A foreword:
The main character has to distinctive personalities that will become more apparent as the chapter progresses, let's call them for now Good Side and Bad Side.
The chapter also features a secondary narration, in third person, that works as an allegory for the normal narration, in first person. It's mostly made out of experimentation, and it will not be featured in future chapters.
Normal Text: Main Narration. (At some point: Good side's actions)
Itallics: At the beginning and the ending, Flashbacks. (At some point: Good side's thoughts/voice)
Bold: Bad side's intrusive thoughts.
Bold and Itallics: Secondary Narration. (At some point: Bad side's actions)
Drop drop drop
Is it raining? Odd, the forecast said it was going to be clear today. Dear, could you go and fetch the clothes in the hanger, please?
Coming! K̶̨͜e͘͜͠j̡̛ú̵͘t҉̨̢͘, can you…? Oh, asleep already? Well, that's too bad, sleepy boys don't get cookieee- Ah, there you are thunderbolt. Come on, before both the clouds and your mother really rain on us
Bang
Was that… honey, that just now was you!?
Bole, Run! Right now, run! Through the backyard. Ther-
BANG BANG
Honey!? Ceri!? K̵̢̧͘é̀͜͝͡j̛͘u̢t҉̸́͘, listen to me, Ķ̛͢͝e̸̢j̶̨̡̕̕u̢͞t͠, I need you to go to the tool shack and hide. Here, take my knife. Be safe, I'll be right back, ok? Be safe, be safe and I love you. Now hide!
BANG!
Clear!
...
Clear!
...
The door is blocked!
BANG! CRACK!
Clea- Wha-!?
Stab stab stab stab stab stab stab
Hosti-
Fling
Stab
BANG! BANG!
Hold your fire!
…
That was a nice throw, kid. In fact, they both died in an instant. Why don't you- easy, I know you are scared, but your parents are waiting outside. Come on now, they're waiting for you.
BANG!
Raise, get out, get down, push, get down. Repeat, repeat…
A beautiful discordant melody swims through the air. The players desperately try to keep with the tempo. The first song is a classic, not because is a masterpiece, but because is the song they always play at the beginning. It's familiar, but it's just warm up.
My brain then catches up with my body. Like every morning: push-ups, then abs, then bars, then squats, then breakfast, the morning routine. I finish first and go stand at the entrance of the tent besides the Captain, like usual. Ferrari finishes second, like usual. The rest of the kids stand beside their bunks not too long after. Grizzly is the last one, as usual. They stay firm like statues.
"Atteeention, firm! Salute!" The Captain yells
"One, two!" The Small Boy unit cries back with a quick gesture
"Foooorward, march!" He slips out of the tent. We march after him through the proxy base. The soldiers go around in all directions to fulfill their morning tasks, like usual. The murmur of almost hushed conversations come and go from everywhere at once.
A symphony of noise
The mess hall is packed, like usual. The rations taste horrible, like usual. Rufous and Ruddy, the rowdy ones, start fighting at the far end of the table, as usual. Emmi, Eaton and Falu, the pariahs, huddle in their corner at the other end and whisper to one another, like usual. Razz and Rose, the rivals, finish choking on their food with no resulting winner, like usual. Ecru is looking at me again, in terror or fascination, maybe both, like usual.
And like usual, the main door opens and someone enters. The hall falls silent
A cacophony of silence
The Conductor prepares for the finale of the piece. He raises his baton and in his excitement, he yells;
"Atteeention! Commander in the hall!" He yells and everybody rises
"At ease" the gruff voice of the commander calls at the other side of the doorway. He doesn't steps inside "Today is the big day. We are going to assault the enemy HQ at 1800, when the sun is against our backs. We are going to end this, we are going to make them suffer as we pierce through their measly defenses and then we are going to celebrate like victorious champions! You are all dismissed until then." The door closes and we are ready for another day in hell
The public roars
Ecru is definitely scared now, but her eyes can't turn away from the smile that appeared on my face. That was the last breath of the routine until tomorrow. It has come to an end, and nobody can predict the outcome of today
Superb, astonishing. The Director can't help to vow before he prepares to start the last song of the evening
Dark clouds float in the sky. My face hurts with how much my grin spreads at the rarity.
The drummer is new, he seems young and nexperienced, but confident. He looks excited.
"Hey, Pu-bitch!" An old hack, a violinist, envious of the new rooster, thirsts for attention and revenge
"Pasir, to see a dead man walking with the living is an odd sight!" I jeer at him
The older boy lifts me by the collar. The Cheshire Cat is nothing compared to my grin.
