Letter's To Mary: I Will Not Play With Cursed Items

by TRUMAN'S SHELL

Dean insists that they send Mary letters after doing the same when a classmate dies. John decides to tell her a story about when he messed up while training with Bobby. Warning: Spanking

Title: Letter's To Mary: New Year's Resolution I Will Not Play With Cursed Items

Author: Truman's Shell

Beta: Itsmecoon

Characters/Pairings: John, Mary, Bobby, Sammy (1/2) Dean (5/6)

Scenario: Dean insists that they send Mary letters after doing the same when a classmate dies. John decides to tell her a story about when he messed up while training.

Implement: Hand/Belt

My Dearest Mary,

Just so you know this was Dean's idea. The kid made me promise to tell you that because this was his idea, not mine.

Actually, it was his teacher's. One of the students in his class was killed in an automobile accident and his teacher had the kids draw a picture and send it into the air on a balloon. She told him that the balloon would find their friend and he would see all of the pictures they had drawn him to let him know that he was remembered and loved. The note she sent home to us said that she wanted to make sure the children had a chance to say good-bye and this was an easy way for them to deal with their grief.

The second Dean got home he demanded that we send you letters and pictures. I was busy researching at the time and honestly was a bit abrupt with the kid until he started crying. Dean really isn't a big crier, unless he gets a spanking or something happens to Sammy. The second I heard the tears, I stopped what I was doing and picked up our baby boy. I hope what I said was to your satisfaction. You know I've never been good with words.

"What's wrong Dean?"

"I miss Mom," Dean said snuggling into my chest.

"I miss her too, but you know she's watching over you and Sammy every day."

"But I don't know if she knows how much I miss her."

"I know she does, baby."

"Can we make sure?"

"How?"

"Today we wrote notes and drew pictures for Tommy. You know he died last week."

"I know it was very sad."

"Once we were done with the notes, we tied them to balloons and sent them into the sky so he could get them. I want to do the same for Mommy. She hasn't seen Sammy since he was a baby and he's getting so big. I kinda want to send her one of my school pictures and some drawings, and maybe a letter. I don't know how to spell a lot but maybe you can help me."

"I think that sounds like a great idea. How about we let Sammy draw her a picture too?"

"Sammy's pictures suck Dad," Dean said rolling his eyes and yelped when I popped him one.

"You don't pick on your brother Dean Winchester," I said firmly before pulling him in for a tighter hug.

"Sorry Daddy," Dean said rubbing the sting out of his little butt.

"Just don't do it again kiddo. Do you have any homework?"

"Yeah, I have some spelling and math."

"Why don't you sit down and start it?"

"I was so excited about writing to Mom that I forgot to check on Sammy. I'll do that first, ok?"

"Ok."

You would be so proud of the way our little boy looks after Sammy. I know a six year old isn't supposed to help change diapers or keep the baby entertained, but Dean does it without being asked. He feels like it's a duty and I tend to take advantage of it. I know this isn't an excuse, but I need his help. To be honest my patience isn't always where it needs to be especially when I'm researching a hunt. When Dean's here he makes sure Sammy's taken care of. When I really think about it, it makes me feel like a shitty parent.

The anniversary of your death was a month ago. It hit Dean hard, that's why he's so insistent on doing this. I won't lie to you and say I took it well. The fact is, I spent the night in a bottle. Don't worry the boys were with a friend, I try not to drink more than a beer or two when they're with me.

I can't believe how much the boys have grown and how different our lives are since that night. I finally learned the truth, from Missouri and have been training like crazy. You know when I came home from Vietnam I didn't think I would ever have to use my Marine training again. I would just live with you and the boys, own a mechanic shop, and be a normal husband and father. But fate just wasn't going to let me have that. They took you away Mary, and I just can't live the same knowing what's out there and not doing anything about it.

Don't worry, I found other hunters and they are making sure I take care of myself. Hell, one even makes sure I'm taking care of the boys. You would like him, he's a cranky son of a bitch, but one of the nicest and bravest men I've ever met. Dean really likes him. It might be because he has a shit load of cars and always has toys to play with. I've even come to think of him as their Uncle Bobby.

I'm betting you're rolling your eyes and shaking your head about my swearing. Sorry, but being a soldier and now hanging out with hunters has really taken my swearing up to a new level. Maybe I should invest in a cuss jar like we had we you were pregnant with Dean. That was one of my favorite conversations with you, I remember like it was yesterday. It all started with the F bomb and me spilling my coffee.

