Two strangers connect

by Secret Shadowhunter

Basically this is a conversation between me and a random stranger one night on Omegle. We know nothing about each other and the only thing we have in common is our love for Harry Potter so of course; role-play ensues.

So one late night I was bored and decided to go on Omegle when I came across this stranger. This wasn't at all planned and I still to this day have no idea who the 'stranger' was, just a fellow Potterhead like myself.

I've made a few minor edits (mostly getting rid of any expletive!)but as you will be able to tell I've left a lot of grammatical errors in, as I want it to read as it was written.

As you will also be able to tell I didn't quite catch on what was happening until a few lines in and again I would have changed this but I didn't want to ruin the authenticity.

I have had this stored on my computer for about 6 months and every time I read it I feel like I want to share it and this was the only way I could think of getting it out to people who might actually appreciate it for what it was, which was two complete strangers connecting in a way that only Potterheads can.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Potter?

Stranger: Is that you?

You: YES

You: RONALD/

You: ?

Stranger: No,it's Lily.

You: Oh, sorry. My mistake..

Stranger: Potter are you drunk,who is ronald?

You: weaselbee

Stranger: You are drunk.

Stranger: What did you do this time?

You: I'm afraid so. I've managed to knock over Snape's cauldron and he's not a happy fellow right now.

Stranger: So you admit to being drunk?What kind of Head Boy are you anyway?

You: A very, very bad one.

Stranger: Do you think you are setting an example?

Stranger: When are you going to be responsible?

You: NEVER

You: I will never be responsible, you have to face that.

You: I like being drunk, and naughty, and most of the other girls like my attitude..

Stranger: Not even if I agree to go to the next Hogsmeade weekend with you..?

You: Well, I'd have to think about thaty.

You: that*

You: you really mean it?

Stranger: You want to risk it?

You: Yes, I think I do

Stranger: Then it doesn't matter if I mean it or not

Stranger: be a better person and you will see

You: Hold up, I can't tell if you're serious. Everyone knows you hate me because I was mean to Snivellus..

Stranger: Who called me a should know he is not my favorite person right now

You: Yes he did create quite a sticky situation for himself... So does that clear the way for me then? ;)

Stranger: You will have to risk it and I never for the life of me would have thought that I would give you a chance and you would be questioning it

Stranger: but then again

Stranger: Gryffindor courage can't last for ever

Stranger: I guess

You: Okay, okay. I'll become a better man, I'll stop teasing first graders and that pathetic Snivellus, and then you'll come Hogsmeade with me, right?

Stranger: I will probably come to Hogsmeade with you

You: Well probably is better than the never I usually get... Do you actually mean it?

Stranger: Yes you idiot,I do

Stranger: BUT YOU ALSO NEED TO DEFLATE YOUR HEAD

You: I know, but it's hard to be the most loved boy in the school, to have a reputation like mine and to not have a big head. I put on a good show don't I?

Stranger: You have yet to convince me about your prick-ness being an act

You: Well why are you so keen on coming Hogsmeade with me? Not that I'm complaining, of course.

Stranger: Why do you want to know?

You: I just do

Stranger: What if I don't want to tell you?

You: I swear I won't tell anyone, not even Sirius!

You: Wait...

You: This isn't just a trick that you've set up with Sirius is it?

Stranger: Oh,now you mentioned or Pettigrew or Remus are NOT allowed to help you be a nice person in ANY sort of ?

Stranger: I'm not as cruel as you boys.

You: Hey they're not so bad you know, you might even like them if you got to know them.

Stranger: I like Remus and that's about it

You: I admit Pettigrew can be a bit.. pestering, but he's loyal. But Sirius really is not so bad once you get to know him

Stranger: He doesn't look loyal to me and Black is much too arrogant to more than you.

Stranger: Anyway,you have to do it yourself

You: Yes but look how nice I turned out, under all the arrogance there is a heart of gold ;)

Stranger: I'm trying too hard not to be sarcastic when you display your feelings for your best friend...

You: Right, well yeah.. I guess I had that coming.

Stranger: You have a reeeeally nice bromance going on though.

