Misty Dawn: A Twilight Fanfiction

by twilight rapture

As a mysterious, unknown vampires lurks in the forests of Forks, Bella and Edward's daughter, Renesmee and her best friend Jacob Black will be put to the ultimate test when secrets and betrayal threaten to tear them apart.

1. Chapter 1 (Written 2013)

PREFACE
Across the street, a young man in dreadlocks stared at me, his dark eyes were paradoxical, showing both disgust and deep interest. I clutched my stomach, which shot long, torturing pains through my frame and walked towards him. My arms reached out to grip the wall but I did not make it, falling over myself and stumbling onto the sidewalk, my words were the soft wind that whipped my brittle hair.
"I can't breathe." I spluttered, holding my throat and gasping for the air I knew was there but would not spin down my throat; I knew I could only take very few more steps before I collapsed altogether into a screaming heap on the concrete; I tried to grip each crack of the footpath and claw myself forward as I toppled to the ground, my teeth mashed together and my tongue pressed again the prison it was in. I could feel my muscles weakening, letting the pain take over my efforts despite my desperation to block it out; it gripped my arms and legs in its hold and pulled at me, my body convulsed in response.

It lifted the highest point in my chest high before letting it fall again, I groaned and let my arms wobble like jelly as the unavoidable pain engulfed me; drowning me in its weightless ocean. The current would not let me up to take a single breath; it yanked me left and right like driftwood until I was nothing but a hollow shell.
Still-The pain never resided.
I couldn't find the man in the deep solitude of the sea, the black waves clouded my sight and the anguish was all I could think about. How could I get him to save us?

For the last time, I found my hands stroking my stomach, the place where a new life was clawing its way out. Would this be too hard? Would I be damned to the same fate as every other vampire-hybrid carrying mother? And what of him? Would he be able to escape?

And then, there was the one I loved more than anything I knew in the ocean with me, the one who had loved me since the dawn of my life and would still be here, consciously or subconsciously, at its twilight. I felt my arms reach for him, and somehow I could feel him doing the same but nothing came, nor did it vanish; we were frozen in this same, fixed position, arms out, trying to touch each other unsuccessfully. After everything we had been through, I was going to let the sea suck me down. I knew that in the deep mist of my heart.
It wasn't a choice, but an irrevocable force I could not refuse.
His name was still on my lips as I hit and screamed at the skin of my own body.
Jacob.
Jacob.
Jacob.
Jacob...

CHAPTER ONE
Renesmee Carlie Cullen
CHANGES

SILENCE WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL TUNE AROUND US, THE harmony that lulled our souls, what made the mere thud of our feet seem like the most magnificent echo of a symphony. We walked like restless spirits in synchronization; letting nothing but shallow breaths escape from our lips. The only sign that we were not human was their pale skin, topaz eyes, our bodies, that looked much more powerful to immortals eyes than mortals.
And of course, the scarlet blood that dripped from our cerise lips. It was from our most recent kill; a vulnerable doe, which was now dead, drained completely of blood; at the foot of the river.

It had been the most successful day in a long time. The latest snow storm in Forks, Washington had both forced animals into hiding and wiped them out completely with its heartless tempest of ice, leaving our family in danger of turning on each other from malnourishment. Thankfully, we had gone to separate parts of the forest today to find something, anything to fulfil out desperate thirst. This was our third kill this morning, besides some ancient carcasses we had come across earlier, which had done nothing for our appetite.

"We haven't had a day such as this in a very long time, Edward." My mother whispered, taking a look at my father. Her eyes were the most fluid tawny shade they had been in months, which must've meant the hunt and food had done wonders for her mood.
"It's great. I feel fantastic."
"It's been a slow month, sweetheart." my Dad, Edward replied
"Winter is the worst time to hunt, but I have never seen anything like this before. It's almost like..."
"Like they're dying out?" I guessed without much thought.
"It's a possibility, sweetie."
"I didn't think that was possible, Edward." Mom mused aloud. She rolled her eyes and focused her attention on the vegetation ahead
"That's a bit melodramatic."

I didn't see the need to argue or plead my case so I did not speak again. My thoughts leisurely drifted to the edges of reality, letting the trees become visions of my kill. I couldn't think about us starving, wasting away and turning on each other; I couldn't afford to; it was an idea that I didn't relish. It scared me to death to think that there was a chance a family could fall apart, particularly ours. Only conjuring up delusions of my deepest desires in the moment could save me now and keep the bad, frightening thoughts away. I sucked in a breath of air, let go of my senses and followed my Mom and Dad as they veered off course and took off into the forest.

As the environment became more and more familiar, it began to fizzle out. It came to a point where I could've navigated my way without any sense whatsoever.
I knew this path like the back of my hand.

The cottage came into view and, just like every other time I saw it, it intrigued me. The building in itself-was unimaginably fantastic, it stood graceful in the golden light, giving off multi-coloured sparks whenever the light touched the windows. The green ivy that curled around the door hugged the walls lovingly, beckoning the outside in. Who couldn't be taken by such natural beauty? Even a vampire would be won over by a place with such mythical allure; the way the sound of splashing water hummed soft and pleasantly in the distance and the flowers that lolled their heads as if they were drunk on their own dreams. It sung out with joy, quaint living and life.

But something wasn't right. I could feel it in me now, the incomplete emptiness that I always felt here, almost like something was missing from the picture...
I dropped my gaze to my feet, afraid to let the direct comprehension bring on the serrated edges of the bareness.
It was too warm when I entered the house because of a fire that was blazing under the mantelpiece. I spared the front room no welcome glance, saving my eyes for the stairs that lead to the kitchen. As I crossed the first floor landing, it became obvious to me that someone, probably Alice or Rosalie, had been here and cleaned up while we were out on our hunt. My book of Robert Frost poems, which I had left on the floor when I'd dropped it last night, was now neatly tucked away in the closet sized bookshelf in the hallway and the dust that had begun to fall on the coffee table by the bathroom door had miraculously vanished. That was nice. And weird.

I knew that there was a huge gap in my day I was responsible for filling, but I felt no enthusiasm to approach it. What could I do anyhow? Study? Wasn't really much reason to do that unless I was receiving education. I recoiled from the idea of heading upstairs to read, I had tried that enough times to know that it made time drag more than anything. The repetitive moods and pitiable plots of collection of classics made me want to sleep and the romances gave me an uneasy stomach.
What about Port Angeles? I thought to myself, but kept the idea at bay; thinking of the humans wandering aimlessly through the streets.
I couldn't risk it, I could slip up and then I would be the one with the eternal guilty conscious.
I didn't have the guts to head there alone.

I took a deep breath in and inhaled the beautiful scents of this room. They were so ordinary, familiar in their own ways, but they stroked my nostrils with their loving flavours so it was almost impossible to ignore it. Leather from my jacket, fresh wood; smoke from the crackling fire, the slight lavender scent of the fabric of the recliners...Honeysuckle, even, from the wind coming from the open window, the minty taste of the air I breathed...
Brine, even though a beach was not close, was there too, it danced in the air around me; kissed my lips with its distinct fragrance. It almost shocked me, but I found it to be too beautiful a smell to mull over. It made me think of the closest source of salt water, First Beach; and the little Native American reservation, La Push, surrounding it; a place where magic almost as amazing as ours existed; where anybody who knew more than the literal beliefs of humans would dream of going.
Where my friends, the La Push werewolves lived

Suddenly, I was in a hurry. I bolted through the door; slamming it out of my way in my haste. I nearly demolished the gate as I ran towards my car, but lucky for the gate I leapt over it before I could cause any serious damage. My black car stood underneath one of the pines to the west of the cottage, glimmering in the sunlight; I had no time to admire the shining cab I had spent all morning yesterday scrubbing with bleach, I threw myself in, throwing my jacket off and tossing it into the back seat. Feeling like purring as I listened to the soft humming as I revved the engine, I backed around two pines and drove towards the river. It seemed like no amount of time until I was out on the highway, heading North on the one oh one; the music on the radio blaring to stop me from thinking about the emptiness loneliness brought. Of course I couldn't completely forget.
I could feel it coming now; the surreal emptiness of my now deserted surroundings, the now gale force wind from the open window cut like razors through my chest, leaving open wounds that stung with their exposure to the cold air. I was not full, still plagued by the puzzling nothingness that inhabited me, but I knew I could not let it possess me completely.
I still had enough sense to blink. To keep functioning. All I knew was that I had to carry on driving; to get to the place that would take this away, where I always came when the emptiness threatened to return.

La Push, with its quaint little village, graceful sandy beaches, towering cliffs and beautiful forests; it was like another dimension, completely cut off from the real world. It never pleased me more to return to its safe glow; to have it chase away the blankness I felt when I left it.
As the first houses of the village came into sight; I breathed a deep sigh of relief continued to drive; with much more animation before, probably due to the fact that I was happier. I could feel the vivacious light inside, fulfilment, which I hungered. It was like I had been reborn; like the normal part of me that had seemed to be slipping away had returned, giving me back my lungs so I could breathe again.
It felt nice to be here, to drive down this road. But what I felt was something so much more than happiness; it was everything.
Deeper. More complex.

I decided not to take the road to Jacob's. The little red house was like the centre of my happiness, it warmed my icy heart and made me smile. But I stole a look at my mileage and I had to restrain myself, knowing there was no way I was going to make it there on a nearly empty tank. I slugged on, the car slowing in pace by the second, until it wheezed to a death stop on the outskirts of town; I killed the gas.
"Oh great!" I shouted, slamming my head against the steering wheel. Now I was going to have to run for help or at least get to one of the wolves houses or call home for a ride. That would really piss Dad or Paul off.

I briefly thought about going to get gas, but there was no hope, the nearest station was at least half an hour away and I had no desire to run there and back, not now, when I was at my weakest. I was just going to have to go and get help.
Why hadn't I just checked the gas before I'd left?
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
I put my head between my legs, rolling backwards and forward, whispering those same words.

After a few minutes, I pulled myself together, sat up straight and ran my hand through my hair. There was no need to get worked up, I wasn't too far out of La Push, it wouldn't take me too long to get to a phone booth.
I was just about to get up and leave for town when two figures caught my attention as they moved like ghosts through the trees.
The first thing I realised about them was that they were men, and young men, possibly late teens or early twenties, judging by their tall and extremely accomplished frames. They were also both shirtless; the tallest wearing a pair of cut off jeans and the other in khaki shorts and both had quite long hair, the tallests' fell to his chin like a long unkempt curtain and the others cut along the nape of his neck. Both were tan and wore the same dark tattoo on their left arm. I identified the pair almost immediately; so sure of it that I would've bet my life on it.
Jacob Black and Seth Clearwater.

Though in their faces, they looked like twins. Though there were small things that gave them away, like the way Jacob's eyes glittered in the little light and the long faded scar that slashed across Seth's arm.
As their eyes fell on me, their expressions changed. Seth's became bored, uninterested, like he was watching a blank television screen.
But Jake's eyes lightened to the most gorgeous shade of caramel and his lips spread into a wide grin that made my cheeks stain scarlet. I was suddenly occupied with trying to undo my seatbelt to hide my blush from him.
"Hey Nessie!" Seth shouted, tapping a finger on my window; I hadn't noticed that he had crossed the street so the sudden sound made me jump; I sighed and shook my head.
"Hi Seth."

I could still feel Jacob's eyes on my face, though I was too chicken to look up to meet them. Looking at the steering wheel absent mindedly, I wanted to tell him that it was rude to stare, that it was too weird for him to have his eyes on me all the time, but something inside held my voice back, so I found my lips curling around nothing.
Seth opened the car door and yanked me out with one effortless push that was so hard that I almost fell onto the road. I could feel the dizziness as I tottered on the tar; trying to find myself in the haze my vision had become.
That really pissed me off...But I found that instead of gritting my teeth in embarrassment, I laughed, the sound echoing around us, a bullhorn.
"Thanks," I muttered, unamused.

Jacob still loitered on the side of the road, his expression made it look like he was pondering whether to approach us or not. Snickering again at his internal conflict; I beckoned him forward, my arm outstretched; like I was reaching out for Jacob himself rather than his presence.
"Where's my hug Jake?"
His grin turned into a rainbow of pearly white teeth as he crossed the road in two strides and took me up in his arms in an embrace that probably would've flattened a human. I felt nothing but pleasure; it was nice to know that he was here, beside me, nice to be held in the warm glow that was Jacob.
"There it is." He mumbled into my hair, his arms wrapping a little more securely around me.
"You're back, you haven't told me what you've been up to."
"That's because you won't get the heck off me so I can speak!"
"Oh, sorry."
The warm prisons his arms had become released me, though they lingered on my hips; not fully let me go. To be honest, I really didn't want to either, the heat fulfilled me; it clouded every other bad thought out.

Jake was like my bad dream catcher, whenever I was in his arms; the heat seemed to destroy all the terrible ideas and dreams on my mind. My guardian angel, keeping nothing but happiness inside of me.
"I didn't expect to see you here." I said. Jacob's face became slightly embarrassed; obviously, he had been hoping that I would not bring it up.
"I figured you'd say that." He muttered, I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or himself, though.
"Yeah, since the err…." Seth coughed into his free hand
"Little incident."
I looked at both of them, confused.
"What incident?"
Jacob bit his lip
"Well-"
"We-We came across a scent." Seth told me; cutting off whatever Jacob had been about to say. He seemed generally pleased he had broken his silence.
"A bad one, screwed up my nose." He wrinkled his nose in disgust at the memory
"A scent?" I echoed disbelievingly
"Yeah…Nothing to worry about, we're just exercising caution." I turned to Jake and shook my head, smiling now.
"Why didn't you just tell me when you saw me before?"
He stared at my totally calm face with a look that gave me the impression that the question had cut him short
"You're not scared? Or mad?" He asked inquisitively, I rolled my eyes.
"Well, I am a little miffed that whoever it was decided to show up. But it's not really important."
"Not important?" He raised his eyebrow
"As in, this isn't bad news."
I rolled my eyes
"I didn't mean it like that" I groaned
"I meant that…When we either drive the person out or its a false alarm; we're not going to get in trouble or anything. That is more important-"
I wrapped my right arm around Seth so we were joined as a three; where it seemed that I was protected, where nobody could break us.
"Than any stupid vampire or entity that crosses our land."
"Agreed." Seth hollered
"Sure." Jake muttered, a little less ecstatic than he had been earlier.

We walked like that for a while, piping up on the regular occasion about the weather and the conditions in the Olympic Peninsula at present; but never letting it swell into any lengthy conversation. We turned into the forest about five miles west on the one oh one and with nothing to guide us we continued north; more instinct that proper direction, I guess.

Somehow, after about half an hour of pointless silence, the trees thinned out and became the most stunning clearing; one that was both large and dark and familiar. We gazed around us, engrossed and completely uninterested with what we had found. Seth bit his lip.
"I told you it was east." He said and smiled at Jake-So I had been wrong about which direction we had been heading then- Jake shook his head.
"I thought it was north. Guess I was wrong about that too."

Wrong about that too? What had Jake also been wrong about?
Was it the fact that I would arrive in La Push, that my family wouldn't come with me...
Or maybe it had nothing to do with me, or my family for that matter. I gazed into his dark eyes, trying to find sense in their depths; but no matter how hard I tried, I found nothing was nothing; just the now lively sparkle in chocolate oceans that threatened to consume my soul with their beauty.
He had such beautiful eyes; like a colour I had never seen before, not chocolate; no that wasn't right. This was lighter, prettier; like eyes that belonged on the face of the archangel; but I could not put a name to it.
But what were those angel eyes not telling me?

At that moment, the eyes broke away from mine; moving to the head of the glade almost as if he was searching for something beyond me, making a desperate escape from my questions. I moved forward and as he did, I watched everything in his face change. He was no longer everything that chased away the bad thoughts in my world, his face was too expressionless, a bitter mockery of his contagious grin. Like he was trying to keep a happy face when something much more sinister was imminent.

There was no way I could find my happiness; not when he was trying so hard to hound away my anxiety, it was almost as pointless as screaming out into a dark night to be listened to but all along knowing that there was nothing there.
I couldn't find the will to speak; there was nothing to say. Jake shook his head, his gracefully long black hair flicking about like a dark flame, and began to walk slowly towards the trees, he took a deep sniff of air and nodded
"He's coming."
"Anybody with him?" Seth questioned, he put his left arm on my shoulder, squeezing it with a little more force than necessary. I ducked out of the way; I was too deep in wonder to turn away. Who was coming? Whoever it was, it had to be a werewolf. Brady, Collin or Embry perhaps? Or maybe someone in the higher ranks like Leah or Sam.
I had to see who it was so I would know exactly why they had brought me here.

While I waited, I began to dissolve into a game with myself, a pointless, pathetic exercise to try and think of as many logical explanations for this meeting.
The scent
That was the only conclusion I could come to. But just thinking of the possibilities made my stomach turn, but decided that I would wait before I made any hasty and wholly unnecessary assumptions and see who had come to meet up with us. I knew whoever it was would answer my pleas.
If it was Sam, then there was no way that Seth and Jacob had purely come to pick me up as a polite gesture. Could they have been... Making sure I had made it down to La Push in one piece?

I thought on that for a minute. I knew the conclusion I wanted to come to-That it was one of the most ridiculous ideas I had ever come up with; that this sudden meeting had absolutely nothing to do with me or anything bloodthirsty. I wanted so desperately to believe that all of this did not affect me; but something in both their faces made me doubt it and find no possible answer to my thought.
"Collin, but he's going to stay in the trees so he can listen properly."

A sound rumbled through the trees like thunder booming around us; so loud that I wanted to cover my ears and hum. I knew what that meant as I followed the two other pairs of eyes to the fringes of the trees. This was bad, very bad.
"Damn it,"
I should have invested in tinted windows.

As we watched, a black shape the size of a house ghosted through the trees, so beautiful it was almost like it was gliding across the ground. It shape would have made anyone assume it was a grizzly on all fours something about the length of its fur and the slight canine touch to it made it seem more and more like an oversized wolf. But there wasn't enough wolf-like features to the shape that would make any human come to that conclusion….Just anyone non-human.
Its' eyes narrowed as it approached us; nothing about its face looked friendly or welcoming. When its eyes fell on me, its muzzle wrinkled, like he smelt something bad. I sniffed the air; the luscious scent of pine, wildflower and a slight tinge of ocean brine on the breeze. That couldn't be bad, unless there was something seriously wrong with my sinuses.

Jacob nodded at the wolf with an expression that almost came across as relief, probably because Sam had just saved him from my plague of questions. The wolf hissed at him and he replied by whispering two words in Quileute, a precaution probably taken to ensure that I didn't get a word of it. Though it was beyond me, the wolf bobbed its head, its dark brown eyes now filled with understanding: It completely got it. Jake began to talk; his words running in together in his haste to get the story out quickly and effectively, so there would be no mistake.

"He wants us to explain." He said quickly to me, before he turned back to the creature.
"We were running back to La Push to trade off shifts with Jared, Leah and Quil when...Well..." He stopped, scratching his head guiltily, the words were there, but he couldn't find the right way to get them out.
"I can't really explain it..."
"We came across this sort of sugary scent." Seth cut in, his voice excited to be included in this one way conversation, Jake's head shook in agreement.
"Yup, that's what it smelt like; but almost too strong sort of like..."
Jacob shot a look at me and I stared back, confused.
"Like The Cullens'"
"But way more sickly." Seth continued
"Almost like…Oh jeez, I can't even put it into words. It would seriously make you barf if you got a whiff, it'd make any one of us sick."
The wolf growled in response.

"So we followed it." Seth said, his words now directed at me rather than the two behind us. Something told me he was trying to help me grasp what they were saying rather than his usual refusal to be shut up by anybody before he got a chance to get the entire story out first. Jacob sighed and rolled his eyes leisurely; this fact was obvious to him and the wolf and it was nothing short of repetitive. They seemed to have forgotten that I hadn't caught up with them yet.
I bit my lip.
They had followed an unknown scent, who knew what it was yet alone what it could've meant if they had caught up with whatever it was.
"Jake expected it to go into the water, or at least go up into the mountains where nobody would follow it. But-It went into Forks-"

Everybody not in the know reacted to that. The wolf leapt back in terror and yelped angrily. Back in the darkness of the vegetation, howls from our surprised but irate audience rang like booming bells.
I felt as if I had received a massive punch in the gut; one hand moved to my mouth whereas the other gripped the fabric of my shirt, trying to hold my chest together as it threatened to explode into a thousand pieces.
"But….My grandpa!" I spluttered, falling over myself in shock. It seemed as if my entire world had blasted itself into nothingness and fear; letting everything frightening and chilling into me; hollowing me out, leaving me with nothing but the knowledge of my friends around me, my beloved family at home at the massive house off the highway on the way to Forks...
"My family! The humans! Irina!"

Someone scoffed in the trees. I knew it had been a stupid thing to say. The Volturi had burned Irina up years ago, there had been no mistake, I had seen the execution myself. There was no way she could have escaped, but it didn't matter to me anymore.
Someone, something had actually tried to get into Forks! Past my family into the human district…

"Relax, Renesmee, Renesmee, honey; relax. Seth hadn't finished." Jacob soothed me, reaching out to stroke my hair, his face turned soft and childlike. A gesture to help calmly As I blinked furiously, I could feel my hyperventilation corroding away to normal breath.

"Breathe Renesmee, honey. Everything is okay; I promise. You're safe." His arms reached out to touch both my shoulders, though I knew he was just holding me to the earth so I would no explode; as I looked up at him, I could see his face was still genuine.
But no matter how hard he tried, I could not escape the fear that was eating away at me.
"It's not my safety I'm concerned about! It's everyone else's'!"
Slowly, the tears spilled over, Jake shook his head.
"We don't even know what it is for crying out loud!" I squeaked
"It could be a zombie-Something that feasts on human flesh! Bodies will start turning up...People will begin to suspect werewolves like before..."
I stopped myself right there as I remembered my morals. I refused to let myself imagine exactly what that had been like for the wolves, for my mother, for the entire of La Push in the know. Horrible, terrible….
That couldn't happen again! It was dangerous for us to even consider letting this get so far that the humans would go out on hunts for wolves again. Many nomad roamed the mountains on the rare occasion and if this thing was near...Would any return?

Jake raised his eyebrow, realization sweeping across his face. He gripped my shoulders tighter, beginning to shake me almost slightly like he was trying to drill the knowledge into me.
"Now you listen to me Renesmee Carlie Cullen!" He chastised, his voice both joking and deathly serious. I ran the back of my hand across my face to wipe away the tears and bit my lip; I could not answer. I wouldn't answer.
"Do you honestly think that I would let whatever this is get anywhere near you? Near the humans or your family? This is what we were made for, honey. This is the type of thing we're supposed to do. Protect people...Anybody good from the evil out there. From the vamps that won't just leave us alone."
I snickered miserably; though it broke off with a small whimper of a cry. He smiled lightly; the way an adult would do with a crying child and took my face in his big hands, his fingers wiping away the last tears that naughtily escaped from my tear ducts when my brain had ordered them to stop coming.
"Breathe" He whispered, stroking my hair.
"Everything's absolutely fine. I'm right here, Seth and Sam are here; nobody can get past us; nobody is going to hurt you."

I almost said something completely wet and idiotic back but I finally stood back to take a look at myself. I realized-much to my embarrassment-that I was making a fool of myself.
Now that was something I hadn't expected
"Get a hold of yourself, Ness!" A voice that did not go with the clearing shouted at me, I identified it straight away when Collin emerged from the trees, rolling his eyes.
"Seth hadn't finished."
Jacob tore a branch from one of the nearby trees and flung it at Collin; it spun through the air like a bomb. I flinched as it tore across the clearing, heading straight for Collins head. But, my anxiety wasn't needed; it landed in his ready hand. He stared up at Jacob and laughed
"Is that the best you got?" He asked through giggles
"Well that's pathetic. Couple of days of this and I'll be losing muscle."
Jacob ignored the cutting comment, he seemed a little too angry to bother with Collin's usual namby-pamby crap.
"Don't you know that women are more sensitive than men, you idiot Collin?" He roared through gritted teeth.
As if set like an alarm clock, Jake's loyal followed immediately moved to stand next to me; his face a mask of anger and annoyance. Seth touched my shoulder with his left arm and shook his right at Collin; as if he could reach across and take his head in his too big hands.

"You're right, I hadn't finished!" He shouted, his hand balling into a fist that I abruptly associated with deadly sharp razor blades.
"I was briefly explaining everything so that our little hybrid here" he gestured to me "would understand what the hell we were talking about. It's my fault she got all upset and jumped to conclusions and I take full responsibility for it. But no matter whose fault it is; you can't tell her to get over herself."
"At least she's thinking about how this is going to affect everyone." Jacob shot at the two by the trees.
I didn't like where all this was going. I didn't want to be held responsible for them getting into an argument.
But something about all their faces told me that there was no way I could do anything to try and stop them without hurting myself in the process so I kept my mouth shut

"I have to admit, I didn't really think about it." Seth mused, evaluating my hypothesis with true thought.
"But if this thing actually gets into the district; we're all screwed. We couldn't get in cause we'd be seen and the Cullen's...Well, let's just say they'd probably find it difficult to get it without getting seen or reported by anybody. So I will continue to set the record straight….It was heading into Forks so we decided there was no point in waiting and we'd go and get reinforcements. We headed northwest, trying to get close enough to Nessie's so Edward would hear and then we got to the highway to cross the street and Jake caught Nessie's scent..."
He trailed off; dropping his arm from my shoulder and turning away .
Jake shuddered at my side.
"All we could tell as that she'd taken her car and headed up towards La Push" He carried on where Seth had left off, describing it in a little more detail so that the others were able to see the whole situation from his perspective
"And on the way, there was a place where the scent had gone right along the highway...We couldn't risk it. We couldn't put her in danger and have the chance of her murder being on our hands. So I told Seth that we needed to get back to La Push as fast as we could and beat Renesmee's car...Which turned out to be much simpler than I had thought. We'd only missed her by ten minutes or so...So getting past the car was no problem. We ran along the highway in line with it..."

I had been so engrossed in keeping the bad thoughts at bay, holding myself together that I probably hadn't noticed. If I had been on better alert, I might have seen the thing...It could have run out right in front of me; might have jumped on the back of my car and been there for the entire trip; it could have been up there waiting for me when the car broke down...
"Making sure all the while that there was nothing new round of course." Jake kept going softly.
"We stopped to check something that we thought had come from the thing and Renesmee got the upper hand. Then...I smelt something so beyond disgusting, more like a...A...I can't even describe how disgusting it was. Ugh! It sickened me! It made me want to gag even more than the previous scent had. I wanted to lie down and die"

Surprisingly, I could picture it, I could see Jacob and Seth in the forest, the evil being near; I could feel the pain of wanting to die, the strain from the scent and the desperation to escape. I knew the feeling all too well.
"It was then that I...I saw it! Something, yeah, that's what it was, but it was moving much too fast to be a human or a vampire. Faster than Edward, faster than anything I had ever seen. And it was headed straight for the road..."
I gasped. It had been heading for my car, picked up on my scent and followed it. It hadn't known what I was. Maybe it had abandoned everything to find out. I felt my stomach twist and turn uneasily.
"We sprinted after it, would have had it too. Just a couple more metres and we would have seen it properly then we heard Nessie's scream..."
He turned to me, a look of pain in his beautiful eyes.
"I thought she might have been hurt by it; we had to run and look. But..."
"It was just...Gone." Seth cut in, his voice sounding very far away.
"Probably looked like we'd just casually walked the whole way. We tried to calm ourselves so we wouldn't freak her out."
"And it got away," I concluded disappointedly. Well that really sucked. And it was just too good timing for my car to stuff up and wreck their hunt.
I sighed.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled I reached my arms out to wrap them around his waist, pulling myself against him. I could smell everything on him, the smell of the icy breeze on his hair, the foresty scent of his bare chest; everything welcomed me in. He smiled and patted my back, lifting his hands to stroke my face.
"It's not your fault, you were just heading up to my place, like usual. It was just real crap timing."
"Yeah." I mumbled, smiling weakly.
"If it was an ordinary day, would you have been there, waiting for me?"
"Yeah, of course." He smiled; shaking his head.
"Silly girl. I wouldn't have missed it for the world."
Somebody gagged behind us; Jake sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Grow up, Collin."
Collin snickered, doubling over in laughter
"I would, if you two didn't already seem so perfect for each other."
I rolled my eyes, just like Jake had.

People were constantly making this assumption about Jake and I; the way we hugged all the time and spent nearly every day together on the beach, at his house or mine and I guess I understood how that impression had come across. Jake and I were probably tighter than Superman's spandex… but that was just because he was my best friend, like a brother almost. I felt like there was an unbreakable bond between us that would not end no matter what separated us...But never like that.
Like a little sister to her big brother or something. I had never felt love...Well, at least not in the way Collin thought, never the steamy love only Romeo and Juliet could really express; that was not possible for us. I looked up to him too much. There was no way I could really love him, really feel the need to have me belong to him and for him to belong to me. I wasn't capable of feeling that way about him. I would never.
"No Collin;" I said
"Really. Just grow up. You know that Jake and I are just friends...And that's all we'll ever be."
"Okay. Fine, think that." Collin sniggered
"Keep thinking that way, Drama Queen, and then maybe-just maybe-It'll become a reality."
"You know I don't really care what you think." I answered; Collin nodded, though it was clear on his face that he didn't believe a word of it and he was right. I did care; I didn't want these rumours to get around and for everybody to think they were true when they weren't.
"Oh, I know."
And that was the end of that conversation. I prayed to God that nobody would bring it up again. I didn't have the energy to fight with anybody.

