One-Line Summary: A One Shot about a spunky "I can do anything" cheerleader's final meeting with the Infamous Lex Luthor! (Rated M for safety)
More Than One Way To Skin A Cat
(A/N: This one-shot [which happens to be my first at FFN] comes with not one, but two advisories. The first is that the reader should be aware that this story contains the death of a major level AU character; those who do not like such events in tales associated with Ms. Possible and/or her fellow characters are encouraged to read no further, but instead check out the many other KP tales at fanfiction [some of my future efforts will be of a lighter tone]. The second cautionary notice is that this one-shot contains a partial spoiler related to my "Multiversing With Kim" story [I will resume working on its ninth chapter after placing this one-shot out for your reading pleasure], and if you haven't already completed reading up to Chapter Six of MwK, you may wish to defer this read for a bit until you have. And if you have gotten this far in reading this A/N and are firmly resolved in continuing to the end of this humble offering no matter what, I have only two things left to say: Please enjoy, and then send a review and/or a PM at your convenience. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Please and thank you!)
****Please View Disclaimers at End of Story*****
The teenage cheerleader carefully made her through the darkened passageway. She was fully aware of the challenges she faced ahead, but knew that failure was truly not an option. Her boyfriend had been unfairly imprisoned by the super-criminal Lex Luthor. She knew that with things the way they were, she was his only hope for freedom.
She moved with the stealth of a ninja, almost as silent as a cat. Unfortunately for her, the Mark V BattleSuit Luthor wore had excellent audio amplifiers and transducers, and he heard her as clearly as if she had been the proverbial "bull in a china shop". He could even clearly hear her rapidly beating heart, and he looked forward to the now-near-future when that disturbing noise would be ended forever. He smiled as he said his greeting to his prey.
Good evening…Cheerleader!
The teenager, startled, quickly turned to face the super-criminal, and tried to explain.
Mr. Luthor, it's not what it looks like! I was only going to visit him and let him know that I loved him and that the Justice League was working with the lawyers to get him released from your custody so that I could take him back home. You holding him incommunicado is truly so ferociously unfair. He never meant to trespass on your property and certainly isn't any sort of security risk to you or your operations!
Let's not beat around the bush, Cheerleader! You know how I felt when you saved the Kryptonians and embarrassed me in front of my entire world. The Joker himself laughed at me! And the rest of the world, including the Daily Planet, kept harping on the "Cheerleader versus Lex Luthor" story!
But, Mr. Luthor, you were killing Superman and Supergirl with that Kryptonite meteor rock! I just couldn't let them die! I don't want anyone to die, including you!
But defeating me in front of the whole world - that you could do, couldn't you?
"You were still alive, Mr. Luthor! You still had a chance to change-"Luthor cut off the fearful cheerleader's reply.
But then I found out your secrets, and your weaknesses. Your boyfriend is one of the latter, so I 'arranged' to have your boyfriend find himself in one of my top security areas, so I could then place him in 'temporary' detention to push you out of your comfort zone and off balance. I then made sure that a rumor about his pending doom was leaked to you, so that you would do exactly what I wanted you to do. I guess that, everything considered, you really are just an average girl.
"What are you going to do now, Mr. Luthor?"
"I am wearing a battlesuit with a NovaBeam installed. It's so powerful that I stunned the male Kryptonian and completely knocked out the female for 5 minutes. No military weapon, including the Darkseid BattleTank, has withstood it for more than a single second. Just how well will you and your skimpy cheerleader uniform fare, I wonder, when I turn it on you? Luthor smirked at the thought of finding that answer within the next two minutes.
The cheerleader's eyes opened wide and her fearful expression graduated to one of pure terror.
"No, Mr. Luthor, please spare me, please have mercy-"
Ahh, Cheerleader, I do indeed have mercy. Of course, the Mercy that I have is both my bodyguard and my enforcer. Along with her companion Hope, I'm quite well served and protected whenever I'm wearing my business suit, in those instances where this battlesuit might look oh, a tad of out place."