Stranger: Such a cute couple

You: ...

You: You know, it's been a whole 15 minutes since I teased any first years.. I think you're having a good influence on me.

Stranger: No,I'm just having a good hold on you as of now.

Stranger: You made a deal

You: Yes, you have an iron grip on my heart Lily.

Stranger: Were you that cheesy with all your other girlfriends Potter?

You: We didn't really talk very much, if I'm completely honest.. We were far too preoccupied.

Stranger: Yes but your one true girlfriend,Black?He must hear thet sort of things all the time...

You: Jealous?

Stranger: Much,can't you see?

You: You certainly should be, you know, you act like I'm the one lucky to be talking to you, but there is a long line of girls waiting to take your place.

Stranger: See?That kond of arrogance is what holds me back

Stranger: one moment you are the ungrateful git I loathe

Stranger: and the other one you are a nice and sweet guy

Stranger: how the Hell do I know I'm not just a trophy to you?

You: If you would've let me continue, I was about to say that I don't have an eye for a single one of them. Looks can only take you so far, and you.. interest me, Lily. In a way no other girl has before..

Stranger: How do I know it's true?

Stranger: You only use your playboy reputation to convince me

Stranger: EVERY SINGLE TIME

You: Yes well, it's all I have.

Stranger: No you have brains you idiot

Stranger: use them

You: Yes but when I'm talking to you I find myself saying all the wrong things, most girls I can twist round my pinkie without a moments thought. Your very presence is unsettling.

Stranger: say all the right things to get a both know you're better than that

You: I know I am, I'm trying to be better, it's hard for me.

Stranger: Unless you just want someone to sleep with you. Then I'm not the one for the job

You: Well I guess I'll be seeing you then..

You: Kidding! Sorry.. that wasn't funny.

Stranger: Well it's nice to know you found out for yourself...

You: I'm definitely improving

Stranger: Oh,I know something I shouldn't know.

Stranger: I meant to tell you

Stranger: Ummm,promise you won't be mad?

You: Ok..

Stranger: I know how you always knew where to find me and stalk me...

You: What? I didn't do that...

Stranger: You did,admit it.

You: Who told you that? It's not true, of course.

Stranger: I found out how you did it.I've seen you a couple of times behind tapestries too.

Stranger: To be honest,I was quite impressed.

You: Oh well of course you were, I'm extremely impressive.

Stranger: OH COME ON

You: ...

Stranger: I'm talking about the map James,you haven't done this all by yourself,have you?

You: You called me James...

Stranger: Ummm,yeah,I guess I did...

Stranger: Don't get any ideas 's just first name basis

You: Still, one step at a time

You: You wouldn't tell anyone about the map would you?

You: I'm sorry for stalking you, you just intrigue me.

Stranger: Nope,I wouldn't.I would never want to get you into much trouble

Stranger: despite the popular belief

Stranger: :)

You: Well, that's nice to hear.

You: I really am sorry, about the stalking thing, Sirius tried to tell me it was creepy..

Stranger: Haha poor was though.

You: How're we on the Hogsmeade trip then? It's still a go ahead, as long as I don't screw it up in the meantime?

Stranger: Well,let's say you're doing more than fine right now...

You: Great

Stranger: :)

You: I was wondering, do you want me to.. sort out Snivellus, for calling you that disgusting name?

Stranger: NO NO FOR GOD'S SAKE NO

Stranger: Pull it together James,you're losing it...

You: But he deserves it, it's the most foul thing he could've called you.

You: He deserves to be punished.

You: Then again I suppose his 'one true love' hating him for the rest of his life is punishment enough

Stranger: I can ppunish him just as 't do anything!

Stranger: His one true what?

You: Forget it.

Stranger: No,you said it

Stranger: his one true what"

Stranger: ?

You: I know, but now I'm unsaying it...

You: I don't think you want to know, honestly I think it's better left unsaid.

Stranger: Please tell me

You: Well.. Snive- Snape, is kind of in love with you.

You: Don't take it too hard though.

Stranger: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Stranger: This can't be

You: Oh, it definitely is.