"So go and tell the guys everything." Seth said, running up to wave the guys back into the forest.
"Tell them what happened and to be aware of any signs and if they find anything-No matter how small-Report back to us or the Cullens. Nessie will make sure the Cullens are well informed, right Renesmee?"
"Um...Yeah. I will" I muttered
"Promise." Jake whispered into my hair, I felt my spine tingle as his words made my body freeze over.
"I promise."
His arms remained around my waist; I reached up to wrap mine around his neck and snuggle into his chest, where it was warmer than any other part of him.
"That's all you need to do." He said
"Nothing else."
"I know." I mumbled into his skin.
"I know. I will."
"Good."

Collin opened his mouth as if he was about to say something, but thought better of it and closed it. Behind him, a rip of anger clawed its way from the trees; Jake looked, concerned at where the sound had come from and then at Collin and the wolf.
"So that's all. Are you guys gonna go back to La Push now?"
The midnight wolf growled at him, baring its teeth protectively as if it was defending itself, as if Jake was his enemy.
Collin raised his hand and the animal fell silent.
"Yes. We'll head back to La Push and pass the news on to the pack. I expect we'll meet again later tonight?"
"Of course." Jake replied in an even voice, like he was trying to hold himself together. Collin nodded.
"We'll inform Dwayne and Tom."
Two of the seven new kids that had joined up before our war with the Volturi
"They'll need to be prepared since this is there first time with a proper enemy vampire in the wings."
"I'm sure Jared will make sure Dwayne gets the message." Seth replied
"Then he'll give it to Tom, no problem."
"Yes, we figured that." Leah called, Collin ignored her.
"Kris will call you later on this afternoon, if you don't mind waiting a few hours."
"It's all we have; this thing obviously isn't coming back tonight."
"Yes,"
As they began to turn away, I felt Collin's eyes fall on me, their emotionless stare looking me inside and out. I could not let my eyes meet his, to see the fear and anger behind their blank mask, I was afraid to have that image in my head.

"Sam told me to tell Renesmee not to do anything foolish." Leah's metallic voice shrieked from the trees, pissed and sour, as usual.
"He says to stay close to her family or next to you Jake and do everything that you say…."
"Yes Leah," I called back
"I will, I promise."
"And don't by all means stuff up our hunts and get us all killed you clumsy leech." She hissed harshly
I flinched at her words, and not just because both she and Sam thought so ill of me, but because I hadn't noticed that any other beings were present here, that Sam had ordered them to pack in around the clearing like a firing squad. They had probably heard every word of this conversation.
Doubtlessly the entire pack; Sam was far too paranoid to have a small handful of spectators behind him; the risk of the things' appearance was too high. He had to dress it up, to make it seem like the greatest crisis Forks and La Push had ever faced. But this was nothing compared to what had gone on before I had showed up. At least that's what Jake had told me behind my parents backs.
I tried to remember to breathe.

Jacob shot a look into the darkness, his face changing in a matter of seconds; I took a deep breath. There was a certain feeling that went with his face. I could not describe how much it terrified me; like a murderer and a cleric, sanity and insanity simultaneously, almost like Heaven and Hell were racing around inside him, Hell gaining. I could see the fury boiling inside, as if he was a raging kettle about to explode underneath the pressure of sweltering water.
For the second time today, his hands itched for something to throw at the party opposite us.
"No Jake!" I cried, my arms tightened around him with a force I knew would have really hurt a normal person, but it was nothing in his massive arms. Leah was right no matter how harsh her words had been. Her intention was not to offend me-I hoped-she was simply warning me. Jacob of course had to take it the wrong way, as he always did.
"Let go, Nessie!" He grunted, fumbling against my hold. Still I clung on.
"No I won't." I shot back
"She was just giving me the heads up. Thank you Leah, Sam."
I nodded in the wolf's direction.
"I'll stay out of your way, I promise. I won't try and get it off track with my scent; I'll make sure my family stays out of the forests for a while when they hunt and...I'll do whatever Jake tells me to do."
A snicker of doubt responded.
"Can we have your word on that?" Another, Paul asked. His tone neither furious or friendly, I nodded
"I promise. I'll come up only when one of you calls and when I am with Jake, I won't wander off or drive off without anybody knowing where I'm going. I'll make sure my family's well informed."
"I guess we can be satisfied with that." Collin mumbled, turning towards the trees once again; the wolf echoing his movements this time, his eyes did not move from mine.
"Make sure she keeps out of it, she may be our friend but she can't stuff this up, we can't lose this fight, we can't let it get away."
"Sure, sure." Jake answered, shrugging.
"Who's the Alpha here?"
The wolf wrinkled its muzzle again and in a single instant the fog reached out its clammy fingers and consumed the two.

My mouth dropped open, when would this all become a dream? I pinched my arm, but nothing vanished to the safety of my home, just the empty forest in front of me. I gawked idiotically into the trees, my words turning to nothing. I could feel Seth and Jacob's eyes following mine in silence, none of us wanting to find the courage to pierce the peace with the sound from ours lips. As we stared, realization sunk in.
Something was out there, in the forest. Something sinister, something that we didn't know about, something that could kill. Someone who most likely hadn't met the Volturi and didn't know squat about the rules.I wished I could fall into a dark hole and never reappear.
"It was curious by my scent?" I asked; Jake sighed and nodded
"Yes. We tried everything to get it; but we think it's…Well...Really skilled. Jeez, I haven't seen that kind of nose on a vamp since that huge dude from that evil heap-"
"Felix."
"Yeah, him. This one's as quiet as thin air; you couldn't even hear it as it moved. I've never seen anything like it not since your Mom became a vampire."
Quiet as thin air? Like you couldn't even hear it breathing yet alone moving? That was going to cause problems.

"And it's just like you;" Jake said, smiling lightly down at me, as if I was the only one there even though Seth was just yards away.
"I know that probably sounds strange to you, but it's true. You two are alike. Silent as anything, almost…. Graceful as you move-"
He sounded unsure of his wording
"And so hard to figure out. You can never know for sure what you're going to do next."
I knew that he was crazy. How could that be possible? There was no way I could ever have anything in common with such a mysterious beast, something so beyond anyone's knowledge.
Jake described the things' movements as graceful, like blurring fire; I imagined. I had seen it all before in other vampires, how it captivated you so it was impossible to look away; I felt and saw that every day, in my family.

The way they lived out their lives would fascinate anyone, and surprisingly enough, it intrigued me. How could a band of blood drinkers so beautiful yet able to be so evil come together and bar their deepest desires because of their even more desperate need to be good? Nothing could be more amazing and idolizing than that.
And they weren't even human.

"Thank you." I told him finally, I could think of no other way to put my feelings into words. I couldn't really tell him the truth, how it felt to be compared to a creature like that, unless I wanted to offend. It scared me, knowing what I really could be capable of if I tried.
"That's very...Sweet of you."
He laughed a cautious guffaw, thin and spineless compared to his usual roars of joy and ran a hand through his long hair. I had to laugh along with him.
We knew that this was going to be difficult it was much harder than he made it seem. Just pretending for my sake, so I would not make a big deal when he left with the pack to destroy the problem.
And I was fine with it, let him play his little game with me to keep me calm; I could, would, play along. It was the only way.
"Sure, sure." He whispered under his breath.

"Hey, do you want to head back to my place?" he asked, looking down at me with a concerned look on his face. I was doing a crap job at acting normal, he could see right through me like clear glass. "Your Dad will probably be wondering where you are...Aww crap! He's going to blame me for this isn't he?"
I flashed him a sympathetic smirk and nodded.
"Afraid so, Jake."
"Damn it all!" He cursed. He slapped his fists together "He always blames me. But this time.-"
He heaved a deep sigh.
"I'm going to take full responsibility."
"No." I scoffed in spite of myself
"That's not right Jake. It was nobody's fault, it was just bad timing."
"Yes, but...It is my fault." He whispered. Blaming himself, as always.
" I should have known it'd catch on, that it would get curious. Should kill myself for even thinking-"
"Stop!" I ordered. I brought my finger to his lips, hoping to shut him up, at first his eyes glimmered with a tinge of amusement, but; as he saw my grave expression; it fell to an emotionless line. I moved my arms up to his shoulders; gripping them with all my might so that he had to stare me straight in the eye.
"Now you listen to me Jacob." I instructed
"This was not your fault. This person was curious and nothing else! I was in no danger. So my father can yell at you as much as he wants, but that does not mean I hold you responsible. And I will tell him that."
"But-"
"No, let me finish." I cut him short. I did not have time for his incoming lecture, there was no need for it.
"There is nobody to blame but me. And don't you dare tell me that I am wrong! I left the house at the wrong time and screwed everything up. If I hadn't; well...Let's just say you might have had it. So can we just put this behind us and go back to your place and have some fun? I need it after all the crap that went on in front of me a few seconds ago."
This time, he did not argue with me.

My father drove me through the empty streets with the windows wound up to keep up the rain; I stared into the obscurity that was the windscreen with no interest whatsoever: I was wearing a tight purple jersey and loose khaki pants. I was wearing it as a form of sincere formal clothing.
Forks today was its usual; wet and unsavoury; an almost nice day. It had been -2 degrees this morning and now it was even colder. I wondered if it was possible to get hypothermia in this town. Judging by my father's expression, it was more than possible, if you weren't careful.
We were going home to get my Mom and I was going to drive back to Jacob's so they could go hunting. Through the mist and stormy weather outside, every so often; I caught the scent of humans that burned my nostrils. Even thinking and believing the truth that I was a vegetarian in my mind wasn't enough when I smelled the amazingly addictive smell of human blood. It was like a drug to me; one which I felt obligated to respond to. But, as usual, I was somehow able to ignore the urge to kill,. Maybe it was seeing my Dad's face in the mirror, his eyes scrutinizing me friendly that held me back. I didn't want to destroy all the years of hard work he and Carlisle had put in to be good...Maybe it was just thinking of myself as a bloodthirsty killer, red eyed and murderous; raging and turning on the ones I loved for my own benefit. The taste of human blood was not worth losing that.

Dad was picking through my mind as I was pondering all this, I could tell when he snickered to himself that mixed in my mind right at the back of my thoughts, was Jacob. I wondered for a moment what he was doing at the minute I was thinking of him. Maybe on an extra patrol after what just happened. We drove out of the main street and off the state highway; the forest loomed high above the car. It looked sort of menacing as I imagined a pack of massive half naked Quileute boys running around in the darkness. It didn't really fit, it seemed far too mythical.

Eventually a small driveway poked out of the forest, if I hadn't seen it a million times in my life, I wouldn't have detected any sign of life beneath the vegetation. Dad turned into the driveway his hands moving agilely on the steering wheel. My 8ncle Emmett's Jeep, Aunt Rosalie's BMW, Grandpa's Mercedes and Aunt Alice's yellow Porsche were all gone from the garage. Mom must've been here on her own.

I dumped my bag by the door as I walked in. The entire house was silent, something that didn't happen very often, it was like a grave. My Mom was in the kitchen, her brown hair spilled down her back like a waterfall; she didn't notice me at first, her eyes were glued to the small glass on the countertop, it was a clear wine goblet containing a claret coloured liquid. As I smelled the rich, beautiful scent, it was as if someone had just shoved a scorching branding iron down my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath-It was always this hard drinking blood. She was gazing into the eons of red with fascinating eyes.
"Hey, Mom."
I never called her "Bella" to her face or to anybody else's.
Her eyes flickered from an evil thirst to an innocent sea of yellow as they saw my reflection on the glass wall, she turned to face me, a meek smile about her. She was wearing her usual: a red blouse, black jeans and large plimsolls.
"Hello Renesmee," her voice was scratchy like she was in serious pain; probably because she felt the flames in her throat too; it could be extremely painful when you weren't expecting it. She took one look and me then back to the glass before she pushed her chocolate hair behind her ear and sauntered over to me, her stride as graceful as a deer.

"Dad's ready to go." I mumbled, biting my lip: the corner of my eye quickly twitched to the glass of blood she had abandoned on the table. All I had to do was wait until my parents were gone and the blood was mine. Keep it together I thought to myself, closing my eyes and imagining another planet to focus. Keep it together...
"You guys ready to go?"
My Mind Yoga was interrupted by a cheerful roaring male voice I would recognize anywhere. My second cousin (not by blood-My Dad's adopted sister Alice had adopted him) Jalice Cullen ambled through from the dining room in a too-big red and black hoodie, baggy jeans and grey socks, a sarcastic smile ghosted his face giving his entire posture a positive effect. Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett's adopted daughter Rosalett Cullen-Hale trailed behind him sheepishly. They should have just been finishing their final semester of this year at Harvard. I had known they were staying until it started up again in January, but I hadn't known they'd be coming for at least another three weeks. Of course, since he was always away at Harvard, I hardly saw Jalice; one of my best friends in the world. He pushed passed Aunt Rosalie's old settee and kicked Uncle Emmett's ball down the stairs so he could pass.

"Hey Nessie." he called in a generally cheerful tone, I smirked at him. It was hard not to. Jalice was like a big brother to me, only paler and faster. When I looked to Rosalett for some kind of hello, she meekly nodded. She didn't like me an awful lot.
Jalice ignored her coldness and wrapped me in a particularly tight embrace that made me feel as if I was about to blow up. I hit his rib cage a few times so he pulled away, still wearing a massive grin.
"Jalice!" I was overwhelmed, I could hardly believe it. He was here again, for another two months; it only happened each Christmas so this evidently was a rare event, one to remember "What are you and Rosalett doing here?"
He bit his lip and snickered
"Well, we were gonna stay on for the last week; but I was able to pull a few strings."
Strange. The way he said it made it sound like something serious, not like some five minute job of bribing his professors. I stole a look at Rosalett for some clue, but her face was emotionless, with no kind of sign giving away anything. Oh great.
"Well..."
I reached up on the tip of my toes, since he was that tall and pecked him on the cheek.
"I'm just so glad you're home. Where you belong."

After a few minutes of catching up and updating silly, insignificant memories with our own perspectives-, started heading for the door. Jalice followed, laughing.
"You going to Jacob's to hang out with stinkers?"
He questioned, spinning me around to face them.
"Yeah."
They both grimaced
"Sickening dogs. Just keep in mind that being around werewolves can get dangerous." Jalice curled his tongue around the final word. I raised my eyebrow and turned my torso back towards the door.
"Look Jal. You can either get to the point without insulting people I care about or I can go now."
"No, no. Don't go!" he grabbed my arm as I began to walk away, I looked down at his hand tight on my shoulder then up to his eyes. His hold was far too tight, I guessed I had forgotten that he was a sports player he probably had the power to crush me in two and more. I shook him off like his touch was an open flame, besides the fact that it was the obvious opposite.

By this stage, he was fumbling around in his pocket for something as he spoke, mumbling to himself.
"Dammit! Where is it? I'm sure I put it in here."
"Put in what?' I questioned, he didn't look up, but continued to curse himself.
"Ah-Here it is. A present for getting through to your last semester of High School, despite the fact that you were only at school for a year."
I didn't want to think about it. In his hands he held a long golden chain which was bound together by a diminutive silver clasp; as he placed it in my sweaty palm. I could see the many charms he had attached to it for me. A ballet dress, silver ball; a silver crescent moon, golden sun; a star, a small planet; a silver crown and many others I didn't recognize. I stared at it for a few moments then up at him. I felt a smile spread across my face. To my surprise ,I did love it, I hadn't had something like this before; besides the locket Mom had given me when I was born. I wound it around my wrist and secured the clasp, it was a rather fiddly thing and took three tries but eventually, it clicked into place and moved loosely on my arm.
"It's beautiful Jalice. Thank you."
"It represents each point of your life." He answered, obviously pleased with himself. He fingered the sun charm.
"When you were born."
The ballet dress
"When you tried getting Alice to teach you ballet."

And so it continued. By the time he had finished, I had learned I had something that represented my birth, first ballet dance; religious phase; first sighting of the moon; first look through a telescope; first showing of my gift to somebody, first prom and (one I hadn't received yet. But was going to when it happened) my first kiss. I had shaken my head at that one because I knew I would most likely never receive it. Jalice had had his first kiss; Rosalett had a husband and two kids in California and Jalice's pure blood sister (who lived with us) Alicia...Well, I wasn't too sure about her . But me? I was, as well as the baby of the family, the purest, the virgin! A title I wasn't too particularly thrilled to hold and I didn't plan to keep it up. But for now it was something Jalice teased me about it. I didn't enjoy Jalice's teasing so I couldn't wait for the day of my first kiss. If it came at all that is.

"Thank you Jalice." I said again, trying to stop myself talking but failing.
It's really pretty."
He grinned, pleased with his choice.
"It's the least I can do considering you got me a wicked graduation present."
I couldn't remember that far back so I tried to look as if I had. I took a look at my watch. It was ten thirty: I had to be at Jacob's by eleven. I looked up and kissed Jalice on the cheek.
"Thanks, Jal for the present. I'll love it forever I promise."
I hadn't even finished the sentence by the time I had gotten almost halfway down the stairs. I gripped the banister. Throughout my movements, I heard the rain beginning to hammer on the roof of the house, not really unusual in Forks-But it grated my nerves.

I tried staying under the shelter the upper stories gave to the bottom floor until I couldn't put off the time ticking onto quarter to on my wrist. I tried to shelter my hair with my left hand but it didn't do much; the droplets of water dripped slowly from the grass onto my shoes; they were only cheap from Thriftway so my feet began to feel frosty after a few steps. I felt the crunching of gravel beneath my feet as I walked, briskly now, towards the garage. I yanked the door above my head and slid into the crowded space as the rain turned to solid pieces of hail.

My car sat in the very back nearest Dad's ancient toolbox, with a large cover draped over it to keep everything out. Well, that was surprising, they had worked very fast. I pulled the guard off, bundled it into a ball and placed it on a ledge by one of Emmett's baseball bats. When I got in I realized-much to my annoyance-that the seats were wet thanks to the person who forgot to bring it in here last time. Me.
Stupid idiot! I thought. I couldn't do much about it though apart from put a towel on it-Pull over the roof and turn on the base heater. Once the car was on, I turned to see if Jalice, Mom and Dad were gone, Dad's Volvo and Mom's flash What's-It's-Name? Were gone so I assumed they were. I backed out of the driveway, it was very bumpy, no thanks to the hail and my sunroof bowed under the weight of the balls of hails.

Getting onto the highway from the garage wasn't very easy. I had to hold the roof up so it wouldn't rip. Jalice gave me a hand, holding up the roof and helping me into the driver's seat. I shot him a thankful glance as I slammed the door and a small wave as I backed out of the garage.
The freeway was jammed with traffic when I finally got onto the highway. I guessed from all the tourists trying to get back to their lodgings from La Push before the rain really started to pour. I sighed; slightly avoiding a red Ford and earning a finger from its female driver.

It was half an hour to La Push and with all this traffic; I'd be at least an hour late. The ride was extremely long and hell on the roof, and it didn't help that the jam was so big. I was so relieved when I got out of the main Forks area onto the National Park road, knowing that I was getting closer by the minute, that soon, nothing would stop me from getting to where I needed to go. There were heaps of motorbikes as well, something I was surprised to see. I had to have passed at least twenty before I reached the treaty line; fifty by the time the first houses of La Push passed my window. It must have been one hell of a biking season down here.

The rain was just like sleet when I drove past First Beach, so much so that it was difficult to see through my windscreen, I couldn't see anything whatsoever, so I made sure to drive slowly so I wouldn't hit anything or anyone. That would have sucked. I was relieved when I was able to turn off the main road and head down the much bumpier route to Jacob's that lead south, in the opposite direction of the rain. My view wasn't much better no thanks to the fog, but it was better, at least I could see through the rain.

I finally reached Jacob's house after about ten more minutes of that pain in the butt of a track. The house itself had become rather run down, I had to admit that much as I took a good look at the place, though it wasn't much better than before, just a little house with a lot of section that belonged in the fantasy skies of my childhood. It didn't look as if its residents were particularly wealthy or had the time to clean it up a lot, which was the truth. An ancient boat had been propped up against the wall of the house, a few old children's toys were scattered about the grass unwontedly and an old truck lay on its backside on the grass, its contents and petrol spilling out onto the ground.
"I must tell Jacob to take that in before it rusts." I whispered to myself.

I pulled in under a tall cedar by the driveway but I didn't go in. I slipped my keys under the passenger seat and adjusted the mirror so I could see my own reflection. Looking at myself, it was fairly obvious that I hadn't had much sleep the night before. My face was pale; my bronze hair was fairly knotty and my tight maroon coloured jersey had a large watermark down the front from the rain. I applied some quick foundation to hide one of the worst breakouts on my face and tied my hair back as if not to look stoned or anything.

Jacob was in the garage working on Embry's old cobalt Toyota; his upper body underneath the car. Seth and Jared sat near a small lamp which was sitting on a ledge of the big shelve taking up the back wall, next to a rusting tool box. None of them saw me as I walked in; the two onlookers were too busy shooting completely useless remarks about car parts which I couldn't understand to Jacob, too wrapped up in their own conversation to see me. I wandered aimlessly over to the nearest wall, placed my arms on the windowsill and pulled myself up so I was sitting on it.
"Hi." I murmured in a soft monotone.
All three of them leaped up in shock, what with all the confusion, Jacob must've tried sitting up to see who had greeted him and hit his head because I could hear cursing. Jared had his hand over his heart and was taking in long thoughtful breaths and Seth had turned away completely in fright. When Jared finally calmed down enough to articulate, he spoke in an riled tone:
"Damn you, girl! What'd I tell you about sneaking up on us?"
Seth, who had been lounging on the floor of the garage, leapt from his seat and was now on the other side of the room; Jacob muttered something I couldn't catch, probably something to do with whatever he'd hit on the car.
"Who the hell is it?" He called from under the car, his voice was sniffly like he'd hurt himself.
"It's Nessie. Sneaking up on us again." Jared answered, Jake exhaled annoyed.
"Aww...Jeez. Billy didn't tell me she was coming."
Seth sat on the hood of the car and leant down to see what Jake was working on.
"I heard him. He told you twice." He reminded him; Jared nodded in agreement.
"I heard him too. He came in a minute ago to remind you."
"Well I didn't hear him."
"He pulled Seth and I aside. Sorry. The message slipped my mind."
"I thought you would've remembered Jake." Seth reasoned there was a snort from under the car and Jacob's head appeared from where he'd been working; I noticed he had a primeval skateboard underneath him to support his weight. It wasn't doing him any favours of course, its centre bowed to the ground under his mass. His hair had grown to a massive amount since the last time I'd seen him, it now reached his shoulders, straight black as satin.
"I don't listen to everything the old man says, Seth."
Seth nodded thoughtfully.
"Good point."

Jake got to his knees and wiped his greasy hand on a withered white towel sitting next to some tools by the skateboard. His face looked guilty.
"Hey Renesmee. Sorry I didn't listen and heard you were coming..."
I shook my head and grinned.
"No trouble Jake. Really."
"No, it is trouble for me. If I'd..."
He looked at his stained blue shirt and flushed a little as he continued
"If I'd known I would've been more..."
"Prepared?" I suggested, my eyes dropping to his tools. He sighed and nodded
"Definitely...Or..."
His eyes turned to Seth and Jared
"If my friends weren't out to get me I would've been more prepared."
I looked at Seth and Jared but they stood tall without at all annoyed or ashamed expressions. I guessed they weren't paying attention. Jacob sighed and turned to me-A cheeky grin stretched across his face.
"It's good to see you Nessie."
"Good to see you too Ja-"
Before I'd even finished whatever I'd been saying, he had crossed the room and wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. It wasn't supposed to hurt and I knew that, it was a friendly gesture, but it knocked all the air out of me. I hit him lightly on the arm and gasped
"Can't…breathe…Jake."
He seemed to realize he was hurting me and let me go, expression sheepish
"Whoops. I forgot. Sorry."
I bit my lip and nodded
"S'OK. No blood; no foul."
My words still didn't seem to ease his anxiety; I raised my eyebrow
"You promise?" He asked in a slightly angry tone, I nodded
"Would I keep anything from you?"
He laughed and ran his hands through his hair.
"No. I guess you wouldn't. Just as I would keep nothing from you."
He smiled, turning towards the two suitors.
Seth and Jared stood awkwardly by the door, probably feeling like third wheels what with Jake and I embracing and all. There was a mystic silence I hadn't heard before about us when nobody knows quite what to say or do. It weighed down the air so it felt like a thousand pounds.
Jacob eventually spoke.

"So, when I'm done. Whaddya wanna do huh? Hike? Drive? Hang?"
I stared at him emptily, soon realizing I had not planned ahead and was most definitely not prepared with any helpful ideas. I shrugged my shoulders. All his options didn't seem too bad either; he smiled as he watched me weigh my choices on all sides.
"I hadn't really planned ahead Jake." I admitted, feeling red stain my cheeks. He snickered to himself and mumbled:
"Typical." I wasn't meant to hear it, but he could tell I had. "Don't worry about it Nessie. I've got a few plans anyway."
I nodded and wrapped my arms around him, desperate for another hug, I felt his arms envelope me softly. I could tell he was purposely being careful with me. I heard Jared and Seth cough uncomfortably.
"Oh and you guys are coming to a party tonight." Jared said from where I had completely forgotten him, by Jacob's old toolbox; I whirled around to look at him; I felt a little confused.
"What party?"
He shook his head.
"Kim and I are organizing something."
I sighed, guessed I wasn't really surprised.

Most of the wolves had been generally nice about me tagging along with them every so often, apart from Paul, but he was slowly getting used to the idea...And Leah; but it was pretty obvious she was never going to accept me ever. Most of their spouses were somewhat friendly too I had to add the most because it was unavoidable: people like Claire and Emily, Quil and Sam's wives (or in Claire's case-Girlfriend) were the only females outside my family-who knew the secret too-that I could properly relate to, they were like the sisters I had always wanted only much more understanding.
However people like Jared's wife, Kim, Leah's best friend who trusted Leah better than anyone and followed her lead on everything; loathed me. Kim believed that I was a form of her personal demon out to steal Jared (which of course was not the case) She and Leah also found my clothing and behaviour bizarre and otherworldly, sometimes at friend and family gatherings it was a little hard not to ignore Leah and Kim's harsh words in their gossip sessions when you heard them. The words clawed into your brain and spun around in your mind endlessly; they were just those type of girls. Like the ones at a middle school who's opinions mattered to everybody. In Kim and Leah's world, their views were everybody else's views.

Unlike Kim; Claire and Emily were unshakably loyal. They told me to condone her harsh comments on my appearance and how great they thought it was.
But when I heard Kim's tone when she said my name and the comment she shot at me, it was impossible to follow their advice
It was like having a drug pusher in my face when I was trying to get over a fixation of cocaine; like a bunch of yobbos making fun of a great performance I was putting on.
I had never been into drugs or been in any performance but her insults made me feel as if I had experienced both of them simultaneously as well as being stabbed in the back. She didn't like me, she never had, so she would not like me being around her yet alone coming for a party.
I just wasn't sure how I could explain all this to them in a matter of one sentence.

"Where is it?" I asked, Jared puckered his lips and shook his head.
"Jake's gonna drive you so you don't need to worry about it."
"When is it?" Jacob asked him, Jared rolled his eyes at his impatience
"Six"
If Jake was going to drive me it was probably a small get together, Kim might not even be there. I could feel inner serenity already returning, some hope though. If she was organizing it, then of course she was going to be there.
I really wasn't looking forward to tonight.

Jake ended up coming to the conclusion that Embry's truck could stand to wait for a day or so and abandoned it to change. Jared and Seth melted away quickly, with lies about party preparations I saw right through, leaving me alone. I dropped to my knees and picked up a small screw and bounced it on my palm. It seemed ridiculous that something so small and insignificant could take someone's life if it was installed incorrectly, so farfetched and strange. It was almost like holding an entire existence in my hands. I threw it in his tool box as I heard footfalls on the gravel; Jake pushed through the door and began picking up all his stuff from his job; he wiped his hands on the towel a countless amount of times. I tried putting away a few foreign tools but I didn't think I'd be much help in knowing where everything went so I sat on the ledge; gazing out the window. The rain still hadn't stopped; it had gotten harder I think because I couldn't see anything outside at all. It hammered on the roof and scraped my thoughts like nails clawing at paint; time dripped away with every raindrop...

"Nessie you ready to go?"
I opened my eyes and shook my head and soul back to reality. How long had passed? Surely no more than a few seconds...Minutes? He couldn't be finished could he? When I turned to face him, he wore a pert smile which made his whole face look much more welcoming. I rolled my eyes, pleased yet annoyed that it had been him that woke me up and not Billy and his eyes sparkled back, the way the only were when he was in the best mood. As I took a closer look, I noticed everything I had just been pondering over a few minutes ago was packed away and he was wearing an new outfit-tight black shirt with short sleeves and black jeans. A typical Jacob look. Had that much time passed?
"Impossible." I whispered , I had heard nothing in my subconscious state, how was this possible.
"What?" He asked
"There's no way you could have cleaned up that fast."
He snorted and stretched his arms out forward, something he only did when it was just us or he was particularly proud of himself.
"Please. I'm not that much of a superhero. You've been out for about twenty minutes."
Twenty minutes?
"Great." I sighed, immediately standing up from where I had been standing.
"Now I really feel stupid."
He grinned.
"No, I thought it was cute."
I raised my eyebrow at him,
"You thought I was cute?"
"Sure." He shrugged and turned back to Embry's truck, which I suddenly noticed he was trying to disassemble. I wasn't sure if the move was meant literally, or if he just didn't want to meet my gaze when he said the second part:
"I think you're always cute. I think you're beautiful."

