I do not own these characters or the story. All credit to the author and fsog.
I watch as he buttons his shirt back up his muscular, toned body. He even makes dressing look incredibly sexy. I don't know how that's even possible.
"If you keep staring at me like that we will never leave this room." His deep, husky voice alerts me to the fact I haven't taken my eyes off this gorgeous man in a while. I still don't understand how this beautiful man, Adonis himself, wants to be with me. We've been together only a few short months, but it feels like a lifetime. A smile spreads across my face as I place my halo diamond earrings in.
"I would love to know what is going on inside that pretty little head of yours that is causing you to smile." His arms wrap around me and he pulls me flush against his body. I can feel his hard member making its presence known as it pushes into my back. I melt into him. I look up into his eyes through the mirror and find them dark with lust.
"I'm thinking about how great these past few months have been." I admit truthfully. I'm not one to share my feelings so freely. His eyes go from dark to light as he pulls me even closer to him.
"It's been the best months of my life and I can't wait for many more." He whispers sweetly in my ear while keeping his eyes locked on mine. I feel my gut sink at one particular word he used. More. Christian is always bringing up more. He talks about the future, me moving in with him, and one day he even randomly brought up babies. More is what he is after.
"Come on, let's go or we might get stuck in traffic. We wouldn't want to leave your best friend waiting." I end this moment before it becomes another fight between us. Christian looks upset as usual, but he offers me a smile anyways. I grab my purse and hold my hand out for him when I reach the doorway. His smile electrifies at my gesture, so much that it is almost blinding. He grabs my hand, giving it a tight squeeze, before we make our way to the restaurant.
"Baby." Christian calls me out of my thoughts as he grabs my hand and leaves small kisses along my knuckles. "Please stop worrying, you look so beautiful tonight. It's not like it's us three going out to dinner alone. Everyone else will be there too." He tells me with one last kiss to my hand before he holds it in his lap. Christian's best friend is in town for the weekend. I've met all of his friends except this one and supposedly he is very important. They grew up together, lived together in college and when Christian was starting his company up. They both dropped out at the same time and moved back to Seattle. They stopped living together when Sawyer moved for a job but remained best friends nonetheless. Apparently, this guy is like family to Christian and I find myself even more nervous than when I actually met his family.
We pull up to the restaurant, leaving the Audi with valet. Christian takes my hand as we walk inside. I realize for the first time since being with Christian, Taylor is not accompanying us inside or even with us tonight. It's like we are just normal people, not a billionaire CEO and his date.
"As much as I love this dress, I can't wait to see it on the floor tonight." Christian whispers in my ear in a breathy voice and it causes my stomach to clench in response. I'm tempted to suggest we skip dinner and head home now. I lean up and kiss his neck in response, unable to utter a single word right now. I smooth my black bandage dress over my body, which is dumb because it fits like a glove. When Christian saw me in this dress the first time, he almost had a coronary. Then the following weekend after he saw it, I found one in every color and style located in his closet. That was when he first brought up more. He played it off casually and stated he only wanted me to wear them if I was with him. Therefore, they needed to be at his home. I asked him to explain the other clothes he bought me that were next to the dresses, but he played that off as well.
The hostess shows us to our table and we find everyone else is already here besides Sawyer. Actually, I expected more people to be here than there are. We take the two seats across from the other empty one. I sit next to Kate, who's next to Elliot then Mike, the empty seat, Heather, Bennett, Mia's husband Eric, Mia then Christian. Everyone at this table basically grew up together except me. I'm the newbie and most days it's incredibly hard to fit in. They are all older than me by a few years at least. Most of the time it's just them talking and me listening. I can't actually recall a moment when one of them started a conversation with me or asked anything about my personal life.
Everyone greets us and they all say hello. All the guys immediately start a conversation up with Christian. The waiter takes our drink orders and brings them out swiftly. I try to stay involved in the conversation, but they are talking about something that happened in high school which I wasn't there for. I sip on my drink but almost spit it out when I hear a familiar deep voice from behind me. Fear paralyzes me and my body becomes rigid.
"I thought I'd never see the day Christian Grey orders wine at a high end restaurant." The voice booms and everyone at the table laughs except me. Christian stands up and shakes the man's hand. I turn around and watch him as the guy pulls him into a quick side hug, much like his other friends do. Christian hates being touched unless it's on his terms. I have yet to even touch his chest or back with my own hands.