Stranger: no seriously,you got it all wrong

You: I've heard him refer to you as his girlfriend a few times...

Stranger: he must've meant girl-friend.

Stranger: As in I'm a girl and I'm his friend

Stranger: And I was his only friend

You: No, he definitely didn't.

Stranger: you must be mistaken

You: Everybody knows that he likes you, it's so obvious.

Stranger: I was his friend,he would like me

You: No, as in LIKE likes you, as in the way I like you.

Stranger: Nope, I'm sorry. That is not valid information.

You: Oh, you can ask anybody.

You: It's so obvious I can't believe you had no idea

You: it's really pathetic to be honest

Stranger: Um,can we please change the subject?I'm a bit uncomfortable right now.

You: Well, yeah fine. But you should know, I'd never call you that name, so I obviously like you much more than Snivellus

Stranger: It's not a competition,you should know that

You: If it was though, I'd win, right?

Stranger: Your head Potter.

Stranger: Deflate it.

You: I'm merely asking a question, if you had to choose between me and Snape, you'd pick me, right?

Stranger: I'd pick Black

You: You.. what?!

You: Tell me you're kidding, Sirius knows how I feel about you.. he would never do that to me.

Stranger: I am indeed kidding.

You: Thank gargoyle for that, god you scared me there, for a second I thought you and him were..

Stranger: Hahaha no can do,Black is more than you

You: What do you mean even more than me? That indicates that I am also insufferable. I thought you liked me now?

Stranger: You have some insufferable when I say deflate your head,I mean 't make me give you another heart attack,it's not something I enjoy

You: So nice to know you care.

Stranger: Yeah,I guess...

You: You do realize that you are quite the hypocrite?

Stranger: Hmmm,nice to know,but why?

You: You say I play with girls feelings and use them, and yet you are doing quite a good job of playing with my feelings.

Stranger: Oh, to explain how I do that?

You: You're trying to change me. You say you like me and if you did you would accept that I'm going to be an arrogant swine for my whole life.

You: I think you know exactly what you're doing, you're smart Evans, I'll give you that.

Stranger: I don't mind you being you need to unerstand that being arrogant is one thing and being a dick is another.

Stranger: and most of the times,you're just being a prat

You: I've never been a prat to you though

Stranger: Oh,yeah, 're not being a prat whenever you embarass me in front of everyone

Stranger: you were not a prat when you were bullying Severus trying to make me to go out with you

Stranger: remember?

Stranger: "Go out with me Evans and I won't lay hands on Snivellus again"

You: Okay yeah I forgot about that..

Stranger: Ok yeah so you were saynig?

You: But I couldn't take no for an answer

Stranger: And how is torturing people going to make me like you enough to give you a positive answer?

You: That's it, I can't do this any more. I'm bored and there are first graders just calling to have their heads flushed down the toilets. Tell me, are you, or are you not going to go out with me?

You: I'm not going to allow you to try to 'change' me, and then me to not get anything out of it at the end

Stranger: I'm not trying to change you

Stranger: and you know what?

Stranger: I should've known you can't do that

You: That's exactly what you're trying to do Lily!

Stranger: I LIKE THE SWEET JAMES POTTER TALKING TO ME RIGHT NOW.I LIKED HIM

You: This is me, I'm a prat sometimes and I'm bad tempered, but not even you can make me change that.

You: You can't click and expect me to change into this perfect person, he doesn't exist! He'll never exist, just face it Lily

Stranger: BUT YOUR INABILITY TO STOP TORTURING PEOPLE AND ME HUMAN SHOULD'VE SHOWN ME THAT I'M NO MORE THAN A TROPHY

Stranger: THE ONLY ONE YOU CAN'T HAVE,THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT

Stranger: NOT ME

Stranger: JUST A POSITIVE ANSWER

You: You really think that low of me?!

Stranger: He does exist.I'm asking you to prove it.

You: I can't prove it!

You: He doesn't exist, and he never will. All the magic in the world couldn't change me.

Stranger: So there is something the almighty James Potter can NOT do.

You: I like being a swine, if you can't handle it, then you can run along back to Snivellus, and when he calls you a mudblood again, don't come crying to me. I may be arrogant, but I would never deliberately hurt you.