"Listen here you little dipshit. This is the last time you ever try to steal my glory, you hear me? I'm a patient man, is my job as you squad leader, so you better not try a stupid stunt like yesterday."
"You know, I think you're right. It's more fun to kill you personally" I don't think my grin could stretch further, even if I tried
He punches me, hard. He even broke my nose. The dam broke and blood spilt out. Pff, what a riot! My sides are aching a little with how hard I'm laughing. And, oh man, when I open my eyes and I see the look of realization, and when he takes his hands to his throat to stop the blood gushing out. PRICELESS!
The fool slipped and fell flat on his back. His replacement didn't even bother showing some kind of decency and looking apologetic. In fact, his face looks blank, a little lost even, and a ghost of the smile he had when he fell was still visible, but it had no real emotion behind it. He looks at the old violinist in the floor, but his gaze goes beyond him. He is not sure what he feels (Shame, sorrow, sadness, joy, anger?) He is not even sure if he feels something.
What's so funny? He died. What's so funny about death? Why was I laughing? Was I laughing? Was I? I'm not sure, maybe. I think i was. I'm sure I was, I think. But why? Who was him again? Were… maybe he was talking to me? But, he is dead, right? He is dead and in front of me, so maybe i killed him? Yeah, that's right, I killed him. I remember, I killed him. But why?
"Attention!" A voice says to me from behind.
His head feels heavy, drowsy, and his eyelids are struggling to keep open. He's confused. What was he feeling? What was he doing? What was he...?
What?
He tries to keep his eyes open as the Director approaches
"Commander Gears, sir!" I jump from the ground and hold perfectly firm, both hands at my sides. You don't keep the Director waiting.
He towers over me, and the sun behind him blinds anything below his shadow. His figure consumes all light. He has eaten the sun, and all that remains is darkness.
His brown hair is held back with a bandana that covers his forehead from the sun. A tinge of something runs all over my body, sparking all my nerves.
When their eyes meet, he feels again. Something bubbles inside him, in his chest. He is feeling something again and he clings to it. He clings and hangs and doesn't let's go to the emotion. But it's small, and he doesn't knows what it is. Doesn't care what it is, as long as he feels. The Director sparked that emotion.
"At ease. Tell me, Jack, why did you kill him?" He barely spares a brief glance at the bleeding corpse
The fog attacks again, but the feeling doesn't disappears. It stands like a lighthouse over the mist, and he follows its red light.
I killed him didn't I? He is dead and in front of me, so I must have. Why did I? He said something to me, he punched me even, right? Yes, he did! I feel it! My nose, it hurts, it does hurts! So he must have punched me. He broke my nose; why did he? We were talking. He told me… He told me… He told me he was
"He was afraid I would steal something from him, something he called 'glory'" What is glory? Does it matter? It must have, if I killed him for it…
The fog grows thick and the red lighthouse disappears.
But, I didn't, did I? I didn't killed him for it. Because I don't have it, and neither did he. So, if you die for it or you kill for it and you still don't have it, what's the use of it. Maybe it didn't matter after all... but if doesn't matter, why did I kill him? if I killed him for something that doesn't matter, did I do it without reason?
Then, a blue light appears in front of him. A blue flame that floats and beckons him. He follows it.
The commander's eyes narrow, intently, deeply. He stares into my soul and the electricity intensifies
The red beam appears again, cutting through the mist and shrouding him. The haze disappears and he can see again. Everything is clear
I kill for a reason, a purpose, our goals, this army's goals. When I kill an enemy, the commander is happy and then I'm happy. And the more I kill the more happy I am. But when an enemy kills one of our comrades because a mistake, the commander is angry and then he makes everybody angry and he kills the prisoners. We kill when we are angry so we can be happy, then I must have killed him because I was angry at him.
Why was I angry at him? He said I tried to do something yesterday. In fact, he was supposed to be dead today. I was angry at him before. I can't remember...
He smiles and my body feels like it's overcharged with energy, like it wants to jump or run or fight or fly or something. Does it matter? I don't think so! I killed him, and if I kill people, the commander is happy, and I'll have lots and lots of people to kill today.
And when he is happy, so I am. That's all that matters
"May this be lesson to all of you! There is no glory in the battlefield, only death. Make sure is not yours" He turns without waiting the answer. The static lessens, or it worsens? I feel like a battery overloading.
