UPDATE: This story was featured on WTFFanfics!
This Story was written by both me and xxXJoyousEmoXxx, we each took turns writing parts of it, creating a complete crack story. She wrote the bolded parts while I wrote the regular text parts. Neither of us own Naruto.
Naruto was on a plane with his friends going to the Hidden Cloud Village to visit his friend Bee. All of his orphan friends where on it, so Sakura wasn't there. Shino is an orphan now too, since he wanted to go so badly he killed his parents to get on. Shikamaru and Choji where also on it. Choji was on because his parents died of diabetes. Shikamaru was allowed on since he can basically kill the whole village...but only at night. Even Ino was on it.
"I get to go since everyone loves me!"
"Shut up and get back to the luggage compartment!" Naruto shouted.
"But it's creepy back there, Orochimaru is there..."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sasuke screamed.
Then Orochimaru slithered from the luggage. "Who was it that screamed that sexy scream? Was it yooooou Sasuke?"
"It was Naruto. Rape him and leave me alone..."
"'S' is my favourite letter, it stands for my favourite things...Sex, Sasuke, and SNAAAKES!" Orochimaru shouted and threw snakes everywhere.
"I'm sick of these mutha fucking snakes on this mutha fucking plane!" Sasuke yelled.
"You're not gangster you know..." Shikamaru said as he went to sleep.
"Sasuke, did you know that this is also a cargo plane? It's carrying a shipment of tomatoes in the back...come, let me show you Sasuke...hehe" Orochimaru said.
"Maybe Orochimaru isn't so bad..." Sasuke said.
"Bitch gonna get raped, word," Said Naruto
"You're not gangster!"
Then Sasuke followed Orochimaru to the back.
Then the pilot, Jiraiya made an announcement, "Please return to your seats, we will be taking off soon!" Then Sasuke returned.
"Dayum, what happened?"
Shikamaru woke up and said, "Stop talking like that!"
"Why you being so mean? Is it 'cause I'm black?"
"Hitler tried to get everyone to look like you! You aren't black!"
"What happened to you Sasuke?" Choji asked.
"He told me there were tomatoes in his pants...I believed him..."
"There there Sasuke, many bums have been raped by him..."
"No I'm alone! I'm the only Uchiha...except for Itachi and that masked bitch."
"I'm trying to comfort you for rape, I didn't sign up for family problems!"
"And I didn't sign up for hugs!"
"Oh...sorry..." Naruto released Sasuke.
Then Sakura walked down the aisle selling peanuts.
"SAKURA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Naruto screamed
"I didn't want to be left out, so I got a job here! Sasuke marry me!"
"I'm already engaged!"
"WHAT? To who? I'll cut her tits off!"
"...to Naruto...no homo."
Then Naruto tried to protect his bewbs.
"Well I can't cut his boobs off...Where's Ino?"
"NO! These are all I have that are worth something!" Ino screamed as she ran into the luggage compartment.
"Fine then, where's Choji?"
Then Choji walked back from the bathroom, "What? Someone looking for me?"
"GIVE ME YOUR TITS!"
Then Sakura cut off Choji's moobs.
"These are a trophy! I shall wear them with pride!" Sakura then stitched the moobs to her chest.
"Ha! I have boobs now! LOVE ME!"
But then Choji human-bouldered her off the plane, which created a bunch of turbulence which caused Choji to puke on Neji's fabulous hair.
"NOOOO! My fabulous hair! The pride of the Hyuugas!" Then Neji 8-trigrams-64-palmed Choji off the plane. The sudden displacement of that much weight caused even more turbulence.
"This is the pilot speaking, we just hit a lot of turbulence...we might be crashing..."
"No! Not without my hair! Everyone knows that the rescue crew saves the prettiest ones first!"
"Shouldn't they save Hinata first, since she's basically royalty?" Shino asked.
"Hinata? No! I must be prettiest! She must die!" Neji shouted. Neji tried to attack Hinata but was stopped by his Hyuuga tramp stamp...on his face.
"This is the pilot speaking...again...looks like we're going to crash in the middle of the ocean. So if you're not cool with that now's a good time to kill yourself."
"Sasuke darling we're going to die!"
"What do we do Naruto...babe..."
"Kiss me one last time! ...no homo." and then they kiss but it SO wasn't gay (take THAT fan gurls!)
"No! My precious Sasuke is going to die! I'll save you Sasuke!" Orochimaru yelled as he slithered out of the luggage again and threw life jackets on Sasuke. "...that life jacket it makes you...so...KAWAII!"
"What!? We're going to Hawaii?" asked Kabuto who appeared out of know where.
"No, we're going to die in a watery grave...but at least Sasuke looks super cute! And I get to die with him! It's perfect!"
"And I get to die with you!" Kabuto said as he hugged Orochimaru.
"Ew Kabuto! I'm a pedophile, it's completely different from being gay! Go back and watch my luggage!"
"I think...I'll go kill myself. Don't bother mourning my death!" and then he jumped out of the plane. At first Orochimaru was a little sad...but then he saw Sasuke...
"Um...Orochimaru...can you stop drooling on me..." Sasuke asked.
"...no."
"He's with his husband no homo! We're trying to enjoy our last moments together!" yelled Naruto.
"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Sakura as she jumped up from the bottom of the ocean back up to the plane.
"Dammit bitch we don't want you!" Neji said he kicked Sakura back down to the water.
"We're going down," Jiraiya reminded them.
"I'm going to speak for the first time," said Hinata.
"Too late!"
Then they crashed in the water, and the plane started sinking.
"Hmm...something on this plane is different..." Shikamaru said as he woke up.
"Naruto...I know this may come as a surprise to you but I'm gay," said Sasuke
"What!? No way, who would've thought? I can't believe my husband is gay! Well, at least we die together!"
"Not today!" Suddenly Killer Bee in Eight tails form burst out of the water and saved everyone.
"Bee, what are you doing here, why aren't you in the Hidden Cloud Village?" Naruto asked.
"I'm an octopus, why would I be in the clouds?"
"OMG A GIANT OCTOPUS! I'll save you Sasuke!" Orochimaru shouted as he attacked and killed Bee. Then with no giant octopus to save them everyone drowned. And then Madara won and there was a huge fan-base suicide. The End.