Stranger: So,Severus liked being a tool to do you think I should be avenged then?

You: He deliberately hurt you.

You: He said the worst thing he could think of.

Stranger: No,he tried to hide the shame YOU caused.I'm not making excuses for him,I still loathe using your logic he didn't do anything bad

You: You're a right piece of work

You: But you're right.

You: You're probably better off without me anyway

You: You deserve better

Stranger: After everything I told you,this is all you got?

Stranger: I guess you didn't want tis enough anyway/

You: what do you want me to say? You know how much I like you, you know that I'd do practically anything for you.

You: I'm sorry for being such a disappointment

Stranger: And you think a simple "Im sorry" can make things better?

Stranger: The only thing I asked you to do was to try and be a better person

Stranger: TRY

You: I'm still waiting for you to say sorry to be honest?

Stranger: this is what?It doasn't fall under the practically anything category?

Stranger: Sorry about what?

Stranger: You never,not even ONCE said you were sorry

You: I just did, didn't I?! Jesus..

You: "I'm sorry for being such a disappointment" for a smart girl you're quite dim

Stranger: "Sorry for being such a disappointment"? THAT'S your idea of apologizing?

You: Er, yes.

Stranger: Ok,let me ask you something and for God's sake do NOT interrupt me

You: what do you want me to do? Kiss your feet?

Stranger: Ew no

You: Fine, go ahead. And for your information I was being sarcastic.

Stranger: When did you apologise for embarassing me in front of everyone?

Stranger: For hearing every bimbo in here calling me a bitch because I hurt you?

You: How did I embarrass you?

Stranger: I'M NOT DONE

Stranger: For making me feel like the worst person in the world just because I rejected you?

You: Are you done yet or should I get the violins out?

Stranger: For explaining my case to Remus over and over again in hope that you understand and you just never did any fucking thing?

Stranger: Fuck you Potter

Stranger: I'm done

Stranger: Please do get the violins though,they should've played for you first

You: You think YOU were embarrassed? I was the one you rejected, in case you don't remember. I was the one who you made look like a fool in front of everyone

Stranger: No,I was looking like a fool every time you started hexing people just to get my attention

Stranger: Like a fool and a bitch for not sayng yes and sparing them

You: It was supposed to be romantic, but whatever...

You: Well maybe you should said yes then, shouldn't you?

You: I really don't know what you want from me.

Stranger: The nerve of you...

You: All I hear from you is about how horrible I am to you, and how arrogant and how much of a dick I am, so why are we still having this conversation? Why are you even talking to me? If you really hate me that much then you should just leave.

You: But you won't, because deep down, you like me.

Stranger: That's what you don't understand.I know what you are.I want you to be that person who helped Remus through his problem(yes,I know,don't hide anything),not that bastard you show people you are

Stranger: I know what exists and what doesn't

Stranger: You can't fool me

Stranger: That's what I'm trying to tell you

You: Sirius and Peter both also helped Remus, and yet you aren't having this conversation with them are you?

You: I don't know why you can't just admit it, you like me. It must be my good looks, or my charm. I do have a way with the ladies.

Stranger: O for god's sake here we go again.

Stranger: NO POTTER

Stranger: IT'S NOT YOUR LOOKS

Stranger: OR YOUR CHARM

You: So you've noticed? Well I have been working out.

Stranger: Well you make sure everyone notices

You: I know, if you were a bimbo, I would not be talking to you. I don't get close with them type of girls, well... I suppose physically I do get close, if you know what I mean... But I don't ever talk to them, like equals. This is a new experience for me, and I have to say it's been quite an enthralling one at that.

Stranger: A moment ago you were fustrated,what happened?I'm confused

You: I realized you must like me or we wouldn't still be talking

You: Please Lily, admit it.

You: It will make us both feel better.

You: Especially me

Stranger: Listen now,I agreed to go out with you(almost),one step at a time?

Stranger: Please?

You: what are you asking me?