"Ana, this is my best friend Sawyer." Christian's chipper voice pulls me from my thoughts once again tonight and I remember my manners. I stand to shake his hand. My face remains impassive, but his eyes widen when he sees me. I hold out my hand for him to shake, attempting to keep the awkward confrontation away for the moment. He clears his throat before his large hand engulfs my petite one.
"Luke Sawyer. It's nice to finally meet the woman who has captured my best friends heart." He says quietly. I pull my hand away from his. I think he would have held on for far too long if I hadn't. I can feel Christian's eyes swinging between us. He pulls me into his side and places a kiss on my temple.
"Ana. It's nice to meet his very best friend." I smile at him and he smiles back although it doesn't reach his eyes. We all take our seats and everyone else greets Luke much like they did us when we got here. They all start their chatter back up, effectively leaving me out once again. This time, it doesn't hurt though. My thoughts are occupied with this new situation and how I am going to handle it. My eyes move to Christian and I watch as he animatedly talks to Luke about his company. His words come back to me "Sawyer is family. He's blood even if we aren't from the same parents."
How do I tell Christian that his very best friend is the same guy I had a fling with while I was studying in Europe? How do I tell the man I have sex with more than three times a day that I've also had sex with his best friend? My mind is swirling with scenarios and I can only seem to latch onto one. I'll wait until the dinner is over then make an excuse to leave. Then I can go back to my house alone. That will give me a whole night to figure out the best way to handle this. Even though I feel guilty about not telling Christian right away, I would feel even more guilty killing the happiness that is radiating through him. It's obvious Luke isn't going to say anything either right now, so I let some of the tension release from my body.
"Ana, what is it that you do?" Someone asks me and I am momentarily caught off guard. I have no idea how long I've been inside my head and I can feel the blush rising out of embarrassment. My brain finally registers that it was Luke who asked.
"I'm an editor for a local publishing house." I tell him with the best smile I can muster up at the moment. It's quiet around the table as I speak and I watch Sawyer's eyes quickly scan everyone sitting at the table then make their way back to me.
"That's awesome. What's your favorite genre to work with?" He asks and I can tell he is generally curious. He's not making small talk; he actually is interested in what I do.
"Right now it's crime novels, but to be honest I love almost every genre equally." My dorky smile appears like it always does when I talk about books. I quickly try to hide it away before anyone else sees it.
"She's incredibly smart. She went from assistant to editor in less than two months. She's increased their profits by 60 percent and she has two authors on the New York Times Bestsellers List." Christian brags on me and my blush radiates off me. I look up at him and he is looking at me with so much pride. Another emotion flutters across his eyes, but it is gone before I can figure out what it was. Our moment is broken by the waiter who has returned to take our order.
The rest of the night goes by slowly. Everyone is so enthralled with Christian and Luke as they reminisce about the "good ole days". Luke attempts to include me, but his attempts are always thwarted by someone else bringing up another hilarious story.
Our plates are cleared away and a few people order desserts. Christian orders us both one more glass of wine. I excuse myself politely, saying I need to use the ladies room. Only Christian and Luke notice. They kindly stand when I do. Christian pulls me flush against him before I move from the table.
"Want me to go with you?" He whispers huskily into my ear. I know he isn't being a gentleman with his offer. He is being the sex crazed man he normally is. He wants to fuck me in the bathroom and most nights I would be up for it. I shake my head no, remaining quiet as I start to move away from him but he pulls me back.
"Hey. You okay?" He asks. I finally look up at him, thinking he has caught on to how quiet I've been all evening, how crappy his friends treat me, or the fact Luke hasn't stopped staring at me all night. However, his true thoughts come out before I can answer. "You never turn down a fuck when it's somewhere we could get caught." I stare at him for a moment, reminding myself and the tears that are threatening to show that I do not cry in front of people. My impassive mask slips on and I feel my confidence return.
"I'm fine, I just need to actually use the restroom. I'll be back in a few." I don't give him time to respond as I pull away from him and make my way to the ladies' room. I quickly do my business and wash my hands. I stare at myself in the mirror.
"What the hell have you gotten yourself into, Steele?" I ask myself. I shake my head at my reflection. There is absolutely no way this can end well. No positive outcome is even remotely possible. I push all of these thoughts out of my head as I feel the anxiety start to build within me. I'll work through the best way to handle this when I get home, alone.
I make my way out of the bathroom when I realize Christian will be looking for me soon if I don't return. A strong hand grasps my arm and pulls me back. I swivel on the spot and see that familiar face from a year ago. I take him in fully this time - since the hallway has brighter lights than the dining room. His usually happy face that I remember has sadness etched all over it.
