Author's Note: Hi guys, this is just a sorta one-shot that I did a few years back as part of an AP Lang class (yeah, I know, cool right!) Anyway, it's stressing on one of the themes in the Life of Pi, which is that humans can be savage like animals (if you read the book...Pi talks about the animals on the boat the whole time, but in the end, he says something very interesting—he says each animal is a human, like the orangutan is his mom and the hyena was the captain, if I remember correctly...and it's an ah-ha! moment where you realize that he hadn't been stuck on a boat with animals after all. He just turned them into animals in his imagination to deal with the fact that humans can be savage...Anyway, sorry for the philosophical rant!) I hope you enjoy this one-shot, and please review but don't flame me! All original characters.

The Wolf in Us

I wonder if it's just in human nature to be cruel.

Many people say, as they watch animals out in the wild fight for survival, that animals are brutal, merciless, and savage. Yet animals are often sadistic beasts because they fight to survive. They are cruel because they don't know any better.

But humans…we should know better. We are a civilized, highly evolved species that should be capable of having compassion and mercy. We should never have murderers in our society. We should never have those evil traits in our genes. But we do.

I suppose even civilization has a dark side.

"The word inhumane," I said. "It's funny, how we always compare something to ourselves. As if we're somehow better than everything else. As if we, humans, are something that is the natural "standard" for comparing everything else. We use the word "inhumane" for anything that is not "human," like that's a bad thing—"

"What are you rambling on about?" Mike grumbled.

I shrugged. "Nothing important really. Just the psychological path that society's heading down towards these days—total craziness."

Mike rolled his eyes, like my rants were nothing new, which I suppose they weren't. "As if you ain't a wackjob yourself. Why are you always so dang cynical? What's the world done to you?"

I raised an eyebrow, unfazed. "The question is, what have we done to the world?"

The bell rang, and kids started to get out of their seats, swarming around the door, cussing and shoving each other.

I clutched my book bag and felt the comforting weight of my totem underneath my shirt.

It wasn't as if I'd wanted to do it. I never had. And the wooden totem I was obliged to wear all the time was a vessel containing my guilt, containing the terror and fury that threatened to escape whenever I thought of what I had done.

He had told me to sight down the line, through the crosspiece. "See that? Always line that up a little above the target. You gotta compensate for the drop that the distance creates."

The Animalia Synthesis Initiative was something that the national secret service agency was hyped up about. Tiny wooden totems had been dug out of archaeological sites since centuries ago, very few in number and very much underappreciated. It wasn't until a few months ago that they had learned that these totems, totems that came in varying animal shapes, contained a very special power—they could turn a human into the animal that the totem represented.

But everything came at a price.

I was the first wave, the breed of notorious guinea pigs that scientists are always going on about. As an orphan and technically a "property" of the government, I had been first pick. Well, of course they hadn't paid any mind to the fact that I'd been enrolled in a martial arts judo-jiujitsu-karate mix since I was eight. That obviously hadn't been a factor at all in their decision to pick me. No, not at alllllll…But anyhow, they wanted me badly and they got me.

I want to say that they fed me lies, that they nestled false stories into my head to manipulate me. But I have to be honest to myself, after all the sins that I have committed. Who cares about who had started what? It's what was done that matters, it's what turned out in the end that decides it all. And in the end, it's all my fault. Because I fell for their lies.

I walked down the street, towards the grocery store at the intersection of Greens Hill Boulevard and South Lane. The grocery store was my home now, had been for a year. It was the secret hideout and meeting place for secret agents, and I'm one of them now. A despicable human being. A killer. A murderer.

"Twilight, set your stuff down here and meet us in the backyard. We're doing a little exercise today. And don't dally."

The commander had piercing blue eyes and a stern face. I can't say I hate him. He's treated me well enough. I just hate what he has turned me into.

The totems worked quite simply, they said. There were only a few dozens of them in the world, and they told me that I was lucky to get one. They never said there was a catch. No, they only mentioned, as a tiny detail, that only the strongest would be able to wield a totem's power. Never mentioned why only the strongest could wield that power. After all, who cares what that "catch" would be?

Oh no, it's quite simple. All you have to do is get some blood—just some—from the animal your totem represents.

No, but honey, you're gonna have to use this. It'll keep you safe. It has a barrel, a crosspiece, a handle, and oh, the important thing here is the trigger. Remember that, Twilight. Remember, that when you see your totem animal, you aim for their head. It'll put them to sleep, that's all. And you'll be safe. Yes, that's the most important thing in the world.

I set my stuff down and slowly walked towards the back door. I wasn't too excited for my lesson. Every time I used my totem I was reminded of the blood that I had spilt to get where I was now. And I wished that I could take it all back.

I'd gone halfway across the store when a commotion behind me made me turn my head. I caught a glimpse of something and suddenly the whole front of the shop blew up. The blast flung me all the way across the room. I crashed into the wall and collapsed down onto the floor. I lay there dazed for one second before I suddenly realized that a grocery shelf was toppling over, onto where I lay. Yelping, I rolled across the floor a split second before it crashed into the ground, snagging a corner of my shirt.

I got up shakily, feeling dizzy. My blurry vision seemed to make the ground and walls around me shake as if the very store was alive. I realized that the roof was about to cave in, and I made a split-second decision. I sprinted across the room, dodging falling shelves and crashing light bulbs, and exploded through the wide store windows just as the building shuddered and collapsed, bricks and plaster raining down.