Stranger: I can't admit anything right now

Stranger: I'm asking for a rain check

You: You're expecting me to change for you, to be a better man, and you can't do anything yourself. It's all one sided. I'm not the only one with flaws, you judge people before you get to know them properly, you label them and stick them in a box. If you can admit to me that you can see past your preconceptions about me, and admit you like me, then we can move forward.

You: Well?

You: Do you have anything to say to me?

Stranger: Ok,for the last time,I CAN see past the act you are putting on all the time.I'm asking you to be the man I am supposed to like for more than 2 hours a day.

Stranger: Cna you do this please?

Stranger: can*

You: Of course, as long as you first admit that you like me.

You: What's stopping you?!

Stranger: You

You: How?

Stranger: I don't 're going bat crazy and it's just Lily.I don't understand that,especially when a thousand others are throwing themselves at you

Stranger: I can't help but feel I'm your personal bet I suppose

You: Lily the fact you're the first girl who hasn't thrown yourself at me is one of the reasons I like you so much

You: You're not a personal bet, I would never do that

You: Do you believe me?

Stranger: I.. well yes.. I suppose

You: Good. I'm glad..

You: I am sorry for embarrassing you Lily, I didn't know how to deal with the situation. I had all these feelings and I knew you didn't feel anything and it was just horrible.

Stranger: I'm glad you know that thing about the violin was pretty harsh,just so you know.

You: When I'm being attacked, I lash out, it's like my instincts.

Stranger: I I wasn't attacking you,just stating a fact

You: You've already changed me, you know.

Stranger: Good to know.

You: I honestly can't remember the last time, before today, I apologized for anything. And I have done some things in my lifetime which I am not proud of, and I should've apologized for.

Stranger: Well,why don't you?

You: It's too late, too many missed opportunities.

Stranger: It's never too late if you say so.

You: You wouldn't understand, you've probably never made mistakes like I have, some mistakes can't be undone, no amount of sorry's can make up for some damage.

Stranger: I have made mistakes you can't I can't fix them either.

You: You have?

Stranger: Well,I guess we're sailing on the same boat

Stranger: Yes

You: Tell me, please.

Stranger: Well...

Stranger: My sister and I won't talk to each other

You: Why?

You: Wait, your sister is a muggle isn't she?

Stranger: Yes,well she was calling me a freak

Stranger: and I just had to bite back

You: It's okay Muggles don't matter that much don't worry about it

Stranger: Ummm,James you don't understand.

Stranger: She is my sister

You: Yes, but she's also a Muggle, she's different than us, she'll probably have forgotten it already.

Stranger: She hasn't, it's been years since that happened

You: If she hasn't tried to made things better with you, then she's the one missing out.

Stranger: Or maybe I am.I don't no matter what I do,I can't seem to be able to make it up to her

You: There's only so many times you can apologize Lily, she's not worth your worries.

Stranger: She is,she's my sister

You: You can't do anything else though

You: You are ever the martyr but it's unnecessary, you're holding the guilt for something she should have forgiven years ago

You: Let it go.

Stranger: What is it that you did?I told you mine...

You: Oh god, I feel like I've got a trail of heart break and lies that follow me everywhere I go.

You: You're better off asking what I haven't done if I'm honest.

You: But I am a new man, remember? We can forget all the bad stuff, yes?

Stranger: Ha! You big bad gangster!

You: Yes, yes, I am a hooligan, it can't be helped.

Stranger: Naaaah, you're just a little misbehaved.

You: Exactly.

You: It's weird, I haven't given a sarcastic comment in a long time. I hope I'm not losing my touch..

Stranger: Ummm,what can I say to make you sarcastic again?

You: Oh, so you don't like this boring person I've become? You need to learn to make up your mind Evans.

Stranger: I was going to do it for your I see we're on surename basis again...

You: I guess it's just a side effect of my change, I've become distant and dreary. God, the old me would hate the new me so much. Of course, as soon as I stop talking to you I will go back to my old ways, but hey, it was nice while it lasted, yes?

Stranger: Do you have some type of disorder Potter or do you want me to not like you again?

You: Hey, I didn't do anything?

You: I'm being pleasant and polite.

You: However, the clock is ticking, any second now I could turn back into a pumpkin...

