The red carpet has been rolled out like the tongue of some glitzy monster, with the flashing light bulbs of photographers, journalists and various members of the paparazzi lining each side, frenzied and maddened to snap shots of the glamorous film stars who walked proudly, elegantly and rather superciliously up the high-profile red path.
Yes, it was the Oscars, probably the most prestigious film-accolade show in the world, and the 84th annual ceremony was well underway on a cool, Californian night in the February of 2012.
All the A-list celebrities were there, the actresses in their million dollar outfits, packed to the gills with silicon, and the strutting actors, with their cheap good looks and toothy smiles. They were all gathered for the hope of a reward...an award...to recognise their so called talent to the masses, and everyone was hoping for something, if not everything.
Emotions were high with interest and competition; what film would win what? Who was gonna walk away with the most awards? Who was going to steal the show?
Well, to answer that last question, let's say he wasn't on the guest list.
"Right, onto our next award!" said the pompous voice of Alec Baldwin, the host of the ceremony for the umpteenth time. The emotive winner of the previous award, after giving her acceptance speech with thanks to her "mother, dog and bartender", had returned to her seat in the massive crowd, a golden statue in hand and a new air of cinematic smugness surrounding her.
"This award is for the Best Supporting Actor in a feature length movie. For a movie to be, in any way, good, it needs to have not only a strong leading cast, but a strong supporting cast as well to, let's say, effectively prop them all up and give the movie new life, talent, and unforgettable performances.
"To present this award, let me present a renowned actor in the movie world, a man who has starred in more films than woman I've slept with..."
The crowd let out an awkward laugh, but most people just looked at their neighbour with incredulity. Baldwin looked like he just gave a joke to upstage Benny Hill, and carried onward with his air of comfortableness and pomposity.
"May I present the brilliant Tom Hanks!"
The crowd clapped enthusiastically as Mr Hanks came sauntering out of the stage door at the back, waving and smiling whilst carrying the golden envelope carrying the golden answer everyone wanted to hear.
Baldwin handed over his podium to Hanks with a polite applause, and the latter stood there, smiling and laughing until the crowd died down.
"Thank you Al, for that delightful bit of information you gave us all then..."
The crowd laughed, including, despite himself, Baldwin.
"Right, as Al said, a supporting cast is very important for any movie. Some have rubbish, wooden supporting casts...yes, I'm looking at you Twilight! Nah, only joking...or maybe not..."
The crowd laughed again. Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart, nestled near the front of the audience with the rest of the Twilight twaddle, laughed with the rest of them.
"And, of course, some films have great supporting casts. But which has the greatest supporting actor? Well, that's what we're all waiting to find out.
"The nominations for Best Supporting Actor are..."
The massive television screen subtended above the theatre lit up with the grand, golden words, "BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR", and the nominations began.
"Jamie Bell for the role of John Rivers in 'Jane Eyre'..."
There was moderate applause, coupled with a few clips from the aforementioned period drama.
"Kevin Bacon for the role of Sebastian Shaw in 'X-Men First Class'..."
More applause followed.
"Jim Broadbent for the role of Denis Thatcher in 'The Iron Lady'..."
Some more applause.
"...and Alan Rickman for the role of Severus Snape in 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2'..."
The loudest applause was beckoned at this announcement.
"And the winner issssss..." said Tom Hanks slowly, opening the envelope. "Jamie Bell!"
The build up to an applause occurred, but within a second of the utterance of the winners name all the lights had turned off all over the stage, plunging the theatre into total darkness. There were shrieks of surprise and shock, and the amplified sound of Tom Hanks scuffling and getting his bearings on the stage.
"Well...this has never happened before!" he said. "Hey...who is that...get off me...ARGHHHHHH!"
His shriek echoed over the crowd, which fell silent, before everything went totally silent.
"Hello America..." came an incredibly familiar voice through the hush. "It seems you've made a rather big mistake..."
The lights flashed on again, and on the stage, instead of the now missing Tom Hanks, was an instantly recognisable man wearing his signature black robes, with his black, oily hair and sallow demeanour; it was Severus Snape.
The crowd watched, stunned, before some laughed, thinking it was some dramatic performance and Alan Rickman was doing some fun for the crowd as his titular character.
"Silencio!" said Snape, and their laughing disappeared immediately, replaced by a shock stifling. "That's better..."
He began pacing the stage to an intensely surprised crowd, and the broadcasters upstairs were so intrigued and astonished, they continued to roll the live footage to equally shocked homes all over America and the world.
"It seems that, at this award show for the most prestigious films of the cinematic year, Deathly Hallows Part 2 seems to have escaped your attention in several notable aspects..."
The audience hung on every syllable.
"So, to rectify your mistake, I'm going to take this Oscar, cos Alan Rickman bloody well deserved it! Did any of you see Deathly Hallows Part 2? Did you see him cry over the dead body of his one true fricking love? Did you see how incredibly amazing he was throughout?"
The crowd murmured imperceptible things.
"Well, I'm taking this Oscar, as Harry Potter finally deserves such an accolade! It's been the most amazing film franchise in cinematic history, and has ended in a spectacular fashion! It deserves every award you can throw at it!"
Snape then turned to the Twilight crew.
"Hey! Twilamers! You see this?"
He brandished the trophy wildly.
"Oggle whilst you can, you're never gonna get your hands on it, or any Oscar for that matter! LOL!"
They all looked stunned.
"Harry Potter FTW!" he said loudly, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. The crowd, stunned into a low silence, looked at each other in bewilderment.
Alec Baldwin returned to the stage, and coughed pointedly.
"Um...well...I guess the award goes to Alan – I mean, Snape – I mean...Alan...well...the guy who just...oh you know what I mean..."
"Oh and by the way..." said the voice of Snape again, this time from one of the upper balconies. Everyone gasped at his reappearance, the last doubters of Snape's genuineness beginning to lose their resolve of sagacity."Give me the Best Picture Oscar and no one gets Avada Kedavred. Toodles!"
And with that he disappeared again in a brash flash...
Alan Rickman suddenly awoke in his bed, dazed from the dream he had just experienced. His partner, Rima, awoke at the abruptness of her husband.
"What is it dear?" she asked gently, rubbing her eyes.
"Dream...just a dream..." said Alan, shaking his head.
"What was it about?"
"The Oscars. I won the Best Supporting Actor award..."
Rima smiled.
"Oh Alan...that's not a dream...that's an inevitability..."