.

I enter the lobby and ask where I can find Marcus Eaton. A male nurse gives me directions and I thank him. As I walk up the stairs to the third floor where Marcus' room is I wonder if this was a good idea, but at the same time a little voice in my head keeps cheering me on to talk to the man I once called father.

I reach his room and the door is ajar. I peek inside and see the man who has been haunting my nightmares ever since I was a little boy lying down on a sterile hospital bed, looking pale and sick, a shadow of the man he once was. I push the door open and enter the room. The moment I'm inside Marcus turns his head to see who came to visit him. When he sees it's me he looks shocked at first but then smiles. It seems genuine and for a second I think of the last time I saw my father genuinely smile at me. I can't remember.

"Tobias, you came," he says, his voice hoarse and weak, almost a whisper.

"Yes," I say.

"I'm so glad you came, son," he says and tries to sit up. I don't know why, but I move closer to his bed and help him sit up. He looks up at me and thanks me. "You want to know why I behaved the way I did while you grew up," he says. I nod. "Sit down," he gestures toward the chair next to his bed. I sit down, not wanting to argue. For a long while we just look at each other.

"Talk," I bark. He startles a little, but then regains his posture.

"I know I made many mistakes raising you and I really failed both as a husband and father. I grew up in Abnegation and all I saw was my father being a leader and my mother the obedient wife. He was a good man, but occasionally he slapped her or me if we talked or behaved out of line. He always wanted to be an example for everyone in our faction and whenever we went to a faction gathering everyone complimented our family. When I married your mother I loved her very much and to be honest I still do, even after all these years. I hoped that I could have with my family what my father had. Your grandfather died when you were four years old, I don't know if you remember him or not," he says and I shake my head. My father used to be loud and punish me by sending me to my room without supper, but it was only after mom left that he started beating me up. "Your mother, she was always stubborn. Her heart is big and she wanted to help people, she wanted to be more involved, but the way she saw things, especially regarding faction law made me and implicitly our whole family look bad. I forbade her to get involved in anymore faction matters and stay at home instead, be a wife to me and mother to you. But she protested. I knew she meant well and I loved her for her big heart and dedication, but I made the mistake of talking about this with my father. He told me that a woman's place is in the kitchen, at the crib of her child and in bed with her husband. Looking back, especially now, I should have never listened to my father. My mother suffered a lot because of him and eventually killed herself just after my Choosing Ceremony. I often thought how my life would have been if she wouldn't have left me and been there to guide me with my wife, to help me avoid making the same mistakes my father made. Your grandfather encouraged me to be more persuasive with your mother and so I began mistreating her each time she disobeyed me. But Evelyn was always strong and stubborn, until she was so scared that she left me in the middle of the night. I suspected that she cheated on me with another man and this idea poisoned my heart and mind. I saw the other man when I saw you and I hated her for cheating, you for being someone else's son, when all I ever wanted was a son of my own and teach him to be good, but I hated myself especially because in my madness I knew I did wrong. When your mother left I took it out on you, thinking that she only left you with me to mock me, to laugh at me, telling me that I wasn't man enough to give her a son and she got it from someone else. But then I broke your arm and a friend of mine did some tests to check my paternity. To say I was shocked and speechless when the results came back and it was solid proof that I am your father is an understatement."

He takes a deep breath and leans back onto his pillow. He looks exhausted and weak. I wonder what is wrong with him.

"Why did you continue beating me after you found out?" I ask, unable to keep myself from doing so.

"After I realized my mistake I wanted to teach you never to trust a woman like I trusted your mother. I was still convinced that she cheated on me, but I was glad she left you with me. Now I could make a real man out of you. But my father's teachings were still in the back of my mind and I associated good behavior with submission. After you left and joined Dauntless I felt betrayed and hurt and I wasn't shy to mention that to anyone who would listen. Two years later, after you and Beatrice stopped Jeanine I was proud of you, but you ignored me and you made it very clear that you hated me. I only ever wanted to make you better. When I learned that you and Beatrice are a couple I wasn't very pleased."

