Hi! This is a re-arrengement of the current prologue of my fic: The Friendship That United Them. Since I'm going to write a new prologue, I decided to turn this one into a one-shot. So, enjoy?
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
In the Hokage's office, the Sandieme Hokage himself was sitting and relaxing in his chair after signing his latest dozen of paperwork. 'Now this is what I call peace:' he began to ponder while he leaned more to his chair. ' Konoha is at ease yet boring, Konohamaru's soon going to a ninja-camp and I haven't received so much ruckus. Yep, this couldn't get any bori--'
To break his mental ramble, an ANBU member bursted into the office, and cried out, "Lord Hokage!"
Sitting normally in his chair, the Sandiame turned out to hear out the ANBU member. "What is it, fellow ANBU member?"
"We found this villager text messaging on his cell phone!" the ANBU member exclaimed and in that exact moment, two other ANBU members entered the room holding captive an anonymous young lad villager.
The Hokage looked confused. "I don't understand; what's so bad about text messaging? And why his face is censored?"
"Because he was text messaging this!" the ANBU explained as he gave the Hokage the leading brand cell phone, also censored. He read the following on the cell phone's screen:
Y0, b3-y07ch!
Wh4?
1 kn0w wh0's 7h3 9 74ils f0x in 7h1s v1ll4g3!
S3r10us?
Y34h dud3!
G37 0u774 h3r3!
F0k u. 1'll 73ll s0m3b0dy 3ls3!
U-0.
Wh4?
Th3 4N8U's 0n my 4ss!
Run, b17ch, rum!
S33 y4, b3-y07ch!
The Hokage just finished reading the text message and the ANBU member spoke in panic: "See, Lord Hokage? What are we gonna do? If this keeps spreading on every cell phone in Konoha and the other villages—"
"Calm down. I am going to handle this."
"Whew!" The ANBU said in relief.
Sarutobi turns to the accused villager, "All right, villager, what is the name of your cell phone's company?"
"The Chakra Network." replied the young censored villager with a fearful tone in his voice. Ironically, that's the title of this one-shot.
"And do you know what happens when anyone spreads the word about the Kyuubi?"
"Uh I get into jail and get a fine of 25, 425, 658, 136, 857, 163, 875, 164, 016, 94.89 dollars?"
"Correct." He nodded.
"No, don't sent me away to jail, Lord Hokage! My mommy won't be happy about this and she'll kick me out of the basement for sure!" he begged and cried.
The Hokage sighed. "All right, since you're underage, I will give you a light punishment." The villager sighed in relief before the Hokage continued. "We're raising your phone's bill, add hidden fees...And, no internet nor radio, neither long nor short distance calls, no more text messaging, no more downloads, we're taking away your bluetooth, no camera nor speakerphone functions and most importantly, no free weekends!"
After hearing the "light" punishment, this made the young villager to scream in agony and pain, kneeling down to the floor, "Noooooooooooooooo!"
"Get him out of here!" and with that the ANBU members left the room grabbing the now punished-whimpering young villager, "And I put a tape in his mouth too!" the Hokage demanded and added.
"Yes, Lord Hokage!" said the three ANBU members in unison before taking away the punished villager out of the room.
Sandiame looked satisfied, 'Another job well done...' he thought, then thinking of a way to demanding the number one leading cell phone company in the village, The Chakra Network, for the incident of not too long ago.
No, he shooks his head at the idea; as our Shikamaru says: it is too troublesome and consumes a lot of time...
He now thinks of a better measurement: send a member of the Hyuuga clan to "gentle fist" the chakra-cell phone system to stop the chakra circulation, so then the company closes down its operation in the short run. Now this is a better idea than sueing for large amount of money and hiring a lawyer-nin.
Ooookay…that's our Hokage!