Breaking All Over Again

RPOV

"Love fades, mine has."

His words still rang in my ears, and my heart clenched with despair. I ran. And ran. And ran, as far as I can from the man I loved and the one who just broke my heart.

After what it felt like an eternity, I finally reached my destination.

My room.

I collapsed on my bed and then the words truly sank in. Deep down in my heart, I knew there was a chance that he has really given up but I refused to believe it. He couldn't have given up! That is not the Dimitri I knew! But he did. I finally broke down. Tears of despair, hatred, anger, disbelief, betrayal, loneliness, and sadness all tumbled down. Rose Hathaway crying? Is it the end of the world?

I cried and cried, until no more tears were left to come. "Love fades, mine has…" I clenched my fists until my knuckles went white.

Empty and exhausted, I let myself fall into a deep, dreamless sleep – all while, those four heartrending words screamed in my ears.

Bang. Bang. Bang. I woke up by the sound of the door.

I groaned and slowly turned my groggy head. Blinding light passed through my half-closed eyelids. Like a drunken man, I stumbled over to the terribly loud, obnoxious, banging door. I opened it slowly, only to find, my best friend, Lissa, standing there with two oversized, black plastic bags.

However, before I could ask what on earth they were, Lissa's gasp came first.

"Rose! H-how… W-were… Were you crying?" She asked, with surprise, shock, worry, and mild curiosity. Rose Hathaway never cries. NEVER. "What happened?" Sympathy and concern washed over the bond. She slammed the door behind her, set the bags down, and dragged me over to my bed.

"What happened?" She asked again, this time a whisper. A gentle whisper filled with emotions.

At first, I just stared at her. My best friend since first grade – all of my memories filled with her. Lissa's beautiful, Moroi features gave off a troubled, and restless countenance. Just seeing and feeling her dread for me, added to my misery. Before I knew it, I was leaning against her shoulder, crying, and spilling everything out; my parents, the accident, what happened in Russia, and Dimitri. Dimitri.

I sobbed for an hour. An hour of bawling my eyes out. An hour of pure weakness. An hour of humiliation and embarrassment. But I had to. I didn't know how I could live with that massive burden on my shoulders.

Ugh. Get a grip, Rose. My subconscious said.

After I calmed down, my gaze shifted over to the two mysterious bags hanging on my chair.

"Um…" I started to say, questioning.

"Oh! Today's the Masquerade Ball. You knew that… Didn't you?" she asked, warily.

"Yeah, I heard some people talking about it." I paused. "But a Masquerade Ball? We are in the Twenty-first century. Not the nineteenth. We don't have balls anymore. And honestly Lissa, I don't know if I can… go with everything that happened…" I trailed off.

"No. You are DEFINATLY NOT going to lock yourself up in your room, and become miserable just because of a guy" She said with surprising stubbornness. I raised my eyebrows. "My badass Rose will NEVER become weak after some guy broke her heart. She will face the consequences head on." She was dead serious.

I sighed. Probably some of my stubborn side rubbed off on her. I thought to myself. I sat in deep thought. After a minute of thinking, I sighed, "Okay fine" I surrendered. I slumped back on my bed. "Pretty me up."

Lissa beamed. "Okay but first things first Rose. You look horrible. No offense" She frowned.

I groaned.

"Go take a shower. I'll be here when you come out."

I sat, silently.

"GO!" She pushed me into the bathroom, and I stumbled inside. I stared at myself in the mirror.

She was right. I do look horrible. My hair was flying in every direction possible, and my eyes and face was all red and puffy from crying. Ugh.

I slowly peeled my clothes off, turn on the water, and step under.

The heavenly hot liquid loosened my tense muscles and I scrubbed myself raw. Actually, my mind was off of everything possibly wrong when, all of the sudden a soft, distant voice whispered, "love fades, mine has."

I froze. My heart was ripping to shreds all over again.

I stayed in the shower for more than an hour. Somehow, I got myself dressed and walked out of my steaming bathroom.

In the middle of my room, I see Lissa, admiring a black, terribly sexy, dress.

I gasped. "That dress…" I started to say.

Lissa spun around and faced me. Her face, gleaming with excitement.

"Yes, this dress does look similar to that other one you wore, months ago, right?" She said with a wise look in her eye. "But it's not the same one. I was walking by a store the other day, and found it. It immediately reminded me of you. And you are going to wear this." She said with confidence. I eyed her suspiciously.

"Fine. I give up. I'll go with you to the ball." I said, defeated. I stared at the dress. That night. I thought. Dimitri and I… I shook my head, getting rid of those memories from so long ago.

I sat down on my chair. "Okay Lissa, work with your girly powers. Make me pretty." I said, smiling.

Lissa grinned. "Okay, with your hair, I wa-"

"Lissa, do whatever you want," Cutting her off. "Just don't turn me into a raccoon or anything" I joked.

She laughed. "How can I turn you into a raccoon Rose? Don't worry. Relax."

Satisfied, I closed my eyes and let my mind wonder. However, I knew at once that, that was a very bad idea.

Thoughts of Dimitri filled my mind, saddening me all over again. The times we touched, laughed, joked, trained, kissed, and the night at the cabin. I yearned for his touch again. His kiss. His voice. Him. I love him…

Tears threatened to come, but I refused to cry. I already humiliated myself enough for today. No more.

All of the sudden, someone hugged me. I opened my eyes and found Lissa, crying. "I am so sorry Rose," she kept on saying.

"It's okay" I whispered, running my fingers through her soft hair. "It's okay."

I looked up and prayed that someone in heaven or anywhere, can help me put this misery to an end.

DPOV

I sighed. Rose's expression as I said those cruel, evil words still haunted my mind.

Oh God. I'm so sorry Roza. I thought. But I couldn't go back on my words now. I deserve to be punished. I don't deserve her. After what I had done to her in Russia, I couldn't be forgiven.

A soft knock broke me from my trance. I silently walked over to the door and opened it widely, seeing nothing but a note.

Dimitri.

You better come to the ball tonight. That is an order.

-Lissa

I smiled to myself. Roza's stubbornness seemed to have rubbed off on Lissa. I chuckled softly.

I lie on my bed.

If Lissa is coming, then probably is Roza. I thought.

I sighed. This is going to be a long night.