"Of course, tonight I've given them both the night off, to amuse themselves as they see fit. They were initially a bit concerned about me sending them both away, but when I explained I was going to be hunting a silly little bimbo cheerleader with my battlesuit, they both smiled and wished me a pleasant evening. Isn't that really sweet of them, Cheerleader?"
"Please, Mr. Luthor, don't-"
"But I will show you some consideration, Cheerleader, possibly more than you deserve, considering the embarrassment you put me through. You did say that you were just going to visit your boyfriend?"
The Cheerleader's face changed from terror back to simple fear, with a touch of hope added in.
"Yes, sir, Mr. Luthor, just that and nothing more, I promise that that was all I was going to do. After all, I did not want to complicate his imprisonment with any charges of attempted escape."
"Well then, Cheerleader, I see an easy solution."
"Yes, Mr. Luthor?"
"I'll drop you off at your boyfriend's cell, or, at least, whatever's left of you after you say 'hello' to my little NovaBeam. And I'll show him some consideration, too. I'll let him know when I drop you off that you can visit with him without any time limitation until HE says it's time for you go. Then I'll pick you up, and then take you over to visit with dear Mercy and Hope. As they headed out for the evening, they were already discussing, and betting on, how much of you would really remain after we had our little meeting here. I'm not sure, but I think there was a dinner riding on which one of them was right. Don't you just like it when you are the reason why two people get together for a fun evening?"
The cheerleader's face had gone from fear and hope to terror squared halfway through Luthor's first sentence. Horror squared was added to terror squared in the third sentence, as the teenager imagined what her boyfriend would be going through as Lex Luthor carried out his promise and "dropped her off" at his prison cell. There was not as much change in response to his remaining sentences, but perceptive observers would have noticed a slowly, but steadily, increasing level of disgust in the face of the soon-to-be ex-cheerleader.
Lex Luthor was such a perceptive observer, and he enjoyed immensely every bit of what he saw in the teenager's face. In fact, he often enjoyed the suffering of others before he killed them far beyond the mere act of actually killing them. For that reason alone, he really looked forward to doing what he was about to do.
"Ohh, and by the way, Cheerleader, that was not a false rumor I leaked to you about your boyfriend. I really intended to make sure he died two days before he could be released by your and the Justice League's legal maneuvers, doing the job myself to make sure that it was done just right. But thanks to you falling for my little ploy, I realize that he may be more than willing to do the job himself after he enjoys your company for awhile. What do you think about that, Cheerleader?"
"Mr. Luthor, please don't do it! Begged the tearful and sobbing cheerleader, bending her knees and clasping hands together in front of them, entreating the super-criminal to reconsider his decision as she assumed a half-crouching position of supplication. You'll really regret it if you go through with your plans. I implore you to spare me and my boyfriend. Please, Mr. Luthor, Please!"
"Cheerleader, do you know what I have to say to your request?"
"No, Mr. Luthor, what?"Asked the young woman, bowing her head in a final attempt to elicit some compassion from one whom she now suspected had none.
"Please give my very best to Hansel and Gretel!" Luthor said as he activated the NovaBeam at full power.
It was over so quick, there wasn't even time for a scream…not even the beginning of one….
As the smoke and vapor continued to rise a minute after Luthor's farewell sentence to the cheerleader, it was very difficult for an objective observer to truly state what the mound giving off both had been before its transformation. The materials that had not been totally destroyed by the impact of the NovaBeam were greatly changed from what they had been, and it was totally impossible to tell whether the remains belonged to a male or female, or even what that male or female had been wearing. It was almost as if that person had been completely erased from the world that he or she had lived in; almost as if he or she had never been.
The teenager slowly rose from her half-crouching position as she also slowly raised her head, but kept her hands clasped together tightly as she did so.