"John Winchester, you need to stop your cussing," you said angrily rubbing your seven month along baby bump, "I don't want our baby growing up cussing like a sailor."

"Not a sailor Mare, a Marine always a Marine," I said as I pulled you in for a long deep kiss.

"Hey, no distracting me."

"But I like distracting you," I said nibbling on your earlobe. I wanted more than anything to take you to bed, but I had to go to work in ten minutes.

"Don't start something you can't finish."

"Never darling never," I said pulling you into another kiss. Which you backed out of and said,

"Right. Back on topic, please. You need to stop cussing."

"What are you gonna do to help? Give me a spanking?"

"No you'd like that too much," you said as you swatted my ass, "I'll hit you where it really hurts, your wallet."

"My wallet, huh? Are you saying I'm cheap?"

"No I'm saying that you like your money. So let's say every curse word costs you $5 and the f bomb costs you $10."

"Damn, that's a lot."

"Five dollars please."

"Mare, we haven't agreed to this yet."

"See, effective punishments. Just helping you get ready to be a father. You know the whole rules and consequences thing."

"Mare, between my Mom and Paw Paw, I know the whole rules and consequences thing inside and out."

"Maybe I should call Paw Paw and see what he has to say."

That had me reaching in my wallet and handing you the five dollars. Last thing I needed was Paw Paw driving over and handing me my ass for arguing with a pregnant lady.

"Five dollars towards our baby's education," you said pulling me in for another kiss. "Call Mike and tell him you're going to be a little late. Your wife really needs you."

"What do you…Oh," I said as you unzipped my fly reaching inside before running off like a tease. But I tell you what, that had me calling Mike and if I remember right I don't think I made it into work that day.

God Mare, I miss you so much it hurts. The only thing that keeps me going is our boys and getting revenge. I also want to honor you, so I'll start the curse jar today. I can't afford $5 anymore, how about a quarter for the little ones and the f bomb costs me a dollar? I think Dean's going to have a lot of fun with this. I'm not telling Bobby or the other hunters though. I've got my pride, sorry baby you'll just have to give me a little slack there.

Now that I have the cussing thing taken care of, I should tell you the safety measures I'm taking to keep me and the boys safe. I already told you that I'm getting help from other hunters and these guys make my drill instructors in basic look like marshmallows. Learn it the first time or face the consequences.

I know you're thinking what kind of consequences can grown men give another grown man? Pretty much the same as Paw Paw did. They PT the hell out of me. Whoops there goes another quarter, I'm going to be broke by the end of this letter. And if I really mess up they have no problem taking their belts to my backside.

Do you know how embarrassing it is squirming on a chair at my age while copying exorcisms as punishment? To be honest I've only been whipped once and I totally deserved it. I put Dean's life in danger by not paying attention. Even though I don't want to, I guess I should tell you about it.

It was all about the cursed items. Bobby has the biggest collection of cursed items in the world. The guy is a real hoarder when it comes to cursed items and supernatural books. Anyway he wanted to see how I handled myself with cursed items and listening to instructions.

"Alright John, get these archived before the boys wake up from their naps."

"What's in em?"

"None of your damn business. Just describe the box in detail and put them in this cupboard."

"And this is helping me learn how?"

"Do you need to run a couple of miles before you begin?"

"No sir."

Sir has always come easy to me, but with Bobby and Elkins it always made me feel like a little kid, but they made their rules clear, do as I'm told or face the consequences. If I don't like it, don't let the door hit me in the ass when I left. Shit another quarter, make that two. Sorry Mare.

So I sat my butt (look I did it) down and started inventorying the stuff. It was boring as heck, but I knew it was important. I was eventually interrupted by a small,

"Daddy, Sammy's crying."

I walked away from the table leaving two boxes on it. Not thinking that our five year old was going to play with the boxes. I had told the kid not to touch anything in that room after all and Dean usually obeyed my orders.

I made it halfway down the hall when a heard the scream. Bobby was in there before I was and had Dean in his arms. The look he shot me was one I would never forget. I had just put our kid in danger because I wasn't paying attention and didn't take two seconds to ensure the safety of the room, something I had been taught on more than one occasion.

"What is it Bobby?" I screamed.

"Calm down, I wasn't gonna let some rookie idjit work with dangerous curses. I have the counter curse right here. Go get your other boy."

