Both Sides Now by patricia51
(Jadelyn West isn't all leather and boots and tough girl whether you can see it or not. Beck can. Beck/Jade. Romance and maybe some unbelievable little fuzzies.)
"Moons and Junes and Ferris Wheels, The dizzy dancing way you feel As every fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way."
If anyone at Hollywood Arts High School, faculty or student alike, could take in the scene in front of them their eyes would bug out and their jaws would drop. That is assuming that they didn't faint, something that the majority of them would most likely do. Every single one of them, with one exception, would assume they were having a very wacky dream and would mutter something about eating too much Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream before bedtime. And anyone who was able to accept what before their eyes was real would never speak of it, both for fear of being branded a lunatic and for fear of ending up stuffed head first in a trash can or some other dire fate.
The one person who is there not only can accept it he revels in the sight. Beck Oliver is stretched out on a blanket, his back propped up against a handy tree and a happy smile across his face that stretches from ear to ear. He watches and he knows the meaning of the saying "My cup runneth over".
He loves Jade West. He loves her in black be it black clothing, black eye shadow and eyeliner and black lipstick. He loves her in heavy boots. He loves her when she's prickly, when she's grumpy, when she's short with other people. He loves her when he has to say "I apologize for... her". And that apology wasn't really accurate. He just couldn't find the right words to frame it. He wanted to apologize for Jade's actions. He never will apologize for Jade herself.
He does confess, if only to himself, that the rare moments like this are incredible. He drinks in this incredible sight. Jade, his Jade, as she is now.
She's barefoot, wearing of all thing white shorts and a loose white tank-top. No makeup touches her face. Her hair is its natural color. It floats around her face as she spins in place. Her toes seem to spurn the dark green grass. Her arms are raised over her head as though she was inviting the entire world to join her in her dance, a dance she does to music that only she can hear.
"But now it's just another show. You leave 'em laughing when you go And if you care, don't let them know, Don't give yourself away."
Beck wishes others could see Jade now but he understands why she only lets this side of her out when she's with him. Perhaps she does when she's alone he supposes although he certainly would never ask her about that. He's happy she shows it with him.
Although his friends at school don't know it his relationship with his father is pretty good. Sure, he goes on about "my roof, my rules" but in reality it's a pretty good natured tug-of-war between his Dad and him. In fact he knows his Dad is actually proud about him standing up for himself and striving to be independent.
But Jade now, good God, to even describe what goes on between her and her Dad as a "relationship" is to make a mockery of that word. The man baffles Beck and enrages him at the same time. His treatment of Jade and her dreams has hurt her beyond words. How can you call someone you are supposed to cherish and take care of "stupid"? Beck doesn't understand. But he knows what that disparagement has done.
Jade is bitchy, stand-offish and even willingly hurtful to others sometimes because she has to be. She has to keep people at bay. She has a wall of indifference and sarcasm erected around herself so high and so thick at one time he despaired of ever making the slightest chink in it. She knows that people can only hurt you if you let them in.
People have often asked him over the last two years why he stays with Jade. "You could do so much better" is the refrain he hears a lot, often from girls who think they would be just the perfect one to take him away from all he must have to suffer through. They don't understand.
They don't understand that Jade is hot and cool at the same time. She's sexy and she's desirable to him all the time. How she acts most of the time is a part of her just as this wonderful inner core that is dancing free before him right now. He was drawn to her at first sight. He had wondered if there was more to her than what was so glaringly obvious and he was right but it doesn't mean he cares any less for her when she's, well, being Jade.
Not that it's been easy! Far from it. That prickly outside shell of hers can sting and it often has. But the more he got to know her the more he craved her. The funny thing was even as she kept him at arm's length for so long he knew she wanted him too but even without that knowledge he would have been enthralled with her. She gets jealous and defensive and sometimes she lashes out at him, testing him to see if he really loves her.
He chuckles inside. Tori and the others don't know that the public breakup they had not long ago was only one of the times she's dumped him. And it actually went better this time. She is the WORST girl in the world for trying to fumble her way through reconciliation. This last time was really one of her better efforts. And the reason for that?
She gets scared. She breaks-up because she thinks he wants someone else. That's the reason she goes after Tori so much even though she actually would like the new girl as a friend. She worries that Beck will turn away from her for that bright open girl who wears her emotions on her sleeve. But as cute and nice as Tori is it's never going to happen. Because she's not Jade.
"I've looked at love from both sides now,From win and lose, and still somehow It's love's illusions I recall.I really don't know love at all."
Jade stops dancing, her arms flung wide as though she was going to embrace the entire world. Then she runs across the grass to him and flings herself into his open, waiting arms. He strokes her hair and kisses her when she lifts her flushed face and sparkling eyes to him. The kiss is just as soft and sweet as it always is but today it seems infused with sunshine and green grass and Jade's long bare legs dancing in the open.
Soon she will be back in black and boots and she'll show her other side to the world again, determined to make it meet her on her terms. And she'll be unpleasant and rude and indifferent and incredibly talented as an actress and a writer, singer and dancer.
And it won't matter. Because he loves both sides of Jade West.
(The End)
(The song is the second verse of "Both Sides Now" which was written in March 1967 by Joni Mitchell. The first recording of it was released by Judy Collins in 1968. Joni released her own recording of it on her album "Clouds" in 1969. I don't care what Tom Hanks said in "You've Got Mail" I have loved the song since it first came out, which rather glaringly demonstrates my age.)
(Oh and I know there are some spacing problems but when I uploaded this the song lyrics were completely rearranged and the quotation marks stripped away. I have no clue why. I tried to put everything back to where I had it but I can't.)