If anyone had been there to view her face just as it became visible to someone standing directly behind the mound that had been the infamous Lex Luthor in his battlesuit, that observer might well have seconded the many warnings that some of the teenager's classmates had given her boyfriend about his continuing relationship with the sometimes enigmatic cheerleader.
The face that now viewed the almost non-existent mortal remains of the now very late Lex Luthor showed no trace of the terror, fear, horror, or disgust that had been displayed before the NovaBeam firing. Indeed, the only trace of emotion, barely visible on the otherwise now nearly expressionless face, appeared to be that of satisfaction. If her boyfriend had seen her at that exact moment, he might indeed have questioned his impassioned "she's just an average girl, who's as human as you or me!" defense of his classmate. For that exact instant, her face did indeed present an inhuman, almost demonic, aspect far out of place with the wide range of fully human expressions that she normally wore in her everyday interactions with her classmates.
However, that boyfriend-chilling image was itself compromised in the very next instant as two solitary tears ran down her cheeks, and the brief expression of "demonic" satisfaction was replaced by a much longer lasting expression of sadness that demonstrated that she was indeed "all-too-human". In fact, her boyfriend would recognize this new visage as very close to what she had displayed to him when he had informed her of the death of his dearly-loved great aunt. "Oh, Beloved, I'm so sorry for your and family's loss. May the Creator comfort you and them in this sad time, and may your faith and memories sustain you in the time ahead." She had said with tears streaming down her face, and her boyfriend had indeed been comforted by her own expression of grief at his loss. He had fully believed her then, with no doubt in his mind that she fully regretted the ending of any person's life. This was the girlfriend he truly loved, whom he knew would never threaten him with anything worse than a stream of passionate kisses and deeply affectionate hugging.
"Oh, Mr. Luthor, why didn't you heed my warning? Why didn't you believe me when I said that you would regret it if you did what you planned to do? Were you so excited about ending my life and the life of my beloved boyfriend that you failed to consider the possibility that my heart rate was racing not because I feared for my life, but that I was afraid that you would carry through on your attempt to kill me, and suffer the consequences of your actions? As terrible as you were, I was still hoping to the last that you might reconsider and be merciful to me, and by doing so, spare yourself as well."
The young woman paused for a moment, and continued, sadness in her voice clearly displayed, and with additional tears now flowing down her cheeks.
"You said you knew my secrets, and my weaknesses, and I realize that you did indeed know all about me, including the secret that I have not yet shared with my boyfriend. But did you not also realize that I would do almost anything to save him from you, short of recanting my belief in the Creator? And did you not also realize that I could have cast a spell upon myself before I came here, so that I wouldn't need to tug on my ear or begin a long winded spell when you confronted me and threatened me?"
Still crying, the saddened girl displayed a half-smile to the still smoldering mound. "And didn't Mercy or Hope warn or caution you to never underestimate the power of a woman when she's determined to win? Certainly they were both examples of that to you as they served you and dealt with others as you directed them to?"
"Well, Mr. Luthor, I guess I'd better be going now, before someone realizes that you've begun missing your appointments with business people or other fellow criminals, and begin sending out the various search parties for you. And, who knows, your Mercy and Hope may have a bet on who finds you first, with the winner getting a dinner from the other. Don't you just like it when you are the reason why two people get together for a fun evening?"
"But, Mr. Luthor, before I go, I guess I should thank you for proving to me that I should do well on my magic finals later this year. The 'Reversus' spell is supposed to be one of the more difficult spells to cast. When done properly, this defense spell returns fourfold any violence presented to the defender. But the spell itself lasts for only an hour after it's been cast, it cannot be recast for a day, and the defendee must clasp his or her hands to demonstrate their total non violent attitude during a confrontation for the reflection to actually take place. The fact I'm still standing here instead of you indicates that I did everything just right."
The half-smile vanished as the teenager turned to leave and quietly retrace her path. She took two steps, then halted and briefly turned back to the mound.
