Ya know that point in your life when you realize the shit's hit the fan?
Well, I just hit mine, big time.
It wasn't even the fact that Super- B has everything I ever wanted handed to her on a freakin' silver platter. Ya know, cool mom, cool friends, big cool house.
No, it was that after a stabbed slayer, eight months, a coma and a new, loving boyfriend, she still thinks she's better than me.
And she is.
And that's the bitch, ain't it.
'Cause her mom wasn't some drunk passed out on the couch with a ciggie in her hand.
No, her ma cooked, her ma cleaned the house every month, and was there when you got home and asked "How was school?"
'Cause she had friends, who cared about her, who talked to her, who LOVED her.
No, well, she had friends at all.
She wanted to be me. At first. She wanted to do shit, and not care who she hurt. She wanted the freedom that came with being Faith. But then, it got too freakin' dangerous for her.
'Cause I killed a man.
No, two.
Kinda like I want to kill the guy snoring like a freight train behind me.
I mean, why wouldn't I take what the Mayor gave me? He cared for me, he was there for me, he LOVED me.
And now he's dead.
We're Slayers. Killing is what we're built for. And I sure as Hell wasn't the first to kill a human.
She didn't like being me. She didn't like being pushed around. Well B, that's what being Faith is!
It's knowing you're worthless. It's knowing that no one cares whether you're dead or alive. That's being me.
I'm the girl that lives in flea pit. I'm the girl who shoplifts her clothes. I'm the girl who does all those stupid mistakes. I'm the girl who falls and doesn't have anyone to catch her.
I'm the girl who B is so close to being, if she just let go. And she wants to, doesn't she? To let go.
To be me.
Geez, I am fucked up, aren't I?
DisgustingStupidWorthlessStupidWrongWrongWrongWrongwrongwrongwrong.
God, I wish I was dead.
A/N: I love Faith.
She's my favourite character, maybe because I can identify with her. You know, crappy home life, crappy family, mom passed out on the couch with a cigarette (only mine isn't a drunk), the impulse to fix our problems with violence and the belief that we're less than everyone else. So, yeah she my favourite character cause she's so human.