Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah. I'm not a middle-aged rich Japanese man who draws manga for a living. Therefore, Saint Seiya is not mine.
Notes: I actually wrote this several weeks ago on the ssf forum, but I just decided to post it here today. Thanks to DHC for leaving me such a kind comment on the forum.
It's about Ikki and Esmeralda, and volcanoes and sanity. Just read, ne?
Crazy
He was pretty sure he was crazy.
Wait, scratch that. He knew he was crazy. What type of sane person talks to a dead girl in a volcano anyway?
Of course, not that he never talked to her when he wasn't in the volcano. But the volcano made him more comfortable, because no one would hear him or judge him there.
He told her everything. He told her about wanting to die sometimes, about how frustrated he got with himself, about how his friends meant so much to him but he was afraid to say anything to them, and about all the ways he loved her. He told her because she listened to him patiently every time, and never tried to explain to him that he was wrong, or how to change himself into who he should be.
To her, he was already who he should be.
Once he had asked her if she loved him. She had laughed. Of course she loved him. Why did he even ask if he knew the answer?
But he asked because he wanted to be with her, and she still wouldn't let him die. If she loved him, why wouldn't she let him be with her?
She had grown serious, her small face turning towards him, and she had told him he should not die. What if she were the one alive instead? Would he want her to die just to see him again?
No.
They both knew the answer, even if neither of them said it aloud.
Maybe she wasn't even really there. Sometimes he was pretty sure he was making it all up in his head. He was crazy, after all. But he would definitely rather tell himself he was, for once, just a little sane. Maybe he was talking to her soul or something.
It hardly mattered. She was there, and that was all he cared about. As long as she was there when he needed it, and as long as she promised never to leave him. Of course, if he was making it all up, that would never happen. He didn't really know.
But she had been the only normal part of Death Queen Island. She had been the only reason he had survived his training, and was the only reason he was still alive now. Because as much as he cared about his brother, he knew Shun would be more than capable of handling situations by now. As overprotective as he was, it would only last until he could die, and this he knew and accepted.
Sometimes he wondered what his friends would think of him, acting like some emo anti-hero from the books that Seiya liked to read. Not that Seiya or anyone had had much time to read. Of course, now they were all on something like military leave from Athena, to do whatever they wanted. Seiya went back to Tokyo to visit the orphanage and read his books and play soccer. Hyoga went to Siberia to visit friends and his mama's grave. Shiryu went to Rozan to live with Roshi and Shunrei, and work in the fields. Shun travelled around from Andromeda Island to Japan, to see various people.
And he himself went to a volcano to talk to a dead girl.
Yes, he was definitely crazy.