"Sir, yes Sir!" they answer anyways, like they should do. Nobody pays further attention to the body. A grunt will take it to the pit later, like the rest of the idiots who get themselves killed.
He hit his head hard. He is bleeding out. The new violinist swiftly hides the bloody blade. Nobody noticed what or when he did it. He doesn't care, he knows what he feels now. He feels expectation. He can't wait to start playing. He smiles again, madly, as he takes backs his seat. He can't wait, and he only focuses on his anticipation. He stopped thinking about what he just did, about what he was thinking, about anything at all. Still…
"I can't believe he killed Pasir"
"It was so fast I didn't see the moment he took the knife!"
"Just how strong is this guy? It was like he cut through the guy's Aura like it wasn't even there!"
"That is Setan Putih for ya…"
Everybody knew it was him.
In reality, the new drummer isn't a newcomer, just an outsider. And neither is his first time here, but he comes rarely. Still, he likes to please; he likes to do things with all his heart, no matter where he is. Says it makes him feel like it's the first time he grabs his drumsticks.
He brought a stronger rhythm for the occasion. Fast paced, strong, imposing. He says he picked this one for a special occasion. He raises his hand over his head and it crashes down with a resounding
BOOM!
The thunder sounds far away from the battlefield. The man with the hole in his head stares into the eyes of death, my eyes, for a second before he crumbles motionless. "Duke, watch our backs. Navy, hand me the radio" I pick my machete from another dying man's chest. All he manages is a small groan before the light leaves his eyes. I'll make sure to remember this one for a while, he had screamed quite nicely before he tried to charge against us, blade deep in his chest and everything. Too bad he is an enemy. A determination to fight like his is rare.
Aaaaand… gone
True to his words, he keeps a constant, quick paced tempo. The Conductor is pleased and guides the rest of the instruments
Navy is the youngest of the squad, but he is reliable, quick, and sneaky. Scouting and communications fits him. He carried a heavy backpack for the ammunition and the long distance communicator which he hands to me. "PQ, this the Small Boy unit 1A reporting, please respond"
"This is PQ, what is your status Small Boy?" The comms officer answers
"We have reached the enemy command room. I suspect is heavily guarded. Please advice"
"Acknowledged" there is a small silence "You been giving permission to advance, thread carefully. A drone has been deployed to give you fire support. Try to herd them close to the windows"
"Roger PQ, Unit 1A out"
"Hold on, Commander Gears wishes to speak with you" The radio goes silent for a second, before the electricity hits him again, lighter but palpable. "Hello Captain, I take that your unit has served you well"
"They move with the flow like water running down a pipe, Sir. No setbacks were encountered as we advanced. Unit 3E diverged from us before, but Captain Karma made contact a short while ago. They secured the barracks and the armory. Unit 5B captured the relay transmit tower"
"And Unit 3A?"
"Suppressing the last combatants."
"Anything else?"
"No sir. We are preparing for intrusion"
"Very well, Captain. Take no hostages"
"Roger, Commander. Small boy Unit 1A, out" Navy takes back the speaker as his whiskers twitch and swiftly gives new clips for everyone.
The pace slows down. An harmonic tune plays
The door is made of steel, reinforced of course. They probably made a barricade at the other side. Razz, the explosive specialist, wraps her naked tail around her and prepares the charge. Rufous picks on Duke while he waits. He of course expertly ignores him and keeps watch. Ecru is looking straight to the door with her big yellow owlish eyes which she insist with exaggerated intensity are not Faunus traits, even if the rest of the soldiers wouldn't give a damn if they were. Her diving mask, which protect her eyes from the dusty desert, rest hung on her neck. Falu preoccupies herself with checking her guns as she launches brief glances to the rest of team every few seconds.
"Charge s' ready" Razz says and goes to stand besides Rose who mutters something akin to 'I would have done it faster'
"I'm in control of the drone. I can see them" Navy's face turned a blue hue as the screen's light reflected on him.
"Lay suppressing fire on my mark. Falu, Duke, you enter with me. Rose, Razz, Rufous, cover our rears and pick the missing sheeps. Ecru, cover Navy and be ready for incursion. Cover us with the sniper until I call you in" Ecru grunts and grabs her weapon.
"Everybody, check your comms and take cover." I command as I take cover behind the barricade made by the enemy. I hold up my hand closed in a fist with my thumb up and Razz follows my motion with the detonator in her hand.