I felt my cheeks stain scarlet when he said that, although I knew in my heart that he had not really meant it in the romantically sense, just like a brother saying it to his little sister after her ballet recital or something like that. A kind, platonic compliment.
Still, my self-assurance couldn't shake off the sensual chill his words brought to my body. One I couldn't understand and didn't really like. I needed to get a hold of myself before I started to entertain my own inappropriate ideas. But when I was with Jacob, it was so hard. He was so, so beautiful and kind, with all the qualities I had always desired. Why not?
"Well...Thank you, I guess." I sighed, trying to push the chill into the inappropriate drawer in my mind for later. I'd channel it when I was ready. When I felt I needed to.

He worked a while longer Embry's car, telling me we could still go out, if we decided, because we had heaps of extra time. I didn't have a watch or a cellphone, so I just took his word for it.
"How long are you going to be exactly?" I questioned from the hood of the car as he took a large tool I couldn't name from his box and started dismantling the engine.
"I mean, are we going to be here for another ten minutes or should I just crash now?"
"Oooh...I'd say twenty tops." He told me, a certain limit, not a random estimation. I sighed
"Oh great, how I love to watch you work on cars."
He snorted.
"Funny. Now sit down and let me work."
I knew that really was a demand to get the Hell of the bumper, so I obeyed without too much pressure. I found the most comfortable seat in the Rabbit and settled down to watch him do his job.
"Before I start." He whispered after about two minutes, he felt around in his pocket and pulled out a small plastic bag that he chucked at me. Before it could land, I caught it and spun it around to see what was inside. The packet was distinctly familiar, sherbet balls.
"Thanks." I laughed
"My favourite. You remembered."
I took a couple from the bag and threw it back, expecting it to land in the dirt at the foot of the front wheel of the truck. Stupid of me to think so little of a werewolf. He somehow caught it.
"How do you do that?" I questioned, shaking my head as I stared at the bag in his hands. He stared back with a victorious expression on his face.
"What?"
"Amaze me."
He laughed.
"I always do. You just noticed it now."
I nodded and blushed to myself.

"So...I was thinking we should go to Port Angeles for a day trip." He chatted away as he continued to work, moving the wrench in his hands in a circular motion, signs of massive effort on his soft, youthful face.
"Yeah." I replied, clicking my tongue. It didn't seem like a bad idea.
"What's the time."
"Eleven." He barked back immediately, not even bothering to check his watch.
"You sure?" I asked, as per usual, questioning his judgement. Something someone in the know should never do, unless they want to look like an idiot.
"Yup." Nodding, he finally retrieved the piece he had been aiming to.
"It takes an hour to get there, an hour back...Leaves us with six hours."
I bit my lip and shook my head.
"Maybe you should spend a bit longer here."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means I think thats a bit too much time. What are we going to do?"
He snorted
"Go out. Movies, lunch, what have you? Come on Nessie, you're a girl, surely you'll have a couple of plans."

* * *
"So what's good in that burg?" I asked with genuine interest. Jacob smiled, I could tell this was a subject he wanted to discuss, rather than the overused weather conversation that had been the prior topic. I couldn't agree more, that kind of subject matter was the type romantic movies used for the first conversation and that made it extremely awkward.
"There's a really awesome ghosts movie on that Embry told me about." He said keenly. I stuck my tongue out and shook my head.
"I hate ghosts."
"You sure?"
"Positive."
"I'm not sure you're the best judge of movies, Renesmee."
I sighed and rolled my eyes. I wasn't going to win this argument.
"Okay, I admit it. I'm not."
We drove in his ancient red Rabbit towards crescent lake with the music playing lightly in the background. I was staring out the window so I hadn't heard him. I turned to him like I'd just awoken from a particularly long sleep and stretched.
"Sorry…What did you say?"
"Embry said there's an awesome ghost movie on at the cinemas. Seth said that the newspaper gave it really good reviews."
I raised my eyebrow.
"Jake...I don't know if I want to see another horror."
He smiled, and moved one hand from the steering wheel to root around his jean pocket for a moment.
"I have a bit of money. If you don't like it. We'll just leave; kay?"
I wasn't too sure how to answer him. My lips seemed cracked, a thousand years old.

The greenness of the environment became blurred as he sped up the car. I could only just make out the turn off to crescent lake as we flew past, the different cars moving past us and the Route signs that were littered down the highway. I had to smile at that, it was like we were flying, if it was not for the fact that it was wheels pulling us down the street, over a beautiful green planet. A planet that cleverly concealed all its monsters in the darkness and gave everybody the delusion that it was completely safe to roam the land freely. Huh, that was something that some poor idiot was going to learn the hard way when they wanted to hunt or go hiking.

"Gah!" I shuddered away from the thought and looked away from the outside world to the speedometer. To my shock, I realised that Jacob was burning up one ninety; my heart accelerated.
"Holy crow Jake, slow down! You'll kill us!"
He snickered and dropped his gaze to where I pointed. I stared incredulously.
"Are you high or something? Slow down for heaven's sake!"
"You humans and your paranoid ways" he replied in a joking tone, but I saw no humour in it. I narrowed my eyes at him and crossed my arms in annoyance.
"Jacob Black, slow this car down right now or you can let me out. My grandpa's a cop you know."
He laughed again with even more fun in his voice than before.
"Really Nessie? Relax. Going a few ks over the limit isn't going to kill us. And Charlie isn't going to catch me; cops don't hang out here." Chuckling once more, he gave me a good look in the eye, saw the seriousness and his foot slowly inched off the accelerator.
"Thank you" I cited. He just snorted in response.

We eventually got to Port Angeles. I had slept most of the way so I was groggy when I opened my eyes and the surroundings were foreign. Of course, he completely ignored this and pulled me out of the car without a faltering. I followed him a sluggish feel to my step into the theatre, trying not to make a big scene because I had no idea what we were going to see and I probably wasn't going to enjoy it too much if Jacob went with his usual choice of a bloody, gun filled action. The theatre was almost exactly the same as I remembered it, very dark, with burgundy coloured floors and plush seats by the small television I knew played different trailers every half hour. The same clean linen smell I always associated with the theatre was in the air, but it still didn't make me feel any more comfortable being here with Jacob. What if some of the wolf pack were here? We'd never live down the dating rumours if they caught sight of us together.

Jacob didn't waste time looking at the film displays hanging from the wall like most of the people here; he just briskly pulled me over to the ticket desk and pulled his wallet out of his jeans for quick and easy pay. The girl monitoring the desk-who I quickly recognised as Mom's high school friends, Angela's younger cousin Danielle from my graduate class back at high school-stared up at us, her face looking like she was expecting the same average sight of a pair wanting a ticket to some sappy comedy and just gazed up at Jacob's massive figure as he stood over her with a calm mien on his perfect face. She dropped her eyes to where his massive hands gripped the desk, the tendons straining as he stared at the board behind her for the best possible film and smiled. I didn't get to have a look at the films myself, I was a little afraid of what I might find.

"Ticket sir?" Danielle muttered finally, her voice was just like I remembered it, quiet but irritatingly high pitched, like a five year old girl. The sound of all the girls of my high school days. I winced.
"That one." Jake gestured to a vaguely familiar poster to the south end of the advertisements. Danielle looked doubtful as she began to print the ticket; constantly lifting her gaze to meet his, before dropping it back to the tiny compute screen in front of her. I could tell she was smitten by him, just by looking in her eyes, I guess I understood that. It was hard not to be charmed by Jake, even if he treated you like crap. Even random girls who'd never met him stopped and stared when he walked by. I wished I could be like that, but I knew with my face, it wasn't a possibility.
"Hurry up!" He slid two twenties across the counter. "Keep the change." He snapped. She gave us our tickets without the hassle of our ages and quickly waved us away so the next couple could get their admission. Personally, I didn't get it, until I stole a look at the ticket in my hands to see the movie Jake had chosen.
"Bleeding Saw 5?"
Jacob looked bemusedly down at his ticket
"Yeah, I got the one all the papers are saying is the best. Is there a problem?"
Yes.
"No I guess not." I said finally.

I would have gotten some refreshments, but then again, we barely had enough time to get into the theatre, yet alone get in the massive queue at the candy bar so I didn't really bother. Jake promised to get me some, so he snuck around the back to where one of his friends worked to get us some popcorn faster. I didn't want to make him late when he returned, I reluctantly followed him into the now dark upstairs theatre. Usually, popular horror franchises are completely packed with horror geeks, but I was surprised to find that this particular sitting was very empty, probably on account of the film being out for over three weeks.

A Goth couple was sitting with their heads close together further up the back, but their presence wasn't at all intimidating. As a matter of fact, they seemed very kind, they smiled and waved as we passed and introduced themselves as Rayan and Tasmine. The young lady, Tasmine, leant away from her date and complimented my maroon jersey, saying it was very "in these days" I smiled and thanked her for her kindness, but I still kept in mind that the shirt was a hand me down from my mother's teen years. I quickly introduced myself (while, at the same time, trying to ignore her dates snicker at my first name) and followed Jacob down the middle aisle. He'd already taken a seat on the very west end towards the front that he'd picked at random so I slipped in beside him.

Looking around, I saw that I didn't mix with these sorts of people. Rayan and Tasmine were very lovely, but the mob of teenage boys only a little younger than me in Iron Maiden shirts and skinny jeans that took up all the front seats were more than just a little intimidating. They looked like the type of hooligans that annoy everybody in the theatre with their loud, obnoxious talking. The sort of people I wanted to hit in the face when they got too irritating or started flirting with the girls behind them. Still, I tried my best to ignore them and settled down into my seat for the movie. I was all prepared to just sit and stare blankly at the screen without much interest, maybe I needed to just ready myself for falling asleep.

It was just the type of movie Jake would like, by the time the opening credits had ended, three people had strapped themselves to a suicide bomb and blown up an entire mall, killed two others and thrown themselves from a moving car. There was no blood but a lot of screaming and deaths, which was pretty low considering the other films I had seen. I just stared down at my knees, waiting for the sound of rushing blood. All I heard was general speech, screaming and Jake's laughing. When I looked up again, I saw a woman who reminded me a little of Aunt Rosalie; with a pretty figure and golden hair. She was running from a sound she had heard holding two children, a frightened look in her big blue eyes. There was a sound as somebody smashed things to the floor far above them and somebody moaning maniacally; Jacob, who still hadn't fallen asleep, was snickering to himself as the woman screamed when discovering she was dead. I personally didn't get it until he spat popcorn all over my lap in laughter when the woman sat in the corner of the room talking to her children. I sighed and brushed the saliva and chewed bits of corn onto the floor. He snickered again and shoved his hand into the popcorn bucket; I heard him mumble:
"Sorry Ness." very quietly so that the worker on guard wouldn't kick him out. I rolled my eyes; as if that was going to make up for it.
"Shut up, Jake."
He made the act as if pulling his lips up like a zip; I clicked my tongue. Typical.

BOOK TWO, ISABELLA CULLEN
Answer

I CAN REMEMBER A TIME WHEN I FELT THAT I COULD
never belong anywhere. Back when I was nothing but a fragile human, ignorant of the beauty of the vampire world, where I had been a real freak of nature, someone who would never find true happiness. I can remember when I used to feel as if I didn't have true love out there and that I would never have children; I would never really feel the proper sense of family; of proper maternity. But that was a time when my life was turned on its head.

Ever since I had married Edward, my archangel; everything had changed. He had opened me up to a love that was so perfect, no human could ever express or experience it. It was beautiful, nice, understanding and flawless and on the very very rare occasion, sexy and scary. So when I had been pregnant with his child; I had refused to give her up. Experiencing a love so perfect had taught me a few things about what to protect and defend that was my own after all. I had never wanted a child, but she was his, something that I found was essential to my existence when she was suddenly and unexpectedly conceived. I found that I was willing to lay down my life to let her breathe and see the light and anything else that stood in my way of letting her live.

Nobody else was on my side, in a time where I needed them to be more than ever. I was told she was ripping me from the inside out and there was not a chance in Hell that I would survive. They tried to kill her and told me to just listen to them and allow it to happen if I valued what little life I had left because of her conception. But I wouldn't listen. I loved my little baby so much, too much to let them even think about laying a hand on her before she could live. She meant everything to me and I could feel with every kick that came from her tiny feet against my womb that she needed me and that was all I cared about.

I knew how much they feared I would die, how it would destroy them, but I knew they were wrong. So ridiculously wrong, it was laughable. And they were underestimating me. I had loved a vampire for two years and survived everything the supernatural world had thrown at me…There was no way on this Earth that I wasn't strong enough to survive my daughter. . I built up enough strength that I could only just survive her, hanging on the fringes of life; letting her take was she needed from me while I could. With every last piece of love and strength in me, I found I was able to hold her inside of me and love her from the inside out. They called her 'the foetus' and almost raged when I spoke of her as my 'pretty baby' They whispered of how they would handle the delivery while I cooed to her, stroking my belly and telling her that I loved her more than anything and that it didn't matter what happened because we would be okay and I would protect her at all costs.
"I will not let them hurt you." I guaranteed her.
"I promise, my sweetheart."

Too well, I can recall the moment where everything had changed forever. That small moment where everything had gotten the better of me and I found that I could no longer hold her inside of me anymore. The darkness fell over my eyes and the burning began its long and gruelling course through me.

So slow, was the fire; like it was an insignificant flame compared to the massive blaze that was coming. I couldn't scream, I couldn't put my pain into a sentence in my mouth. My senses were nothing more than the fiery burn inside of me as I tried to twist and turn in nothing. My lungs gave out and I could only hear one small word:
"Renesmee." Edward's voice had been saturated with surprise, like I was sure mine could be if I was able to speak. With a sudden gush of air; everything had seemed so...Perfect and, despite the searing pain, I had willed my lips to move.
"Give her to me." I was right, my voice was just as shocked as his had been.

There had been a moment of noiseless deliberation and then, I could feel something warm and bloody in my arms, I gazed down and I had seen her. So beautiful and perfect, wet and bloody with a thick mat of brown curls and milky irises, the colour of an angels. Salty tears escaped from my lids, dribbling slowly down my cheek, off my chin and onto her little head.
"Renesmee." I'd choked out.
"So-"
Was there even a word for her?
I could think of only one.
"Beautiful."

And not a day went by did I regret her. I never let myself wish I had gone back on the decision I had made to keep her. From the moment I had first held her, I had known that she had been worth every broken bone, every tear; every pain she had brought to me. She was too perfect to be worth anything less. She was worth everything in this world, if not more. She was my daughter, my perfect, sweet darling. So it didn't matter that my best friend, Jacob had...Imprinted on her (although I had been rather pissed about that in the beginning) and it didn't matter that she aged faster than any other normal child; that she could show everybody what she was thinking; the opposite of Edward and mine's talents. That she was just like me in her fashion taste and just like Edward in every other. All that mattered to me was the fact that she was here, safe and happy and I could not think of any group of people that could be more perfect for her to grow up and share her life with than the family and friends we had. Our family, the wolves, my father, Charlie and his wife, Sue. What life could be better?

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, hours, minutes, seconds, days, months, years, it didn't matter to me. I could have stayed here forever; my lips moving in perfect synchronisation with the most beautiful angel anyone could hope to find; and it wouldn't have even bothered me. His fingers ran along my shoulder blade; tracing patterns down my spine while my hands tightened in his bronze hair; breath coming out in short gasps. I couldn't think of a more perfect way for me to spend my time than kissing Edward; than wanting him every second of my existence. What could be better than that? Than kissing a vampire? I didn't even need to think on that to know the answer

His lips moulded around the shape of my neck; kissing me passionately as his hands pushed against my hips almost as if he was trying to crush me and groaning slightly when he found he couldn't. I snickered and pushed him onto the covers so he was beneath me; he laughed.
"Trying to seduce your husband isn't a very good look."
I rolled my eyes and pressed my hands onto his pectorals, pushing him.
"If we're technically speaking." I whispered.
"It's not seduction if the man wants it."I had to take another breath before I continued "So do you want me?"
He raised his eyebrow. Slowly, he reached up to stroke my dark hair, exhaling slowly as it blew past his nose, like he was inhaling a heavenly scent. As I looked closely, I could see his eyes were touched with light amusement.
"I have not and will never want someone as much as I want you, Bella." He vowed into a strand of my hair. I bit my lip and nodded in agreement.
"And I have never loved and will never love anybody as much as I love you...And I want you." I told him and I knew it was the truth. I had never been more certain.

I had to admit that that was not really what I wanted to say to him. I wanted to throw myself at him and tell him things more gooey than anybody was probably capable of, but I could not, even the soppiest words could not even begin to describe the love I felt towards him.
"I want you more than anything in the universe." Laughing, he shook his head.
"Sometimes I can't believe I am here with you."
"What do you mean?" I questioned, raising my eyebrow at his words.
"Well, it's just sometimes I think...What is an angel like you doing with someone like me?"
"Likewise." I shot back quickly
"And loving you, that's what."
"Yes I suppose so." He replied in a deep voice.
"Forever." I promised.
I grinned, in spite of myself because no matter how far-fetched that might have sounded coming from a human's mouth; it was perfect from mine because we had forever and possibly longer.
"Forever" He agreed, kissing my hair.

I found that it was so easy to kiss him now that I realized that he had been holding back. The difference was just so obvious, now his hands ran all over me, like he could not believe I was in his arms now. I was the same way; it seemed to me that there was just so...So much I was holding, much too good for someone like me. Beyond a god, beyond an angel, he was simply indescribable. I could feel the fabric of my clothing slipping down my body to the floor, which probably would have bothered me on every other day considering walls were made entirely of glass, but to be honest; the fact that he wanted to see me this way was too astonishing for me to think of anything else. I watched my hands move down his shirt, tearing the buttons out of the way to reveal the smooth planes of his chest; I then got to his jeans, yanking the waist down to his knees so I wouldn't have to bother with the stupid zippers. I could see how our smiles mirrored each other, as if we matched; corresponding pieces as we fit together, I could almost hear the thumping of my dead heart; racing at the speed of light; like he was bringing me to life. His every touch to my bare skin now was like fire as he pulled my face towards his; him pulling, me pushing, so we fell into a heap onto the bed.

I snuggled into his chest, burrowing down into the warmth where I knew he would hold me. He stroked my hair slowly; gazing into my eyes, almost as utterly astonished as I was.
"Bella."
Cold and beautiful, his breath washed over my face; I closed my eyes and nodded.
"Mmm?"
"C-Can I hold you?"
"You know you can." I whispered, I reached out and wrapped my hand around his free one; now they intertwined, matching in their own way, an unbreakable hold.
"Beautiful." Edward hummed into my ear in a soft monotone.
I bit my lip and kissed the pale skin of his neck; though I could feel my entire body shaking as I so much as moved. It didn't take much for me to figure out I was nervous; but I didn't really care.
"Stunning." I responded, but this was the wrong word-Far too unsightly to go with someone as beyond words as Edward was. "But even that doesn't describe it."
I heard him sigh, probably exasperated at my assessment.

"Edward?"
"Yes love?"
"Could you-"
I knew what I wanted him to do, but I couldn't find the right words for it.
"Could you...Hold me tighter?"
"Tighter?"
"Yes." I said, kissing his neck again.
He nodded.
"Anything for you, Bella love."
I followed his eyes with what I hoped was an encouraging expression, it must have worked because he was able to move his hand from mine to rest it on my face. We breathed in and out together. After a long moment of our shallow breathing and holding each other, I let my legs break free of the stranglehold they had on his and reached for my clothes again. Aware of the eyes that followed me, I yanked the delicate sleeves over my arms impatiently; not wanting my clothing change to take any longer than necessary. I smoothed the creases that ran down the chest of the dress and pulled the belt at the waist tight.
Edward watched me without even a sound or movement of the still air; I couldn't even hear his breathing now, soft and easy in the atmosphere, almost like he was holding his breath. When I finished; I whirled to face him again, my gaze fell on his glassy topaz eyes, sparkling with excitement and admiration. For a quarter of a second, his stare reminded me of a distant memory from my past life; back when his departure that September temporarily ended my existence.

Nobody could have made me feel the way Edward had. Thankful, exhilarated and beautiful. If I was human now, I knew that my cheeks would be blooming roses. He chuckled
"What is it?" I asked in flat tone, totally uninterested. Edward rolled his eyes
"Emmett." He clarified before doubling over as another wave of laughter shook hi . I raised my eyebrow. Emmett, my teasing brother in law, found mine and Edward's inability to control our temptations downright hilarious. It didn't matter to him that he and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice, had all the same way; Carlisle and Esme, every other vampire couple in the history of the universe. But he really just wanted to get on my nerves.
"God." I said
"Who knows what he's going to make of this?"

I stole a look towards the far west window where an uproar of laughter had begun; from down on the lawn.
"Give me a minute," I pleaded, I stood on the very tips of my toes so I could quickly kiss him again; he nodded as our lips touched for that one moment, then snickered again.
"What are you planning?"
"You'll see," I promised. "Can you show me now?"
The question stopped me. I was the only one prone to Edward's ability to read minds unless I let my shield down and let him in. I had been practising as much as I could with Kate from the Denali coven, when she and her family saw it fit to visit as well as every spare moment with Edward, but Kate had told me that I needed a little more practise before I worked it into my everyday life. She was right, of course; I still found it incredibly difficult; but over the past three years or so, my shield had become a natural extension of me; I barely had to think about it unless I needed to.
"I'll try." I murmured, quickly placing my left hand in his. When I looked into his eyes, I could see no impatience, just the beautiful soft kindness that he always showed towards me when I got anxious like this.
"I can't make any promises though" I warned, he nodded
"I can wait as long as you want, love. Whenever you're ready."

I gripped his hand tighter and closed my eyes. Concentration was the only way this was going to work so I needed to be utterly headstrong, completely focussed. Feeling the edges of the shield twitch and stretch as I pushed it further away from us; I squeezed my eyes so they were firmly closed and shoved it completely from my thoughts, thinking only of his beauty, his angel like qualities as I did so.
Under my hand, I felt his entire body shiver, being shocked with a wave of electricity and then he exhaled
"Ah." He almost sung "I see."
I willed my eyes to open and looked up at him.
"May I?"
"Of course." Edward's eyes motioned to the window. "It might get on his nerves, but go ahead."
I smirked in the direction of the glass. It was so tempting to get Emmett annoyed right now; I could almost taste the joy it would bring if he was humiliated.

With a spring in my step, I dragged Edward over to the windowpane, slamming the little catches open and nearly smashing the glass in my haste to get it open. I heard him guffaw as I stuck my head out the window, searching the grass far below for him.
I didn't have to look far; the uncontrolled giggling fit that had alerted me earlier drifted from the fringes of the trees. So much for the element of surprise then. I grimaced and shook my head, realizing; much to my dismay and embarrassment; that Emmett, our entire family and any other members of the audience that he had managed to find in such a short space of time, had just seen and heard everything through the window. Another wave of sniggers danced across the lawn; I wasn't pleased; I wasn't laughing. I was unbelievably furious.

"Emmett!" I screeched at the top of my voice, as I tried to get half of a sane sentence out of my mouth, I balanced on the windowsill; ready to duck out of the window onto the grass and have my revenge. I was about to ask if Edward would come, but behind me, his titter floated to my ears. I grimaced again
"Emmett! I am not happy with you."
I leapt off the window, with probably more force than necessary, but it didn't matter; I still landed without a speck of difficulty; a single sound. I narrowed my eyes in the direction of the continuous snickers; feeling my feet moving as if they had nothing on this ground, towards it.

I should have known that Emmett would take advantage of the situation, of the fact that Edward and I had requested only an hour to ourselves while they went out to bag some deer. He would've gotten suspicious and decided to be as nosey as Hell and head back to 'check on us'. I couldn't believe I had been idiotic enough to ever have thought he would actually leave us be; on the one day we had actually voiced to have privacy. Despite his best efforts, he would not have been able to resist knowing that this was what we were going to be up to. It was just so typical. So Emmett.

Still, no sound came from them as I tore through the pines; screaming for him to come out and face me. I could hardly blame him really; I probably seemed like a monster right now.
"Well, come on!" I roared into the bottle green shade of the forest, I didn't see the need to control my voice. I was so furious; I could have ripped the entire woods from their roots with a simple scream. "Come out." I yelled again, navigating blindly through the trees; I knew Emmett well enough to know that he'd be hiding out and he wouldn't be too hard to find." If you're so proud of being the official intruder of my sex life" I bounded effortlessly across the river; eyes still combing every visible thing around me. "Don't bother hiding. You're just going to get into more trouble later, come out now, so I can kick your butt."
I could feel the playful anger boiling up inside of me, like an overflowing kettle, I would soon explode under its pressure.

Now, somebody called my name; a stunning and heavenly voice, the only sound I could ever think to respond to at this point. Edward. He skidded to a stop beside me and threw his arm over my shoulders; I could tell by the way he moved that he was being careful-Extremely careful-Not to set me off.
"Bella."
His voice was shaky as he wrapped his other arm around my waist; so very cautious; more careful by the second. "Bella, love; calm down. Jasper and Carlisle have taken Emmett away until he gets a hold of himself."
All I could feel were his warm arms and the impossible quivering of my body as the anger jolted through me like electricity. With a sudden roll of comprehension, I saw that I was making a fool of myself. I sighed; taking in my surroundings. Edward stood a few hundred yards away from me now; arms up like he was begging for mercy; his face was careful, cautious.

"Sweetheart?'
"I-I'm fine." I muttered to myself rather than him
"I just...He makes me so mad."
"I know." He replied, he crossed the space between us and yanked me into his arms, so warm; I burrowed into his chest. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have found that humorous, damn me."
"No don't say that." I said, I ran my hands through his hair so it gleamed whenever it caught the light, like a gold medal, my prize. "It was all me. It has nothing to do with you. Don't blame yourself."
"Mmmm."

His lips were on my hair now, saturating a few strands with his delicious breath. I squeeze my eyes shut; I never wanted this moment to end, it could've stretched on forever and ever and I wouldn't have minded. All I knew was that I wanted him; more than I had ever needed anything, like a human needed air to breathe. He was movement of his mouth interrupted my sudden reverie. Slowly, they ghosted down my face, across my cheeks to my ear, when he whispered, his voice flowed like velvet honey.
"Let's go."
"Huh?"
"Away from here, to the meadow." He clarified.
I gazed out towards the trees; feeling my breath accelerate to hyperventilation.
Our meadow? We hadn't been there in so long. Lately the days had passed like so fast, leaving us no time to ourselves, but I had never imagined that we had left our beautiful glade for so...So long. I felt, the impossible throb of pain from deep in my chest, needing to return to that place.. I nodded as he kissed behind my ear.
"Yes, our meadow."
He sighed and shook his head
"So beautiful."

Suddenly, I felt my legs give out from beneath me and the touch of his warm skin as he swept me off my feet. I wrapped my arms around his neck and nestled into the warm blue fabric of his shirt. His lips at my ear, he whispered.
"Close your eyes love." I obeyed; giggling with the stupidness of it all, as he sprinted headlong for the trees.

The sun had fallen into the trap of the pines when we returned to the house; though something about the way Edward moved made me sense that something was up. I remembered staring into his eyes back at the meadow; marvelling over his beauty as I did so; I recalled that there had been a moment when his returning gaze was triumphant as always, but then the howl of a wolf had risen around us like an alarm and his face had begun to drain of all emotion until it got to a point when he looked as if he was trying too hard to hide something; holding a too inconspicuous mask over his face. I wanted to ask him what was wrong; but as we emerged from the trees to the completely barren cottage that seemed too silent, I figured it was probably best I didn't know now. Alice would tell me what she'd seen.
He leaped agilely over the picket fence and crossed the grass to the door in quarter of a second, with me watching in disbelief, he leapt seventeen feet into the air and caught himself in a tall spruce looming over the house. With a quick arch of his back, he vanished into the leaves. I shook my head.
"Honestly!" I screamed at the top of my voice so whoever he was going to see could also hear.
"What is this? Why do you always have to be so...So secretive?'
No response came from the tree.
I sighed and meandered up the path to the little wooden door. I would not let this get to me; Edward was probably bottling this up for my benefit. I knew that I generally flipped out at the most severe changes-Or maybe cross over to the dark side was a better word-I would stamp my feet and scream like a child, demanding that we fix the problem and put things back to the way they were before things got out of hand. Maybe he and the others whispering conspicuously out of earshot was a good thing, maybe they were just protecting themselves from the onslaught of my tantrum.
I was surprised to find that I took a small pride in that, in knowing that they feared me and considered my reaction to whatever this issue was. It was sort of comforting to know that I would not be the first to find out this thing they were obsessing over was if there was a chance they could fix it first. That-doubled on the fact that I had no patience to put up with Edward when he was in this mood-kept me from leaping up after him and heading inside.