"Annie…" He calls me by my nickname, leaving it hanging between us. I speak up before he has a chance to say anything else.
"I need to get back before Christian comes looking for me." I tell him sincerely, not wanting to look like a bitch. He quickly halts me again.
"Wait. Give me 5 minutes." I look back towards the dining area, making sure we are completely out of view. I have no idea where this conversation will go or end up and I don't think an audience is needed.
"Okay, five minutes. Go." I tell him while my eyes bore into his. I want to give him my undivided attention now, to get whatever is resting on his chest out there. His mouth opens and closes clearly at a loss of how to start his words.
"I never thought I would see you again…" He says with a miserable look forming on his face followed by a frown. "I never thought I would see you again sitting next to my best friend as his date - his girlfriend."
"Luke-" I start but he cuts me off.
"No, don't. Let me get this out." He takes a deep breath and looks me square in the eyes. Luke is about as brave as I am. We don't shy away from speaking our minds and telling people exactly what we feel. The only problem is actually getting our vulnerable feelings out. We tend to hide those deeply, so I know this hard for him.
"I've been mesmerized by you all night." He chuckles and runs a hand through his brown hair. "No, I was mesmerized by you the moment I laid eyes on you the very first time. You told me upfront what type of relationship you were looking for. Better yet what you weren't looking for. So I surrendered myself to whatever you wanted, just so I could be around you. What we had was more than just fun. It was the most exhilarating time of my life. You taught me new things about life that I didn't even know existed. Then you left. I knew it was coming. I thought I was prepared for it, but I wasn't. That last night together, I planned to tell you that I loved you. I had fallen so hopelessly in love with you-"
"Luke, why are you bringing this up now? That was months ago…" I cut him off and try to shut this down at the same time. My gut is twisting at the fact he thought he loved me. It wasn't like that between us. He shakes his head and looks to the ceiling, clearly upset. I look back to the dining room, ready to get back to Christian.
"Do you love him?" My head whips around so quickly I fear I've given myself whiplash. The raw pain coming through in his words hit me like a bucket of cold water.
"No." It takes me no time to answer him truthfully. I don't do this whole love thing. I explained it to Luke and Christian along with every other man I've been with. I explain that if that's what they are looking for then our "relationship" is over before it started. They've all agreed they weren't looking for that and we've proceed to enjoy each other's company. And yes, by company I mean sex.
He lets out a shaky breath and wipes his hands over his face. It's quiet for a moment, but then he speaks again throwing me for a loop.
"Do you know how hard it is to watch my best friend and know he is in love with you? The same girl I loved months ago…that I still love now. Do you know how hard it is to know you don't love him, but how happy it makes me at the same time?" He asks sincerely.
"Christian and I don't love each other Luke. We have an agreement, one just like we did. He is not in love with me. You are not in love with me. It's lust, that it." I run my hands through my hair, tugging slightly in an attempt that the pain will make some of this anxiety disappear. "I'm going to tell Christian. I just want you to be prepared." I tell him. He nods his head solemnly and processes my words.
"Just give me until tomorrow to spend some time with him. He's like a brother to me. I just need one more day until everything comes crashing down." His words hit that deep ache in my heart. Another reminder of how close they are to each other. I nod my head once, agreeing to his timeline. I turn around and walk back towards the dining room without another word to Luke.
As I near, I see they are all still laughing at whatever is so hilarious at the moment. I slide in next to Christian and he pulls me into his side. He leans in close to me, leaving a very sensual kiss behind my ear. It doesn't give me the desired effect it used to though.
"Everything okay, baby? You were gone for longer than I expected." His breath tickles my ear as he whispers his concerns.
"I'm fine. There was a long line at the restroom." I give him the best smile I can muster up. His eyes travel from my lips to my eyes and he searches for the truth behind them. However, he doesn't find what he's looking for. He leans down to leave a soft kiss on my lips and he lingers there for a moment before pulling away. He checks his watch just as Luke is sliding into his seat. Christian's eyes swing between us before landing back on me. I flash him another smile before reaching for my drink.
Before long, we are all heading out of the restaurant. I can't say I'm sad to see dinner with these people end. I can say that I am thrilled to be heading home for the night - alone.
"Why doesn't everyone come back to our house for drinks and games?" Christian asks everyone loudly as we are standing in front of the restaurant. They all chime their unanimous answer of yes while my eyes bug out at the fact he just stated it was our house. He doesn't even notice his slip, but everyone else silently look between each other. Valet starts pulling cars around and I am thankful we are the last couple left, Luke having road with Elliot and Kate.
