Writers Notes: I don't know how many people still read McLeod's Daughters fan fictions, but I just found them and have been madly writing. This is my first ever fanfic, so please if you read it please review. DISCLAIMER: I do not own or profit from this story. All Rights Reserved to © 2001-2008 Nine Films and Television Pty Limited, South Australian Film Corporation & Millennium Television Pty Limited, All Rights Reserved.
Summary: It's the day of Alex Ryan's wedding to Stevie Hall, but is he going to go through with it. Still with the memories of Claire haunting his dreams and reality will he give his heart to Stevie or to Claire's spirit?
Background Info: Alex Ryan: Alex since Claire death hasn't let anyone in, apart from Tess, but when she and Nick leave to live in Argentina, he lets Claire's spirit take hold of his life. Alex trying to forget Claire proposes to Stevie with good intentions, till his subconscious mind takes hold of him again.
Rating: PG (Supernatural Themes.)
Characters: Alex & Claire, Alex & Stevie
Alex Ryan looked over Killarny from his bedroom, watching Marcus in the shed and Ashleigh on the veranda, he sighed. Today would be the day he would marry Stevie Hall. He looked over his shoulder, his tux lying on his bed, Claire's red doona made it stand out. He turned fully striding over to the bed, it lit by the morning sun, the silk red doona glistened he looked at the top of it, were he 4 years ago sat a diamond ring on it for Claire. His eyes prickled with tears, as he gently touched the material, he wanted Claire, he wanted to marry Claire.
"You getting all girly on me Ryan?" a voice came from behind him, he took a breath it was her, he turned to see Claire on the windowsill,
"Claire," he breathed looking at her smile, that smile brightened his day,
"Who would have though Alex Ryan settling down," she smiled as Alex looked at her wide eyed,
"I was going to with you, Claire I want you back," he exclaimed with tears his eyes,
"You can't Alex, it was my time," Claire said walking up to him,
"I want to marry you Claire," Alex said as tears fell down his cheeks, Claire looked at him with a sincere smile,
"Marry Stevie, you need to let me go, please,"
"No, I don't want to forget you,"
"You will never forget me Alex, I'm here," Claire said putting her hand on Alex's heart, he broke down more, tear's fell heavier, he looked up Claire was gone,
"No,' he whispered looking around the room frantic, until he was interrupted by Riley. Riley stood shocked at Alex's reaction,
"You right mate?" he asked frowning,
"Ah yeah," Alex answered turning to face Riley,
"Yeah, um you ready?" Riley asked uneasy that Alex had tears in his eye,
"Um I might actually go for a drive," Alex announced walking past Riley to his Ute. Riley looked on confused, 'what an earth was into him?' he thought as he made his way to were Marcus and Alex were now stood,
"No mate it's bad luck," Marcus said as Alex started his ute,
"I don't care I have to go," Alex said adamant,
"Why?" Marcus yelled as Alex drove off, spraying dust out the back, it rose to the blue sky twisting and turning obstructing Marcus' view,
"What's up with him?, todays meant to be the happiest day of his life," Riley said walking over to Marcus, both dumbfounded by Alex's behaviour,
"I have no idea, but he better snap out of it," Marcus said as he and Riley both walked,
"Yeah Stevie will kill him if he's late," Riley laughed, Marcus shook his head smiling before they went their separate ways.
Alex got out of his ute, and breathed deep, the smell of Drover's comforted him, but also haunted him, the endless years he wasted with Claire was all it reminded him of. The wind rustled the tree that stood tall towering over the 4 graves stones that stood in the paddock.
"Claire Louise McLeod," Alex read aloud, his chest tightened that name hurt him at times but comforted him at others. He knelt down and ran his finger over the letters.