I looked around the front room; the massive, long longue I had seen over a hundred times before and briefly wondered what I was going to do now. I had no appetite and there was no need to prepare dinner for my daughter so I felt no urge to head towards the kitchen and I couldn't go up to my room alone. The bed would be far too big, too lonely without Edward in it and I worried that I might start crying out for him or at least get up onto the roof and start searching and I didn't want that.
Abruptly, I caught sight of my long lost copy of Jane Eyre lying battered and brokenon the carpet in front of the mantelpiece; I wasn't stupid enough to think that wasn't weird. It had been missing for at least three months now and I was sure I had searched this place up and down without success-Maybe Edward had found it earlier and left it there or Nessie had been reading it and forget to tell me, whatever; I didn't dwell on whatever excuses they had. I got down on my knees and took it between my hands; dust had gathered across the cover with the time it must've spent hidden away somewhere; old cobwebs wove like an angels oblivion across the page; I broke through the ties they bound effortlessly, like I was breaking a ties the angel held to life on earth. I had no patience to listen to the overwhelming silence around me. I flipped to chapter thirteen and tried to immerse myself in the world of orphans, unfairness and dangerous attractions while the quiet dragged on.

I was up to the moment where Jane moves on to Thornton when I heard a rap at the door, I almost jumped-a reflex more than it was fear-my book fell out of my hands and landed with a thunk on the floor. I bit my lip; that's what I got from reading in deathly quiet.
"Who is it?" I called, my voice raising a few octaves higher than probably necessary, there was a moment of forethought outside before an uncertain voice mumbled.
"Its me."
It was a voice I distinctly recognized as a male; although I was not one hundred percent sure whose it was, I could not put a face to it.
"And whose me?"
"Umm...Jalice?"
"Ahh."
Of course.

After my daughter Renesmee had been born, Alice funny enough, developed a need for a child. We had all thought this was absolutely ridiculous; Rosalie had been the one who had always had a desperate need for a daughter or son of her own, but Alice? That was new. She had driven Jasper to Port Angeles-,uch to his dismay-to talk to adoption agencies and orphanages. I missed out on a lot of computer time thanks to her obsessional drive researching children related to her in other orphanages around America but in my deepest imaginings I had not began to fathom her reason until she came home excited one afternoon and announced that she had adopted her nieces' daughters orphaned twins from the city of Victoria. Suffice to say I was shocked, we were all shocked, but I could see how adopting the children would be her wish; she had gotten off track with her sister, Cynthia and forgotten everything else about her family so I assumed that she thought it was best that she take them when their mother could no longer care for them, the least she could do after unintentionally abandoning him.

Jackie and Lieanna had arrived at the age of eleven, both confused by the loss of their mother and excited about their new life. They took their new names Jalice (A mix of Jasper and Alice) and Alicia (named after Alice) and brought the truth about vampires when they were old enough to understand, thanks to Renesmee's rapid aging. They understood and forgave Alice for what she had done and were looking forward to becoming vampires in the next few months now they were both nearly eighteen.

I got to my feet and swung the door open; revealing Jalice's young, fresh face. His long dark hair fell over his right eye in a style that reminded me of a singer I had seen on the celebrity channel, his pallid skin appeared a lot like an onion, almost as if you could see through it and his otherworldly cobalt eyes reminded me much of the ocean and the skies. I couldn't help but feel as if my worries had been chased away when he had walked through the door, his smile was like a knight in shining armour; the light reflecting off his helmet and metal gear, keeping the bad thought and evil spirits at bay.

"Hey Jalice." I mumbled under my breath.
"Hey Bella."
"Everything okay?" I questioned, though I felt it was more a statement than a query.
"No one's hurt or anything right?"
"No, no, nothing like that." He flashed me his gorgeous grin-He looked so much like Alice when he did that-And began to feel about in his pocket.
"I was actually hoping I could see Uncle Edward, actually." He admitted sheepishly.
"He promised Emmett, Dad and I that he'd come and play football this afternoon...Is he here?"
"Err...No."
"Well...Where is he?"
I shrugged
"Last I saw him he jumped into the spruce." I jerked my thumb to the tree above us where Edward had disappeared earlier, Jalice's eyes followed my gesture; his mouth turning into an O shape as he examined the height of the tree , that was really nothing to any vampire. "Wow." He breathed.
"I wish I could do that. That's amazing."
"Yes." It seemed ridiculous now, but I understood his amazement. When I was human, it used to astound me how Edward seemed to do everything beyond the impossible without a single flaw. Of course, my human eyes had been so clouded then.

After a moment, I realized I was being extremely rude, I gestured inside.
"Would you like to come in Jalice?"
"Err...Actually, I can't. Alice wants me to go and pick some stuff up from La Push."
"You're avoiding it?" I guessed, crossing my arms in suspicion.
He nodded: "Yes, I guess I am. Just thinking of an excuse to get out of it."
"Shouldn't you go and get the stuff for her then? You know what she gets like."
"Sure...Hey did you hear about the new things that the wolves crossed this morning?"
That struck a chord. So this was it, what Edward and the others must have been keeping from me. If the wolves had crossed something and Edward had not told me, I knew what that meant; that our days were numbered. To scarcely weeks, maybe days. Was Jalice in the know about this fact? When I gazed into his perfectly innocent face, I knew I had my answer. No, he was not.

"No, I did not know. What is it?"Jalice bit his lip then, realizing that he had probably said too much; he was suddenly less rearing to tell me, letting his gaze wander; like he was very far away.
"Jalice, dammit! I need to know! Just tell me."
"Okay. So Jake and Seth might've crossed a scent this morning when they were heading up to trade off shifts and they came across this-How did Dad describe it-sugary scent, not like anything they had ever come across; made them even more sick than vampire stench."
I winced. "Yes?"
"So they traced it into Forks." He continued without breaking a sweat to evaluate my reaction. "Jacob was pretty mad that it got into the town and told Seth that they weren't going to wait for it to start killing others and they'd head over here to get us or at least get close enough so Edward could hear-"
"Wait a minute!" I interrupted, this was all happening so fast, everything he was telling me was so hard to process.
"What time did they head into La Push?"
"Beats me, around... Three thirty maybe."

I let quickly retraced my steps,, recalling every moment with perfect clarity. I remembered three thirty, when Edward and I had been gazing into each other's eyes in the meadow and that one little insignificant sound had made the biggest change in him...So this was what that had been! Jake and Seth alerting him of the danger that was coming; around the same time that Renesmee had left to drive up to La Push. I was suddenly filled with an intense fear; which I recognized almost immediately was for my daughter. I forced my lips to move, but, they curled around my voice like claws.
"Nessie-" I choked, unable to finish. Jalice nodded.
"She's fine, of course. Jake would never let anything happen to her. They crossed her scent on the highway. You guys were real idiots not telling the wolves she was coming up Bella."
"Yes," I sighed. "I know, I know."
I didn't care; all I worried about now was knowing that my baby was fine.
"So anyway, they figured they better follow it to tell her what had happened when they caught the creatures scent on the side of the highway, following her car."

If I was a human, I could've sworn my heart would've beat to overdrive, I could almost feel it. of course, there was nothing, which was probably a relief. Who cared about being human anyway? Being a vampire was so much better.

"So they got in line with the car and followed it so the thing would not show up. But it did, Renesmee didn't even notice but the wolves chased it off into the forest and nearly got it, but they were side tracked by her scream off in the forest when her car crapped out."
"So that's all?" I questioned.
"Yes, that's all. Renesmee got up alright and they took her into the forest to meet the others and tell her."

I couldn't believe what a difference this had made, knowing exactly what Edward had kept from me, like finding out what a long awaited present it minutes before it is given to you. Nobody had died and nobody had gotten hurt. For now at least, all I loved was safe. But I couldn't help but feel cheated by him for underestimating my self-control. I knew I would've kept it together if he had told me this was all it was. A curious yet mysterious animal that could possibly pose a threat to us. Sure, it had its chances if it tried to pick us off separately, but I knew that we were stronger, we would beat it, our unbreakable bond would make the creature unable to destroy us now.
"Well, its rotten timing isn't it?" I said. There was a strange happy tone to what should have been a sarcastic voice. "But we will get through this."
"Yes." He agreed, a grin spread across his face.
"And anyhow, who knows? This is probably nothing, nothing at all, just us overreacting about a curious yet harmless vampire with a distinct scent. That's all this is. I am sure of it."
"Maybe you're right, Jalice." I mumbled. My voice was uneasy as I evaluated his hypothesis from every angle. "Maybe you're wrong. Now hurry up, now. Alice will be angry."
"Yes Bella."
"Oh Jalice!" I cried as he turned towards the door.
"Yes?"
"Do you mind picking Renesmee up from Jacob's house while you're there? Tell her Emmett and Jasper will pick up her car tomorrow morning."
"Sure thing, sure thing." He vowed.

I didn't linger about to watch him go. It was nearly four and I had just enough time before Sam and Collin went back out on their patrol. I raced upstairs, making sure I didn't break the staircase bars with my gripping hand. I flew into my room and hitched open the second story window. Warm air blew into my face but I ignored it, hitching up my skirt, I clambered out the window in the same manner as I had earlier, only I balanced on the balls of my feet on the windowsill and threw myself into the air. I sashayed three feet up into the spruce and gripped one of the branches. I swung in a circular motion three times before becoming absolutely still. I stared around for some sign of life.

There was no trace that Edward had even been here, yet alone that it was inhabited by animals. The air, compared to down by the house, was completely still, which was very unnerving, it set my teeth on edge. I navigated up the tree branch like a monkey, paying no attention to the hushed male whispers below me discussing the strength of two particular throws I did not care to listen to. The branch eventually ran into the trunk of the tree and slanted downwards towards the earth on an almost ninety degree angle. I could still see no sign of Edward and I wasn't willing to find him if he didn't want to be found..

"I don't understand." I sighed. I ran a finger through my dark hair.
"What is going on? Why is he gone?"
Where had he gone was probably a better question. I'd bet he'd gone off with Alice to meet with the wolves or get a whiff of the scent or something and he hadn't thought to inform me of this.
"Maybe this is all going to be nothing." I whispered to myself, even though I knew my attempt was useless.
"Maybe it's just some nomad, Everything's going to be okay."
I knew I was wrong by the way the air refused to stir. I knew I had my answer

CHAPTER THREE
Renesmee Carlie Cullen
My Dream Saviour

THE CREATURES OF MY DARK DREAMS WERE FAR TOO
terrifying for me to recall when I was awake. I had always had trouble sleeping after the Volturi had left that first time. I always seemed to be on the edge of my mind, standing at the crossroads between the conscious and subconscious; never able to completely shake off the fear that they would someday return and then, they appeared. Right when I thought I had escaped them in consciousness, I would relent and fall into the subconscious oceans and there they'd be, ready to kill me. Every night they appeared, and every night I escaped.

However, there had been no sightings of the mysterious creature of late, which was proof of my family and the wolves flawless planning, and this had left me and my dreams rather serene. Over the past three weeks, not one member of the Volturi had entered my dreams. Instead, my fantasies were so real and breath-taking with sandy beaches, vibrant suns and one man that appeared every time, tall and wonderful, waiting for me to take his hand. Jacob.

My long brown skirt flew out around me as I danced across the land. I knew in the real sense of the world, the white singlet I wore would've been dripping with sweat from this ridiculous heat and the stilettos I wore with the tiny heels would've snapped by now, but alas, not a bead of sweat came to me and my shoes stood strong under me, held to my feet by the red bows that were intertwined around either of my ankles. With a fiery happiness, I sashayed down to a beach that lay twinkling under the burning sun which I instantly recognized as First Beach, which meant only one thing: Jacob. If I ran fast enough maybe I could catch him and he would pull me into his arms and tell me all of the things I already knew but had always been too shy to them into words. I willed my feet to move faster, pushing against the sand so I was sprinting, eager to see his face.

To my intense surprise, this beach was empty, aside from a few pieces of lonely driftwood floating about in the surf. Not one single person had bothered to come down here, not even in this heat that was so unusual for the Olympic Peninsula, it was almost impossible that it would ever occur. So why was this beach completely empty?

I wandered slowly, not bothering to stop and collect the so many beautiful shells I passed. Usually; I would've been falling to my knees at the sight of them with their amazing, glittery colours. But at the moment, I had more important things to worry about. I needed to see Jacob, needed to talk to him, to get what was inside me off my chest. I trudged around my Mom and Jacob's driftwood tree, past the cliffs that enveloped the beach, up the path that led to the next beach, and continued to walk that. I left the La Push township in the hazy distance behind me, the wolves, the people, places and left any memory of my life back with it. I didn't want to have to think about anything ever again, just what was around me.

As I passed the Native American campsite, I turned and gazed out towards the surf. The beautiful, sparkling water was a much better sight than the campground, with its happy families, caravans and tents, a place I knew all too well would be uninhabited in this dream. I walked on and on for hours, only looking forward. There was nothing out here, nothing but the trees of the forest, the shells and driftwood and the waves of the ocean, the perfect companions for me, my only allies in what seemed like an eternal mission to find Jacob. The whisper of the wind in the trees was the sound of nature's melody; guiding me on to where I hoped Jacob waiting. The chirp of the birds told me to keep going, to never stop and I would never stop; I would never rest until Jacob was with me again. That was about the time when I awoke, crying for him and the dream I would've given anything to have continued living in.

Tonight, I had been thinking far too much about the Volturi and how they would react the new developments that had aroused in Forks. They probably wouldn't care after what had happened six years ago, say that the act was justified and leave it at that. I knew that I was going to have to suffer the consequences for all this thinking and I wasn't wrong. I didn't sleep for most of the night, knowing what was coming and wondering what form it would take as I lay awake staring into the darkness, fear dancing through my veins. Hmm, what form would it take tonight? Maybe Aro would rise from the darkness and reach out to tap my shoulder like in the horror movies. Or maybe it would be Jane, sliding out from under me to consume me in her dark cloak. Whatever it was going to be, I was going to have to think on my feet to escape it.

One moment, I was gazing out the rain-spattered window and the next I was in the middle of a black graveyard overgrown with vines and untamed trees. As I looked around me, I saw many of the mausoleums were sunken with the time they had been sitting and moss had growing over the words engraved in their fronts. I had no time to stop and look at the names etched into the stone; I had more important things to worry about and I was too scared at what I might find.
I quickly navigated my way out of the yard, finding an old gate crumbling away by two old cedars and blindly whirled around. Beyond the gate, there was nothing but a foggy emptiness, a place where I knew the Volturi would surely be lurking. I knew I could not go in there, if I valued my life as well as my sanity, so I edged my way along the sunken fence around the burial plot, my body pressed up against the barrier to avoid being seen by any sort of creatures in the mist.

Moving carefully as not to draw attention to my presence, I stepped slowly over a fallen tree trunk; holding my breath for any sort of sound that would mean my end. To my surprise, my whereabouts had not come to me yet, usually in dreams, I found myself in places I knew, but that mostly held dark memories I wished never to revisit. This place was in no way familiar. Something that had come entirely from my imagination. Still, I knew it didn't really matter. The Volturi were going to be here, that was a certainty. They would be just around the corner, or hiding in the bushes, or the mist.

When I was sure I was far enough away that I could not be followed, I broke into a run but I kept my pace as not to tire myself out. Scrambling over a pile of debris I was once a building, a few tree stumps that lay unseen in the tall wild flowers, I began to wonder if I was really heading the right way towards civilization. The graveyard had looked much more inviting what lay before me, a long, gross cloak of darkness that looked like what one would normally see at the end of a nightmare, the inescapable epilogue. Of course, I knew better. This wasn't the end of a particularly terrifying nightmare, it was only the beginning and, like some sort of sick joke, there was no escaping the punch line.

"No!" I screeched into the black haze ahead of me. I could not face the punch line to this sick dream, not again. The Volturi were in there, I could feel their silent breathing on the breeze. They had fooled me again, the mist had not been a trap, but an invitation, the path it had concealed my freedom and, like a complete and utter idiot, I had gone with my instincts..

At first, the (supposedly) empty space ahead of me held no sign of life. But as I waited, shivering in the breeze that had begun to pick up to more of a gale force, I began to see tinges of white materialising from the emptiness. One by one, the stark-pale faces of the Volturi appeared, their eyes stared straight through me as if I was nothing. Their lips were curled back in delight; as if they'd just received some good news, I narrowed my eyes at them: of course they had, they'd found me, that was all they had been wishing for all along, a place to kill me. Their lips moved, but nothing came to my ears like watching television on mute. In an attempt to understand, I observed their mouths carefully as their lips curled around every word. Maybe they could give me some answers, a reason as to why I was here of all places, a place that obviously held some sort of special significance to them. But-try as I might-I could distinguish nothing from their lips.

It seemed that they were all talking now, babbling senselessly away to each other like I wasn't there. I guessed they were debating over what to do with me now they'd discovered my whereabouts,. I cringed away from the sight of them, I didn't want to listen to talk of my fate. Only two vampires bothered to document my steps as I stood in front of them. Caius stood, tall and statuesque, behind Marcus and Aro. I could see by the look on his face that he was judging the way I responded to them, the way they moved, the way they spoke, the way they stood; it looked as if he knew all my thoughts and he didn't like what he saw. Jane, as beautiful as she was, particularly disturbed me, as she always had, ever since I was a little girl. Her brother, Alec, rambled away noiselessly in her ear, but her blood-red irises never faltered from mine. The way she ran her fingers along her cloaks so it billowed out behind her like a black river made her seem so, so terrifying, the kind of scary that made even the toughest man shy away in fear. I knew I wanted, needed to be brave, but I still dropped my gaze, too terrified to look any more.

After a few minutes of apparent "careful deliberation" Aro turned away from his minions at his sides and stared at me, with a look of fulfilment and happiness in his eyes. A look I immediately distrusted.
"My dears," He cried out, mysteriously vocal. His voice was sharp, screechy, a million miles off how I remembered it. Like someone running their fingers along metal; the sound ripped through my eardrums like claws. "Caius, Marcus" He continued without faltering; a sick smile on his face "I have thought long and hard about this-"An immature snickering arose from behind him in the darkness which he ignored."And we have made the decision to take care of this problem...Quickly and cleanly. Which means that I shall be the one to destroy her."

A loud gasp leaked from the cloaked vampires around him as well as a small gasp that had been my own. This dream was different than the one's I usually underwent, so different it made me wonder if it really was a dream. For one, the Volturi did not automatically advance, but they were deliberating, and another, they actually spoke to me, spoke to each other, their voices were clear as the heavens in my mind. I had never had an experience like this since the first night after the settled battle.
"But master!" Jane protested, her girlish cry broke my surprise with its harsh edge. She tore past her brother and threw herself at Aro's feet, she gripped his cloak as if it were one of an angels. Typical obsequious vampire.
"With these sorts of situations, I believe you do assign Alec and I the task of torturing the victim."
Her eyes shifted to me; there was nothing about her gaze that was friendly.
"And I want to kill the girl. It's been eating at my mind ever since the last time."

Aro gazed into the face of his loyal servant and a smile spread across his face. It was one of pity, but at the same time of pride; almost as if he couldn't make proper sense of the situation. Well, that made two of us.
"With patience and love, my dear Jane. You must understand that this type of situation will involve no such torture. To inflict so on this poor young one would be a tragedy. After all-"
He unexpectedly reached out his long, white, bony fingers to stroke my face. I was shocked stiff, but I didn't run or scream. Instead, I remained quiet and non-moving. But I almost jumped out of my skin at his touch. He was colder than ice, colder than anything I'd ever felt, undead included.
"Why should this child have to pay for the doing of her parents in pain? To do so would make us monsters in our own right."
I wanted to tell them that they were already all of that and more and that killing me would solve none of their problems; but I couldn't find my lips.
"So, if what you're saying is true-" Alec said, he had spared me no greeting glance since I had first seen him and his eyes finally fell on me, taking in how I stood, my expression, everything that could possibly give him an excuse to hurt me. His eyes flickered to Aro, who watched him, evidently interested in his hypothesis. "then what has happened here was not her fault?"

What did he mean? Had I done something before this dream had begun that had broken some kind of invisible vampire law I knew nothing about? Aro nodded and reached out to touch the boy on the shoulder.
"Again, with patience, Alec. Surely you must understand that this type of situation often happens accidently. Like her parents before her-"he referred to my parents with a harsh edge to his voice. Something told me that recent events, and Jane and Caius persuasion, probably, had lead him to seriously dislike my Mom and Dad. That was strange; he'd never minded them before.
"This was not intentional. But, just like Isabella and Edward, she has not grown to regret the mistake."
"And that is why we are choosing to punish you." Jane chipped in; her cerise eyes were still intent on me, refusing to look away. .
"For you have not come to hold regret for the decision you and that dog of yours made without doing your homework."

"Wait a minute!" Finally, I had found the courage to force my lips to make words. I had no idea what Jane spoke of, but something in her dark eyes told me that it was better if I never found out. "What do you mean a decision that me and the dog made? What decision? Jacob and I haven't done anything wrong-"
"You see, Aro?" Caius exploded "She is not willing to admit to her ridiculous mistake, yet alone take responsibility, just as I said! That animal has brainwashed her; tricked her into getting what it wants."
"I have most certainly not been brainwashed-"
"And what's more, she has left the mistake with him!" Jane said.
"Now wait just a minute-"
"No!" Aro roared. His voice echoed through the darkness, clawing at my eardrums once again with its metallic screech. I wanted to lie down and die, right there. Death would've been rewarding to escape the sound. Aro's eyes fell on me again, but, unlike before, they were triumphant because he had gotten something he'd been striving to achieve for so long, it shocked me into silence. He continued when I failed to:
"The Volturi will not wait a moment longer, nor will we give you another chance to plead your case."
"Plead my case!" I cried "I haven't even got to that yet!"
"And you shall not!" Caius moaned.

The tall blond vampire pushed through the trap that Aro and Marcus made in front of him and began to approach me. My gut reaction was to runt as my legs could carry me to get me out of this place, but my feet stayed rooted to the ground. I shivered as his long pallid fingers traced the shape of my nose, my cheekbones, eyelids and lips before coming head on in a full handed slap. I screamed as the fire coursed through me. I felt as if my face should be torn and scratched, bloody and hideous, but as my hands touched my face, I felt nothing. Just plain skin that I knew would redden horribly from its most recent encounter.
The vampires around me held no remorse for what Caius had just done to me, as I was well aware. Not even a reflexive flinch came from the darkness or a mere 'that must've been painful from Alec or Jane. I had been expecting as much from them; this pain would've been nothing to what they could've delivered, I probably should've been more grateful.

"Witnesses made of your little vampire friends saved you once, little young thing. But nothing is going to save you this time if I have anything to say about it! This time I will get the final say in this matter!"

Instinct told me to run, to escape now as I had every other time and been successful. If I made a break for the misty path back by the graveyard, maybe I'd make it in enough time to get out of here and score a one way ticket back to consciousness. All I had to do was wait for Caius to retreat to where his guard stood, far enough to give me enough time to run. But he did not go back. His bony hands continued to trace my entire upper body, my arms, breastbone, shoulder bone, with an icy touch that made me tremble. I stood stark still, chewing on my lip so hard I wondered why I didn't taste blood. That would've set the guard off, with their inability to resist.
Move! My thoughts screeched at me
Do it now! Forget them, just make the run now and try!

I felt my hands reach up and pry those nasty fingers away as they scooted down my back towards my thighs. I hated how he touched me! I couldn't let him do it anymore. Caius yelped and leapt back. But when he looked up at me again, something had drastically changed in his eyes. Suddenly, he was no longer the vampire waiting for the verdict; he was the vampire delivering it.

I dashed backwards, my body crouched, ready to dodge whatever Caius was willing to throw at me and begun to blindly sprint. I didn't care where I was going anymore or where I would end up. All I cared about was getting the Hell away from those Volturi members. I scooted past tree stumps I had fallen over easily, as if I had known all along they were there. It was surprising that I found my way around so easily now, like I had done this same route thousands of times and had memorised every pebble, every bump, I easily backed into the white mist that had enveloped the path from my vision.

As their dark, billowing cloaks vanished from sight, I whirled around, breaking into a solid run. I needed to get out of here now, before the Volturi figured out where I was going, a place I didn't even know myself.
I tripped and fell a countless amount of times, not being able to see anything through the film of tears, but I didn't care. I knew there had to be something out there, someone who could hold me in their arms and protect me from the evil vampires, somebody who would never leave me. Somebody, anybody.

Behind me, I could hear dark hissing, like that of a python, a sound I knew all too well as the sound of a thirsty vampire. The sound was so close, almost immediately behind me, it echoed in the mist, tore my eardrums and left me in a frenzied panic. They knew I was out here and had figured out my plan, they would kill me if I didn't move it.

I blindly threw myself at the mist, thinking nothing of what was ahead, but only what was behind me, my death pursuing me with unfathomable speed. But after a few minutes, I began to realise nothing was coming out of the haze, nothing but the same white cloak of nothing. But there had to be something! A house, a tree; anything. I could not keep running into this mist, they'd find me too easily.

A few more hours passed and I kept running. The sound of my hungry pursuers had long since quietened. They'd probably given up and gone back to Volterra, but I still wasn't taking any chances. I continued with my hasty jog, unless they decided to return.

Time stretched on with nothing but the same dreary white wall ahead of me. I wanted to cry, to curl up into a ball and die because nothing changed no matter how far I ran. But I knew I had gone too far to consider turning back to the graveyard. I would just come to the same lifeless mist walls that consumed me now; like smothering a burning flame.

"No!" I screeched. I didn't want to be here anymore, I wanted to wake up, so much it hurt. I quickly pinched my elbow to make it happen faster, but the view in front of me never changed. Then the terrifying truth hit that this was not a dream, but a reality. I was really stuck and I needed to keep going if I wanted to survive.

But it seemed that the same thing greeted me no matter how far I ran. Minutes turned to hours, hours maybe to days, weeks into months, months into years and years to decades but still, nothing came from the mist. My run grew sluggish, my back began to hunch over with age; as I tried to grab the mist ahead of me, I saw my fingers had turned to a sea of wrinkles and long, dirty fingernails. Slowing, I could feel my joints rubbing against each other so hard I cried out in pain-crippling arthritis. It was so terrible, each new step was like another into a pit of Hell fire, I knew I couldn't carry on; it'd destroy me. I screamed and shouted into the darkness, but now, I couldn't even speak, my elderly voice was too broken for it. So, like some sort of weak human, fell to my knees, curling up in a ball as I had so desperately wanted to do decades ago; and became still, listening to my own breathing and nothing else. In my heart I realised my time was up. I was going to die, right here, right now, with nobody else with me.

Still, I knew from what I had heard from my mother that just because something seems like the end, it isn't necessarily. There is always a way to see it through, grow and survive. No matter how low my chances were at survival right now, I could still try and find a way out. So using my final ounces of strength, I slowly moved my crippled head so I was able to see the misty wall ahead of me. There had to be more to this nothingness, something had to be out here, just one person, just one object. Fate owed me that much, considering I was dying.
Eventually, a shadowy figure materialised from the mist, tall and dark. The silhouette was too far away for me to make sense of it, yet alone distinguish whether it was a man or a woman, but something about the way they stood made me believe that it was somebody I knew, somebody I loved. It was Jacob.

Hope and excitement lit up in my dying heart and lifted me up into eternity in that moment. Finally, somebody had found me! I was going to be okay, safe in his arms where he could take me home, back to sanity and family. I felt my lips curl around words, forcing them from my mouth in the form of quivering words.
"Jake?"
His head turned towards me and finally, I was able to see his face. Beautiful and alert as he gazed at me. But, as I was instantly aware, his eyes held nothing in them, just the same hopelessness I had seen whenever I had ever been hurt or gone missing momentarily in childhood. A protective desperation to have me safe, it was those eyes that looked through me without thought.
He could not see me. I was too far away.

I wanted to scream. This couldn't be possible! I could see him all too well and my eyes were damaged with age. How could he not see me here, curled up in a ball waiting for death. Why was he walking away from me now, into the snowy mist, his eyes searching, lips curling around a word I instantly recognised as my name?
"Renesmee? Where are you?"
"I'm here, Jacob!" I gathered up enough energy to speak.
"I'm here! Look at me!"
But he was gone and I had given up all hope of survival. It was just me here and nobody else. Nobody would ever love me in the short time I had left here, nothing would greet me and nobody cared about me. It was just me and this mist; no sense, no happiness, fulfilment or life, just an old woman dying in emptiness.
"NO!"

I kicked myself awake, screaming and smashing my head into the pillow. After a few minutes, when I built up enough awareness of reality; I sunk my teeth into the feathery cushion in an attempt to shake off the eerie dream that had seemed so real. What a dream to have when I should have been at my happiest right now. I was free from the lockdown everybody had had me in over the last few days, nobody had been hurt and I had been in a tranquil environment as I slept.

"Whoa, whoa, Renesmee! Hey, it's okay. "A familiar voice whispered. It was of a male, that of which I was one hundred percent certain, but somehow, I failed to bring his face to mind. It didn't matter anyway, the fact that somebody else was with me didn't make a difference in how I felt. I hadn't been able to get Jacob's attention and I hadn't been able to tell him the things I didn't even know myself, now he was gone and he'd never know the truth. I could feel the anger and terror still bubbling up inside of me, pouring from my lips in the form of tiny unintelligible shrieks and tears, as a pair of long, muscly, dark arms reached out to engulf me in a comforting hug. I gripped the black and red checkered fabric of the persons' shirt and buried my eyes in it. The man who held me didn't seem to mind; he took my legs in his free arm and cradled me like a baby, rocking me slowly to calm my screaming fit. All the while, he whispered quietly to me, his lips nearly touching my ear: "Its okay, pretty baby. It's alright. I'm here, you're safe." Jacob? Was that voice Jacob?