Stranger: You are not my distant cousin,you don't need to be pleasant and if you want to be a pumpkin,suit yourself.

You: I honestly don't know what you want from me.

Stranger: Ok,let me ask you a you pleasant and polite with the Marauders?Honest.

You: Of course not, actually, if they ever heard me like this I'd be hanging from the ceiling by by ankles. This is just for you, Evans ;)

Stranger: Ok,this is my distant relative talking it freaks me 't you just talk to me like I'm Lily?

Stranger: NOT Evans,and definitely NOT a Lily.

You: I don't know how to act around Lily though

You: Can't we just go back to our love/hate thing? It was so much more fun..

Stranger: You loving me and me hating you you mean?No.

Stranger: I want this to get somewhere

You: You're getting a little ahead of yourself, I like you, I don't love you. Love is for fools, Snivellus being exhibit A.

Stranger: love is not for fools

Stranger: you love your friends for example

You: You think you have me all figured out don't you?

Stranger: Yes. I do. Don't act like you don't like it.

You: I wasn't going to. So when you say you wanted this to get somewhere, I do hope you mean my bed? Because we've definitely been putting off the inevitable for much too long, let's quit the foreplay and get down to business Evans.

Stranger: Ok, git mode on again.

Stranger: NOT someone you will "get down to business" with.

You: Definitely?

Stranger: Let me put it this way

Stranger: I know you've slept with a lot of girls

Stranger: I know only Black can claim having slept with more than you

Stranger: but I'm NOT one of them

Stranger: You will NOT just sleep with me

You: I haven't you know, slept with loads of girls. I only tell people that because it makes me look good. If you ever repeat that to anyone, you'll wish you'd never been born Evans ;)

Stranger: Ok, a little, a lot, that's not the point. Did I get through to you?

You: Yeah, I get it, you're frigid.

You: Kidding again

You: Lily?

Stranger: Yes?

You: Ah that's good, I thought you were freezing me out because I called you frigid.

Stranger: Nope, I was thinking...What do you mean I'll wish I've never been born?

Stranger: How are you gonna accomplish that?

You: It's just a figure of speech, why? Are you thinking of tempting me? I'd just deny it, you know.

Stranger: You wouldn' know like you know I'm a better duelist than you.

You: Hahahaha, don't make me laugh.

You: We all know your skills lie in Charms.

You: I could beat you in a duel with my eyes closed.

Stranger: Nope.

You: You'd have an advantage though..

Stranger: Huh?

You: You wouldn't care whether you hurt me or not, but I couldn't hurt you, I just.. no.

Stranger: You'd I guess I didn't get through to you after all

You: What do you mean?

Stranger: I would care if you got hurt.

You: Why?

You: You scared of blood or something?

Stranger: Because I care about you ok? There, I said it.

You: I know you do, of course. I just wanted you to say it. Thank you.

Stranger: Thank you for blackmailing me into this. Git.

You: I didn't blackmail you into anything

You: Don't pretend you said it because you had to

Stranger: I said it because it was the truth and you needed an answer'

You: Good, that's what I needed to hear.

Stranger: Nice, now I'm a beetroot, happy?

You: Ecstatic.

Stranger: You are impossible

You: That's why you like me so much

Stranger: I never said that

You: You didn't have to

You: It's the same reason I like you so much

Stranger: What do you mean?

You: We're both impossible.

Stranger: So we're stuck with each other?

You: I guess so, aren't you lucky?

Stranger: Aren't YOU?

You: Yep!

Stranger: Ok, I guess.. Well, are you sober now?

You: I hope so, or I won't remember all of this, and that would be a shame.

Stranger: I guess you should keep the conversation do NOT show it around.

You: Oh trust me, there are some thing in this I wouldn't want anyone to know. Let's just agree to keep it to ourselves, yes?

Stranger: Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!

You: Good, it's settled then.

You: Now I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed, our worse.. expelled.

Stranger: That sounds... familiar ,goodnight James.

You: I know it does seem vaguely familiar.. Goodnight Lily, it's been a pleasure.

Stranger: Indeed it has been

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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