I fell onto my knees outside on the concrete, dully registering people's screams of fright and terror. I saw someone out of the corner of my eye rush through the crowd, pushing people out of the way. I got up, my legs shaking but getting stronger by the minute.

"Hey!" I yelled, my voice slightly hoarse but made louder by my anger. "Stop!"

Then I shot after him, bulling through the crowd and following in his wake. The guy ran across streets, cutting around corners, all the while staying just a few feet ahead of me. My breath cut knifelike through my side, and I felt cold-hot adrenaline rush through me. I could feel my vision blurring and sharpening. I reached for the cord around my neck and pulled my totem out.

"Good job, good job!" They crowded around me, praising me, clapping me on the back. I stared down at the thing in my hand, knowing that something had gone wrong. That loud noise, then the sudden collapse of the animal. There was now an emptiness in the world that had not been there before. And no one could tell me what it was.

I hated it. I hated that I had to use it, I hated that it had ever been made. Yet, I also knew that if I had destroyed a life to create this thing, it should be used for something. Something good.

Nothing would ever atone for the wrong I had committed, I knew that. But the life that had been lost would never be for nothing. I would make sure of that. I would never let it be in vain. Undeserving as I am, I would try my best to honor him.

The bomber raced onto a soccer field towards the woods, and I knew that I would lose him if I did not do it NOW. So as he ran straight across the field, I leaped onto the soccer goal's beam, ran across it with uncanny balance, then leapt surefooted off it—

—and transformed into my totem animal in mid-leap. The sudden transition was dizzying, but I had trained for this. I landed right on top of the bad guy and brought him down. We rolled and wrestled, and I fought for control. I bit his hand hard and he let go of my throat. I growled and managed to get on top of him and pinned him down. Then I saw something that made me freeze.

"But why did he have to die? Why?" I cried. I wasn't stupid. I knew now.

They didn't get it. They consoled me and said that it was all right, that I was meant to have it, to have this glory, this power. An animal's just an animal, and we're so much better. We deserve this. It's okay, it's just a one-time thing.

I knew it wasn't right, but there was nothing I could do.

It was a brown cord. Around his neck. I eyed the guy underneath me, who looked terrified. But there was something else in his expression, something darker and less natural than fear. It convinced me that the cord wasn't just a regular cord. With my teeth, I snagged the cord and as the guy tried to grab it back, I pulled and it snapped.

See this hole here? In the totem? That's where you pour the lifeblood. "Lifeblood?" I said bitterly. "He died for this. It took his life. I'm ashamed of myself." They looked at me as if I was the weird one.

Honey, you don't understand. If he hadn't died, then the magic wouldn't have worked. It was necessary. And now you can be one of us.

Magic. Magic? The thing is, it wasn't magic. Not magic at all. It was dark, and brutal, and merciless. It was preying on the innocent. It was inhumane.

Everyone who is a totem wielder knows what happens when you lose your totem in a transformation. You transform back into your original state. This guy, somehow, had gotten his hands on a totem. Well, no biggie. I would just take it back and give it to the Animalia Synthesis Initiative. That, and also get this guy's butt in jail where he belonged.

But what I'd never realized about the totems was what became my downfall…

The guy I'd been pinning down instantly transformed back into his original state—a gray wolf, coincidentally exactly like my own totem animal.

I was so surprised I let go of him. He leapt up snarling, and we circled each other. I glanced at the totem on the ground.

It was a human totem.

How—how is that possible? I growled, shocked.

The wolf seemed to sneer. Thought only humans could wield such power, huh? Well, guess what? There're hundreds more where that came from—and many more animals who want all of you dead.

I was hit hard again with what I had done. I never wanted to do it. Not that it mattered, anyway.

The wolf looked pained. I can't believe it. You shot my brother right in front of my eyes. Right there!

He leapt at me and tried to bite me. I skittered back and slashed at his eyes with my claws. He backed off and we glared at each other, panting.

I'm sorry. There's no one here to say it but me—I'm sorry for everything we've done.

It was no use. The wolf had been simmering in his anger and hatred for too long. He didn't hear me.

And you call us uncivilized, like a pack of wild, disgusting animals. The wolf looked half crazed as he eyed me, waiting for a chance to attack. Well, if that's what it means to be decent and not a greedy, uncaring, brutal human, then we're glad that we're animals.

What do you want? I asked. I didn't know what to do with him. I'd killed his brother. What more could I say?

The wolf made a strange, keening sound. I think he was wailing in pain and grief. I just want my brother BACK!

He attacked me in a flurry of claws and teeth. I wanted to tell him that this wasn't the way to do things—what's done is done—but it was too late. I was fighting for my life. He swiped at me and caught me on the leg. I sank my teeth deep into his neck. He slashed me across the eyes and I let go of him. He rolled on top of me, his claws digging deep into my skin.

My mind was awhirl with panic and half-finished thoughts.

I wanted to tell him I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry and I wanted to tell him don't do it, don't do it.

I never got to. He caught me across the snout with a sharp claw, and as I yowled in pain, he snapped his jaws around my throat and sank his teeth in.

I never got to tell him.

It wasn't my place, maybe, but I never got to tell him. No matter how honorable your intentions, no matter how deeply you believe that it's the right thing to do, if it involves death then it would never be right.

Nothing good would ever come out of death.

End of The Wolf in Us

Author's Note: How was it? I don't really like writing dark stories, but since I already wrote it a few years back, I thought, why not post it and get feedback? It's just going to stay in my Google Drive unread anymore anyway. Please review, and thanks for reading!