"J-Jake?" I whispered. Ugh, my voice sounded so off, like I'd spent years crying without fail. It wasn't exactly a lie, but I still couldn't hold the tears back now as they dripped onto his shirt.
"I'm right here, sweetheart."
"Oh, Jake!"
"Did you have a bad dream?" He asked me, I nodded.
"Yes, Jake it was terrible. I thought I was going to die."
I remembered the feeling, the lonely hopelessness that clouded my brain as I lay, an old woman, dying. I prayed to God I would never have to feel it again. Jake's eyes darkened as I spoke, their brown irises seemed very far away, in memory. He looked so mysterious, recalling reminiscences from the past.
"Jake, are you okay?" I whispered. He shook his head, as if my words had pulled him out of some binding trance.
"Yes. Yes, I'm fine. I'm more worried about you." His big hands traced the shape of my lip, running slowly up my cheekbone. I stood very still so I could feel his warm fingers as they touched my icy skin, his touch was electrifying; it awoke every part of me he stroked with a fiery heat that ignited my soul. I wanted to look up and stare into his dark eyes, but I couldn't find the energy to lift my head.

"Are you okay?"
"I will be." I lied very feebly "Once I...Have a chance to calm down..."
"Of course." He rested his chin on the top of my head; the heat warmed my forehead and the roots of my hair. The heat reminded me of the fiery red that had brewed in Caius's eyes and I began to cry again. "It's alright," I felt his arms reaching to the back of my head to stroke my hair, his other to hold my waist.

"It never happened."
I wrapped my arms around his neck and nestled my head into his neck.
"It was so, so realistic." I recalled through sniffles. "It was like they were really there, waiting to kill me."
"Who?"
"The V-"
I didn't know how I could say the without either falling into a full scale panic attack or bursting out in tears once again. I didn't want to speak the name, didn't want to have it sour my words. It was bad enough that they clouded my dreams with their mystical vampire ways; I didn't want to have to bring them into this warm reality and make them real. They didn't have to be real, I wished they weren't. But I didn't really know if I could explain of this to Jacob.

"The Volturi." I mumbled,
"I'm sorry, what was that?" Jake replied, his lips moving to brush against my hair. I didn't know if I could say it again, but I still tried.
"The Volturi."

The name was like a sudden strike of a lightning bolt. Jacob cringed away from me, his hand flying from my hair to hold his stomach. He kept his right arm around me so I could support his weight as he...Laughed?
"What are you doing?" I asked
He chortled and rolled onto his side away from me, still clutching his sides.
"Hahaha...Laughing."
At me?
"Jacob Black!" I chastised."
"This is so not funny."
"Yes it is! It so is…' he didn't seem of control of his body anymore "Ha! Those red-eyed bloodsuckers that are like leech cops?"
I hated it when he referred to them as leeches. It grated my nerves.
"Yes. And I would appreciate it if you would not refer to them as leeches, if you don't mind." He ignored me too busy doubling over in a fit of laughter.
"The ones that tried to kill us in the meadow?"
"Uh-huh."
He snickered and fell over himself again, leaning against me for support.

The experience in the meadow was strictly off limits to speak of and he knew it. Too many times had my parents pulled him out of a family celebration or get-together to explain that they never spoke of that fateful day. We never talked about it in my family; it had never come up in casual conversation ever since the night after the fight-Which I understood perfectly. We wanted to forget it. Make a fresh beginning. I wondered if the werewolves did the same. The way he spoke of the war-so casually-started to make me think that they did not.

I toppled uneasily under his weight-he was so massive-until I eventually pushed him off. He swayed drunkenly on two feet for a minute and then wrapped both arms around my waist again, moulding his head around my shoulder. I did the same.
"What's so funny?" I asked,
"How upset you were...Over a dream about them." He spat the words through clenched teeth.
"What? So in your eyes I can't be upset over things I dreamed about that I have every right in the world to be afraid of?"
"No, not that." He doubled over as another surge of laughter rolled through him. "That's not true."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. Renesmee, I didn't mean to annoy you, I just think it's so funny that you need all of this." He gestured to my body, which lay in his arms. "To be comforted over something so pathetic."
I winced. Well, that stung.
"I was scared! I kept thinking that they might come back and then it got into my dreams and..."

"You're obsessing over little tribes of bloodsuckers that act tough but run home to Mommy with their tails between their legs when they get a little scare." He pointed out.
"That's not true!" I shouted, I pushed against him a little "And you know it. They killed Irina, Jacob! They could kill me just as easily." His dark eyes gazed into mine and I hoped my expression explained to him that I had been scared, scared for my life. He sighed.
"You know I would never let that happen."
"Oh yes you would." I retorted. I rolled away from him and sat up, I didn't need to listen to this; it only hurt me more when I had to think about the possibilities.
"I'm going to get killed sometime Jacob. Whether it's by this thing hanging around or the Volturi doesn't matter. I'm still going to die." The knowledge of my words dawned on me. I had no choice in this matter; I was not going to live forever. Whether I liked it or not, someone or something was going to come along and kill me. He knew it too, we all did.
"I-I won't let that ever happen to you." He vowed again "I'll take you away, I'll take you to the futhurest ends of the planet, to the North and South Pole if I have to. I'll hide you in the darkest cave, away from all this crap that's going on." I shook my head and reached out to stroke his face.
"Jake, no matter what you do, you can't keep me with you forever. Someday, something going to come and snatch me from you."

"No!" He replied, his voice shocked me. It was so terrifying, like venom, it stabbed me right where it was hurt most, my heart. "Renesmee, you are my best friend. The most important girl in my life, the only girl in my life, the only girl I need. Without you, I don't know what I'd do. You mean more to me than any amount of money, any ring, any precious jewel or anything else. Your friendship is the only think that keeps me breathing right now."

His words lit a burning furnace in the deepest pit of my heart that warmed me from the soles of my feet to the tips of my fingers. I had never heard him or anyone speak about me that way; it touched me.
"Really?" I whispered.
"Yes. It's true." He shrugged his shoulders and smiled at me " I know I'm a wimp."
"No you're not a wimp." I replied, my hands stroke his face softly, marvelling over his warm skin. "You're wonderful. The best friend anybody could ever have."
"Thank you, Renesmee."
"No, thank you." I corrected him. "Thank you for being the sun at the end of my nightmare, the light at the end of the tunnel. It's just what I needed."

Of course, he waited. While I observed each and every piece of clothing in my closet, he sat on my bed, his eyes moving in a constant circular motion. To the mirror leaning backwards on my closet, plastered with cut-outs of attractive eighties singers, fantasy actors and ancient screenshots from The Wiz then to me, on my hands and knees, throwing random clothes into two piles and finally to my small pile of books at his feet. As I threw a hideous sick yellow sundress into the chuck pile, he picked up the books and began sifting through the titles.

"Jeez, I have nothing here!" I shouted. I threw my final item of clothing-a grey pair of skinny jeans-onto the chuck pile. Jacob paid no attention; instead, he stared at one one of the many books he had strewn across the bed, laughing at something in the text.
"Hey!" I called, hoping to pull him out of his trance."A little help?"
"Don't ask me, I'm not a girl." He replied, not even looking up from the book, I sighed.
"Well thank you very much Jacob. You're very helpful." I got to my feet and brushed myself down, annoyed with his lack of assistance. "I guess I'm going in pyjama bottoms and a holey tank then."
"Why don't you try Bella's wardrobe?" he suggested. "She wears real nice stuff. It'll look amazing on you, too."
"Hey, that's not actually a bad idea." I said. "I'll go and see what's there. I won't be a moment."
"Actually." Jacob said, he dropped the book and walked towards me, his eyes soft with apology.
"I have to go get ready." My heart sank.
"Oh well...Okay. I'll see you at the party then."
"Sure."
He pulled me in close before running towards the window and jumping out. I waited to hear the thump as he landed, but no sound came.

My mother always had such lovely clothes. She once told me that when I was only a few days old, before she'd met me properly for the first time, that Alice had given her and my Dad this place for her nineteenth birthday, spoiling Mom further by giving her a massive wardrobe full of clothes. At first, it had annoyed her as she had never been into fashion, but as time went on and she fully adjusted to vampire life, she began to thank Alice for all of those clothes, they had become useful.

I dashed out of my little room and across the landing into my parents' room. I was surprised to find it empty and for once without a scratch to show they'd been having mad sex in here. I knew they had, when I had been waiting for sleep to find me last night; the constant banging had been almost impossible to block out. I ran straight to the west wall and shoved the glass door out of the way, just about falling onto the soft pink carpet of the walk in wardrobe.

I had not been in here very often in fact, I couldn't even remember a time when I had, but this room looked vaguely familiar. Hot pink walls, large mirrors, fluffy cerise mats and two sets of long poles stretching along the length of the room. Perfect pink and blue bags sat in lines along both sides, distinguishing the clothes for either gender. I went straight for a rather long bag that showed off a rather dark trim of the bottom of a dress. It was a long, tight grey piece, mostly see-through that looked more as if it belonged on the cover of Playboy magazine than in a vampire woman's wardrobe. I slid it back into the bag promptly and shoved it back onto the pole with relief; I prayed not all Moms' dresses were like that.

I spent three minutes grabbing bags I liked the look of before discovering they were either the wrong size-courtesy of the tags-were too ruffled, something that didn't fit my personal taste, or was unsuitable. Every time I would just sigh, put it back in the bag and place it back where I had found it. Finally, after desperately searching through bags and not bothering to look at them fully because they appeared scanty; I peered in a small bag and caught sight of glittery plum, my favourite colour. I frantically pulled it from the bag to see it, excited and curious about what it would reveal to me. I held it by the hanger and held it against me in front of the mirror. It was so beautiful, prettier than any dress I had any seen before. It was strapless, with a heart shaped neckline that plunged to just below the breasts. It looked as if it would skilfully compliment any woman's shape waist upwards with a tight fabric before descending into a mauve waterfall to the floor. I looked more carefully and saw that it was cut in a slit from the floor to the thigh on the left side, something not many people could pull off
"Amazing." I whispered, but, as much as I hated to admit it, I knew that it would never fit. The tags weren't stacking the odds in my favour and I worried that the visibility of my thigh would make me self-conscious.

Anxious to reach the verdict on the dress, I stripped down to my underwear, making sure I didn't stop to take a look at my partly naked self in the mirror and begin doubting myself and stood into the dress carefully. I probably took more time to put it on than strictly necessary but it didn't matter; it slid easily across my skin, allowing me to pull it up to my chest without much hassle. For a few minutes, I stood with my back to the mirror, my eyes squeezed closed in anticipation. I didn't want to look at myself, I was too nervous, but I finally got up the courage to look at myself in the mirror and gasped. I looked so different. I wasn't even me anymore. I looked like a supermodel as the dress moved in and out of my curves effortlessly, showing a much more beautiful figure that I had never seen in myself before. Everything about me was different; I almost looked as if I should have angel wings behind me, flapping long white feathers. As if I had regressed to a dream, where a new me had been born that was much better, more mysterious. "Wow." I said.

CHAPTER FOUR
Jacob Black
AGREEMENT

THIS DAY HAD REALLY SUCKED, AND I WAS NOT BEING melodramatic. In the blistering heat, I had run miles through the forest with Seth, having to put up with his thoughts about Alicia that were so soppy I thought I was going to drop down and start hurling. Then after I'd endured that torture, I'd gone to see Renesmee and she'd been asleep. I lay with her for hours, watching her dark lids that were heavy with sleep and listen to her heavenly voice as she whispered my name.
"Jake," she whispered "Jake, don't leave me. Never leave me."

That had really torn my heart out. I knew how I felt about her. I knew nothing could ever compare to her and her friendship; but she had choices and I knew that no matter what, I would be whatever she wanted me to be.

I felt like I was a puppet right now and she was the puppeteer. She held the strings and controlled me, if she wanted me somewhere, I'd be there; if she needed me to be something, I would be it, as long as it made her smile. And it wasn't like I was about to change a thing, that was my destiny as was any other wolf that had imprinted. Our girls were like angel puppeteers, controlling us and everything we did, taking away our choices and preventing any hurt caused by other women. A blessing, I thought, since we would never have to suffer any more hurt or be confused again; but, as usual, not everybody saw it that way. I'd wrapped my arms around her and told her I'd never leave her or hurt her, then I kissed her lids and let my lips linger on hers.

I slammed the door and turned to face the miserable joke I called a bedroom. As usual, the bed took up three quarters of the space, leaving just enough room for me to slip past it to my stupid wardrobe. When there, I began yanking random shirts from it, not caring where they landed or what I pulled out. I grabbed the first shirt I saw and started looking for an appropriate pair of pants that weren't either cut-off jeans or old badly snipped sweats. I didn't get much luck, since my Dad was too sick right now to bother lending me money for gas so I could get up to Port Angeles to buy some clothes. The best pants I could find were the blue faded jeans with oil stains on them from when I'd used them to block a leak in my car. I took one look at them and the shirt I'd chosen and wanted to throw them in the trash and chose something else. This was what I called my formal clothing, a red flannel shirt and greasy jeans which looked like they belonged in the trash. I had real class. No wonder Bella had chosen Edward over me but instead of looking in the tiny mirror or at my reflection in the mucky windows, I yanked my shirt over my head and pulled the jeans up my legs. I didn't want to see myself and give myself a reason to stop me from going to this thing. It would just give Jared and excuse to start another lecture on pack pride.

Billy watched me as I shoved a few random water bottles and a spare pair of jeans in a small bag, his ancient expression thoughtful. I guessed he was upset that I was leaving him to watch my niece, Meghan by himself. I couldn't really blame him, the kid was a handful.
"Got a minute Jake?" He asked me, I shook my head as I slung the bag over my shoulder
"No time, Dad. I've got to go. This thing of Jared's is at seven."
His eyes flicked slowly to the small clock on the mantelpiece.
"Its six thirty, Jake."
I shrugged
"Yeah, so?"
"Well…I don't imagine Bella will let Renesmee come until quarter to and…I need some help with Meghan." I sighed and wandered over towards the door.
"I'll see you later."
"Jake-"
That was the last thing I heard as I slammed the door behind me.

I sprinted across the street and into the forest as quickly as I could before Dad had the chance to see where I was headed. As I ran through the trees, I realised I was not alone. I could feel the others presence as they ran through the trees at a slow pace, not metres away from each other, able to hear each other's footfalls. I yanked my shirt over my head, kicked off my jeans and tied them around my ankle. I was barely done when I felt the licks of flames at my feet, coursing through my blood, changing me into something else. My body fell to the ground and I was running on all fours, sprinting blindly to catch up with them.
Could he be any slower? Quil snickered.
Could you be any louder? Leah shouted back
I'm trying to think serenely here
Yeah, well, no chance of that, Leah
Oh great, Leah sighed in her thoughts you're back

I heard her briefly contemplate attacking me and laughed quietly to myself. It used to be painful with Leah, listening to her sad thoughts about Sam, but now, after all that trouble with Bella and the Volturi, she and I had had the chance to bond, talk things over and straighten out our differences. I could've almost called her my friend, if she didn't still hate Renesmee so much
Leah! Sam ordered, his voice was very strong, but it was a shadow of what it had been a few years ago.
This is no time for you and Jacob to play fight like children, we have to sort out the matter of this unknown vampire.
What? I asked Have you guys found something?
Hardly, Seth replied Just a couple of footprints with a mysterious scent we didn't recognize.
Oh right,
I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed Paul confessed
I really wanted some action today.
If it's at the expense of someone's life, I'd rather I never witnessed any action for the rest of my life I told him
Especially if its at the expense of Nessie.
An exasperated sigh rose around me.

Gosh Jacob! Paul rolled his eyes through another sigh
Why don't you just make your move on Renesmee already?
That was a very good question; one I really didn't know how to answer. Because I didn't feel we were up to that point yet? Because I didn't know if personally I was ready?
Because I don't want to rush things.
Jacob? Seth said I'm with Paul on this one, she's seventeen…He paused to deliberate around how to put it right Looking now, you've waited long enough.

I guessed he had a point. No matter how long I'd waited before, what time would ever be right for us to talk about our feelings? How she felt and how I did? But I was actually beginning to wonder whether I even wanted to take that step with Renesmee. She was my best friend and she'd always would be, but when I thought of her now, I still saw that smiley little girl I helped her parents raise since infancy. I had been like an older brother to her throughout her life….But was I ready or willing to put that aside as love her?

Alright, I sighed, I'll do it. Tonight at the party.
Finally! Seth cheered, we don't have listen your what ifs all day
Well that's all well and good I said but what if she says no? I'll be cut up if she does, and you all know it.
Don't worry about it Jacob, Paul murmured, he saw my anxiety through my eyes.
We all know Kim doesn't like Renesmee so either Jared stands up to her or she's not coming at all
That doesn't make me feel better, if that's what you were trying to do, Paul.
Oh, I know. I was just trying.
Ha! Paul, good point in the same sentence? Nice joke guys Jared's thoughts interrupted my reveries. I sighed, so the life of the party had arrived.
Well, Paul thought
If it isn't Jared-Crocker from The Hood. Don't you have something more important to do like cleaning your socks?
Well yeah, since your subjecting me to this horrible joke you call a party! Seth agreed
Jared's thoughts were unabashed, sarcastic and mellowed from their comments.
You know I would, but the washing machine's broken
So, Seth mumbled Put them in the bathtub
No!
I'll make you, Paul raged, I'll put a hole in that thing you call a face
I sighed. Oh great, he was getting into this mood

Even after so many years, Paul still had issues with his anger, though he had become a lot more mellowed out than before. If someone pissed the crap out of him, we'd feel his anger and he would either attack or explode out of his clothes into wolf form. At least we could read his mind and had a chance to get the hell out of his way; we didn't really like the idea of having scars like Emily's across our faces. I could feel the anger boiling up inside of him, in danger of spilling over into an all-out scrap. I thought about getting out of there, but I decided I'd give Paul the chance to calm down.
Bring it, lard! Paul shouted, images pouring into our minds of Jared limping in human form with one leg. Seth cringed
Me! He cried I had nothing to do with this!
Not you! Paul mumbled
Him, Jared.
Oh. Seth whispered

I was beginning to get tired of this constant pointless arguing. I hated having to hear their poisonous thoughts about each other. It just made me sick.

Will all of you just shut up for a minute? I asked, I needed to get these negative thoughts out of my head, I needed to think. I need to think here.
Seth scoffed
I think its best we carry on then. I know what you'll be thinking about and I really don't want to know

I knew what he was referring to and I cringed away from it. However, at the back of my mind, certain images I knew well flooded to the front line of my thoughts, ones that I should never have seen and by all right, shouldn't have been in my mind now. But once I thought of them, they scarred my brain. Every time I had helped Renesmee change until she was at the appearance of eight and then all the times I had seen her change as she got older, when her body began to take its natural course from one I had accepted as normal to a gorgeous perfect body that caught my eye every time I saw her. She was not the little girl I practically raised anymore. She didn't need me to feed her or help her change every day as well be her best friend. She was now a beautiful mature teenage girl, rapidly coming up to the age I appeared and her hormones had to be kicking in soon, and then maybe she'd realise what was going on between us.
"It will be like he was designed for her alone" I had told Bella before Renesmee was born. That would be exactly what it would be like when Renesmee got mature enough to get into a relationship. So picturing her like this-a partially naked teen, gazing at me with gorgeous eyes that made me feel as if we were the last two people on the planet-was okay, I guessed.

Eww, gross Seth complained as he viewed my thoughts with disgust
Jake, that's nasty
Sorry, I grabbed the thought with the claws of my mind and pushed it back into a safe in the darkness of the memories I refused to revisit once again. But Paul, Jared, Sam and Quil do it often enough-
Although Jared not so much anymore Seth interrupted, he glanced into Jared's dark eyes as he moved to run next to him.
No, Jared agreed
I don't;
Seth was in doubt, as we watched, many factors flashed through his eyes surrounding Jared and Kim's relationship. No pregnancy, marriage, absence of lovesick thoughts.
I don't know why, Jared answered
She's not pregnant and the thought's aren't there, I guess it's just nerves, or…
He trailed off and dropped his dark eyes to the forest floor, like he was ashamed of the truth.
Well, I mumbled, I felt I had to think of something, anything that would ease his anxiety.
Whatever's going on will pass, bro,
Jared's thought's we not convinced
Maybe, but it never goes away for long.
If you're having second thoughts, Paul's voice piped up. Why didn't you ask her to marry you?

I had to admit, the idea wasn't stupid. Jared and Kim had been together for as long as I could remember, they knew each other inside out and their love poured from their lips all the time. Why wouldn't they marry after so long?
I'm not having second thoughts
Whatever you say, I shrugged, I quickened my run in desperation to get further away. Seth wasn't one to be left behind though, he ran faster too, catching up to me within seconds. I tried to block out their thoughts so I could have some peace to think straight, I thought of faraway lands with butterflies and angels fluttering in the aqua skies, of long light blue waters, calm as a lake and finally of the bronze haired angel that lit up the skies with the jewels that shone from the locks of her hair, Renesmee….

-Maybe she's right in front of you but you're just not looking at her right. Paul mused, Jared nodded in agreement
You're right Paul,
Someone should tell that to Renesmee, I mumbled to myself. Another exasperated sigh.
Look Jacob, Paul said Maybe you should just tell her how you feel.
Really? I said
Yeah, if she cares about you, she'll understand. Besides, I'm not saying it to her
A sound of agreement roared in all of their heads.
In case its escaped your notice, Paul continued I'm not exactly the biggest fan of Renesmee Cullen unlike you "leech lovers- He spat at the words-as we used to say.

We had come to a stop around the dying part of the forest and began running towards Forks. Paul's eyes were darting around us, looking at the scenery in awe, like he was seeing it for the first time rather than the thousandth. Leah, Brady and Collin were discussing their day and how Collin had almost fell off a cliff earlier while Sam surveyed their thoughts suspiciously. Seth bobbed his head to an invisible beat, debating with Jared over how long it'd been since we'd used that term. Everybody was separated by the thin lines of trees between us, far enough for one of us to attack another and get the upper hand momentarily, I thought about getting my chance at Paul for a minute, but thought better of it when Leah growled
Don't even think about it, mutt.

God, I hate to think, Seth murmured, trying to count the years we hadn't used the words leech lovers for A few years?

A few years Jared chortled in response, rolling back on his haunches Back when everything was about Bella Swan,

I skidded to a stop and growled darkly, he was speaking of my best friend strangely, like I used to when she'd left with Edward for her honeymoon, like she had died in a terrible accident or something, like her soul was no longer with us.
I wasn't having that. Not in my pack
Everybody, circle. Now.
They all moaned, but obeyed me, even Sam didn't object and take his pack away. I could see him looking through my thoughts, seeing what I was going to say, with great detail and insight. He nodded in my direction as he passed, agreeing with me.
Alright, I sighed
I know we've been through a lot together and we respect each other, but…
Man, Paul, if Nessie and Jacob ever had a kid, that'd make you blow your top, Seth joked. He brought the thoughts that clouded my dreams front and centre again, Renesmee in my arms, her body naturally rounded with my baby, kissing me and sighing my name…
Don't get any ideas Jacob, Jared warned.
Me? Getting ideas from something Seth said? I asked with a snicker, Never
I could see our child now, a little girl with long black curls and Renesmee's dark eyes, lips and lashes with my nose. She was so perfect, every bit as beautiful as her mother, her smile was like a break of sunlight in darkness…
Hey, Jacob Leah cut in You know you can't lie to us right? We see everything you think
I know, mutt. I hissed, getting my own back for once What am I, an idiot?
Jared snickered
You forgot didn't you?
How the hell could you forget? Someone piped up.
I don't my mind was just a little preoccupied okay?
Oh god as if we haven't heard enough about Renesmee Cullen for one hour at least Leah moaned And we've seen enough to last a lifetime
I could see Paul was enjoying this, he sat across the circle from me, a huge grin on his face
What, do you think I like hearing you go on about my sister Paul? I asked him angrily, he shrugged.
No but I don't particularly enjoy hearing about Renesmee
At least you can sort of take some pleasure in admiring her I shot back with a snarl Because she's not your sister
He growled

So anyway, I breathed As I was saying…
Hey Paul, Jared said Isn't it about time you went running back to Rachel
I never run back to Rachel, Paul shot back I run away from you
Jared was unabashed by his stinging reply
Either way, we all benefit from the situation.
Quiet! I roared, my voice was hardened with birthright, the order of the High Alpha-the higher of the two- that nobody could refuse. Jared and Paul fell silent almost immediately. Good.
Paul, go, stay, I don't care, just shut up so I can get the record straight here?
He rolled his eyes
So, do you need to just 'run away from us? Jared replied, I growled, as if he didn't need to be pushed further.
Come to think of it yes, I am tired of your constant jabbering crap
He spat in the direction of the dark wolf and turned to leave, Sam sighed.
Paul! He called
What?
Go if you want but come back, I said Sam and I have to talk to you.
Whatever, it's probably something I'm not interested in anyway.
No, but it's something that will be set in stone and-
So if you disobey, I cut Sam off You'll be running with three legs, mutt. Now get out of here!
Oh and Paul? Jared cooed
Next time you see us, make sure you ask before you leave the house?
I warned you!

Paul stormed across the clearing towards a large mossy tree trunk about a mile from where Seth was standing. At first, we all wondered what the Hell he was doing, but then we saw what was going through his mind.
Panic washed over me like a numbing ocean.
Take cover! I warned.
Seth yelped and sprinted over to me, as I looked into his eyes I could see his desperation to escape, to avoid being smeared by the log that probably could've taken us all out if it fell on us. Leah lead Brady, Collin and some of the new kids I hadn't seen show up walked towards the forest swiftly while Sam dragged Jared out of target distance. Looking into Seth's mind, his thoughts were frightened.
Should we get out of here or something?
Yeah, I replied. I jerked my left paw to the empty space between the trees where Leah and the others had left a moment ago.
We'll follow your sister. I'm pretty sure she's heading to Jared's party now.
Okay.

We ran together, me taking the head with Seth at my left flank, cross-country out of La Push. I knew if Paul was on a mad rampage to take one of us out for no reason, he would never go to Forks, the only place where he might run into a vampire. He wasn't freaked out by the Cullens, but he held something against the ones he was still reluctant to call 'friends.' I had to admit, another reason why I left La Push was that the things Paul had said about Renesmee had really pissed me off and I really didn't want to have to deal with Rachel if I really munted him up. She would've attacked me. Still, I could've taken her, but I really didn't want it to get to that. I needed to cool off with someone who wouldn't judge me. Seth was the perfect person in that situation, which was why we got along so well. He followed along quickly, quietly, never once questioning a thought that came to my head.

I smiled to myself. He was such a good kid; he'd been through so much these past ten years, him and his sister phasing into werewolves, his Dad passing on, having to deal with a new stepfather and getting by without a girl by his side. He reminded me of myself when Bella was human, only my mother had died and my father hadn't remarried yet. I knew how he felt, even though I never said so. It was a sucky feeling, like there was some kind of demon on earth that had set out to screw up your life and bring you bad luck. It tore you up, made felt as if nobody cared about you, like you were invisible. Not really the best feeling when you needed happiness.

You know, I do listen to your thoughts, Jake, Seth's voice broke into my thoughts, impatient, butting in as usual when he was in danger of being forgotten. and I could hear everything you were just thinking before.
Right, I sighed, sorry. It's hard to remember sometimes, you're so quiet, I nearly forget you're there. He laughed in spite of himself, a hearty, rambling bark that shook the treetops.
I'm not easily forgotten.
No, I think we all know that. I snickered along with him.

We came to the river in walking distance of the Cullen house and decided that Paul wasn't stupid enough to follow us if he thought he had a chance at us. We untied our clothes from our ankles, took them in our mouths and waded into the water. I wasn't sure how deep I was supposed to go to make sure that we were covered waist down when we phased to our human forms, but I imagined going up to our shoulders would be acceptable in case some idiot happened to see us from inside the house. Seth evaluated my thoughts and nodded
Sure, that'll be more than enough
Good,
Wait, why are we drabbing up exactly?
In case Blond…I mean Rosalie or any of the Cullen's see us. I clarified and rolled my eyes. I don't really want Edward and Bella to take us to court for public nudity.
As if they would anyway, we could just reveal their secret, THEN you'd be in it.
Yeah, I know. And then you would be answering to a grieving me because I wouldn't have Renesmee.
Ah.
Yes, and I don't think you'd want to see me when I'm pissed off, seriously.
Oh I do, He replied, nodding his big head all the time.

We had reached our shoulders now and I gave him the nod to phase. We timed it perfectly, phasing almost simultaneously and I was happy to find that the water was deep enough to cover us from the waist down.
"Damn." I said, staring down at my hips where the water went to. Seth looked down at his own body and breathed a sigh of relief.
"What?" He asked in a confused tone.
"I was kinda hoping to see Blondie's reaction-" A small growl ripped through the air around us-"but then again, maybe not."
I hoped Blondie didn't have a problem with us doing this, but I didn't see any way around her. She probably would have had a fit if she'd caught sight of us naked walking around her house, what else could we do?
"Phase earlier?" Seth suggested. Well, obviously.
"If you don't have anything constructive to say, shut it Seth."
"Can do, will do." He sung. I rolled my eyes, exasperated.

Edward was waiting for us when we came up on the other side with a face like thunder, just as I'd expected. He and Bella stood together, stone still and holding hand like statues. I raised my eyebrow as we approached them. Even their eyes didn't move, they just stared at us. Not like that wasn't creepy, man, they had no respect for others privacy, maybe that sort of thing came from being a slightly stuck up vampire.
"Man, that's creepy." Seth whispered in a soft monotone.
"They're so still."
"You know they can hear you right?" I shot back.
"So, make like them and shut the hell up."
"Shutting, shutting, shutted." He said through a smile.