"Alex what are you doing?" Claire asked agitated as she appeared above him, he looked up, she was gorgeous, he just wanted to embrace her,
"I take you Claire Louise McLeod to be my wife," he said holding his hand out to Claire, she curled the side of her mouth up,
"Alex you can't marry me, I'm not alive," she answered confused, he stood eye level with her, her eye's he was lost in them,
"Alex Marcus is coming, please leave ," Claire stated looking over the hill,
"No, I'm not letting you go I love you and I'm going to be with you," he hissed before Claire vanished,
"Alex!" Marcus called from on top on the hill; he spotted Alex and rode over to him, "Alex! You've been gone for almost an hour, what are you doing?" Marcus asked frustrated,
"Nothing just leave it," Alex snapped back,
"Look mate, I dunno what's got into you, but you're getting married in less than 6 hours so you better pull yourself together," Marcus said getting off his motorbike, he walked further over to Alex and spotted the grave sites, Alex was silent he looked at Marcus who read the names on the tombstones,
"Who's this?" Marcus asked still reading the messages that were engraved in each tombstone,
"Jack McLeod, the fourth owner of Drovers Run who died of a heart attack, his first wife Prudence, who died giving birth to Adam there," Alex pointed the small heart shaped tombstone, Marcus nodded turning his attention to the tall grey headstone,
"And this," Alex breathed, "This is Claire Louise McLeod, the daughter of Jack and Prudence, the cousin of Grace, Regan and Jas and the….. the love of my life," Alex said sighing, Marcus looked up at Alex who was staring at the headstone,
"When did she?" Marcus asked cautiously,
"2003, in a car accident, I was going to asked her to marry me, but I didn't get a chance, she died," Alex explained as a tear fell he wiped it away quickly,
"You still love her mate?" Marcus asked as they began to walk to Alex's Ute, he nodded, as he got into the cab. Marcus shook his head as he got onto his bike,
"You should…" ,
"Just leave it alright," Alex cut him off, he began to drive back to Killarny.
Alex sat in his tux on the bed, with the picture of Claire, his hand shook as he touched it, he just wanted to scream her name, to just hear her laugh, to touch her, to kiss her.
"Alex mate you ready?" Riley asked as he entered the room fiddling with his tie,
"Yeah," Alex answered looking up and smiling slightly, "Be there in a minute," he added as Riley nodded and walked back down the stairs. Alex looked back at the picture,
"I love you Claire," he whispered before kissing and hugging the picture, putting it back in the draw reluctantly, he stood up and sighed, fixing his tie and left for Drover's Run.
Stevie stood in the kitchen, a ball of nerves,
"Ah mum, I can't believe your marrying Alex," Rose stated smiling,
"Uh me neither Rose," Stevie smiled, as Grace entered the room followed by the other brides maids, Moira, Kate and Taylor,
"Alex is here," Grace smiled,
"Oh my god, does that mean its time?" Stevie asked excited, Grace, Kate, Taylor and Moira all nodded, they all screamed together with sheer excitement. This could be heard from the audience outside, they snapped their heads back in worry, until the bridesmaid's made their way out, the audience smiled as they saw Stevie appear in the door, Alex smiled he saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, Claire, tall, thin, the most beautiful eyes in the world, hair as soft as a cloud, and a smile that lit up the room, he was lost for words, when Stevie had arrive at the altar, Alex looked at Claire with loving eye's, he didn't see Stevie, all he saw was Claire.
"We have come here today to join Alex and Stevie together in marriage," Beth Martin started as the audience looked at the wonderful couple "and I think I speak for everyone in the entire district when I say it's about bloody time!" she finished the audience applauded loudly. Alex looked at Claire, she was gorgeous, he just wanted to kiss her,
"Claire, you're my best mate, the one I can always count on to pick me up when times are bad, to share my joy when times are good & to tell me I'm an idiot on the rare occasion that might be true. I promise to cherish you, to laugh with you, to love & protect you, to love your daughter as my daughter. And every day I will ask myself how I ever got to be so blessed, I love you Claire Louise McLeod," he stated with love on every word and tears forming in his eyes, The audiences faces dropped, they were shocked, 'who was this Claire?' 'Is he having an affair?' were the thoughts of many, but those who knew a Claire looked on eager to see what Stevie would do,
"I love you too Alex," Claire stated he went to kiss her but was abruptly pushed away by Stevie, Alex came crashing back down to earth, as he watched Stevie run away, he looked around everyone was shocked, had he just confessed his love for a dead woman? He was desperate to see Claire,
"Where did you go?" he whispered to himself as he looked through the audience, he ran too.
"Alex?" Marcus yelled running after him, Moira following, while Grace, Kate, Taylor and the guest's began to worry and question the situation. Alex saddled a horse up before galloping down the drive, he looked to his left he saw all the guests, looking on confused, then to his right he saw Stevie sitting on the bath tub, 'just like Claire' he thought to himself as he galloped down the drive.