"However, Mr. Luthor, I am sorry that things did not turn out better for all of us. Rest in peace, Mr. Luthor, rest in peace. May the Creator be merciful to you, far more than you ever were to others."
Shaking her head sadly, the now very somber and reflective teenager resumed her quiet walk away from battle area and Lex Luthor's next-to-final resting place, and was soon out of sight, with quiet returning to the darkened passageway…
…Meanwhile, in another reality not all that far away, an observer of the now concluded battle made an observation of her own, shaking her head back and forth as well.
"Wow, remind me never to visit any universe where there is a Sabrina Circe Spellman, or if I do go there, make sure that I never get on her bad side." Kim said in an almost near whisper. Of course, considering that both she and Sabrina considered the now late Lex Luthor of Sabrina's universe an adversary, she doubted she would ever come into conflict with the teenage witch. But in any case, she had better make sure that she never even posed a remote threat to Sabrina's boyfriend's safety. It was nice, however, to see another teenage cheerleader value a boyfriend like she did.
Kimberly Anne Possible (aka Kim Multiversal) turned away from the Multiversal Viewer as Wade entered the computer room.
"Whatcha doing, Kim?" asked the young computer genius.
"Nothing big, Wade; I'm just checking out some potential worlds to visit whenever you finish work on the Multiversal Kimmunicator and give me a go-ahead for my six-sitch one time only mission." Kim replied in a laid-back manner, eager to reassure her computer genius friend that she fully appreciated the "no timetable/schedule deadline" arrangement that had been agreed to by her at the start of the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer to Multiversal Kimmunicator development effort following her dramatic rescue of her own boyfriend from an alternate reality that had considered her "just a cartoon".
In Kim's own reality, Sabrina Circe Spellman was also "just a cartoon", and Kim had chuckled at some of the antics that the teenage witch, her boyfriend, and her classmates had gotten into. Just a cartoon series for kids, which explained why none of this would've shown up in said series. The little episode she had just observed would have needed to be rated either "T" or "M", instead of just "K" or "K plus". It might also have called into some question (by at least some of her show's viewers) whether she had violated the "I will do no severe harm" guideline that seemed to govern the comedy/drama series. There would always be an argument about whether she had violated it in spirit, if not in letter, since the actual harm had been done by Luthor himself and the NovaBeam acting through the "Reversus" spell and its four-fold boomerang agency...
"So, Kim, is this one a possibility for your visit to another world, another reality?"
"I'm afraid not Wade; it seems like this AU's Mr. Luthor has just managed to get himself killed, so the Man of Steel and his female cousin will not be needing my help any time soon."
"Really? How did he manage to get himself killed? Who did the honors?" the young boy asked, not really taking the death as serious as if that had occurred in his own world. He and his teenage teammate were still slowly adapting to the "everything is real somewhere in the Multiverse" philosophy that Kim had initially proposed during early discussions on the planned mission and MK development. Wade still tended to think of Superman, Sabrina Spellman, Sherlock Holmes, Wolverine, and Captain Kirk as imaginary characters since his world presented no evidence to the contrary. Kim on the other hand, was further down the road of acceptance of what appeared to be a good working theory, and she had even managed to come to an acceptance of the "KIGO" concept, though she tried not to dwell on it or its implications. She was trying to do her best to keep her head in the game and focused on the mission ahead. Excessive speculation at this point could prove either distracting or even counter-productive.
Kim considered her answer carefully. She neither wanted to cause her friend a TMI episode or incident, nor did she wish to lie to him about anything. The Halloween incident alone reminded her sufficiently to avoid that option.
"Well, Wade, you know that old saying about someone being their own worst enemy?"
"Sure Kim I know it. In fact, I sometimes think that's applicable to Dr. Drakken!"
"Well then let's just say that in this case it was applicable to Mr. Luthor, fatally so."
"Well, I guess that's too bad Kim; I guess you'll have to keep on looking then, Huh?"