"Bobby, I need…"

"Damn it John, get your ass into the other room pick up that baby and give me five fucking minutes to deal with the shit storm you just landed us in."

I walked out of the room feeling like a complete and utter jackass. I knew I had to punish Dean for not listening, but in all actuality it was my fault. He was five years old and totally into the whole hunting business. Of course he was going to stay and look around instead of following me to get Sammy.

Once I was the kids' room, I was working on autopilot, I changed Sammy and walked down the stairs to make him a bottle. The second the bottle was heated I fed him but I spent the whole time wondering what was happening to our little boy.

It seemed like a lifetime before Dean and Bobby walked into the kitchen. He was in my arms seconds later crying like crazy.

"The…box…stung…me… and…Bobby…spanked…me."

"He did huh, why did he do that?" I was surprised that I wasn't angry at the man for touching my kid, but knew it was his house and that my kid totally deserved it.

"I…played…with…the…bad…box."

"Are you allowed to touch things in the library?"

"No…sir."

"What happens when you do something you're not supposed to?"

"I…get…a…spanking."

"Yep and you're getting another one before you go to bed tonight."

"But…Daddy…Bobby…spanks…hard."

"You have to follow the rules Dean."

"Yes…sir."

I just held him after that, thanking my lucky stars and you for keeping our boy safe.

The rest of the day went as normal. Bobby didn't say a thing about the cursed boxes in fact he barely talked to me. My guess is he was wondering what to do. I fucked up (I know I owe the jar a dollar) and wouldn't have been surprised if the man didn't kick me out the second I found a place to live. He would never put the boys out on the street, but me, I have no doubt he'd show me the curb most day.

After I got Sammy asleep, I called Dean into my room.

"Daddy, I'm really sorry."

"I know buddy, but remember when we talked about what Daddy does and how dangerous it is?"

"Yes sir."

"What did I tell you?"

"That I have to listen to you."

"That's right and what did I say about touching things in Bobby's library?"

"Not to."

"Why did you open the box then?"

"It looked so cool on the outside that I wanted to see what was in there."

"That was dangerous."

"I know and I promise I won't do it again."

"Yeah, but I know a better way to make sure you don't," I said picking him up and baring his little bottom. I couldn't even tell that Bobby had spanked the kid. He must've let him off easy. Well mine wasn't going to be too bad either and figured ten hard swats would do. Dean was crying hard when I was finished. When he finished crying he said,

"I'm sorry Daddy, I won't touch those boxes again. It really hurt I opened it. What was it?"

"I don't know, but those boxes have magic in them."

"I won't play with them again, promise."

"Good boy."

I put Dean in bed after reading him a story and decided it was time to face Bobby. I really wanted to walk into my room and forget this day ever happened, but I knew I needed to make things right with Bobby so I made my way down the stairs. To my surprise he had a shot and a beer waiting for me.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, well this ain't gonna be the easiest conversation we've ever had, so I figure you could use a drink before we get started."

You know me, I just shook my head and drank the shot waiting for Bobby to begin. I wanted to beg him to forgive me and thank him for saving my son, but my stubborn pride kept my mouth closed.

"Johnny, I really think you need to reconsider hunting," Bobby began.

"I can't and I won't until the thing that killed Mary is dead. I understand if you want me and the boys out of your house and if so we'll hit the road tomorrow."

"No, I don't want you to leave. Dean just started kindergarten and if I let you go, you'll end up dead. Look, you're strong, brave, and smart enough to do this, but you have two living breathing reasons not to."

"They are the reason I'm doing it."

"Bullshit, you're looking for revenge. Don't con a conman. My wife was killed by demon too. I know how it feels and what you want to do. The big difference between me and you are those two boys."

"Bobby, I love my boys and I'll do everything to keep them safe."

"Like you did today?"

Well that took the wind out of my sails and honestly it felt like the man punched me in the gut.

"That was a stupid mistake," I rationalized.

"One that could've cost you your boy's life."

"I know and I can't begin to thank you enough for saving him."

"What if I wasn't there John? What if there wasn't a cure?"

"I honestly don't think I'm going to bring cursed items home with me," I rationalized.

"So what's your plan when you come across them, because you will in this business?"

"I'll rent storage lockers."

"Alright that takes care of cursed items. What if you bring something home with you that you're hunting?"

"You've taught me everything there is to ward off the supernatural and I follow that everywhere we stay."

