Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin…
The first time Severus saw her, his face flamed so fiercely that he almost set a bush on fire. She wasn't just pretty. She was a witch, too. They were one of a kind.
She held a sparrow in her hands and made it sing like a nightingale, in the middle of the day no less. She wasn't just beauty. She produced beauty, too.
…dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove…
She had a sister. A muggle sister of no importance to him – or anyone else. She was sour and annoying and despised her little sister for all the attention she was getting and all the cool things she could do. Severus saw it as his duty to protect his new friend from her sister's constant, nasty remarks.
It was easier than protecting his mother from his father's violence.
"Doesn't your dad like magic?" she had asked.
"He doesn't like anything much", he had replied and kept the details to himself. What happened at home didn't matter at all when he was lying on the grass next to her, making flowers fly and tree leaves tear themselves apart. All that mattered was that he finally had someone on his side. Her.
…dance me to the end of love.
Oh, let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone…
"Sev!"
The sound of Lily's voice brought Severus back to reality. He blinked.
"What?"
"You've been staring at me the whole lesson. Is there something wrong?" asked Lily curiously. The innocence in her voice frustrated him. Couldn't she just figure it out and make things easier for him?
Severus looked at his cauldron. He didn't remember adding a single ingredient in his potion and yet it was slowly simmering, rightly coloured, the way it should be. Severus looked up and found Lily's green eyes still questioning him. He gazed deep in them for a few moments, struggling with letting his eyes show his feelings without looking like an idiot at the same time.
He settled for a quiet retreat.
"Sorry, I didn't realize it", he shrugged. "Potter is staring at you as well", he pointed out and pretended to focus on his potion, even if it didn't require his attention at all.
Lily turned and looked behind her shoulder. Sure enough, Potter was looking at her smiling; his smile turned into a grin when he saw he had caught her attention. She scowled at him and returned to her cauldron. Boys…
…let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon
show me slowly what I only know the limits of…
The corridor was dark. There was no moon to howl at. She was moving up against him, advancing to him, coming closer. He was at loss for words. He came this close to telling her, to letting her know…
…dance me to the end of love.
…but then she was gone. Forever.
For a long time, all Severus could do was sit by and watch. Watch her care for him turned into dislike and how her dislike for Potter turned to care. He could faintly hear Potter singing to her the lines he never had the chance to sing to her himself…
Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long
We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above.
They married. They loved. They were loved.
As if he didn't already hate him enough for making his school years a living hell, now he was married to the woman Severus loved, too. What was next? Would he join the Death Eaters and become the Dark Lord's favourite? No, he couldn't do that. James Potter hated the dark arts. Potter would never come near that. So, this is where Severus sought shelter…
Dance me to the children who are asking to be born…
Severus Snape had made so many mistakes when it came to Lily Evans in the past. He had hurt her sister in his anger when he was nine years old. He had been oppressively jealous when they were thirteen. He had been inexplicably mean when they were fifteen. Most of all, he had been a coward. But nothing he had ever done or refrained from doing could be compared to this.
The Dark Lord pondered over the prophecy for days. A boy, born at the end of July, to parents who had thrice defied him. He set out to kill James and Lily Potter and their son. Time went by and he couldn't find them. Dumbledore was protecting them. Severus hoped the Dark Lord would give up and let them live. But he was no fool to truly believe it.
At the end of October, they were betrayed. Lord Voldermort found them in their hiding place. He lost his power as he tried to kill Harry Potter…but not before it was too late. He had killed her.
He had killed her. Severus Snape had killed Lily Evans. He wasn't the one to raise his wand at her. He wasn't the one who betrayed her and her husband to the Dark Lord. But he was the one to deliver the prophecy to him… He was responsible for her death and this guilt would never go away.
*
...dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn
Dance me to the end of love…
The blood kept dripping from his open wounds. Memories flooded before his eyes, filling them with tears. By some miracle, the Potter boy was there, right next to him, trying to stop his bleeding. It gave him comfort to have someone, even the boy he so disliked, keeping him company while he died.
Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in
Touch me with your naked hand, touch me with your glove…
"Take it… take it…" Severus almost coughed the words out as his breath was slowly leaving his body. His memories were spilled along with blood out of his head. Potter gathered them in a vial. Would these memories be enough for the boy to trust him? Would they be enough for Severus to be forgiven? In these last moments of his life, could he find it in him to forgive his own self?
"Look at me…" he whispered.
The green eyes found the black, but after a second, something in the depths of the dark pair seemed to vanish, leaving them fixed, bland, and empty. The hand holding Harry thudded to the floor, and Snape moved no more.In that one last second, Severus Snape looked in Lily's eyes, which were attached on Harry's face, and he saw that he was forgiven.
…dance me to the end of love.
It was finally the end.
END