Alex finally arrived to the place, the place he lost his love, he jumped off the horse and ran to the cliff's edge and looked down, he broke down, the tears that fell from his eye's fell the bottom of the canyon,
"CLAIRE!" he yelled through sobs, opening his arms up to the skies, he fell to his knee's making rocks fall from underneath his feet. The sound of the crumbling rocks filling his mind.
~FLASHBACK~
"CLAIRE!" Alex called as loud as he possibly could, there was no reply, he ran back through the group of people, Terry, Jodi, Tess and Nick before fastening the rope, tears began to prick his eyes the lump in his throat almost choking him, he jumped down the cliff face, praying to god Claire was okay. The rocks falling with force from under his feet the roar of them falling, clouding his thoughts, he jumped to the bottom, and he saw Claire's leg bloodied, before arriving next to her. Her head slumped down, her body lifeless,
"Claire?" he whispered leaning down, she wasn't breathing, tears began to filling his eyes, he cupped her face, he jolted she was cold, very cold, he raised her head up. His eyes widen the love of his life was dead. Her once dreamy blue eye's now lifeless, blood from her nose, her lips dry, and her skin once glowing and tanned now white.
~END FLASHBACK~
"Claire, why did you leave me?" he asked standing back up,
"Agh your so stubborn," Claire exclaimed frustrated, "What you just did Ryan was un forgivable," she added yelling,
"Claire, Claire no, no you were there," he said desperate,
"I was there, because you wanted me there," she said meaningfully,
"I want to come with you," Alex stated moving closer to the cliffs edge,
"Are you an idiot, get back!" Claire yelled pulling him back, her touch comforted Alex,
"Alex, Alex be careful," Moira called after him,
"Moira can you see her?" he asked pointing to Claire frantically,
"Yes I can Alex, now get back," she answered smiling at Claire, Claire smiled back,
"No! I want to be with Claire," he said taking another step,
"Alex no, you have people here who love you, don't do it," Moira stated grabbing his arm,
"Moira's right Alex," Claire added,
"How is she right Claire, how?" Alex yelled with more and more tears streamed from his eyes,
"Charlotte Alex, she needs you and Marcus he seems nice and most of all Stevie, she loves you, don't break her heart," Claire said kissing him lightly on the cheek, Alex looked at Moira,
"Alright I won't jump," he said the words cut heavy into his heart,
"Thank you," Claire said holding back the tears, Alex smiled at her sympathetically,
"I think I'll leave you too, to it," Moira said smiling and walking to the ute, watching Alex carefully. There was a silence between the two, as Alex thought,
"Claire," he said quietly,
"Yeah?"
"Can you do me a favour?" he asked stepping close to her, holding her in his arms, she nodded,
"Never leave me," he said as tear still fell from his eyes,
"Alex I'm always with you, I've never left," she smiled,
"No I mean if I say I'll move on, don't go will you?" he asked pushing a strand of hair out of Claire's face,
"Alex I can't go by myself, you have to let me go," she said stroking his head lightly, he cringed and sobbed, "Come on, where's the old Alex gone," Claire laughed,
"He went with you," Alex answered falling into Claire, Claire sighed,
"Look Alex, I can't make you forget me, but I want you to try for Stevie's sake," Claire exclaimed, seeing the pain on Alex's face, he paused and looked down the cliff,
"Alright, I'll try," he said turning back to her
"Thank you," Claire said giving him and light kissing on the lips, to then turn on her heel and walk away,
"Claire?" Alex called after her, she turned smiling at him,
"Yes Alex?"
"When's my time?" he asked looking at her curiously, she sighed looking at the ground,
"I'am not going to tell you Alex, you'll know when it comes," Claire smiled, Alex looked at the ground his head hurt from crying, he looked up to find Claire gone. He sighed before looking back at Moira and walked back to her.
Alex arrived at Drover late that night, his eye's still red. The girls were huddled around the kitchen table when he walked in, they looked up in shock, they had never see Alex like this, Moira followed him in,
"Ah um have you seen Stevie?" he asked quietly, all the girls looked up at Moira, if they should tell him or not, she smiled and nodded,
"She's on the veranda, Alex," Kate answered, he walked out into the cold night again to see Stevie huddled with Rose. Rose was the first to see him,
"You jerk, your hurt my mum," she screamed, Stevie turned,
"Rose enough," she said quietly, her eyes were red and puffy too, Rose walked past Alex upset, Stevie moved over to let Alex sit down, he fell with force onto the bench, the same bench he told Claire he 'loved her more than his chopper' he shook his head, he needed to get through this without stuffing up,
"Stevie I'm so sorry," he said looking out into the night, seeing Claire from afar, Stevie was silent, "I just need some more time, that's all," he added looking at Stevie who frowned,
"Alex you've had 4 years to get over her," she said frustrated,
"I know," he said defeated, "I want to move on with you, I need you to help me," he added looking at Claire below the stairs, she nodded smiling at him. Stevie looked at him, moving his face to look at hers, she smiled before kissing him.