The tension raises once again and nears the breaking point. Time slows for him as the adrenaline runs high. He can see everything in detail. The Conductor's wild mane as he gestures; the public, who observe like condors over rotten flesh with dead eyes; The Director, smiling in the last row, behind everything and everyone.
"Mark!" I hold up a second and then I press my thumb against the second knuckle of my index finger.
BOOM!
The violinist's bows moves at great speed as he digits the strings. His melody is almost deafening, and all the other sounds dull in comparison. He is by himself under the reflector light and he forgets about anything else. It's just him and his music.
"Ashes!" Rose yells as he launches an ash grenade through the hole where the door used to be.
I jump in through the wreckage and over the low fire while the smoke covers me, shooting my rifle wildly as I search for some cover. Bullets fly from behind and in front of me. The enemy, facing heavy fire from the windows and from the entrance, must have realized how desperate their situation is.
I hide behind a charred and tumbled desk. Wood, but thick enough to make cover. The command room is big and spacious. It has a fairly high cove ceiling, but no chandeliers. It also has several rows of tables and libraries, perfect for makeshift covers. At the end of the room I can see the command table, signalized by the holographic display in it. The light entered through the high and broken windows, so it was impossible to start a blackout. Instead, the drone provided support shooting through them and then moving to the next opening before it could be shot down.
They had arranged the room so it started to close near the end, creating a funnel chokehold with bookcases and tables. The room was heavily guarded, as I expected, and even had a mounted turret guarding the end. However, their attention was divided, now that they had two fronts to take care of.
As planned, Rufous fans the smoke with his wind blower. The smoke disperses inside, providing us sight cover against the enemy.
"In position!" three yells from behind. Rose, Razz and Rufous are in place and covering us.
"Advance!" I jump over my cover and start shooting my weapon. With precision, the enemies fall as my scope focuses on them. Left and right, enemies with weak or even no Aura at all fall as we advance.
Die you little shits!
Suddenly, a whirring noise comes from ahead "It's raining hell!" Razz yells before the turret starts shooting death. I cover behind a bookcase, but holes start sprouting out of it as the bullets drill through it.
"Shit!" I jump down behind another table while torn pieces of paper float in the air.
You piece of crap!
BANG! BANG!
Precision bullets fly from the hole. "The guy is like a tank! The bullets can't even get close to his face- Shit!" Ecru swears as the turret focuses on her.
Motherfuck!
"Rose, make them cry!" I command to the grenadier.
"Suck it!" He yells as he throws whatever explosive he is carrying at the moment. Ice, wind and fire spam at short bursts, and the enemies fly through the air.
I peek over the cover. Four, five, seven, nine, nine! Nine more pigs to kill
"Navy! Shoot at discretion, wear them down!"
"On it- Fuck! Enemy reinforcements on my side. Ecru is down!"
The flute falls silent.
Fuck!
"Fuck this! Rufous, give me The Beat!"
Fuck them!
He throws me a vial full of dark purple Dust in a wide arc. I insert it in the handle of my machete and it starts to glow and emit a low hum. "Cover me!" I cut down the table were I was hiding like it's hot butter and run forward to the fray with a handgun in one hand and the blade in the other.
It's time for your to die!
BANG!
I weave and dance around the bullets while I respond with my own. The closest ones draw their own blades as well once they realize they won't be able to hit me. The first one tries to chop me down, so I chop up his arm. Blood splatters over my head as I cut another bit of his body, and another, and another before I use his body like a shield against the incoming fire.
Falu and Rufous use the chance to kill the shooters. Razz throws a light bomb and I drop the bullet-ridden corpse using the distraction.
The second one parries my first attack with his sword covered in yellow Aura and parries two other strikes before he counters. I dance around his arm and I stab him in his throat, bathing my shoulder in blood.
I scale over the the bookcase, quickly jump over to another, and immediately jumping again. I run over the gaps while I shoot the surprised faces of the soldiers below. Suddenly, a table flies and a I only manage to preserve my head attached to my neck by ducking just before it hits me. It was the man behind the turret, flinging at me anything he could get his hands on, and all the projectiles carried enormous force. If any of those hits me, I'll become another smudge of blood in the wall.
Suddenly, raining bullets distract the juggernaut. The drone is shooting from outside the window, and just time too. I lunge at him as he throws a chair like a giant bullet at drone, taking it down. His Aura is really thick, and my attack only skims his chest with the tip, not enough to even scratch him. He seems surprised, and turns to me with a special glint in his eye. Expectantly, I wait while he grabs a metal bat not too far away that seems to small in his hands. It glows brown as he extends his Aura to his weapon.
