USING YOUR MARBLES
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
ATTENTION: Any and all reports of my husband, Launchpad's death have been completely and totally exaggerated. Not that Launchpad hasn't faked his own death before. Not that there aren't plenty of dead FOWL hangers-ons and want-to-bes (who thus had no criminal record) whose name and social security numbers Launchpad could use. Not that I would not prefer to have Disney think him dead to have them bend, fold, spindlate and mutilate him.
With thanks to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "The Adventure of the Six Napoleons". Which I hope doesn't give the ending away.
Huey, Dewey and Louie were playing with some marbles that a toy manufacturer had given them, hoping to thus "butter up" their great-uncle.
"CLAY marbles? Whoever heard of clay marbles? Marbles are made of glass, not clay!" Huey said, looking at the clay marbles suspiciously.
"Unca Scrooge says that a long time ago, all marbles were made of clay!"(1) Dewey said.
"He probably played with clay marbles when he was a kid- if he was EVER a kid!" Louie commented.
"They're a lot cheaper than regular marbles, so you can buy more of them for less money. The manufacturer is hoping to sell them as "beginner's marbles"; you can lose them in a marble contest with less damage to your wallet! He's trying to get more kids to play marbles!" Mr. McDuck said, hearing them. "I don't allow companies to buy expensive gifts for you boys, I consider that a bribe. But these marbles are inexpensive, so it's OK."
"We certainly got enough marbles." said Louie, for they did get quite a lot.
Nobody knew that the Beagle Boys were sneaking around the mansion, watching all this, waiting for Mr. McDuck to leave.
Once Duckworth drove Mr. McDuck someplace or the other, the Beagle Boys started sneaking towards the boys. The Trins were so involved in their marble playing, they did not notice.
But Launchpad was landing in his helicopter, delivering something to the mansion. Launchpad came when Mr. McDuck was NOT around on purpose. April the 15 was coming and that makes "Mr. McDee" grumpier than usual.
Launchpad, looking down in preparing to land the copter, saw the Beagle Boys sneaking towards the Triplets. Launchpad naturally thought they had kidnapping in mind.
Launchpad screamed, "Look out! The Beagle Boys!"
However the boys could not hear him over the racket the helicopter was making. But they did look up and saw Launchpad flying frantically about.
Watching Launchpad, they saw the Beagles. And ran. And completely forgot about their marbles. The Beagle Boys ran out and slipped on the marbles and fell.
Then something weird happened. Instead of chasing the kids, the Beagles Boys started grabbing up the marbles, both the loose ones and the ones in bags.
This got the Trins angry.
"Hey! Those are OUR marbles!" Huey screamed.
And Huey grabbed up the marbles in bags before the Beagles could.
"Well, these guns say that they're our marbles NOW!" Big Time replied.
"Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Big Time? Stealing marbles from three kids? Not living up to your name, are you?" Dewey said.
"That shows what YOU know! This is a Big Time crime, all right!" Big Time sneered. "Now hand over those marbles and we don't have to air condition you!"
"Er...Maybe we should? The clay marbles we got free...if they're really crazy enough to shoot to get them?" Louie began, tying to be sensible.
"We're crazy like a fox! Hand over those marbles!" Big Time ordered.
But Launchpad had, in the meantime, switched the copter to "silent running" mode and had positioned himself right above the Beagles. They saw the shadow of his copter and looked up. And saw Launchpad's copter coming down...directly above them.
Somehow, the Beagles Boys ran like fun. Launchpad chased them in his copter, trying to "herd" them towards the cops...but the Beagles are slippery. The headed down Duckburg's subway (2) where Launchpad's copter could not follow. By the time Launchpad had found a safe place to land, the Beagles where long gone.
"Are you boys OK?" Launchpad asked. "Did those bums try to hurt you?"
"They threatened to shoot us if we didn't give them our marbles! And they're just clay marbles, not even glass!" Huey answered.
And he showed Launchpad the painted clay marbles.
"They didn't try to kidnap you?" Launchpad asked.
"No! It was weird! They weren't interested in the Money Bin, the mansion or us! All they seemed to care about was the marbles!" Louie said.
"That is weird. Boys, what do you say I take you on a little visit to the marble factory and we look around there and ask some questions? Maybe we can find out what's what!" Launchpad suggested.
"Good idea!" the boys chorused.
They needed Launchpad's copter to get there and back before supper- the factory was NOT in Duckburg, but south of the border in Mexico.
"Mr. McDee has a lot of new factories in Mexico." Launchpad said.
"The people there work cheaper than Americans and building factories there keep them from being desperate enough for work to sneak over to the US in the first place. It's close to the US, so shipping is cheaper- and that creates jobs in the US. The shipping, I mean." Huey said.
"I still think he should build more factories in the US!" Dewey replied.
"He does that, too!" Louie commented.
Launchpad landed near the factory and asked for permission to 'tour" the place. Once the man in charge realized who the boys WERE, he naturally went out of his way to be VERY, VERY NICE to them.
"Follow us, Senor Grande Rojo (3). We will show you and the boys all the factory and answer all their questions.," the foreman said.