"Gah, you're useless." I chastised and looked up at Bella, whose expression had changed to a joyous smile.
"Jeez, could you two give us two minutes to drab up?" I asked and swiftly yanked my jeans up my legs as to not upset Bella and Rosalie, if she happened to be looking. Part of me sort of wished it had been Blondie that had come out with Edward, just because I would've been able to shoot her a moon to spite her. Edward's face creased with that thought.
"For the record Jacob," He said, his voice as soft as butter "She would've probably attacked you if you'd done that."
I grinned to myself
"All the more reason to do it, man." I said. I wanted a good fight with a vampire right now. Rosalie would be the perfect person to take on. Edward gritted his teeth, angry, but I could see he was struggling not to smile. Probably reading Rosalie's response to that in her stupid, blonde brain.

"We came early," Seth admitted guilty, he wrang his shirt out, having dropped it in the river, probably, and pulled it over his head. I followed his lead, pulling the sleeves down my arms so the shirt fit without difficulty.
"Yeah," I said
"Sorry, but Paul was getting all pissed off and starting to throw things at us so we thought we thought we'd get of there before things got real nasty."
"We understand, Jake." Bella giggled warmly, she crossed the space between us in seconds and wrapped her stone arms around me. I held her tightly and placed my hands on her waist. "I would've too."
She released me and moved onto Seth. Edward nodded in my direction.
"Sorry," He mumbled to me "but Renesmee isn't quite ready yet. Alice is helping her get ready."
I winced for Renesmee then. I knew she didn't enjoy getting made up like a babydoll, especially when Alice got in her moods; she was probably loathing every moment of it.
"She is." Edward confirmed my theory almost immediately "Every single second of it."

"Daddy!" My eyes darted up to the second story window to the south of the house where Renesmee's face was stuck out a window. She looked so beautiful, her bronze curls fell in cascades down her front and her light brown eyes sparkled with light excitement. I grinned in spite of myself. My angel had come.
"Is Jake…Oh hey, Jake." She waved in my direction, her smile widening "Hey Seth. I'll be down in a minute, okay?"
"Sure." I called back "Take your time."
She snickered softly and closed the window.

"A few things, Jacob." Edward murmured, so low I could barely hear him. He meandered in a circular motion around me, his eyes dropping to the forest floor to hide an expression I was sure he didn't want me to see. "Renesmee means everything to Bella and I. I'm sure you understand that."
"Yes." I replied. "I understand."
"And I know she means everything to you too."
'Yes, Edward. She does."
"I understand perfectly. But I will not be as generous if she is returned home hurt or upset in any way." His voice had changed now, it was like a serrated knife, cutting.
"I understand where you're coming from, Edward."
"And I know that you are more than able to protect her. But if any of those damn new wolves lose control and try anything with my daughter, then you'll be losing legs, limbs and everything in between." "
"Leg and limb?" I asked, my eyes widening; I felt my arm instantly cross over my chest to protect myself "And everything in between? I don't think you have the guts, man."
"You want to bet?" He said in response, grinning now at the humour.

Jeez, I thought to myself. A bit of an overreaction on his part; though I was hardly surprised. Protective father hen; trying to keep his daughter safe.
But what he didn't understand was that there was no danger.
Get a grip on yourself, Daddio. I've totally got this
"You know I can hear your thoughts, mutt." He began to lean into a crouch
Yes, of course I knew that. I just like pissing you off
"Well it's working."

I could see that he was all geared up for an scrap now. At first, I thought he'd been demonstrating some sort of flash karate move and before I knew it, I was flying across the forest only to smash my head into a tall pine by the river. Fire coursed through me as the anger exploded inside of me, it fizzled away at my joints and threatened to change me into my wolf. I shook my head; if that was going to happen, it would mean a fight and I didn't want it to come to that.

Edward stalked me across the yard, his eyes as dark as the black ocean. I got to my feet quickly, realizing he wasn't going to let up and held my hands up in defeat.
"Look, Edward," my voice was strange, like I'd been crying or something, good, might make him feel guilty." I'm not looking for a fight, okay?"
He shook and growled uncontrollably in front of me, like he couldn't handle something I'd said or done. I didn't personally get it until I tasted strong metal on my lips. Blood pouring from a large gash on the back of my head. Oh great.

"No excuses, you hear me?"
"Yes, I got it, Edward, okay? I always got it. But you can trust me. I'm in love with your daughter-" The first time I had ever really said those words without there being any complications, it humbled me."and you know I would never let her get hurt. Never."
He nodded.
"Good, but just think about what I said."
"I will."
"And no loopholes, hurt physically or mentally or emotionally, you'll not be seeing another tomorrow, Jacob."
I snickered to myself.
"It's on, brother."
And in a gesture older than my father, we shook hands.

CHAPTER FIVE
Jalice
Hunting

THE RIDE TO THE SIGHT MOM HAD CHOSEN WAS LONG AND-quite honestly-extremely boring. I was in a car with my cousin Rosalett, who was visiting from our university, now it was over. Alicia; Dad, Mom, Rosalie and Esme and none of these people were too advanced when it came to conversation. It had been so much better when Renesmee came on these trips. Ever since she was really little these had been our favourite parts of living together; the car was like a portal to any world beyond our own. We could be anything we wanted to be, be it a detective, a famous popstar legend or something strange we'd invented ourselves; it was mostly fun for me because we always got carried away and the fantasy almost became us. I guessed that's why she had to travel to the hunting area in a separate car from me since she had turned three.

I was never allowed out of the car when we hunted, neither were Alicia or Rosalett, but I hoped I could have a go this time.

Rosalett, who was visiting from Harvard was as good a company as a wet blanket. She used to be so much fun, almost as fun as Renesmee even; she had been part of our little portal game when we was a little younger and she had been the most creative and imaginative person I'd ever played it with until she graduated from high school and we went to Harvard she became so obsessed in trying to act in a proper and mature so the professors would like her to help her grades. She hardly spoke to me anymore, I was too childish for her liking. Pretty stupid if you ask me; you couldn't and can't have maturity and seriousness without having childishness and immaturity. It just wouldn't be a balanced world then. Harvard had completely ruined her sanity in my opinion. But I guessed my opinion didn't matter to her too much.

She gazed out the window at the blurred wall of green, I knew this was going to be another trip with no words like last time. This was why I never came home because I was stuck with Rosalett even more. I hadn't even brought my iPod.

Today it was wet in Forks but it was only spitting further. I hated rain, it was far too cold. We hardly got any blood on these days so I got yelled at for being the weak human who couldn't do anything. La Push was probably really cold now, Nessie probably wasn't enjoying it too much. Not that I drank any of it, I just ran with them and watched, like some idiot and helped out on the very odd occasion.
Mom and Dad sat in the front seats, Rosalie and Esme sat in front of us and Rosalett and Alicia sat on the left side of me. It was really crowded in here claustrophobia clawed at the closed windows and drummed around me. I hated this long drive now. I didn't even know how long it would take to get there; Dad seemed to be enjoying himself with this solitary mood. Mom; having being the polar opposite of Dad; leant over to talk to us.

"Well, darling." she said to me; her voice was cheerful; I snapped my attention to her. "How's Harvard?" Harvard? What a joke of a college that was. I wasn't sure how I could sum up the garbage it was in words.
"Fine." I answered, totally unoriginally. She shook her head, she was very obsessed with originality these days.
"C'mon Jal; sweet pea; you have to have something better than that. You've had a whole year of college tuition. That must have been eventful in some way."

Sure. Harvard was the best school since Stanford and it was full of snobby weirdoes who had as many brain cells as their ability to dance. My only friends there were my girlfriend, Skye, Tiffany, Nicholas, Grace and Jackie; two of which were the best football players on campus. They were probably the only non-stuck up people in my year; they only ones I actually got along with. I had also gotten a recent F- in the written section of both of my year papers. I was training to be a dancer and an actor, very strange, girly things to want for someone at this day in age but I wasn't going to tell her about my fail. She'd kill me first.
"Yeah very eventful all right." I snorted in disgust; Rosalett looked at me confusedly; I ignored her and kept my sight on Mom; she snickered at the inside joke she probably didn't get anyway.
"It was eventful for me, auntie." Rosalett butted it, annoying and showing off as usual. "I got an A+ in my exam this year."

"Great job sweetheart; A+ is some achievement...Speaking of which..."
Great. Her eyes flicked to me; she looked so hopeful and excited-Perfect-she wanted to know my grade. Since the teachers hadn't sent her a note about my expulsion I was free to make something up for a few days; I tried to staunch a frown and change it to a smile
"What about you?" she questioned
"Err..." I scrambled for some phantom excuse that was out of my reach now.
"I did okay. I got an A."

At the letter, something triggered in her sparkly topaz eyes; they became filmy with tears she couldn't shed and an even larger smile spread across her lips. Good of me; what a great son I was, lying to my own mother. This was a new low; even for me.
"Oh my baby's got a perfect grade! My little boys going to be a star."
I was so glad Uncle Edward wasn't in the car with us so he'd pick up on my thoughts. No doubt I'd be in a lot of trouble because I wouldn't be able to trust him picking through my guilty conscience. He'd probably try and tell Mom about it if he'd gone to rat I would've had to stop him somehow without killing him and to be honest it was a good thing that he wasn't in the same car because I couldn't be bothered getting revenge today.
Rosalett-who knew the truth-coughed uncomfortably to get my attention; I shot her a pleading look to shut her up, seeing my eyes, she solemnly nodded and looked away. Dad tapped Mom on the shoulder and she looked away.

Eventually; we got to the destination: Goat Mountain. It wasn't raining but it was snowing lightly, leaving a small layer of snow across the landscape. Alicia ran across the ground, spinning and laughing without a care in the world. Mom and Esme followed her lead, letting loose a little before all the seriousness. Rosalett didn't even get out, she just sat in the van; staring outside like a freak, like her husband, she detested snow. She sat in the very back of the vehicle fixing her nails with a file. I leaned up against the van and watched the three girls throwing snowballs and enjoying themselves. I probably would have joined them, but I just couldn't be bothered. I didn't notice Dad sneaking up behind me before he banged his fist against the side of the car. I jumped as he spoke.
"Lying is never a good thing to do, Jalice."

I shook my head at him. He couldn't have just figured something out like that. I tried to get him off the subject
"I don't know what you're talking about." I fenced; he rolled his eyes and reached out to squeeze my cheek.
"Look, son; I'm not as stupid as I look...Not that I look stupid. Rosalett already told me you got suspended from Harvard."
Damn Rosalett and her annoying ways. I gripped the frame of the window on the car as I felt myself beginning to tremble in anger. I finally found the strength to let go and restrain myself; he waited patiently like he understood that I needed a moment to calm down.
"Look, I'm sorry Dad." I whispered I leant casually against the cab again. I wasn't sure how he could be so understanding about this I guessed it was because he'd had lots of practise in calming himself. Probably raging inside secretly.

"I just didn't want to disappoint you and Mom." I said, my voice was very low. He took a look over to Mom, Esme and Alicia to make sure they were out of earshot and stared at me gravely.
"How could you fail that test Jalice? It was the easiest course in the whole godforsaken college for Heaven's sake!"
I bit my lip and stared up at the sky, I didn't even know how I could've failed. It had all seemed so simple what Dad used to tell me when I was a kid
"Jalice, let me tell you one thing...Reaching for the stars is for those who try but don't strive for what they want out of life. Those who strive for it reach further than the stars; they reach for the moon the sun and beyond"
Sure I had reached for the stars alright.
"I don't know" I replied meekly.
"I don't know how I could've failed."
"You know your mother's going to freak out about this."

At the words I leapt up and moved so I could see him properly; he raised his eyebrows like something particularly annoyed him.
"You are not telling Mom!" I shouted, stamping my foot into the snow. It melted on contact with my boots but I barely noticed. Dad rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"The letter will come sooner or later, Jal. You can avoid it much longer. She'll find out whether you like it or not."
"I don't care whether she finds out next Christmas!" I cried "You are not going to ruin it all by telling her why I've really come back. I'll tell her when the time is right."
"What if she finds out first?"
"Then I'll deal with it."

Uncle Emmett's Jeep and Uncle Edward's Volvo drove into the empty car park we were in; the snow chains spat snow towards us. It completely saturated me and the car; much to Emmett's surprise. I cursed to myself, pulling strands of it from my hair; some of it had already melted and was turning to water in my hands. Dad snickered to himself and ambled towards the cars, as he did; I heard him whisper.
"I know you'll do the right thing, Jal."
I didn't know if he meant right by me or right by Mom. I walked slowly back towards the car. Auntie Bella was talking quietly to Dad; their heads close together; probably about what prey was on the mountain. I threw open the door and sat in the back of the van. Rosalett was applying some dark gloss to her lips as she read two large pieces of paper, I leaned over her shoulder.

"What you doing?" I asked, she jumped and rolled her eyes when she realised it was only me
"Oh, it's only you."
"Gnaw, you're disappointed. I thought you'd be pleased."
She narrowed her eyes.
"Piss off, Jalice. For your information, I got these mailed to us in case you're thinking of reapplying."
I took a look at the papers, they had the Harvard motif on them. They were Uni applications. Oh; fantastic. She snickered to herself.
"I thought your mother would be interested to know why you came home early."
"No, she wouldn't!" I shouted angrily; reaching over and ripping the submissions to shreds; why was everybody threatening to ruin me today? Had I done something particularly wrong? Yes
"What is up with you, Rosalett?" I shouted"Why do you think you're so perfect? I may've gotten the boot; but at least I have the decency to spare my own mothers feelings." She clicked her tongue and lay back on the seat; I stood up when she moved so she could see my whole body clearly. I was serious about this, but she wasn't taking any of it in.
"My Dad's already figured it out, my Mom's not nearly as observant when she's happy. What makes you think it'd make any difference if she knew about it or not? I'm still her son it doesn't change anything"
"So why don't you tell her?" she said in response. "You've always hated Harvard. You were never going to last."
"True" I'd give her that. It wasn't exactly a lie was it? "but Mom didn't know that. I had to lie to cover it up. I was being selfless."
"But you hated it."
"You've already said that." I said, shaking my head. This was going nowhere; we were just going to argue and argue with no result whatsoever. I jumped out of the van, snow spat from my shoes as I landed. She watched me with an amused look in her grey eyes "By the way, that lipstick makes you look manly and that dress makes you look fat." I called over my shoulder. Very, very harsh words, but definitely necessary if I wanted to piss her off. I always got the last comeback. That was my rule.

While Alicia and the adults argued; I ducked behind a tree. "I don't think they saw me" I assured myself quietly; the snow I was sitting on was abnormally thick, I was up to my hips in it. All was silent around me I was alone in a world of snow; nobody would hear me. I leant into my pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper.
This was my lists of things I wanted to do in life. I had written it when I was three when I'd lived with my biological mother, Annabella Roosevelt, depressed when my Dad, Daniel Roosevelt had left her with me (Jackie Roosevelt at the time) and my sister (Lieanna Roosevelt and the time) It was before she had killed herself with the television cord and Alicia and I had been taken into foster care and I lost all faith in humanity. I looked over this everyday

ABIGAIL (Don't love anymore)
2. BE A SINGER
3. TAKE MOMMY AND LIEANNA TO HAWAII (MOMMY DIED)
DADDY
5. HAVE A DAUGHTER AND SON
6. HAVE A CAT- CALL IT BOB
7. GET RID OF IMAGINARY FRIEND
8. WATCH AN R RATED FILM
9. BE IN A SCHOOL PRODUCTION
10. HAVE GRANDKIDS
UP SOMEBODY Harry Myers
12. Get out of Harvard
Emily Young (STILL HAVEN'T ACCOMPLISHED) (Maybe not, maybe Skye.)

Most of these ideas were never going to happen but one was fairly recent and some I still had every intention of doing, like having kids, finding my real father; having a cat, becoming a grandfather and above all: marrying Emily Young (Now a Uley anyway) but I was pretty sure the last one was very slim. Emily was...She was...beyond words. Even the scars on her face made her look beautiful. I could stare into her eyes forever and still never stop loving her; they were oceans of brown, beautiful angelic, her hair was straight and fell past her shoulders; her dark skin was like chocolate. Lovely and unbelievable.

Of course Mom didn't know that I liked Emily. I had to keep it a secret in case somebody like Rosalett wanted to tell her. I didn't know if I liked her that much anymore, after the other night with the beautiful Skye, but I don't think anybody had ever seen this list besides my birth Mom who had encourage me to write it in the first place, I might've shown Alicia once or twice; probably because I could trust her with my secrets. I had made it my goal ever since I'd met Emily to marry her and have kids with her. Slim chance now.

I know this sounds really stupid, but I was desperate to be a father too. I had yearned for a long time to have a son or daughter, a young and innocent part of me who I could never lie to me and vice versa. I had always favoured a daughter, who my Mom could live though. A little Annabella of my own who I could cradle in my arms, sing to sleep; feed and teach. Even a son would suffice, a Daniel; hopefully a spitting image of my or Skye. Either would've been wonderful.

I shoved the piece of paper in my pocket and lay back in the snow; waiting for probably somebody to notice I wasn't there and come looking for me. Emily and Skye were both in my mind as I stared up at the sky; their nature as amazing and stunning as the sun. Eventually, I felt a tap on my back. Mom stood over me with a grinning face; her smile was vivid and her topaz eyes were lit with joy and surprise.

It had stopped raining when we left for Cancer Point and the sun had emerged from behind the shadows of the clouds. I was surprised actually, it was rather warm now; not that I would've noticed, I could sense the heat waves as I moved through the trees. The spot above Cancer Point that Mom and Bella had chosen this time was very crap. We only ever got small animals like fawns; not like the bears you got at Goat Mountain which Edward and I had suggested before we left but it was a very scenic route on the way and the a small cluster of caves were a nice stop. Renesmee and I used to enjoy going there while the rest went out hunting; visiting it reminded me of the child days. I was sure that I'd go there on the way back.

Most of the family were desperately parched in the throat so they wanted to get to the blood as soon as possible. Rosalett and her mother fell back around the quarter way mark to discuss a new clothing line in Seattle; getting carried away every so often so Carlisle had to stop to calm them down. I just didn't feel like socializing with anybody at the moment. I lost sight of them every so often which I guessed was good; I wanted to drown in my solitary mind. After a few minutes time began to drag. I could hear Mom skipping along like a gazelle next to Aunt Bella and Uncle Edward; bragging about me; it made my heart squeeze with guilt.
"My little boy is so amazing. He's so smart and intellectual; he's going to be an amazing dancer."
"I didn't know." Bella answered; her voice was grave she obviously had been talking about what Renesmee planned to do. "Nessie did very good when she finished. Teachers had nothing but good to say about her. Did Jalice's teacher tell you how well he's been doing?"
Mom's voice was bemused.
"N-No."
She shot a small, perplexed look like my alibi didn't make any sense anymore. I bit my lip and tried to make my face look customary and innocent, to be honest, it was very difficult not to look guilty when I was lying to my own mother. Somehow I managed.

When she looked away; I caught sight of Dad staring at me with a rather grave look. He could tell Mom was unravelling my web of untruths, it would take her a couple of weeks to figure it out. Unless the letter that Professor Whyte would or already had sent out to the address. As I was pondering this I suddenly thought of a quick plan; checking the mailbox every day before any of the family got a chance to look. That would work for a while...But I was pretty sure Mom had to write something back to notify them that she'd gotten the letter. I'd have to write it myself.
I nodded at him and he dropped his gaze; not looking ashamed at least.
When we got to Cancer Point; Rosalett began slowing behind Rosalie and Emmett, who had fallen into a loving stride close to their daughter. She held a hand to her mouth in the act of being sick and fell back towards me; I shook my head as our eyes met.

"Disgusting." She whispered; wiping the spit from her lips, I snickered to myself and rolled my eyes.
"You're no better; have you told Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett about you and your "hot" "I emphasized the sarcastic word; like it was a joke-Probably was.
"Relationship?"

At Harvard; Rosalett was having a secret relationship that only everybody on the University's campus knew about (and I guessed that Uncle Edward knew too; if he'd been picking through her poor; scarred thoughts) This moron Josiah who, only I knew about this, was really using her for the wealth. She had her husband Alexander who was an artist and their two children, Charlania-Rose and Alexett; who were just starting kindergarten. She was cheating on him because she was so lonely at college, unless it was vacation. Sure she loved her two little girls to death and I understood that. I had seen little Charlania-Rose with her fiery red locks and large green eyes and little Alexett with her blond waves and eyes like ice. She adored them so I understood why she wasn't telling Alexander about her loneliness. But...
I had been planning to burst his stupid; snobby little bubble at graduation. Not like my expulsion had drawn me away from that. I had a big plot to ruin him and Rosalett's little love. She was probably going to kill me someday; but she'd soon realize that I'd acted in her- Yes, her-Best interests.
I heard Uncle Edward snicker in front of me when he heard what was crossing my mind.
When Rosalett got what I was catching on to; she leapt back and shook a finger at me.

"No, I haven't and you, Jalice, are not going to tell them!"
I almost peed myself laughing at the volume of her voice. She probably didn't remember that vampires had an extremely amazing hearing. So, in a nutshell, they had all just heard what she didn't want them to know. Nobody spoke we just walked; Rosalett gave me an evil look and moved her eyes away not to look at me again for the whole trip. Being the dick I was, I just laughed; letting the image of Josiah's stuffed up sad face fill my mind. How he'd look when Rosalett would end it with him.

Dad and Edward got there first, snickering and yodelling like utter idiots; the females and Carlisle looked at them in disgust as Emmett ran to join their little immature play-hunt. I scrambled over the rocks; slid across the snow; leap across bushes like a hunting jaguar, pretending to be a vampire. Then I toppled over Emmett and Edward; who began laughing on the ground, I flipped over and over; smashing myself into a large boulder. On contact, there was a tiny sound and a pain in my head. Mom made a sound like we were particularly annoying animals at the zoo. Esme's eyes widened as she bent down to help me from the ground; her touch was mothering; not like the rambling pull she was capable of. When I stood on my own feet; wiping the snow off my backside and jean pants. Dad; Uncle Edward and Emmett had since grown up and were standing normally together. I sighed and straightened up my posture so I looked at least a little sane. Mom sighed as Esme and Carlisle lead the way towards the best hunting area.

We eventually fell into our groups. Mom, Dad; Edward, Rosalie and Bella took the left side of the mountain while Alicia, Carlisle; Esme, Emmett and I took the right side. Alicia and hid in the wings further back; Carlisle and Esme moved quickly but carefully and loving. I found that I could only talk to Emmett; who was the only one who looked like he was actually into the hunt. He grinned as I fell in place with him.
"Hey, Jal. What's up?"
I grinned. He seemed to sense my uncomfortable emotions as his smile deteriorated to a sympathetic smile; like he could see straight through me; I was transparent. For a moment, I felt completely naked. He snickered as my cheeks flushed.
"Nothing serious about the holiday then? No specific reason?" His voice was evidently saturated with suspicion. Why did I-of all people-suffer this hardship of keeping stupid secrets? Who could handle such a thing? I felt like just spilling the beans to him right there and then, but I eventually thought better of it and just kept my mouth glued shut.

I gripped the pocket that contained Emily's picture throughout the trip. I had been gone so long at least two years, I hadn't seen Nessie or any of my other family in such a long time how was Emily of all people going to react when I showed up, grinning with my new manly features? I couldn't be fully sure and I knew it was pathetic of me, but it was nice to have it there as a reminder that the girl I loved more than anything else on the planet was still out there somewhere...And not too far away either. I wondered for a long moment how long it would be until I saw her again? A few moments? A few days? A few hours? A couple of years? I had experienced all of those feelings before of knowing how long it would be until Emily and I were reunited. Now I knew we were so close to it; I didn't know how to react or what I would say to them. I had been talking to my family; seeing them, getting to catch up on lost time but my friends; my allies and the girl I loved...I wasn't sure how I could explain any of this to her. How would I tell her how much I loved her without it sounding like I was a total player? I was going to have to sort all of this out sooner or later. I just wasn't too sure how.

Finishing the hunt was quite a hard thing; Auntie Bella's group got a large doe two hundred metres South of Cancer Point and Dad and Edward took down, amazingly a grizzly bear North of High Held Rock. It was a gruelling fight so much that Dad had to jump in himself. Dad got a long scratch up his right arm and shoulder and Edward almost temporarily lost his left leg; Emmett took it down with Edward taking the lead and Dad getting all the credit Mom and Esme were telling me how great I had done for a human watching all that while Alicia just snorted in the corner. She was just jealous though cause I was suddenly Mom's pet.

At home; the house was silent and empty. Everybody else seemed to melt away and I was left alone, with a joke I called a house to take up my time. I took a glance at the clock: half past five. It had taken us one hour to get there, an hour to get back and four hours to fully get through the hunt. I had half an hour to get changed, but I couldn't. My mind was crazy. It screamed out: what will I wear? The question seemed stupid. I knew Emily would be there; after our separation, and taking in the fact that I wanted to make an impression wouldn't it have made more sense to dress up a little? An old tuxedo maybe?
As I pondered this, I had an instant revelation.

I remembered back in Victoria; where my mother Annabella had tried to bring up Alicia and I properly. Strange how when I remembered it; her face was so...How did I describe it? Clear. Not like I always thought of her; like I was looking at her from beneath water but like we were seeing each other again. She had taken Alicia and I upstairs on my third birthday; to the attic where we were never allowed under any circumstances; I recalled her sitting us down on one of those big trunks and moving to the south end of the room; were the dust bunnies and old, ancient shadows mingled, on reappearing, she clasped in her arms a tuxedo. I could remember holding it; stroking it's pretty silk.
"It was your father Daniel's." There were tears in her eyes as she spoke; pools of water in the green infinity of beauty, she seemed to almost have forgotten both of us were there because her voice and face looked vague; aged. I will never forget how broken she appeared; like her world had been shattered long before and there was nothing Alicia and I could do about it. I could tell that this meant a hell of a lot to her so I felt intrusive as I touched the silk and marvelled what piece of fabric she loved so.
"It was the tuxedo he wore on our first date and..."
She swallowed deeply; like she had a dark, dim secret.
"Our first kiss."
"And the wedding!" I had pointed out, feeling very; very strange as I did so. I had seen the pictures of the wedding six months before I was born a lot; they hung all over the house along with pictures of Alicia and I at soccer games, parties; Christmas and Thanksgivings. Dad looked so handsome in it unlike I would ever look and Mom was...A vision of beauty. Her long cobalt dress's train falling for hundreds of metres. They seemed like the best couple on the planet; never to hide away or break away from each other who would never take back their vows of commitment.
My birth in the first place had wrecked all that.

At the sight of her after I'd said that, I wished I had never brought the subject up in the first place. Her eyes seemed to die as she harked the kiss of marriage and the first dance, her dress whirling, before she had the burden of children on her shoulders; when life was as easy as breathing; where Daniel Roosevelt loved her more than anything else on the planet. I wondered then how she thought of life now; without her Daniel but with her Lieanna and Jackie.

"I want you to keep this Jackie, darling." she had said, she kissed my forehead and lifted me into her arms. "And you, little Lieanna." She had passed Alicia the long blue dress I remembered from the picture; Alicia had looked up at her in disbelief.
"You can't be giving me this Momma." she whispered; Mom had nodded
"Yes, my darling; you and Jackie are getting older and you should really be finding out more about your father I understand that now."
"But Momma-"
"No arguments Lieanna, if something happens to me; I want you to have everything your father and I owned. Starting with these. You deserve to know who your father is. I still sometimes hope he comes back you know. You do too, don't you?" Alicia and I both nodded; she laughed and hugged us closer.
" I should not have been so naive and left your dad in the shadows for so long-It's about time I left him behind."
Sure thing. I had thought.
It was so obvious she didn't really want to leave him behind. Just too obvious.

I found the tuxedo in an old trunk under my bed under the pictures of Mom and Dad's wedding; this was all their stuff. My real heritage. I spent some time having a look through it a photo of our family tree; the names spread out along the oaks leaves: Madeline Curne, Isabel Heady, all these people were parts of my history, my family and my blood. There were ancient photos of weddings in about nineteen seventy; little children sitting up in perfectly ironed dresses and tuxedos and-of course-the trunk was abundant with pictures from Alicia and mine's youth.
When I tried the tuxedo on, it seemed to slip on perfectly. The silk hung loosely around me like a curtain. I think I had worn this before, to an after party at my graduation I think I probably worn it to Renesmee's graduation too. I think that was what I was saving it for anyway. I guessed this party was the perfect reason to dress up for once in my life without looking like a total idiot.
It fit well/ I could give it that much. I combed my hair back a bit but it still seemed like a mission and it didn't seem to make any difference whatsoever. Eventually I just gave up on it and headed towards Alicia's room.

Alicia was sitting by her dressing table in a high waisted skirt and a short sleeved shirt. Normal; casual clothing; warm and fresh. As usual; her face was plastered with Mom's expensive foundation; lipstick and eyeliner, her hair was held back in a long ponytail; she looked like Mom. So beautiful.
"You look amazing." I complimented, I knew that her soul lived on through my sister but I had never seen her come through so strongly before. It would probably shock the hell out of Mom.
She sighed:
"Thank you, Jalice. You look great too...It that Dad's?" She eyed my clothing, I grabbed the corsage like her mentioning it had reminded me that it was there and nodded. She snickered and touched my shoulder.
"You look like Dad in it Jal."
"No I don't."
"Yes you do."
"No I don't"
"Lets not argue about something so ridiculous now." Alicia mumbled, leaning over and taking my arm; her touch was so soft, like an angel's embrace. I sighed.
"Alright."