"Ok. What happens if you die on a hunt?"

I had been thinking about that a lot, but I think my answer shocked him.

"Well, honestly I was going to ask you to take care of them if something happened to me."

"Me? I'm not good around kids."

"Sure you are. I know you'd keep them safe too. Would you take my boys if something happened to me?"

"Yes," Bobby said without hesitation.

"Thanks Bobby."

"Yeah I wouldn't go thanking me yet, I'm still pissed that you put Dean in danger. What have we talked about when it comes to safety?"

"Not to leave a room until it's secure unless it's an emergency."

"It would've taken you two seconds to put those boxes away, Sammy could've waited that long. What happened?"

"I just thought of them as boxes and really didn't think about what was in them. Rookie mistake."

"Rookie mistake or no, I'm not letting you get away with it."

"How many miles?"

"Johnny, this is beyond miles or any type of PT or any dirty job I could give you. It wasn't only a rookie move, it was a childish move. I knew from the second I sat you down that you didn't want to do it and that you were pissed because I wouldn't tell you what was in the boxes, that made you careless leading to your boy getting hit by a stinging hex. Just so you know, it was like he was getting stung by a million bees at once."

"Oh my god!"

"Yeah and that was a mild curse believe me. Some of the curses in that cupboard could kill you within minutes. Once we're finished archiving them, I'm moving them to a storage locker. If I'm going to have the boys around I need to make sure this won't happen again. The other thing I'm going to do is wear your ass out with my belt and after that you're copying the counter curse 100 times."

"You're gonna spank me?"

"Yep. I'm gonna blister your ass good."

"Bobby you realize that I'm 35."

"And that means what to me. You acted like a little kid and I'm treating you like one. Let's walk out to my workshop. I don't want to wake the boys."

I just shook my head and followed the man out there. I hadn't gotten a spanking since that night I walked out on you. Damn, Paw Paw laid into me that night. I deserved it just like I deserve this one. All I could hope was Bobby wasn't anything like my Paw Paw, I really didn't want my junk hanging out as he spanked my bare ass. That's two more quarters, I know.

"Jeans Johnny, but you can keep the boxers," Bobby said once we reached his workshop.

I did as I was told before leaning across the workbench. I heard him take off his belt and waited. I'll tell you this, the first swat took my breath away. Bobby has one heck of a swing and my butt was taking a beating. Being the manly man that I am I stood there and took it without a sound. I counted the strokes to keep my mind occupied. It totaled fifty believe it or not and the man covered every inch of my backside and thighs. Sitting was going to suck big time for the next week, I was sure of it. When he was finished he put his hand on my should and said,

"Take your time. I'll see you in the house."

The second he left I cried out my fear of losing Dean and the life we would've had together as a family if that fucking demon had just past us by. I don't think I would survived if I lost one of them Mary, they are my life. I know when people look at me they see a hard ass bent on revenge, but you knew me before, who I was and who I wanted to be.

I walked slowly back into the house and saw Bobby had another shot and beer waiting for me.

"So what are you going to do the next time I ask you to archive cursed items?"

"Trust me my New Year's resolution is not to play or allow my children to play with cursed item ever again. Cursed items are for archiving only."

"Alright get to work on copying that counter curse. We'll start new tomorrow."

So does my story help make you feel better about our lives or worse? I promise you that I'm careful on every hunt and make sure the boys have what they need. Well, not a house, but we have the car, you know our car. Sometimes I think I should've bought that Volkswagen Bug, it would make my life a lot easier with the boys, but it wouldn't have the flare as the Impala.

So how should I leave this? How about begging you to forgive me? It's really all I can do, because I know this isn't the life that we wanted for the boys. I'm not the same man you married and I'm sure as hell not the parent I wanted to be.

So please tell me you understand and that you forgive me for putting our son's life in danger? Please tell me that you know I love them? Please tell me that you'll watch over them and keep them safe?

I love you Mary and wish every second of everyday that you were here in my arms.

Love always,

John

John got up from the table wiping a few tears from his eyes. He looked over at the two precious gifts that Mary had left him and smiled. He looked around the room, finding a coffee can, emptied it, and cut a hole in the top. Finally, he opened his walled and took out enough money to cover every curse word in the letter and put it in the jar. Tomorrow the boys could personalize it for him.

"There Mare, one promise kept. I'll just have to work on the rest."