We climb in and before Christian makes the turn out of the parking lot, I spring my plans on him.
"Christian?" I call his name sweetly. He reaches over to grab my hand and wraps his around mine.
"Yes, baby?" His eyes shift to me then back to the road.
"I think I want to head home instead of your house." Keep it simple, Ana. I expected for us to talk about this just on the ride home, but not with Christian. Christian pulls off into a parking spot on the busy city street.
"What?! Why?" His outburst causes me to train my eyes on him. He is usually annoyed when I don't do what he wants, but this is different. There is some unnamed emotion lingering in his voice that I have never heard before.
"I'm tired. I've had a really long day and I don't want to drink anymore." I give him a smile with my words. It's all the truth. It's been a week from hell and if I drink anymore I'll just fall asleep.
"No." He says in a stern voice.
"What do you mean 'no'? I'm not asking you, I'm telling you I want to go home." I tell him as nicely as possible. What is up with him? I've never had him flat out refuse to take me home. He always attempts negotiations first.
"You can sleep at my house in the bed we share. I can move everyone to the media room and you won't even hear us. Also, I'll make sure everyone is gone before 1." I release a frustrated breath. See, here are his negotiations.
"Christian, I just want to go home. I'm sure I will see you tomorrow." I grab his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. I'm not trying to start a fight tonight. "Everyone is probably at your house by now waiting on you." I remind him when I look at the clock.
"I don't care about everyone else, Anastasia. You are my only concern and clearly something has happened to make you want to go home." He snaps at me and it catches me off guard.
"Nothing happened Christian." Lie. "I just want to go home. I don't feel like playing games and drinking any more tonight." Not a lie. He eyes me, trying once more to find any information in my eyes. He pulls onto the road and makes the normal route to my house. I'm pleased that he is taking me home, but I can still feel the awkward uncertainty rolling off him in waves. When we finally get to my house, he pulls in the driveway. He usually parks on the street if he is just dropping me off. Confused, I look at him as I see him reach for the keys.
"Why are you turning off the car? You don't need to walk me inside. It's only a few steps to the door." I giggle at his overbearing nature. He acts like the boogeyman can grab me within a second of stepping out of his car or his grasp. He looks at me, a trace of a smile forming on his lips at my giggle. He runs a hand through his hair and reaches for the door.
"Come on. I'm tired too. Let's go get in bed." He says while getting out of the car. I'm floored by his words. Why would he stay here when his friends are waiting for him at his house? I usually wait for him to open my door but not tonight. I slam it closed and meet him while he is rounding the massive suv.
"Why did you get out? You know I like opening the door for you." He says with an annoyed tone. I glare at him, annoyed myself.
"Christian, you are not staying the night. You have friends and family waiting on you at your house. You can't just leave them waiting for you all night." I feel exhausted at this point. We've spent the night apart before. Why is tonight different? I look up into his eyes and see the pain sitting there.
"I'm not worried about them, Ana. I'm worried about my girlfriend who doesn't want to go home with me or let me stay at her house." He is taking on his CEO persona and I feel my back straighten. Okay, Steele. Time to lay the law down like you've done several times before.
"Christian. Nothing is wrong. I simply want to go inside my house and crawl in bed. I want you to go home to your friends and your best friend. You've talk about this weekend for so long. Go enjoy it. Call me in the morning, okay?" I lean up and kiss his cheek, leaving no room for discussion. He grabs me, pulling me flush against him and nuzzling into my neck. I can feel the anxiety and tension in his body.
"I'll call you before I go to bed and then again in the morning when we decide to eat breakfast or lunch. You'll come, right?" He sounds like a lost boy right now. I run a hand through his hair and he closes his eyes while letting the feeling soak in.
"Just call me, okay?" One more kiss and I tell him goodbye. I get inside the house and rest against the front door after I shut it. The reality of what's going on finally hits me. I can feel the anxiety starting to form again in my stomach. The sweats start next. I run to the bathroom in the hall and throw up my dinner. I sink to the floor after, searching for the energy to get up. I'm going to lose Christian and mess up his relationship with his best friend. There is no way to win here, for anyone.
I find the strength I need to get up and take medicine for me stomach. I do that then proceed to get ready for bed. As I'm lying in bed, I make a mental list of all of my options. When I tell Christian he will go ballistic. He is an incredibly jealous man who will most likely end his friendship with Luke then end things with me. I try to continue my search for the right solution, but the medicine works faster than I remember. I'm asleep before I even form an option two.