Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Call me. Talk to me. Don't sue me.
Yuzuki's Notes: I'm going to prank call some people...and that stuff...I was so hyper, I wrote this. I know, I sound so out of character...
Dialing My Favorite Bleach Characters
Part 1: Torturing The Poor Quincy
Ring...Ring
Uryu: Hello?
Me: Hello. Who is this please?
Uryu: Uryu Ishida.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry, he's not here right now.
Uryu: What? Who's not there?
Me: Uryu Ishida is not here.
Uryu: Wait a minute, I'm Uryu Ishida. You called-
Me: (interrupting) I'm sorry sir. Uryu Ishida just stepped out right now. May I have him call you back?
Uryu: YOU FOOL! I AM URYU ISHIDA! I didn't call him; I am him! You made this call!! I am Uryu Ishida!
Me: Please calm down, I'll have Uryu Ishida call you when he gets back, Actually, he just went across the street to get laid. We're having some serious problems with him.
Beep...
Me: Have a nice day!
2:30 am
Ring Ring...
Uryu: ...Hello...?
Me: Um...hello...is Skylar Markus there?
Uryu: Skylar who...?
Me: Skylar Markus...is he there?
Uryu: -growls- No. Wrong number.
Beep...Beep...
Six Calls Later...
Me: -in man's voice- Hello, is Uryu Ishida there?
Uryu: WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?!
Me: Hey, this is Skylar Markus...any calls for me?
Silence...
Me: -crosses arms in X shape- BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Beep...Beep
Part 2: Byaku-sama and Super Toilet
Ring...Ring...
Byakuya: Hello...Captain Kukichi speaking.
Me: Hello Byaku-sama!
Byakuya: Uh...you again....what is it you want?
Me: I want a 1997 dodge challenger, with a huge skull on the hood, and a Dr. Pepper, and-
Byakuya: Will you go away?
Me: -sniffs- Wha...? WAH! BYAKU-SAMA IS A MEANIE WHAAA!!
Byakuya: -growls- I'm not a meanie!
Me: -shouts- Yes you are! You almost killed your own sister, and hurted Ichi-sama! And Kenpachi had to use the bathroom, and you forgot to flush! You big meanie who leave leftovers in the toilet!!
Beep...Beep...
Byakuya: I hate her.
Beep...Beep...
Part 3: Own Him
Ring...Ring...
Zangestu: Hello?
Me: Zangestu-sama! Hi!
Zangestu: Alright! Who gave the crazy woman my number?!
Me: Ichi-sama did. He said to call you up!
-rummaging-
Hichigo: Hello?
Me: Ew! It's the creepy white guy that looks so uglier than Ichi-sama!
Hichigo: Well. It seems I have a partner in crime. Yuzuki, no?
Me: Yup! I'm hyper today, so I call everyone in my phone book!
Hichigo: -hmm- Would you like to help me conquer Ichigo? You can have his mind or something...frilly that girls like...
Me: … I prefer torturing him. Besides. He owns you now!
Hichigo: …
Me: Oh! I get it! He owns...you!
Hichigo: You make me sick.
Beep...Beep
Me: La. La. La. La. La. La. La. La. La. La. La. -playing the sweet innocent little girl act-
Beep....Beep...
Part 4: Green Is The New Silver
3am...
Ring...Ring...
Toshiro: Captain Histugaya speaking.
Me: Hey ya, Silver-sama!
Toshiro: You again...what is it this time?
Me: Oh nothing...I just wanted to call and say hi...
Toshiro: ...and?
Me: -giggles-
Toshiro: What?!
Me: Get outta bed and look in the mirror!
Toshiro: I don't know what you did but- WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR?!
Me: Green is an awesome color on you!
Toshiro: Your dead, Cross.
Me: -makes noise with tongue- Nah nah ah boo boo you smell like green doo doo!
Beep...Beep...
Part 5: My Messages
The Next Day!
Yuzuki had messages on her answering machine...
Beep...Message 1...From Uryu Ishida
Uryu: SO IT WAS YOU!! YOU LITTLE...
Yuzuki erased this before it got to graphic in detail.
Beep...Message 2...From Skylar (My nii-sensei)
Skylar: Hey ya, Yuzu-nee. I heard you were calling the Bleach Peoples. Good. Keep it up, my little apprentice. -crosses arms in X shape- BUWHAHAHAHAHA!
Beep...Message 3...From Ichigo
Ichigo: HEY! YOU SWITCHED MY RINGTONE! SO NOW EVERYTIME YOU CALL ME...IT PLAYS THAT DAMN I KISSED A GIRL SONG?! WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!
Beep....Message 4...From Byakuya
Byakuya: DID YOU STEAL MY SCARF AND SELL IT ON EBAY?! AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET MY MYSPACE PASSWORD?! I'M NOT HORNY TODAY!!
Beep...Message 5...From Nozomi (nee-san)
NEE-SAN!!! Hey! I heard you were calling Bleach Peoples....and I had to call you!! Total genius man! Ha...and how did Toshiro react to his 'Green' hair? See ya, nee-san! Call me! (but no pranks, plz)
Beep...Message 6...From VeggieVamp183 (my other nee-san she lectures me much, but I still love her!)
You're and idiot.
Beep...Message 7...From Ichigo
DAMN YOU!!!
Yuzuki sighs. Yuzuki- That was heart warming, Ichi-sama.
Beep...Message 8...From Ichigo
GO BURN IN A HOLE!!!
Yuzuki: -eh?- ...go...burn....in a hole? Is that the best he gots? (I know, bad english.)
THE END- FIN- The End- Not The Beginning-
Me: I think they get it.
THE END- NOW GO AWAY-
Me: Hey! ^ You! The End person! Don't be mean to the readers! They wanna review so let them be!
THE END- FOR REAL THIS TIME- NOW YOU MAY GO BACK TO YOUR NORMAL AND BORING LIVES
Me: -grr- YOUR FIRED!!
THE OLD NARRATOR WAS THEN FIRED SO THEY HIRED UKITAKE.
Ukitake: cough...the...cough...end...cough...sneeze...
Yuzuki: -anime fall- This is hopeless...
Uryu: Review. So Yuzuki over here doesn't have a heart attack.
Yuzuki: YEAH! REVIEW! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!! URYU HOLD ME!!
Uryu: WAH?!