"Setan, what are you doing!? Shoot him already" says someone in the comms, don't care who. He wants a duel, I'll give him one.
We rush at each other and our weapons clash, sparks flying. His defence is steady, like brick tower, as I try to maim him from different angles and get behind his back. Meanwhile, he tries to take my head of my shoulders with quick swings and I'm forced to evade his attacks. With no Aura, I would break my arms even trying to parry him.
I spin and swing low. He goes to counter me and I grin as I jump over his head. He moves his head at the last second, but I still leave a small gash in his shoulder that his Aura rushes to fix and someone screams in terror, but he isn't the one screaming. A kid, no older than six, runs wide eyed back to the room at the back where he was hiding and shuts the door. The man looks horrified. I have a pretty good idea why
He reacts a second to late and I cut his side. He tries to bash me, but I'm already left a cut at his other side. It keeps like this, him only following my movements one step behind while I attack him with enough force to slash through his quickly draining Aura. He bashes, I dodge and counter with horizontal slash. He kicks and I'm behind him cutting upwards. And finally, his brown Aura flashes and wavers as it reaches its limit. Your time has come.
I run away towards the door where the kid was hiding. "NO!" He yells before throwing his bat spinning. It goes straight to me, and if it hits, I'm pretty sure my body would explode guts and gore!
Sucker.
I turn and cut the bat through the middle like it's made of paper, the two halves flying harmlessly behind me. The cratered walls where the metal slices ended lodged would beg to differ about the material of the projectiles.
He rushes with open arms to embrace death. I swing to cut his neck and he catches the blade with his left forearm. He rips his bloody arm away with the blade lodged in it as his Aura breaks like glass and he punches me with his right fist empowered with lasts bits of his Aura with an powerful uppercut to my chest.
The crack of my bones is audible.
It hurts! My stomach and my lungs feel on fire and pain sparks every nerve in my body and it hurts. I heave and I cough as my lungs tries to fill up with air but it's so hard to breath with how much I'm laughing! Ha, he got me good! I can even feel the blood in my mouth. He must have broken a lot of ribs there. Heck, maybe my whole chest turned to dust! He sure can pack a punch, but I'm the one with the punchline.
BANG!
Hahahaha, sure you weren't expecting that one did ya?! What's that, fear? Are you scared now? Come ON! Is a gun really that scary!? I was just a little tiny bullet to your arm. Don't start being a fucking disappointment. Show me anger, pain, not some fucking FEAR!
BANG!
Come on! What are you so fucking afraid of? It hurts to even breath so why the fuck aren't you fighting!? Answer me! Don't fucking make me waste my time on you!
BANG!
A bullet just beside his head
Answer.
BANG!
It nicks his ear
Me.
BANG, BANG, BANG!
Each one punctures his bones of his leg
DAMMIT!
"Come on, dammit! Tell me already" I yell as I kick him in his stupid fearful face that won't EVEN FUCKING LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO HIM! WHAT IS HE EVEN-? Oh.
OOOOH
"So, what's up with the kid? Some little shit too weak to even hold a rifle? Come on, why are you so scared for him?" He still refuses TO EVEN LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES DAMMIT! Where did all that might go?
Change of tactics. I grab the blade and I drag it very slowly up his arm. "Just tell me already," I chop down his forearm by the place the blade was stuck before. Not deep enough to completely separate the arm from the rest of his body, but deep enough to touch the bone and all of those delightfully sensible nerves. Sadly, He bites down the scream of pain "Just tell me, and I'll make the pain stop. Wouldn't you like that?" I whisper with a sweet voice like molasses. I slam down my foot in his maimed arm before I start dragging the blade up the other. "Please, just talk to me. Can you talk for me?" I raise the blade over my head "Can you die, for me?" and I chop down his other arm up to his shoulder. He's crying now. He's fucking crying like a little cowardly shit!
"Boring," I sing "I was going to kill you all anyways, I just wanted to satisfy my curiosity. Was that SO FUCKING HARD!?" I kick him, I stomp him, I stab him, I slice him, methodically, calculated so he won't bleed out just yet and he still won't scream!
The song had long ended. Just now he realized he had stop playing. He was once again in the stage. It was over, the only thing left was the Director's speech.
"Hey, are you done there!?" I yell to the comms without taking my eyes off the whiny shit.