A couple of days later Stevie and Alex were asleep together now husband and wife. Alex tossed and turned before finally Claire appeared he sat up, with a huge grin on his face
"That's what I like to see," Claire said looking at the cheesy grin Alex had on his face, "What's wrong?' she asked knowing he brought her there for a reason, his smile turned,
"Claire I want you to take me with you," he said as Claire rolled her eyes and groaned,
"Alex we have talked about this before," she said frustrated,
"I know but I'm ready," he said moving closer to Claire, she looked down at his hand's, worn and callused they were, she looked up at his face, damaged by the sun and his age showing through, her death it really took a toll on him and you could tell,
"I'll see," Claire smiled, Alex smiled back at her,
"Thank you," he said kissing her before Claire tucked him back into bed and vanished. It was Stevie's turn now, making sure Alex was fast asleep, Claire woke Stevie, as Stevie stirred she looked to her side and smiled, she was finally with the man she loved, Alex Ryan. She closed her eyes contently till a voice called her name,
"Stevie?", "Stevie?" there it was again Stevie opened her eyes and sat up, she jolted back,
"Claire?" she whispered seeing Claire sit on the end of the bed, Claire smiled,
"Hey, I'm sorry about all of this," Claire said putting her hand on Stevie's, Stevie looked on in disbelief,
"It's, it's okay," she answered frowning, "Why are you still here?" Stevie asked still frowning, Claire looked over at Alex,
"He wants," Claire stopped she shouldn't be doing this she told herself,
"Wants what?" Stevie asked getting worried,
"He wants, he want me to take him," Claire sighed, Stevie's eyes flashed anger,
"No!" she said through gritted teeth,
"Stevie, it's his time," Claire said smiling sincerely at the confused red head,
"No, it can't he's so young, we've only just got together," Stevie blubbered through tears, Claire sighed again,
"I was young, I never got that chance," Claire answered rubbing her hand gently on Stevie's arm, there was a silence,
"just give me another year," Stevie pleaded, Claire smiled nodding,
"I will, I promise," she said before disappearing in front of Stevie.
It had been 19 months since the wedding incidence. Alex still hadn't fully let Claire go, he still talked to her and touched her, kissed her, when he had the chance. He was now a married man to Stevie and was expecting a baby. He sat in the plane from Argentina overlooking the countryside that he loved; before the plane was landed there he saw Stevie and Claire waiting for him. Claire looked over at Stevie, she missed Alex, Claire could tell, she really loved him. Claire felt regret, did she have to go through with this? Alex got out of the plane and ran to Stevie he desperately wanted to run to Claire, but like he had done since he was married he ignored her till he was alone.
"Aw I missed you," Stevie said into Alex chest as he hugged her, he looked over at Claire and smiled,
"I missed you too,"
"What about Bartholomew?" Alex asked ginning recording Stevie on the cam quarter he bought,
"Ah no, he doesn't like that," Stevie answered chuckling slightly as the baby kicked, Alex turned his attention to the road,
"Ah Stevie look a branch, stop we'll move it," Alex suggested closing the cam quarter down,
"Alex I wanna get home," Stevie exclaimed slowing down,
"Someone could get hurt," and with that Stevie pulled over. Alex got out recording Stevie as she struggled to get out of the car,
"It's alright I needed to stop anyway," Stevie stated as she closed the door of her ute,
"Call of nature hey Stev's," Alex chuckled. Claire looked on from afar, she realised Alex, was actually falling for Stevie, she smiled slightly, deep down she was jealous, but new it was best for Alex,
"Yeah every five minutes," Stevie answered waddling over behind a tree. Alex pushed the branch over as Stevie called for him,
"Alex!"