"My name's Launchpad!" Launchpad said.
The boys laughed. Launchpad had put up with comments on his hair before. Especially in places where red heads are scarce.
"Forgive me, senor. But with that hair of yours...and your size! You will be Grande Rojo for the whole trip here, I'm afraid!" the foreman replied.
By asking some questions, they found out that the factory's security guard had found the Beagles sneaking around and turned them over to the cops. The Beagles had not stolen anything from the factory, so after serving time for "breaking and entering" and/or "trespassing", they were kicked over the border back to the US.
"Curiouser and curiouser", as a girl named Alice once said." muttered Huey.
"First, the Beagles are caught sneaking around a marble factory, only they didn't steal anything...then they try to steal our marbles." Louie commented.
"Which were made at the same factory." Dewey said.
"Maybe they lost their marbles?" Launchpad joked. "Even here, the workers get paid by check...there's only petty cash here at this factory...nothing valuable, not even their product! All they make here is marbles!"
They headed back to Duckburg, to the mansion. To find the cops talking to Duckworth. The Beagle Boys had returned to the mansion in their absence and had ordered poor Duckworth to hand the marbles over to them.
"I informed those hoodlums that the young masters had taken the marbles when they left and I had no idea where they were nor when they would be back. Fearing Gizmoduck would spot them if they stayed much longer, they left." Duckworth stated.
"But Duckworth- we left our marbles in our room!" Huey said.
"You mean you "young gentlemen" actually PUT YOUR TOYS AWAY IN YOUR ROOM WHERE THEY BELONG? However was I supposed to know that? The last time I saw those marbles, you were playing with them outside. When the Beagles demanded them, the marbles were no longer there. I naturally assumed you had taken them with you. It never occured to be you would put them away properly." Duckworth replied.
Launchpad frankly suspected Duckworth had fibbed to the Beagles to get rid of them, but he could hardly blame the guy.
"Er- Officer? The Beagles were here earlier and they demanded that we give them our marbles." Dewey began.
"And before that, they were caught sneaking around the marble factory where they were made." Louie continued.
"Why would the Beagles be so interested in some kids marbles?" the cop asked.
"That what WE'VE been TRYING to figure out!" Launchpad said.
"Could you show us these marbles?" cop asked.
"Sure." Huey said.
And he went upstairs to his room and returned shortly with 3 bags full of marbles. Two big bags and one little bag. The cops examined the marbles and carefully they broke them apart. Nothing but pieces of broken clay.
"What about the little bag?" Launchpad asked.
"Those are the shooters.'" Huey said.
"They're bigger and heavier than the others." Dewey added.
"Bigger and heavier than any of the marbles we saw at the factory." Louie finished.
And then Louie thought about what he had just said.
"Bigger and heavier than any marble we saw at the factory. That's not possible. The marbles were made at that factory, all mass-produced, all the same. How can these marbles be so much bigger and heavier than any we saw there?" Louie asked.
The cops took the last bag of marbles and carefully broke the marbles apart, to find pearls- BLACK pearls- hidden inside the marbles.
"Black pearls are very valuable...and there are quite a large number of them here." the cop said.
The cop took the pearls to the police car, just as Mr. McDuck arrived in a cab.
"Duckworth! What is going on here? Why didn't you come to get me? Why are the police here?" Mr. McDuck demanded.
The cop exited the police car to explain and to calm Mr. McDuck down.
Big Time took advantage of this distraction and his lack of height to sneak to the police car, where the pearls were. Seeing that the cop had absent-mindedly left the keys in the car (oops!), Big Time swiped the police car. Which was a STUPID thing to do, it made it very easy to spot him and chase him. It did not take very long before the pearls and Big Time had been recaptured.
Mr. McDuck wanted to see the pearls that had caused all this trouble, and the police allowed him to exam them before taking them in as evidence.
"But...these are DYED pearls! These are ordinary pearls...dyed black! Still valuable...but worth only a fraction of what genuine much rarer black pearls are worth!" Mr. McDuck said.
"You're kidding! Me and bunch of other Beagles, we robbed a Mexican freighter of a jewerly shipment!" Big time began.
"Those black pearls were our share of the loot! But the cops were after us...we gave them the slip at the marble factory, but we had to hide the pearls. " Big Time continued.
"We threw them into the marble making vat, intending to come back for them later. Then that stupid security guard caught us and we spent time in a Mexican pokey! By the time we got out, we found out the marbles from that vat had been given as a gift...to Scroogie's nephew's! We tried to steal them back! And all that for ORDINARY pearls." Big Time said in disgust.
"Which you don't get. But you do "get" to go to a US jail...for quite some time!" The cop said.
The End.
With thanks to the Ducktales episode "The Pearl of Wisdom", which I didn't mention before lest I give the whole thing away.
(1) I think so. I'm not sure.
(2) Yes, Duckburg has a subway. Quote Mr. McDuck in "Jungle Duck", right after he swung on a vine: "I think I prefer the subway."
(3) Please forgive this Gringo if I'm getting this wrong. I took four year High School FRENCH and I don't speak that any better. If I DID get it wrong, PLEASE correct me and I'll fix it.