"It looks that way. Wade." responded the redheaded teenager, who continued dialing through the viewer settings, looking for a save-sitch option.
Now, this new AU looked like a possibility: Mr. Luthor, in his business suit, having just trapped Superman and Supergirl with a large kryptonite rock. A large force shield was apparently blocking the other superheroes rescue attempts, and it looked like this Luthor was very ready to enjoy a victory over the slowly dying Kryptonians. Yes, this looked like a keeper. The teen heroine marked that reality for later reference, and stopped viewing the dramatic scene. She and Wade had already agreed that she would not attempt to change a future that she had already seen, even though it was not her universe, and their normal concerns about a "possible" time paradox should not affect her.
Kim decided to take a brief break before looking for any more possible save-sitch opportunities, and got up from her chair.
"Just stretching my legs for little bit, Wade." she said in a cheerful manner. "I'll be back in about five minutes."
"Right, Kim, see you then!" As the young man went back to his work…
As Kim "Multiversal" Possible re-entered Wade's computer room six and a half minutes later, she had already formulated a twist on the "own worst enemy" observation she'd made a little while before. While Mr. Luthor could indeed be his own worst enemy in certain circumstances, was it not possible that in others, he could be his own best hope? No one, but no one, had ever succeeded in talking the infamous Lex Luthor out of continuing his criminal ways. But what if she could somehow get him to accept a challenge about changing himself? To do something that no one else thought he could do? Even as the other reality's Luthor had managed to get himself killed because of his own arrogance, was it not possible to use the same arrogance to somehow defeat the criminal part of Luthor without the lethal side effect? To somehow manage to convince the second AU Luthor take himself on and reform himself just to show that he could do anything he put his mind to? To show up the superheroes of his own reality who'd been unable to have him reform and 'go straight', and beat them at their own game?
Kim, of course, was not certain that this tactic would indeed work, but thought it was certainly worth the effort to try it out. And it was certainly a whole lot less violent than the course that other cheerleader had had to follow in her attempts to remove Lex Luthor as a threat. Kim even briefly mused as to whether her observation of the other Luthor's death might indirectly contribute to the saving of the second Luthor from a similar fate.
The teenager shook her head back and forth, and reminded herself that she had to get her head back into the game, and continue with selection of four additional alternate realities for her six mission sitch (the sixth and final one was, of course, the world in which she had almost lost Ron to, the one that had considered her "just a cartoon"). She had to be more than ready to travel to six other worlds and assist others there to her best ability whenever Wade finally gave her the go-ahead to do so. With a slight smirk on her face, the redhead began viewing potential alternate realities for a second sitch world, remembering that it would soon be time for her to leave Wade's computer room and pick up Ron at Felix's house before they both went to Bueno Nacho for a "dinner for two" (three, if you counted Rufus!).
Kim was certain of one thing: no matter what, she would do her utmost to solve both the rescue of the kryptonite captives and the reformation of Lex Luther of that reality. And if one possible way did not work, then another one would be used, as she always strived to do the best that she could do in every sitch. And, after all, there was always more than one way to skin a cat….
***The End***
(A/N: If you haven't already done so, please check out whitem's story about the Ron rescue story that helped me kick off my own MwK story [the first chapter of which gives full credit and thanks to that author]. In fact, please be sure to check out the author's other works as well while you're there; I'm sure you'll find them quite enjoyable as well. And thanks again for R&R and PMing as you see fit.)
General Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own imagination, and if I ever do create a character, etc., I will clearly note it and claim it as mine. Therefore, if I don't note it as mine, it's not mine. This work is intended for amusement only and there were no monetary or other financial considerations involved.
Sabrina, the Teenage Witch created by writer George Gladir and artist Dan DeCarlo.
Kim Possible and her friends and enemies © Disney (created by Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle)
Superman and his friends and enemies © DC Comics
Sherlock Holmes created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Wolverine © Marvel Comics
Captain Kirk and Star Trek created by Gene Roddenberry.