"What's wrong? What is it?" he asked slightly worried,
"I'm stuck," Stevie answered, Alex laughed,
"Don't you dare laugh at me Alex Ryan," Stevie stated as Alex helped her through the scrub. Claire sighed, she and Alex used to joke around like that, she crossed her arms intently watching. Alex finally got Stevie out,
"You should see me get out of the bath," Stevie commented looking deep into Alex's eyes,
"How bout tonight," Alex stated before kissing Stevie. It was time. Claire walked closer, Alex caught a glimpse of her just as he heard the crack of the tree,
"Stevie look out!" he yelled pushing her out the way. 'THUD' the ground shook with the weight that hit the ground. Alex stared into Claire's eye's as he was trapped under the tree,
"It's your time Alex," she said kneeling besides him as Stevie caressed his head, trying to push the tree limb, Alex nodded, he looked up at Stevie,
"Stevie the baby," he said wheezing,
"It's okay," she reassured him, before getting the jack,
"Do you want to go Alex?" Claire asked still kneeling near Alex, he looked up at her then to Stevie he paused as Stevie came back and began to jack the tree up, Alex stared at Claire, she raised her eyebrow at him and mouthed the words of her previous question, he nodded. Stevie turned the handle, until it dropped,
"Ahh," Alex's breath was knocked from him ,
"Oh sorry Alex," Stevie said now hysterical, he looked at her,
"Look after our baby" he wheezed,
"No Alex don't you dare talk like that,"
"I love you," Alex breathed, Stevie cried harder, "Raise our boy where ever you like," Claire stroked Alex's head as he spoke to Stevie, he was frightened Claire could sense it,
"Alex I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you," Stevie repeated as her tears fell on Alex's chest,
"I love you too, I'll always be with you," he breathed deeply, "I'll find a way," he exhaled wheezing more. The distant murmur of Stevie's cries could be heard as Alex took Claire in him arms and kissed her, Alex looked back,
"Are you sure you made the right decision?" Claire asked as she too looked back as Moira and Taylor arrived,
"Claire I love you, you are my soul mate," Alex smiled.
Stevie sat on her bed, looking out her window, her baby murmuring at the foot of her bed, her head throbbed, her eye's stung and her throat hurt. She breathed deeply her cowboy was gone, gone forever, she opened her eyes,
"Claire?" Stevie sobbed, Claire smiled at her, "Why did you take him?" she added as another tear streaked her cheek,
"It was his time that's all I can say," Claire said stepping forward, Stevie cried harder,
"Stevie you be strong, your baby needs you," Claire smiled looking in the direction of the babies cot,
"How can I?" Stevie asked agitated,
"Gee that's not the Stevie I know," Claire chuckled,
"I can't do it without him Claire?"
"You can, he will always be with you Stevie, like I was always with Alex," Claire smiled, Stevie smiled slightly too looking at her ring. There was a silence,
"Where is Alex?" Stevie asked curiously,
"He's right here," Claire said looking next to her were Alex appeared,
"Ahh Alex," Stevie blubbered,
"Hey cowgirl," he smiled, she smiled back,
"I'll never let you go," Stevie said looking at him through tear filled eye's, Alex frowned slightly,
"You have to Stev's, don't do what I did with Claire,"
"But I don't have you with me,"
"But you do, right here," Alex said reaching his hand out and touching Stevie's heart, she closed her eyes and embraced his warmth, "You look after yourself Stevie, look after our boy too," he smiled, Stevie smiled still with her eye's closed. She sighed before opening them again to find Alex and Claire gone, she look to the door and saw Moira. Moira smiled at Stevie
"you do what he say's Stevie," Moira said sitting next to her on the bed,
"I will, I won't let him down," she smiled,
"He's happy now, now you, you have to be happy," Moira smiled pointing to Stevie,
"I will, I look after baby Xander," she smiled, Moira smiled back, as they watch the newly named and newly born Xander sleep.
"Claire Louise McLeod, will you marry me?" Alex asked as they stood at the windmill overlooking Drover's,
"Yes, yes I will," she smiled happily hugging him, she looked up into his eyes,
"I've waited for this moment" he breathed kissing her,
"me too," she smiled,
"Now when do we start making little Alex's and Claire's?" he asked with a cheesy grin on his face, Claire giggled before hitting him playfully on the arm,
"Oh still got it McLeod," he laughed rubbing his arm where he hit her,
"You bet," she said laughing as they walked off into the sunset, there spirits now at rest, with each other.