Disclaimer: By no means do I own the Twilight Saga. It is property of Stephenie Meyer.

What are Big Brothers for?

Emmett was waiting to pick me up after I talked to Bella in the woods. Hadn't I told them about a hundred times over that I did not need anyone to drive me to Alaska, as well as that I did have legs and I could use them…? It was true that I had let them use my cars along with the others'. Alice, Rosalie and Esme had so many clothes that apparently two cars and a huge Jeep weren't enough; no, they wanted four cars and a huge Jeep.

Even if they irritated me, I could totally get their point. They were afraid I was going to run away. They were right. I wanted to do just that. I didn't want them to suffer along with me so I planned to rid them of my presence. I had been planning on going to… basically anywhere that wasn't near Forks was all right. But there was a problem. It would never be all right. I would never be alright. Not without my angel. Not without Bella. She was everything to me. Without her I was nothing; just an empty shell.

"The worst thing is that I not only left her. I hurt her, lied to her, called her unworthy of me while, in truth, I am not worthy of her. It killed me to do it, and yet, I cannot take it back."

If she had only fought, she had thrown things, she had screamed, anything, I would have given in. I was ready to do so but, with the thought that she would be safe without me, I had gone through with it. There was, however, something that I couldn't understand.

"Why did she believe me so easily? Why didn't she fight for me? She gave up at once." How could a castle built with so many 'I love you' crumble so easily with one sentence? "'Bella, I don't want you to come with me'; just one sentence…" Before Bella, my life was like a painting someone started, but never finished. They only made a few lines here and there. Bella's arrival into my life completed the painting; then every line was drawn, everything beautiful and brightly coloured. Now that she's gone from my life, she has left me with nothing. The painting now is blank, because the bright colours have blinded me and I can't see even those half-made lines.

"Of course, I don't blame her for my pain. It is my entire fault." To my family, I had pretended to be light-hearted and started joking around, but who was I kidding? And speaking of jokes… where the hell was Emmett?

That brought me out of the trance I hadn't realised I had fallen into, only acknowledging its existence when I felt it leaving. It was raining, and someone was carrying me through the forest in their arms.

Oh Eddie, what did you do?

Emmett. That was just my luck! Couldn't he leave me to brood in peace?

"Hey, Eddie!" Come on, Ed, wake up! What's got into you?

Apparently not.

"Don't call me Eddie," I snapped- or tried to, anyway; my voice seemed dead even to me. I tried to get Emmett to let me down, but he was adamant to keep his promise to Rosalie, under the threat of no sex for a month. I was also feeling a little weakened, as if I had not fed for months.

"You can still go back, you know," he told me, as if anything he said would make me feel better. I can see what it's doing to you; plus you can't up and run from my clearly superior strength. She won't hold it against you, she loves you. All it will take is me vouching for your lies.

'How would you know if I've just stopped loving her?' I wanted to ask him, but I knew if would lead nowhere. Somewhere inside, hidden by the 'fun and games and Rose' attitude, Emmett understood me. He knew I loved Bella with everything that I was, knew it even better than Jasper, the one who could feel all emotions; he knew that after this I would be irreparable, and in his thoughts I could see he knew my plans for when she would die, where even Alice had not foreseen it- until then, at least.

Maybe it came with being the big brother. Jasper was my big brother as well, but he had come into the family much later. I had always wanted a big brother, even as a human. The first years as a vampire I had not much cared about such things and, after I had come back, I had a mother and a father so the need was not so prominent. I started longing for a big brother again after Rosalie was added to our family of three. I wished he would put her in her place; even though in that aspect Emmett disappointed me, he was the best brother I could ever ask for. Plus, he did help with the 'Rosalie' problem; she was much easier to live around after Emmett came into our lives.

"You know you won't stand it and come back, don't you? The pixie psychic has warned you, and yet you want to prove her wrong when she has never been wrong before. Why don't you just go back and spare yourself the pain? I know the decision is yours," he said just before I opened my mouth to object, "but I can't bear to see my little brother hurting. You can walk away from us, and I'll worry even more. I've already lost my little sister; don't make me lose my little brother too."

"I am older than you," I tried to growl, in an effort to maintain my resolve. He would be alright; there was no reason to worry.

"That is technically a technicality and you know it!" he accused.

"But, you won't try to change my mind?" I asked him, changing the topic abruptly.

"Nope, I just try to tell you how much I'll miss you." Oh, and just to make things clear. "Of course I think you are an asshole for leaving her but did you expect me to start shouting at you like there was no tomorrow, like certain vampires we know?"

I laughed a little, a hollow sound that seemed not to originate from my mouth. I think it worried Emmett. In the meantime, we had come to where his Jeep was parked. He deposited of me in the passenger seat, closing the door immediately. I growled at him, but I would not be so mean as to destroy his car.

"Let's get you home." After all, that's what big brothers are for.

The End

So, how was it? Ren over and out!

Started: 23/5/2011

Finished: 14/12/2011