"Why?" I ask a little angry.

"She reminded me so much of Evelyn, her fierceness, her determination. I thought that the story will repeat itself and she would hurt you like your mother hurt me," he says and I get angry.

"Mom didn't hurt you. You hurt her. And me. You beat me and her. You made us both leave. I chose Dauntless to get out of your house and reach and be free. And don't you dare say a bad word about Tris. She is a million times better than anyone I've ever met," I say and stand up towering over his frail body.

"I know, son, I know. I got to know her and I could see why you chose her as your wife. She is a smart, kind, helpful, selfless young woman, who more importantly than anything loves you and I will never be able to thank her enough for that. But in the beginning all I could see in her was Evelyn and how she would hurt you. When you got closer to Evelyn and Beatrice started to work closely with her I thought that your mother would be a bad influence on your wife and your marriage will fail just as mine. This is why I asked Edward and Drake to spy on the two and report back to me. I know now that what I did was wrong and I would give anything to make things right, turn back time and be a better father. You were never a bad son, you were wonderful, the epitome of selfless and kind and I almost destroyed that in you. But you were strong, I can see that now. You chose Dauntless and became this amazing leader and I'm so proud of you. I know you hate me and I will never get to know my grandchildren, but promise me one thing." He looks at me and I nod. "Be better, be the man I never was but should have been. Be a good husband to Beatrice and a good father to your children and maybe one day you will find it in your heart to forgive your father. Tobias, I love you, I loved you from the moment your mother told me she was pregnant with you and I was the happiest man in the city when the doctor put you in my arms. Everything that went wrong after that is my fault. I know now that your mother was loyal, but I was blind and jealous and believed other people when I should have trusted my wife. Don't make my mistakes, son. Talk to your wife, listen to her, find solutions to your problems, don't let them dictate your life and decisions and destroy what you have. Because once it's gone it is gone forever and you will end up like me, old, sick, dying and pleading that you'll see the woman you always loved and the wonderful son she gave you one more time," he says and tears stream down his face.

I sit down and let his words sink in. He cries and wipes his tears away, but new ones come and as I stare at my shoes I feel my own tears fall. And then I realize something. Tris dreamed of Andy calling her to a grave that she thought was her father's, but it was Marcus'. I look up to my father and watch him watching me.

"Why are you here?" I ask him, even though I think I know the answer to that.

"I'm dying, son." I'm shocked, even though I expected something like that. "Cancer. They found it right after I was shot. They didn't give me much time and I knew I could never rekindle our relationship, but I wanted to make sure that your wife is honest and loves you and that you'll be happy from that day forth."

"I am happy, very happy. Tris is the love of my life, my best friend, my partner. We talk about everything and there are no secrets between us. We make each other strong and we hold the other in difficult times. I knew from the beginning the kind of man I didn't want to be and I feared that one day I'll become like you, but Tris gives me strength and love to keep me from becoming that. And she is about to give me one of the greatest joys, a son," I say and smile. The knowledge of my father dying stirs several emotions in me, too many to identify them properly. "I don't know if I can forgive you," I say and look at him.

"I understand. You don't' have to do it now. But maybe one day. Maybe when you're old and watch your grandchildren play you think of me, but not the bad times, the good ones. We had good times. Fewer than the bad, but still some." I nod. I stand up and his face falls for a moment. I think he thought I would leave. I pull my wallet out and retrieve the latest sonogram of my son. I unfold it and hand it to my father. He looks at it confused at first and then smiles. "Is this my grandson?" he asks, new tears flowing down his face. He looks older than I thought possible. I nod. "Have you picked a name?"

"Andrew Evan Eaton," I say proudly and he smiles.

"A good name, strong and brave, but also kind, just like his father," Marcus says.

I spend another hour with my father talking about the good times we remember and what I hope and wish for my own kids.

He dies with the picture of my unborn son close to his heart while holding my hand in his. I never thought I would shed tears for my father, but here I am grieving his death.

I don't know if I can forgive him. Maybe one day I will.