"Shall we go now?" She offered, though she tugged me swiftly towards the door a slight feel of exasperation in her hold; I nodded.
"Where's Nessie anyhow?" I said, surprised the subject had come out of my lips at all.
I hadn't seen my little cousin all day; well not since I'd given her the present I'd brought, She was probably with Jacob Black and his wolf-buddies; pals, homies; whatever he called them. Sometimes I felt real uncomfortable with her being with him all the time on account that he had imprinted on her in the first place. If she made a move at the wrong time-Would that break her heart...Or worse? Would my precious cousin...Who was like my treasured little sister try to harm herself on account of him? If he did, I would make sure Jacob Black suffered dire and exceedingly painful consequences. Alicia bit her lip.
'She's with Jacob; I think he was bringing her up after they go to a movie."
"Where?"
Idiot!
"Dunno, why?"
"No apparent reason." I answered like I was some kind of riddle book.
"Well… Alright. We'll see her at the party kay?"
"Sure."
I couldn't shake the chill I had in my body, but I still followed her out the door,

CHAPTER SIX
Renesmee Carlie Cullen
The Attack

JACOB PARKED THE CAR BY THE TREES OUTSIDE JARED AND Kim's house and killed the gas, sighing as he stared out the window. Some cars were already there and the music was blaring outside at full blast. As I peered out, I saw people walking past in normal clothing; which made the new dress seem a little uptight, snobby and expensive. I almost wanted to hide in here forever and not even go to this party; I had a horrid feeling in my tummy too. Something was going to change tonight, I could tell, my life would be changed in some way or another. Jacob seemed to ignore, or at least not acknowledge my anxiety; he was calm; cool, collected. His hand was on the door waiting to get out or waiting for me to;
"Are you coming?" He asked and reached out to clasp my hand. It was so warm; so welcoming. I wanted to be there forever, engulfed in the soft, lulling mist that radiated around him like an aura. Of course, I couldn't. I had to go in.

When I got out; the air was crisp and cold from the fall of darkness. The music leaked through the thin air like a fish zapping its way through water. I felt Jacob's arm slip into mine, warm and nice; homey and longing, a smile spread across my lips. I knew I would be okay with Jake, my anxiety was unnecessary. He wouldn't make anything change; he would keep me safe unless he put me in danger for a perfectly sane and good reason. The paranoia I felt was just nerves. Well, probably.

The house was fairly empty because everybody was outside dancing. There were only four or five people here at the moment and Jared had claimed that they were expecting quite a few. Coming out onto the dancefloor; small rainbow Chinese lanterns hung from the smaller cedars; a long table concealed well by a white table cloth held enough food to feed the entire wolf pack for the week and small electric lights were twisted around the pines giving them a look of Christmas trees. The whole place belonged in a wedding reception; and a dream wedding reception at that. It was fascinating.
"Wow." I whispered. "Jared did a good job didn't he?"
Jacob nodded, smiling at the buffet. Hungry.
"Well, when Jared puts his mind to it, he can do a real good job."
"Well that's an understatement." I said, heaving in an impressed sigh.

"Hey Nessie." Jared's voice hollered. When I twirled around to look for him, I saw him weaving in and out of the dancers halfway across the dancefloor, waving out to him.
"Hey Jared," I called back with a grin. He had reached me by this stage and now held his arms out in front of him; an invitation I gladly took. Jared's bear hugs were the most loving; heartfelt hugs I beamed as the warmth consumed me like an ocean; he pulled away from me, his smile a mile long; a smile that I knew mirrored my own. Jacob and him exchanged a small high five and two strange grunts that made me raise my eyebrow, concerned.

"Hey Jared. How are you?"
"Great" He still wore the smile as he continued: "I bet youse still haven't guessed Kim and mine's reason for this have you?" I bit my lip, I had been trying to figure it out all afternoon but I'd come up with nothing.
"Nope." I said; shrugging, Jared turned to Jacob, he shook his head too. "No idea and it's getting on my nerves." Jared snickered and placed his arm around Jake and I. Maybe he was under the influence of alcohol; whatever, he was acting stupid. I peeled myself from his arms quickly.
"I'll figure it out. Believe me." I told him without a doubt.
"Yeah, sure thing, sure thing." He replied with a laugh.

Marriage, pregnancy, death...Whatever, it grated my nerves. I hadn't noticed until now but I hadn't eaten a proper meal since breakfast and even then I'd had to lick the deer blood out of the side of a rotting carcass with barely anything left in it. My stomach rumbled as I laid eyes on the buffet table and the party platters. Not as good as blood but a happy medium. Jared nodded and released Jacob. Slowly, he backed into the dancers, laughing.
"I'll leave you two kids alone." I sighed and turned to Jacob. He shot Jared a looked of annoyance then looked back at me; smiling.
"He's always like that."
"Yeah. Figured."
"Hmm.."
"Hey Jacob?"
My eyes were still on the appetizing platters that sat-meek and tasty-for the taking. My stomach groaned once again and my hands flew to it to shut it up; Jake raised his eyebrow and shook his head.
"Hungry?"
Oh no, it was just intestinal gas,
"Yeah."
He ran a finger through his hair and pointed at the finger sandwiches.
"Nice. I call dibs on them."
"Okay now you're just sounding like Jared." I grinned, but I knew he wasn't bluffing. To get in first, I walked speedily to the table and shoved my hand out to grab a plate before he had the chance. I took one of the sandwiches-ham and pineapple-and Jake took a cheese and lettuce. They tasted good fresh.
Emily must've made them.

"These are good." Jake mumbled through a mouthful of sandwich; I nodded and took another bite "They are, aren't they?"
"Yeah. I remember Jared saying that Emily was catering I'll have to tell her I enjoyed them later." I nodded,
"Sure. Same here."
I devoured the last of the sandwich and reached to take another. Jake beat me to it, taking the last ham and salad. Shooting him an angry look, I took a chicken and mustard. It was pretty ; not as good as blood, but close enough and enough to fill me with the same pleasure that came from good nutrition.

"Hey Renesmee."
I whirled around to spot Rachel moving through the small crowd towards Jake and I; a long scarlet dress falling like a waterfall down her body. As usual, much more beautiful than I was, in appearance and in clothing. Of course, I wasn't the bell of the ball, like I'd first thought when I'd tried this dress on.
"Rachel; hey." We embraced quickly but awkwardly. Pulling away from her, my eyes moved automatically to search the dancefloor. "Where's Meghan?"

Meghan-Sarah had been Paul and Rachel's first and only little miracle so far to grace planet earth a couple of months ago. As far as daughter's went, she was the best I had seen so far, and the cutest with her chocolate skin, large brown eyes and silky long hair. Suffice to say, I loved her to pieces; as did Jacob, her very proud uncle and Paul, her rapt father. They both constantly prattled on about their great little Meghan and how any other man would be so delighted to have such a beautiful child in their family. It got on my nerves sometimes; not that I could do much about it of course.

Rachel sighed and shook her head.
"Dad said he'd be happy to take her for the night. I'm still a little worried." She turned to Jacob who I hadn't noticed until now had moved to stand beside me and put his right arm around my waist; her expression was frantic. "Do you think Dad will be able to handle it Jake?" Jake smiled and ran a finger through his hair; making it come back to squeeze her nose.
"Really Rach; you're such a freak sometimes. Dad brought me up mostly on his own after Mom-"He trailed off; I swore I almost head a sniff at the last bit. Rachel's eyes glazed over a little, remembering.
"Anyway." Jake continued. "I think he'll be able to handle Meghan for one night."

"You really think so?"
"I know so. If you'll excuse me Nessie. I have to go and see the guys now; but I won't be too long I promise. I'll come back as soon as I've finished and we'll talk okay?"
My voice was muted as I replied.
"Sure. Don't be too long."
God, I sounded like his girlfriend. A spoilt, bratty girlfriend who couldn't get enough of him. Thankfully, this fact didn't seem to dawn on him or Rachel, their expressions never changed.
"It was a promise wasn't it?" Jacob asked me.
"Yes it was. And you never break any promises right?"
"Nessie. You know me better than anyone."
"Oh, I know." I replied with a laugh. It was too true, I did know him better than anyone, just as he knew me better than anyone. It was just something that came with being his best friend. "Now; go and talk to those guys."
I gave him an encouraging shove. He seemed reluctant, but finally, he began to walk over to them
"Kay," he said "See you soon."
And he was gone, weaving through the La Push residents to get to the wolves on the other side, leaving me alone with Rachel.

The trees stood out behind the lights by the setting sun. It was beautiful, everything about the peach streaked sky and the tall pines and cedars made it all look like something from a fairytale. I almost felt like Snow White in her little cottage in the woods; expecting some enchanted animals to jump out at any second and do some magical jig. I sighed and stared down at my feet.
"Shall we walk?" Rachel asked
I nodded, a quick movement, but I didn't lift my head.
"Sure."
We sauntered with no briskness in our steps; just a casual stroll into the tres. It was lovely to be able to pay attention as well as have a conversation with someone.
"So...My sister called."
That wasn't something I heard from Rachel too often, her twin sister Rebecca lived in Hawaii with her husband and...Four kids if I remembered what Jacob had told me rightly a nine year old Summer-Leigh, seven year old twins Hailey and Robbie and five year old Kristina.. She hadn't come back to La Push since the death of their mother Sarah so it must have been big for Rachel if she was coming home.

"That's nice." I mumbled. As she spoke, she pulled me into a quick but tight embrace.
"Oh Nessie, I'm so excited! I can't wait for her to come home after all this time!"
Her random hug put me off guard and she managed to knock all the breath out of me, I gasped.
"Let go Rach...You're crushing...Me."
"Oh, sorry."
She let her arms drop to her sides and we continued, though the grin was still plastered to her face.
"Practise tomorrow?" She questioned; without much general interest. I nodded.
"Last two weeks before your speech thing, huh? That's huge."

The thought hadn't even crossed my mind but now it did I just wanted to lament. The speech I was going to have to make on behalf of Forks for the regional debating group. Moot: whether Quileute legends should open doors to our beliefs today, supporting. Not only did it make me even more nervous, because I knew the real truth, but I was dreading walking across the podium in front of the township. Like my mother before me, I didn't have too much luck when it came to sports and trying to walk straight so pulling myself together for the one occasion wasn't going to be as easy as it would be for some. Rachel seemed to notice my silence but like everybody else, she took it the wrong way.

"I'll be there." She mumbled, throwing her arm around me. "and Billy and Jake and all the pack. You won't be alone on the day I won't let you."
Oh I knew that, but itg was also part of another fear of the day. With everyone from the pack there as well as Emily, Meghan, Rachel, Teresa, Billy, Grandpa, Sue; Claire and-of course-my own family; there was no denying someone was going to embarrass me from far away in the stands. I knew that I didn't want the spotlight if people who others knew as my friends fell through the bleachers or something. That would be the end of my life.
I heard Rachel's words, her soft voice the only thing able to comfort me.
"It'll be okay. I promise."
I nodded meekly though I knew someone would find a way to embarrass me.
Would the day I dreaded in two weeks really be the worst day of my existence?

Back on the dancefloor; things were really getting into swing. All the guests had arrived, besides Kim, who had never shown up in the first place, and Jared had set up a spin the bottle by a raging driftwood fire spitting blue flames. Someone must've sent Paul and Sam down to collect the wood off the beach or something. Rachel ran over to chat to Claire leaving me alone,, I didn't mind of course, I liked being by myself, it was just something I had gotten used to over the past few years. I moved to sit on the grass by the fire. I wasn't really sure what to do that would look human enough to be classified as normal, so I stuck my hands out to warm them a little. Paul's voice was screaming above all the muffled whispers, objecting to kissing some girl from the Makah rez, not that I cared, it was just a stupid game anyway. My nails dug into the grass; plucking a blade from its place in the soil I twisted it around my finger and tossed it into the flames. It only took a moment for the tiny piece to explode into a heap of fiery ash and soot. I bit my lip, sympathetic. I almost felt sorry for it.

Hours could have passed in minutes, minutes could've lapsed into hours and I wouldn't have noticed. Just staring into the fire, watching my friends and other strangers roasting marshmallows, telling ex rated jokes and discussing the failure of the school system was a nice way to pass the time. Even though it made me feel even more isolated than I had before because I didn't often associate with the outside world besides my own friends here. It had been an order from the Volturi, who were focussed solely on protecting our secret. I tried to use it to my advantage and stay as positive as possible but I still couldn't help but feel as if I was out of place here, like I didn't belong.

I stole a look to my left, expecting to see someone like Jared ready to natter away to me, but instead, I saw Leah sitting next to me,her pretty tear stained face looking empty and sorrowful. I had never really taken a look at her face properly before as she was an enemy of mine and constantly nagged when she caught me looking at her but now I really saw her, I realized that she was nice-looking, beautiful if not for her extremely short cut hair, all the anger and solitude had been bleached away and she looked so much younger and so much like her cousin, Emily, that it was eerie. I saw her dark eyes catch my own, but before I had a chance to stare down and look ashamed, she snapped her eyes to the right, where he brother was babbling away to a pretty girl from the Makah. She looked so innocent, which was something in Leah Clearwater. She shot another look up at me and after a few minutes, her eyes went cold, which forced me to tear my eyes away.

"Nessie...Nessie!"
'Huh?"
Jacob had moved to sit in between us, slinging his arm around me and pulling me into him, I took that gladly, snuggling into his side. He grinned to himself.
"How are you?' His voice was safe and genuine, I shrugged.
"Okay I guess...Why?"
"I dunno."
I looked around, everybody had melted away into the house, even Leah; I moved my eyes frantically, confused.
"Wha-Where is everyone?"
"Ha. You must've drifted off." He snickered, stroking my face lightly with his thumb. I knew this would bother any normal girl, but he was my friend and nothing else so what did it matter? I managed a weak smile for his sake. Why not?
"No, I'm sure that I didn't."
"Jared told me you did. Maybe you were daydreaming who knows? But you did look a little tipsy."
"Aww, I'm flattered. Where has everybody gone anyway?"
"Inside, Emily served up pudding, Jared and the guys were in there in a flash."

I guffawed, I couldn't blame them. The aroma coming from the open door of the house was certainly appealing, Emily's homemade chocolate ice cream and custard; probably the most heavenly dessert to touch someone's tongue. I almost wanted to barge in and slam them all out of the way to get in first. I just couldn't be bothered.
"Don't blame them." I muttered, giving him a little shove.
"Go on, go in. I'll be fine."
I expected him to move straight in but he waited, arms outstretched as if to cradle me like a baby.
"Aren't you coming?"
I smiled and shook my head.
"Uh-huh. Go ahead, get me some if you like. I'll be in in a moment."
He waited another second, confused.
"Go on. Get in there and hog all the firsts. I don't mind missing out. I'm not too hungry anyway."
"Well okay."
He moved hesitantly towards the house, still having his arm out towards me like he wanted to yank me into his chest again.
"I feel bad."
"Just go Jake. Honestly, I won't be long."
He shook his head.
"Your funeral."

I sat there, watching the fire spit down; I must've been staring at it for at least twenty minutes or so before Jake had shown up; since then the fire had definitely subsided; leaving tiny green flames spitting up meekly as if they were trying to attack me but couldn't. I sighed, stood up and moved inside.

In the kitchen, a small amount of custard stuck to the side of two massive platter bowls and chocolate liquid oozed from the ice cream carton. To my surprise, Emily had left a bowl out for me with chocolate sprinkles and a glass of something red which made my throat squeeze tightly, blood of some sort. I wondered how Emily had gotten it in the first place and shuddered.
Taking a nip, I noticed that the taste was deep, warm; almost like melted chocolate which was something I had never experienced before, it almost shocked me as the pleasant substance trickle down my tongue; to the back of my mouth and down my throat. Who on this Earth could resist such satisfaction from one sip of blood? Beside my family; I wasn't too sure about that one. Maybe the Volturi but they didn't really count and all the other human drinkers, maybe even the vegans but I guessed that carnivores got more contentment from their diet. I let the second lot of blood linger in my mouth, just to let it sizzle through and cease the fire around me. It took a few sips, but I managed to get the blaze in my dry throat. I prayed that would hold it for at least a few hours. A bloodless body pissed me off.

It is difficult-I'll admit-to take a vampire off their feed, even a halfblooded one. Usually it was impossible for any of us to concentrate when we were feeding. Nobody else applied when you had a chance to stop the fire inside you. I was pretty sure nothing could distract me from my feast.
Unfortunately, there was a sound like breaking glass in the next room which knocked me off guard, the glass fell from my hands and sent the precious blood right across the lino. There it lay, weak and tasty, spreading like a contagious disease across the floor.
"Damn it!" I cursed; the other room must've had the same idea as well as the same problem because the whole house erupted into whispers, sniggers and unintelligible mumbles.
"Paul!" Rachel's cries leaked through my eardrums; it was pretty obvious then what was going on. I had seen Paul and the others skolling back the drink earlier.

I wasn't exactly and idiot; I knew what happened when under the influence of alcohol. Mom had tried to explain it to me once before I went out with Jacob to a party similar to this. I had never really listened, since all the wolves parties had alcohol and I always drunk responsibly, but I always remembered something she had told me
"When someone brakes a glass while drunk, break up the party before you get a serious fight."

Moving as if I was in a race, I loped into the longue. Quil was standing on the table like some sort of strip model, Jared had gotten Paul into a headlock and had shoved his head towards the broken beer bottle and Rachel was screaming, yanking pieces of hair from her scalp; crying out for someone to stop them. I ran to the scene with no thought as to how to act. My original plan was to pull them apart and get rid of the glass, but some things I could not control. But Jacob was faster.
Everything else was a blur from start to finish.
Paul's arm reached to yank Jared's hands away from his neck, letting himself free. I reached for the bottle, clammy hands took it away just before I got a grip. Then I saw the glass far up, being raised. The terrifying knowledge took hold as I realized that it was going to hit me...

Then there was something else. A flash of blue, of red; moving with shockingly inhumane speed. Behind Paul, a pair of crimson irises stared down at me; a bloody mouth opening to show a pair of scarlet teeth...
I screamed.
A vampire.
The stranger that had been stalking us, probably.

"Break it up!" Fast, blurred voices, screaming, shouting. I felt so drunk as I pushed myself across the floor as fast as I could, as quickly as was possible to escape those piercing eyes. Maybe I was, maybe some idiot had spiked the punch like last time and the whole lot of us had gotten off our faces. Still, I couldn't escape the terror My hands manoeuvred over shards of bloodstained glass, discarded bottles of alcohol and abandoned records; but I didn't care. Who would when this was the end? The stranger was going to kill us.
We were all going to die.
Everything was spinning so fast, everybody in the room moving so quickly that my sight was a blur. I wanted to scream, so badly it hurt, but I couldn't find my voice. It was trapped under the weight of my body.
"Get away from me!" A male voice shouted, Paul, I guessed.
My hands finally found the door, my fingers gripping the handle and slamming up against the locks to get it open. We didn't have much time, death was imminent. Behind me, everyone was still shouting.
"Ugh! Get off! Move!"

Finally, I was able to push the door just far enough to topple out of the room onto the soft dewy grass. I landed flat on my face, my bronze hair forming a curtain around my face as the others inside still quarrelled, but there was a new sound now, a hissing that clouded out everything else.
"Seize the girl!"
Blissfully unbeknownst to the crowd inside, I scrambled to my knees and sprinted towards the back fence, where I knew the woods anxiously awaited. If I was to believe the voice-and there was no way I was not going to do that-then the safest place would be there, a place where I could lose the entity, where I could hide as easily as possible. I leapt over the picket gate and threw myself for the gap in the trees, a scream was so vivid on my tongue, I could almost taste it, but I couldn't let it escape from inside of me in fear that it would give my stalker a sick sort of joy.

I ran so fast then, pushing myself forward, forcing my legs to run a long path I made myself through the towering trees. If I could just get far enough, maybe the person would give up and leave me alone…
"Get away from me!" I shrieked into the trees, where I knew the person loomed, following me on the most silent route. I still ran, faster now, as I tried to reason with it.
"What am I to you? Leave me, leave all of us, we don't want you here."
I knew I was just being stupid, what entity was going to listen to a measly teenage girl who was nothing on her other acquaintances and allies? I was nothing in this game, a mere pawn, something they must've felt was more vulnerable than anything else. Something they could just pick off and flick away without much show.
They were probably right, but I knew I wouldn't go without a fight.
"Leave me alone!" It took everything I had left in me to tear my eyes away from the trees and concentrate on my attempt to escape; it was just like trying to ignore something in the shadows of the street that you know is there, a pathetic, fruitless attempt that left me even more terrified than before.
And I bolted.

I couldn't stop, I knew I wouldn't. I flew like lightning along an unmarked path, so determined to escape that I didn't falter until the lights of the party had become nothing more than tiny twinkles in the blanket of night before succumbing altogether. There was a pursuit behind me, I could hear it, a deep snarling from deep in someone's chest that forced my legs to move faster, for my breath to turn into shallow pants as the forest path got more and more confusing. I tripped, I stumbled, even felt the sting of tears as I smashed my face a number of times, but I knew that nothing was going to stop me from getting away. Nothing had to, unless I stopped it.

I wondered for a moment, if the others were even aware of my absence, since the voices that I had heard back at the house hadn't exactly been ones of terror. Had there been others that had wormed their way in to scare the daylights out of them? Were they lying dead now, in pools of their own blood, because I had ran screaming and let them know our weakness?
I wasn't sure and it tore out my hearty to know there was a small possibility I would never know. But I realised that I couldn't let that influence me, remembered my mission.
I was trying to steer this vampire off course as well as save myself.
I was trying to save them, to save all of us.

After another two minutes of running, I came to a massively steep hill I knew I would never be able to climb, I frantically searched left and right for a way up, but there was nothing, just the hill climbing endlessly into the skies. I could feel my breath hasten, my eyes turn to massive marbles as a dark figure fell from the trees and slammed into me.

I dropped like a fallen bird, smacking my head into something icy and hard. I screamed and let my hands fly to the earth beneath me.
It was cold and wet…Bloody.
The person who had knocked me over stood over me now, smiling, their lips curled back over their teeth in pleasure. It was a female, of that I was certain, the dress and long black locks were far too bright to be male, but there was nothing about the face that was familiar, just beautiful, as all vampires are, caked with makeup, her familiar red eyes hid their terror as she laughed.
"Who are you?" I demanded, my voice shaky.
"Your worst nightmare!" She snarled back. I felt myself cry out again.
"What?"
"You heard me." She laughed.
"You're dead, girl. You can join me and my sisters in our fight."
She dropped to her knees and pressed her hands around my neck; immediately, I felt the strain it put on my breathing as she grasped it in both hands.
"What-do-"
It was so hard to speak, so hard to even utter a word with her hands around me, pushing tighter into my skin, but I could just manage. The words slid through my lips like serpents.
"You….Want with me?"I shrieked. I tried to push against her, gathering all my weight into one blow as I slammed myself against her, but it just made the strangling worse.

No matter how hard I tried, this wasn't going to work, this would never work. I was going to die….I was going…..
Make it fast, make it quick, as fast as blowing out a candle in September…

"Nessie. Nessie, hey, wake up! We're home, you have to get up." Jacob's soft voice whispered in my ear
"Huh-Wha?"
At first I had no idea how I had gotten here, how I came to be on this comfortable seat in this warm car. Maybe I had imagined the entire night. But of course I had to kill that possibility as I felt tight arms around me, constrictors almost
I had fallen asleep.
Crap.

Outside, it had gotten a lot darker, the atmosphere was colder and the violet clouds had eclipsed the moon, stamping out whatever life the cold, heartless night had left in its depths. In the distance, I could see a brilliant light that bought out the shadows and outlines of other things as everything became clear. We were parked outside my house, probably well past midnight for all I knew, Jake was sitting in the driver seat, his smiling face soft and gorgeous, as per usual. As I looked closer, I could make out a figure standing in a pool of light that I vaguely recognized as the front door of my house. Mom or Dad. Probably on account of reading Jacob's thoughts and getting all the dirt on the latest events in my life-I sat up straighter and rubbed my eyes.
"Where am I?"
How I had managed to get from the middle of nowhere to Jacob's car was still a puzzle to me, I couldn't piece it together...
"You're at home." Jacob assured me in a quiet voice, trying to keep it together, obviously.
"You followed something into the woods during Paul's fight. It tried to kill you, but Quil and I got it. You're okay now, okay..."
"Okay," I whispered, leaning into his side, pressing my face into his shoulders.
So warm.
"Thanks Jake. For all you've done for me. I really appreciate it."
I heard a soft laugh, whether it came from inside or from his chest-I wasn't entirely certain, but it didn't matter when he placed his chin on my head; his jaw moving slowly. Mocking me? Chewing gum?
"Don't mention it." He sounded as if he was serious too.
"You better go inside huh?" Voice soft, though slightly pained to see me go; I didn't want to. He had been so good to me. I wanted to repay him. Now.
I knew I couldn't.
Not tonight.
"Yeah." I mumbled, half conscious.

The door opened slowly, I only had time to see a pair of pale hands reaching to lift me, almost dropping dead, from the car.
"Get away from my daughter you filthy mutt!" I heard my Dad shout.
"Dad, stop it!" I mumbled, it was nothing, not one cut on me, no blood or anything, they could all see it, then again, I couldn't exactly bleed
"Man, Edward, calm down." Jake's voice replied, how could he answer when my Dad was speaking to him like that? Like he was scum?
"It wasn't my fault. She was going to try and separate Jared and Paul and she…I dunno, ran off."
Dad didn't even hear him
"Don't you start that crap with me, Black." He snarled.
"I know everything."
More hands on me, softer, perfect, manicured. My mother.
"Momma?" I whispered into the haze that was my vision.
"Right here, my darling."
"Of course you do." Jake said
"That's the problem."
I knew this would enrage my Dad, I had to calm him before he got too pissed.
"It wasn't…" I began
"Don't defend him, sweetheart." Dad said
"He and I had an agreement and as you can see, it is now void, as you were harmed in some way-" He spat the words at Jake; by the sound of it, this was not going to end well.
"Remember earlier today, Jacob? When I took your sorry face and threw it across the forest, I'll take great pleasure in doing that again."
"What, for something that wasn't my fault?'
"You promised."
"Promises find their way through loopholes."
"I said no loopholes."

I don't know how I managed, but I willed myself to open my eyes. Momma had me in her arms in front of Jake's car and he was hovering over me, stroking my hair, paying no attention to my father, who was steaming behind him.
"Nessie!" He whispered in relief when he saw me come into reality. He stroked the top of my head and kissed my nose.
"Nessie, Nessie. You're fine, you're okay."
"Of, of course I am." I replied, straggled, terrible voice. Like I had barely ten minutes left to live, like the voice that had come from my lips in the Volturi-Renesmee-Old-Lady dream
"There's nothing wrong with me, I'm fine. Daddy, stop it!"
"To Hell you are. You could've been killed if nobody noticed..."
"Edward," Momma whispered from above me, I could see her hair as it fell beautifully to her waist, tickling my nose, softly soothing my burning skin. She reached out to touch my father, who looked as if he was about to leap onto Jacob and end it all.
"Now is hardly the time. It's too late, you knew this was going to happen"
"What are you talking about?" I asked, I stole a look at Jacob for a look of confusion, but I saw something in him I had not been expecting. He was gazing at my Mom's face with a look of understanding, like he knew exactly what she was saying and agreed with her. Mom was quick to put my mind at ease.
"Nothing, dear. Just adult stuff."
"Well, I'm an adult."
She laughed; the sound of it was like pealing bells
"Hardly. You're barely seven"
"Looking." I reminded her.

I knew, just by looking into her topaz eyes, that this lecture was a charade of messages. It wasn't really meant for me, but for someone else. Jake or Daddy, maybe?
I didn't know who, but the evidence was certainly there.
"Anyway, that's beside the point." She turned back to my Daddy.
"The point is, it was always coming. We need to accept this for what it is. Very powerful."
"What are you babbling on about?" I quizzed suspiciously, so this was all about me now? What exactly was she referring to? Jake and I's friendship? Maybe. Something to do with us? probable.
Something I needed to know? Certainly.
"Bella," Daddy was pacing now, backwards and forwards, in circles, left and right, breathing restlessly. Jake watched him bemusedly as I did.
"I've made a decision."
Mom sighed.
"Oh, Edward. Be fair!"
"No. I'm not taking this anymore. Renesmee is lucky to have you, Jacob, you are my closest friend, but I am so mad with you right now and I need to think about her safety. Jacob, you are to leave this house, now, get in your car and get the Hell of my property."
"So you mean that I can take Renesmee to the cars in town tomorrow?" Jake asked, his voice hopeful
"Because they're one day only and you know how much she loves them."
"Jake, that sounds real nice-"
"No, I didn't finish." He cut me off
"You are to leave this house…And never come back."

"What?" All three of us echoed. Suddenly, it felt as if my entire life was coming crashing down and dying, leaving the ashes with nothing to help them start again. Nothing was real anymore, things that warmed my heart once like fairy-tale and human touches were now icy dreams that coexisted with me, meaning nothing. My family became dark clouds of watery mist that hung in front of me, my father being the cloud, the rest the water, being forced to follow suit. The ice in my heart would return once Jake left and he would never come back to take it away. My family would continue to cloud my vision, to hold me back and protect me from things I didn't need protection from. They would never stop, never rest until I was perfectly safe, follow me everywhere, hold me back, any lengths my father would have to take, he would take them.
Like my mother before me, I suddenly felt overcome, like I was choking with the claustrophobia of this overprotective charade. Daddy could not be serious, had to be joking.

"You heard me," he said, as I felt the tears coming, I saw something in his own eyes, protective, fatherly pain. Desperation to save me from something I did not know. Like I was too young for him to give away to adulthood yet. Pleading with me to understand.
If he did this, I would never understand. I would never forgive him. I'd hate him eternally.
"No!" I cried
"No, you can't be serious."
"I am, one hundred percent."
"No!" Jake and I shouted together, I leapt from my mother's arms, having to fight her a little until she gave up, and threw myself at him. My arms flew blindly, legs kicking whatever they could. I couldn't let this happen, I couldn't.
I tried to tell him not to, tried with all my heart, but all that came from my lips was unintelligible.
"You can't do that Edward!"
"Too hell I can't!" He shouted, I felt his hands running across my body, trying to grab me and pull me off him, but I was too fast. I crawled from his front so I was sitting on his shoulders. I kicked his stomach and smashed into his head with my fists.

"Please, Daddy. No, no, no, no!"
"I've made this decision because its what's best for both of you,"
I was surprised he was able to speak with me-the spoilt brat daughter-jumping all over him.
"It's not best for any of us." Jake spat, his voice growing more and more intense as my father paced faster.
"Just you."
"Don't you dare speak to me about what's best for my daughter!"
"Well, I know this isn't it. Locking her up and hiding her away from growing up and becoming a woman isn't the answer, Edward."
"I can give it a good hard try."
"Edward, this is ridiculous!" Momma shouted, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders to stop his pacing and bit her lip. She-If no one-Could get through to him.
"You know what happened was accidental. Jake has always taken care of her. It was one mistake. And besides, Renesmee needs to make her own dec-"
"If she makes any decisions in life, I'm going to be sure it's not to have children-"Choking on every letter like he did, made me want to be sick.
"With this sick mutt. Unless, of course, he's already done it himself." He spat into the grass
"Against her will."
I stopped hitting him when I heard the full extent of his little speech. Have children with Jacob? That would mean…..S….. The S word. And not only that, he believed Jake was actually capable of hurting me. Capable of doing the unthinkable. Unless I really did want him to, and I did love him.
I recoiled from the idea I had never even considered, and never would. It just seemed too strange, imagining Jacob and I in love, getting married, declaring our love, kissing and having the S word. I couldn't think it, couldn't even say it, afraid at what might come to mind. My father, of all people, was smart enough to know that I was not type of girl, not one that imagined that kind of thing in a friend, who saw that potential. All I saw in Jake was friendship and, even if I did want him in that way, I was too young to ever act on it, at least not yet. How could I? It would ruin the friendship.

All of these things, doubled on the many other abusive words I intended to shoot at him, could not be summarised in the space of a few words.
"That's sick!'' I cried out, well, there was one.
"Is that what you think this-"
I gestured between Jake and I
"Is?"
He frowned
"It has the potential to be, if that pup gets any ideas."
I stole a look at my mother, who was staring, baffled at both Daddy and I as we carried on with our argument. It was pretty clear that she had never, in her wildest dreams, considered the idea of Jake and I having children, but she was now, and she didn't like it.
"Edward, you know Jake would never do something so-"
"Sick!" Jacob spat out the words, he stared at my father in disgust, like the idea made him want to hurl, well, that stung, a little.
"You don't really think I would ever do that to her without her consent?"
"You're capable of anything. Look at you and Bella."
"That's ancient history. And even then, it was one kiss, not…"
"History repeats itself, and you're very persistent."
"Not in this case."
Daddy rolled his eyes.
"Just an errant thought. Or maybe not."
His choice of quote made me narrow my eyes
I raised my hand, willing myself to hit him again,

"Calm down, Renesmee." I heard Carlisle's voice, the same voice I had heard whispering in the trees at the back of my mind earlier. He emerged from the trees, followed by all my aunts and uncles, Esme, my cousins Alicia and Jalice and Rosalett, Rosalie and Emmett's adopted daughter. Strange, I thought she was off at college. They all stared at me in pity as I continued to try and hurt my father while he tried to pull me off. I gazed up at him with crazed eyes and shrieked.
"He can't do this! Jake's all I have."
"I know, my dear. Believe me, I do."
"You know I would never… with Jacob, don't you?"
A silence rose up from around them, everybody was doubting what to say.
"Well, you seem so close-" Jalice shouted.
"Oh, please." Jacob muttered
"We're not like that."
"Just friends." I said.
"Right." Jalice grinned
"But Edward, man, that was uncalled for."
"He's right, Edward." Carlisle said, he gazed at his son with pity and sadness, like he never thought he could ever stoop so low.
"Jacob is a kind and generous young man. He would never take advantage of our Nessie that way."
Everyone around us nodded.
"You don't wanna know what he was thi-"
"Shut up, Dad!" I shrieked, I was crying again, the whole ridiculousness of this setup taking a severe toll on my emotions. So that's how my father saw me, a tramp.
"You can't let him do this, Carlisle."

"I'm afraid its out of my power, my Nessie." He smiled apologetically.
"If it was my decision, I would never make Jacob leave, but-"
"But?" My voice raised a few octaves.
"But Edward is your father, your legal guardian." His head drooped, regretting everything he was saying now.
"He can make Jacob leave. If he thinks its best, you're his daughter. He can control who sees you. If he wants."
I bit my lip, I could feel the edges of loneliness playing at the corners of my heart now.
"But, Jake's my best friend."
"Believe me," Esme whispered.
"We know."
"How could you?' Jacob cried from behind me, I whirled around to reach out for him, he reached for me and hugged me close. I was pretty sure I heard Rosalett and Jalice immaturely pretend to hurl behind us. So? I didn't really give a crap.
"How could you vamps understand anything?"
"Oh, I'm sure we can," Jalice laughed
"Jacob-" Mom's hand touched his shoulder, he let go of me and shook her arm off.
"You too, Bella." His voice was beyond pain, I could tell he was feeling the same as me. Momma sighed
"Jake, now's not really the time…"
"Why not? We're best friends, too. Once we're like brother and sister, remember? You know exactly how I feel, how she feels because you were there once, with me, you still are. You can't let him do this to us."
She took a deep breath and sagged her shoulders.
" I'm so sorry, Jake. Edward, honey, let's get Renesmee inside; it's freezing out here."
Not that it would have made any difference to her. She came immediately up behind me and swept me into her arms, at first, I fought, but then I saw her face was desperate to get me inside and out of this situation, so I relaxed . Dad nodded
"Yes, of course."
Dad's voice seemed miles away, like he hadn't even been here for most of the conversation.

"Sweetheart?"
My father turned to my mother, holding his free arm out.
"Shall I escort you inside?"
"Is that what you think of me, Edward?" Jacob called as Mom and Dad carried me away
Dad didn't even turn to face him
"I'm sorry. I misinterpreted a tiny thought both of you had simultaneously. But it doesn't change anything. Get out, take your wolves away, and never come back. Go to Hell for all I care, take your hellhounds, take a hike and leave my daughter alone. Never come within fifty miles of our house, this friendship between our two tribes is officially over. We can't handle your pack's slack with this animal that's stalking us, if we hadn't well, maybe it wouldn't have gotten so close to jumping over that fence at the party and finishing you all off…"
So the party had been slacking off? One night, one mistake? What did it matter? I was safe.
"And seeing what happened in your thoughts, seeing at what your mutts can do to my only child made me realise that this is a completely lose-lose situation. You, Jacob Black, are all wrong for my daughter, and you'll never see her again, never subject her to any pain from here on out."

"Please, Bella?' Jacob asked my mother, his voice had retreated from the double echo of a powerful Alpha to the tiny little boy that still hid inside of him somewhere.
"Back me up here?"
"I'm sorry Jake."
She had betrayed us now, gone to the dark side. I bit my lip, the tears were coming, I knew it.
"When I was human, I was never able to understand why Edward was so overprotective for such unnecessary reasons, but I was naïve. I have a child now, and a family, and if I lost her…I don't know if I'd be able to live."
"I know." Jake said
"I feel the same way."
"But…Edward was so overprotective because he didn't want me in danger, no matter how small the risk, because I was all he had. Nessie is like that with me, she's my baby. What happened could happen again, and next time, it won't be just a playfight, it will be someone who comes to intervene, it will be a big, dangerous fight…. It could be my daughter's life on the line."
"You know I would never-"
"You've said it before" she sighed
"I would never let her get hurt. Yes, Edward and I believed it once, but if this keeps happening, these wolves losing control, people keep hurting her, excuses pile up until they become lies. Like this creature. It could have killed you all, could've dug my daughters grave for her. I can't risk it. You need to go."

I was barely taking anything in, the shock from today's events had left me unable to move my lips and I could feel the tiredness closing in. But I was just conscious enough to hear the silence that followed Momma's words, the pain as it sunk in. I was sure I could hear Jacob crying as he said.
"In that case, let me say goodbye to the little angel."
"She's tired." Daddy told him.
"Maybe not."
"Edward, let him." Momma snapped.
"J-Jake?" I whispered, barely awake, I tried to conjure up his image and failed.
"Here, here, darling. Right here."
I felt his hands touching me. As soon as he did, I felt all my problems immediately disappear, leaving me free of emotion, something I needed, even if it lasted only minutes.
"Well, alright." Dad sighed. "This is the last time you'll see her Jacob. So say your goodbyes!"

The last time? No, NO!
I could feel the emptiness I felt without him coming back at my Daddy's words, swooning over me like an ocean so I could barely breathe.
"No, No! Jake!" I jerked and wriggled about in Momma's arms, trying to find a way to escape. I couldn't lose Jacob! Not now, when I needed him, when I wanted him to stay with me.
"Let go of her!" Jacob barked, there was a terrible razor blade edge to his voice that made me shudder, I'd never heard him speak so rudely to anybody, least of all my mother. "She wants me."
"Jake!" I screamed, I tried to throw my arms out to find him, but others held me back.
"Don't go, don't leave me here! Jake! Please-"
"See what you've done?" Dad screamed.
I heard him lift something from the garden, I think it was the large boulders Emmett had placed there earlier today-And a crashing as something landed not metres away from us. I shivered, but I was still unabashed.
"Don't hurt my Jacob!" I shrieked. Emmett and Jalice both snickered at that.
"My Jacob." Jalice laughed under his breath
"I'm writing that one down" Emmett chortled
"Please, don't hurt him! Jake, where are you?"
"Leaving."
"No he's not! Over my dead body he is."
"Don't argue with me, Renesmee."
"No, I've let you have your own way ever since I was little, but not anymore."

I continued to wriggle and scream"I don't want this. I don't want you to leave Jake. I never want you to leave, stay with me. Please stay."
"I will," I was surprised I heard him above all of the terrible things that were circulating my mind at that moment, but it was there, clear as day. "As long as you need me"I opened my eyes and gazed up at him as he held my face in his hands, his face light and beautiful, as usual, so that it made me want to burst into tears. I could feel them now, the little pricks of ice salt-water at the sides of my eyes, cascading down my cheeks like waterfalls, my weak eyes unable to hold them back. I could see in his dark eyes that what he said was true, that nothing could pull us apart, in spirit. Best friends eternally, bound together as two bodies with one soul. Forever and always.
"Thank you, Jake." I mumbled "Thank you…"
"My pleasure, just to see you smile."
I felt his lips at my cheek then, so warm that I held his face there. Just to marvel at the feel of his warm breath on my face. Forever together, whatever the weather, unbreakable, invincible...
That tear, one tiny tear…

"You've gotten her all upset now." Dad cut in, he could see the tear, he knew my pain, but he has misinterpreted it. I felt his cold, icy hands at mine, yanking them away.
"I've known for a while you were all wrong for her in terms of a relationship This just proves I was right."
" For Gods' sake! Can we not have this conversation now?" Jake asked in a frustrated tone "Look, Edward, you can yell at me all you want, I already feel bad enough for letting it happen-"
"You should." Rosalie sighed, but, as per usual, we ignored her.
"You can rip my throat out for all I care," Jake said "But it's not fair on Renesmee. I know all you want to do is protect her, but stopping her from sleeping is just wrong. Look at her, she can barely keep her eyes open"
He was almost shouting now, a beautiful, yet terrifying sound.
"Jake," I whispered, sleep was closing in on me now, I could feel it, coming closer, drying my tears.
"Say your goodbyes," Daddy mumbled, his voice angry.
"Before she falls asleep." So this was it then? The final goodbye before the never-ending pain? The death of our friendship. I could feel the tears, but I resisted, holding them back for this one beautiful moment before the pain began.

"Jake?" I whispered because I wasn't sure if I would be able to get a logical statement from my lips without bursting into tears.
"Right here, baby." He replied. I felt hands at my temple.
"Jake, you can't leave. No, please don't-"
"Goodbye" He cut me short
"My Renesmee, my pretty angel. I want you to know that I'll never forget you. You've been my everything, the reason I'm still standing, the man I am now. Thank you for being my friend, thank you for giving me the privilege of knowing you."
I was dumbfounded, my mouth hung open in shock at his words. So this was it, then? Goodbye and carry on living. How could I? How could he?

Inside, I was bawling, screaming, pleading for him to stay, pleading with Mom and Dad to let him carry me to bed and hold me, whisper stories in my ear, kiss my hair when I got close to sleep, tuck me in and lie with me, in his arms. I wanted him to do it every night, every day, with us never moving, eternally, but I knew I could never bring myself to do it, never ask him to do that; such thoughts were forbidden in this world. Such realities just dreams, for them to become real, everything in life would have to change.
The wolf boy and the vampire human girl could never work as friends. I guessed I had known that all along, that someday, our friendship would end this way.
"I'll miss you every day for the rest of my life. As long as I breathe, you'll be with me."
"And you to me."
"I'll miss you."
"I know you will, but not as much as I will miss you."

I wanted to reply, but his voice was lost in the wind. I could see the crescent moon and the clouds above, moving too fast across the sky as my father ran as fast as he could. All too soon I heard the creak of the cottage door, the crackle of the fire and their hushed voices. i didn't bother to listen to anything they said, all I could think about was Jacob, gone and never to come back to me.
I fell asleep on the third stair.

7. Renesmee Carlie Cullen
What I Would Become

THE WEEKS THAT FOLLOWED WERE THE WORST AND MOST painful days of my life. Without Jake, without his smile and friendship, I felt as if someone had taken away all the things I needed to survive. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't walk, I couldn't speak, I couldn't eat, couldn't function. The pain that lingered inside me was more than what I used to feel when I was alone, without Jacob. It had gone from the stinging throbs I had previously come to know as the worst hurt I had felt to a tearing, crushing pain that engulfed me and became impossible to ignore. I couldn't even hold myself up straight, the pain coursed from my chest to every point of my body, which forced me back down into the soft white sheets of my bed.

I don't know how deeply I had retreated inside myself at this time, but I was so out of touch with reality that even when Mom came and read me Romeo And Juliet, I heard nothing, I only saw the movement of her lips as she tried to bring some emotions out of me. It was my favourite book, one I adored, but I couldn't hear anything. I was too out of touch with the world. It was as if I had gone into a coma after being bitten by the rare African snakes, I was left paralyzed, dead, but aware of things around me, nothing could save me or bring me closer to reality, I was stuck like this, maybe forever.

***

Thankfully, I didn't need much medical attention; but on advice of my father; Carlisle placed some dressing around my arm to avoid it getting cold in the retreating weather. I lay on my bed, gazing at the ceiling as Carlisle worked on my arm, the entire household around us, watching.
"It could've been worse." Carlisle smiled as he wrapped my arm up in the bandage Alice had found in the First Aid Kit, staring out to the sunrise with ancient eyes. Jalice was his second side man, passing him over some more dressing when he asked for it, watching in awe as my grandfather wound dressing around my perfectly clean arm another three times before holding it together with a safety pin. I thought about something my father had told my mother before we had seen each other for the first time after my birth.
"Her skin seems about as impenetrable as ours. Not that anyone would dream of testing that." I had never had any scabs or cuts as far as I knew, and I hadn't now. So Daddy had been right.

Carlisle moved his hands, showing to me that he was finished, and marvelled his work proudly sort of like an artist would admire their creations. Sure something to be satisfied about, binding up your granddaughter for fainting. I studied every flaw of the ceiling, not bothering to meet the eyes of anybody else in the room.
"You must've been pretty drunk to faint just sitting there." Emmett jeered from his haven behind his P.C screen; I raised my eyebrow. He was trying to make me talk. Great.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll navigate better next time." I spat the words, though I paid for it, the pain tore at me again. Mom gazed down at me in disbelief
"She's talking?"
I closed my lips and shook my head.

"As if you could." Jalice snickered
"Stop it Emmett, Jalice, please." Esme moaned, she was sitting politely on Emmett's La-Z-Boy with a massive hardcover in her lap, thin legs crossed like a royal in the Kings Court, innocent topaz eyes pleading with them. Emmett sighed theatrically as Jalice turned to complain back
"But Gran..."
"No, Jalice, dear. What have I told you about picking on people? And Renesmee, for the eleventh time, do not worry your mother. It's not fair." I didn't exactly know why she thought I was doing anything wrong. All I was doing was writhing in pain while Grandpa wiped alcohol across my arm. A real bad girl, I was sure.

"She's not doing anything, and anyway, I'm finished." Carlisle sighed, he took the wet cloth from my arms and placed it in a small bowl of water.
"I must compliment Rachel and Kris's first aid skills. I never knew the tribe knew so much about that sort of thing."
"You'd be surprised how much the Quileutes know on account of new technology, Grandpa." Jalice huffed, getting off the makeshift bed next to mine for emergencies, I heard it creak under his weight, which wasn't a lot.
Just then, I head a cry.
"Renesmee!" Alicia. She leant over me, her face joyful. I rolled my eyes.
"Mmmm?" Out of sight, out of mind. I was barely here, all I could do was move my lips slightly as to not set off the pain again.
"The phone's for you, but I can understand if you don't want to take it."
"No, I will." I took it from her and slowly held it to my ear. "Hello?'
I was expecting it and it came, right smack in the gut so it knocked out all of the air in me. I wondered why I didn't crumble. Or at least curl up in a ball and die.

"Hey Nessie; it's Jared."
Wow. Jared. Now that was something I had not been expecting. I had thought Jacob, calling in to check on me or Paul, upset and sincere, apologizing profusely. But Jared? That was something new.
"Hi, heard about my state?" I asked with a slight bit more animation in my voice.
"Yeah I have, but that's not why I called."
"Oh?" Why else would he call? He continued without fail.
"Um...I wanted to apologize for the way I acted. It was stupid at its best."

The pictures came flooding back, though they were blurred with time. The hands, the screaming, the slow movement...Stupidity at its best? That was an understatement.
"You got that right. Now I'm forbidden to see any of you." I thought about hanging up on him for a minute, but decided they were too harsh words to leave him with. "But I'm not mad, just upset."
"Well I'm glad one of you isn't." Referring to Kim, ever since the events of last night, I had been deathly afraid of Kim; wondering how she would react to the broken china, the story that seemed so ridiculous. Strange, that he should mention her at all, she had just slipped out of my mind.
"How bad is she?"
"Well, she's pretty much torturing me by playing Justin Bieber." Oh god. I felt terrible for wishing that upon him, maybe my situation wasn't as bad as I thought. Still, the throbbing in my heart continued. He may have been a wolf, a friend of Jakes, but he did nothing for the pain.

"God, it wasn't your fault. It was an accident."
"Thanks, but it was." He waited for a few seconds. Probably waiting for me to say something which I wasn't going to. When I didn't reply, he continued.
"I guess that's one of the risks of hanging out with werewolves. We get a little carried away sometimes."
"You think I didn't know that already?" I whispered, voice cracking.
"I suppose so, I mean, look at Em."
Yes, Emily. Her ruined face leaving her never fully smiling yet she still had the most beautiful grin I had ever seen. She had been there when Sam lost control...
And survived. Affected but still able to live to tell the tale. Did that make what happened to her meaningless if she was willing to leave it behind her?
"Do you think hanging out with werewolves is smart?"
I shrugged. "I guess so. For the protection stuff right but I don't know. Are you considering ditching us?" I tacked as an afterthought, he sighed and laughed.
"No way who else would I hang out with?" Anybody. If there was a person anyone and everyone could love no matter what, it would be Jared Cameron.
Still, he had good enough friends now without making new ones to replace us.
"True." I whispered,
"You know she blames you."
I took a deep breath in with and the pain getting worse. I knew she blamed me-And I hadn't done anything to hurt or offend her in any way.
"I know and there's nothing I can do to make her stop?" I asked, half-heartedly
"There never is with her." There was a long silence, like the ones you could slice in half with a knife.
"Oh, anyway Ness, I gotta go. Yeah, sorry. I'll see you…Well never if your Dad gets his way. But I reckon you're pretty cool." the phone clicked
"Yeah, sure." I murmured into the dead receiver.

I gazed at the buttons on the phone. I knew what I wanted to do now more than anything else, to call him, my Jacob. I had already tried, but my father had cleverly blocked all the werewolves' numbers from all of our phones, making it impossible to contact any of them, even though I was only really banned from seeing Jacob
"Jake." At first, I thought saying his name would kill me, or at least send me into some sort of heart attack, but I felt nothing but the silent shell of letters that made up his name lingering in my mind.

All those promises we had made each other, all those secrets we had kept, stories we had told to one another, dreams we had shared, smiles hugs and tears were still fresh in my mind. They were so strong, I could feel them. After all this time, I could see that this all meant little to nothing now because he was gone.

I was not Renesmee Cullen anymore, the girl with a laugh you could hear a mile away, who kept the promises she had to and never lied. The one girl you could "always come to when you needed someone to talk to." I wasn't the Cullen Girl, the one my old classmates used to whisper about, the one who was quiet an unsociable, who kept to herself and buried her face in a book or school project, who nobody wanted to know, who was a show off, a nerd and had a "thing going on with that bare chested guy" Not Baby Girl, the one that the nomads referred to when they visited us. The one who was better known as a smart vampire hybrid kid with the amazing gift, the one who didn't care that she and her family surrounded herself with large uncontrollable werewolves who "couldn't help but take their shirts off"

I wasn't even Nessie, who my family and the wolves knew as the real me and loved, the perfect daughter who could do no wrong, the giggly, bubbly chatterbox with an "infectious smile" who believed in the most bizarre of things like unicorns, zombies and angels. The very things people said could never exist and were largely thought of as fantasy. Nessie, the one who would much rather read Down the Rabbit Hole and What Alice Found than Vogue and Seventeen, who would prefer to watch Edward Scissorhands, The Wiz, Red Riding Hood and Alice in Wonderland than the usual, normal programmes. I had been the girl who might've been thought of as weird anywhere else but was loved by all who knew her well. She understood everyone and "showed" her opinion when she thought it was needed, who stuck by her friends sides through thick and thin, who believed there was nothing more powerful than the human heart.
I couldn't find the will to be any of those girls, not Renesmee Cullen, Cullen Girl, Baby Girl or Nessie, because my werewolf friends had helped shape me into all those things. Jacob had encouraged me to be whoever I wanted to be, unlike the rest of the world.

I could never stand out without him, it seemed so impractical. Without him, I wasn't the girl who could lighten up a whole room by the sound of her laugh; I wasn't what anybody could call a good person. He was the man who brought out the best in me and shaped who I was. Without him, life didn't seem worth living. Life was a trap, I was the rabbit and I had foolishly fallen down. I was dead; dead walking.

CHAPTER EIGHT
Jacob Black
PAIN

EMBRY CALLED ME ON THE SECOND WEDNESDAY AFTER Jared's party, but I wouldn't take the call. The pain had gotten worse since I had had to get in my car and drive away from the Cullen house. It was like my insides had been yanked out, leaving me with nothing but the bleeding wounds in the flesh. Endless bleeding, I wondered why I didn't run dry. I had no energy yet alone enthusiasm to so much as lift my head from my pillow so I didn't have the words to speak to anybody. Sam tried calling me on Thursday, but I made Billy hang up.

I knew I worried my family. Billy had tried to make me feel better after he heard what had happened from Paul. Unfortunately, he got it in his head that it would be a good idea to take away all my responsibilities. They were the dues we all had to pay if we lived in this house; things I usually hated more than anything else like housework, the gardens, dusting, washing the car. But now I had nothing, I wanted nothing more than to have taken on all of the household duties to escape this pain; would've gotten to my knees and grovelled gratefully at the foot of my father, if he had given me that opportunity, given he couldn't do it all himself., Unfortunately, the house guests got the worst end of the stick.

Rachel, Paul and Meghan had been staying with us for eight weeks now; they had needed a place to stay while they were looking for a house in the village. This meant that when the chores got taken away from me, they were gladly handed over to them. Of course, with all of the responsibilities, it looked like they were going to have to extend their stay, if they didn't find a house soon. Rachel didn't seem to mind, despite my selfishness. She did the chores happily, humming as she danced through the house with a feather duster, she even did her bit to try and make me feel better.

On Monday, she made me a massive chocolate cake with pink icing and the words The Greatest Little Brother arching across it in perfect hand. Excellent work which I had rudely moaned about and turned away. Tuesday, she rented my favourite movies from the store in town. Usually, I would have leapt up and down with excitement at the titles. Saw IV, Mirrors, Kill Bill all the movies that me and Renesmee used to watch together. My heart bled when I saw that and I suddenly couldn't breathe. I turned away and ran to my room as fast as I could.
Wednesday, she piled Meghan, Paul and I into a car, even though I protested like Hell and drove us to Port Angeles for dinner at TGI Fridays. It had been nice, but I hadn't been able to stomach the food. Without Nessie there with me, it just seemed wrong to eat, I got down a plate of dinner and manfully swallowed the smallest portion of cake and ice cream I had ever eaten in my life. Of course, I hadn't been able to keep it down for too long, I vomited it back up in the bathroom before we left. Feeling bad, I insisted on paying, which pretty much destroyed the whole purpose of the night which was, ironically, dedicated to trying to make me happy. All I received from that night was an unfilled stomach and an empty wallet.
Thursday, she took the taxi with Meghan to Hoquiam and brought me home the greatest car parts she could find, which I had to admit, was impressive. There were things in the pile that the other day, I would have started screaming about, but I felt nothing as I looked at them, just the desperation to get rid of the pain that was just getting worse with all of Rachel's efforts.

The pain was far too strong for me to feel a single ounce of good.
And I was doomed to it.

chapter nine
JALICE CULLEN
Escape

My mind was silent as I ran, not a thought or a voice to sooth me out of this ridiculous anger. For a moment, I almost wished I was a gargantuan shape shifter like Jacob. I would've given anything right now to have what he had, the ability to shift from one form to another, to lose myself in something else. That would've made me feel more free, less myself.
I ran without thought until I reached the river, I skidded to a stop and peered over the edge of the cliff. The murky water swirled in circles far below me, spinning with a force I knew would pull me under if I tried to cross. My eyes strayed from the raging water to the land on the other side, it was a beautiful bottle green in the sunlight and the trees and plants grew infinitely around each other, winding into each other's trunks and leaves, slowly but surely killing each other. Just like human life, we all tried to grow together, but we were all doomed to the same fate, no matter how hard we tried to escape it.

I knew at that moment, I wanted to be wild. I wanted to run free in the forest, unbound from any laws or rules, alone in my mind, soul and being, nobody to intrude on my silence. I wanted to break away from my family someday and go off on my own, with my Skye at my side...
I wanted to be a vampire.

Although I thought it really sucked that vampires were stuck with the weight of thirst on their shoulders, I had to admit, it seemed tempting right now. Just to run off into those trees-the river nothing to my reflexes-And kill whatever was in sight. Animals, humans...Did it matter? As long as my thirst was fulfilled it shouldn't. I'd have no worries and no woman to hold me down. Free to do whatever I wanted without having to suffer any consequences from what I left behind me as I ran. They could've all been like that, us Cullens. We could just run into the forest and kill whatever we came across, be normal vampires, rather than keep up this ridiculous human facade. What were we trying to prove, that we had a soul? How could we when they had been lost in death years ago. So what were we still doing here, trying to sustain human life? Bring on the blood and guts.

I jogged back home, with a feeling of cheeriness in the pit of my gut as well as a lucid idea of what I was going to ask my mother when I got through those doors. Screw the party, screw the stupid dogs and their celebrations and screw Alicia and Nessie. I had been waiting ever since the first day I had been fostered into this family for this. Since that very moment Dad had told me what the family were, I had wanted to be just like him and I knew now that nothing was going to stop me from getting what I wanted. I was going to make them turn me into a vampire tonight, or goddamn my soul.
"Ask them." I muttered. Taking a deep breath in, I took another step forward.
"Ask them to be a vampire…Ask them…"
"Wanna be a vampire?"
A voice asked from the dark tress above, one that I hadn't expected so I leapt up in the air. There was a snicker from behind me.
"Whose there?" I ordered into the darkness, which was the dumbest thing I could've done. We've all seen horror movies, right? It was a death wish.
"Do you really want to be a vampire, kid?" Another female voice questioned me. I shuddered at the sound of it, so raspy…So scary.
"Y-Yeah?" It seemed to be more of a question than a statement.

(THIS STORY IS CONTINUING, I'M WORKING ON IT)