"Yes we are, Setan, you don't have to shout," Duke yells somewhere to my right.
"There's a kid behind that door. Bring it here."
The kid resists and struggles but he falls limp when he sees the juggernaut maimed and beaten. Then, he bawls his eyes out while he screams and tries to escape Rufous grip. The kid stomps his captors' feet and runs towards the defeated man before Rufous grabs him again and puts a gun to the back of his head. Even then, he doesn't stops crying.
What the hell?
"Hey… Hey! Kid, shut up! Stop crying. Stop, what the hell is your problem!? I said shut the fuck up!" I slap him across the face. Even with the face with a red mark, he cries.
What the hell is wrong with him!?
Still, the man is anxious and just won't stop looking at the kid, but still says nothing.
Oh, whatever.
"NO!" The man finally yells when the blade is an inch away from the kid's neck. And look, he finally shut up. I must have scared him into silence.
"So, what's so special about this little shit. Is he really good so you want to keep him alive, or really bad so you feel pity or something? Come on now, tell me, because I won't stop myself next time" My fingers twitch with impatience.
"He-... He's my son. I beg you, spare him. Just let him go and kill me." So the kid is his son…
.
.
.
"What the hell is a son?" I ask him
"What?" He's staring at me with a stupid looking face. I kick it.
"What the hell is a son?"
"What do you mean!?" He coughs out and spits some blood.
"You little- god dammit. Ecru, what does it mean son? Is it what, like a rank?"
"Ecru is out. She was shot and Rufous had to take her away." Navy answers over the comms
"What, when?"
"I-... never mind. She's being treated right now, probably."
"Does anybody here knows what son means?"
"We are wasting our time, Setan." Razz whines like a little shit.
"This could be useful information, shithead." What could be so powerful, so meaningful that you would take so many risks for it? Is this kid his goal? Maybe his purpose? How is a kid a purpose?
"How, exactly?"
"That's what I'm trying to find out dammit"
"Let's just ask Commander and get this over with!"
"We can't call the Commander just to know the meaning of a word"
"You don't… You don't know what is the meaning of son?" He seems pretty out of it. Looks like he is bleeding out.
"He is my son, my child, my blood and the person I care the most about." His gaze is unfocused, and his head turns to the kid, ignoring everything else "I cherish you and I love you and I'll will always love. I'll love you to infinity and beyond."
They are both crying again. A grown adult, crying like a three-year-old over an actual three-year-old kid. Just... what the hell…? He loves him? What is-
Be safe and I love you.
The world suddenly turns upside down.
What is-
There is an incessant ring on my ears
What the hell?
My vision blurs, the colors blending together.
Just…
Someone screams I think.
He loves him?
My head hu RtS L IK-E H̛͟E̡̛͞L̢̨̢̡͡\Ĺ̢̕͏!
I'm falling
Or at least, I think so.
I'm not touching the ground, I can't feel it. But neither I can't feel the air passing through my hair, so I'm not sure if I'm really falling.
But I can feel other things. There is a weight on my belly, above my navel, and it goes around my torso. There are also weights over my arms. My legs are free, but I'm not sure if moving them would help.
My eyes are open, but I can only see darkness. I don't like it.
I'm also being strangled. I can feel hands on my neck, stopping me from breathing, but I'm not sure why would I need to breathe. Oh right, I need to breathe to live. Are they trying to kill me?
Why are they choking me? We would strangle each other during training, and I would close my hands around their windpipes until they turned blue and their eyes went white.
I think I liked to do that. But, I'm not so sure. Afterwards, when we stopped, they would still wince and cough when they moved their necks, so I felt bad for them. But if it was an enemy, then I felt worse because I had crushed his neck like a twig. I think I cried after that, but then the Commander would pat me in the back, telling me I did a good job then taking me to… where did he take me too?
I can't remember
Is not important
I only remember the important things, I think.
I'm also being strangled. If they keep going, they could hurt me, and then they would kill me. I don't want to die. If I die, then I can't move, and I'll only stare without seeing forever. Dying seems scary. All of them seemed pretty scared about dying. So it must be bad and scary.
I can't breathe. I'm dying, and I don't want to die!
Shit, shut up!
Who are you!?
Now I can see him, he looks familiar. He looks like myself, I think, but I don't remember how I look. Still, there is something that tells me he looks like me, but there is something very wrong with him.
I said shut it!
Why are you doing this?
He is waking up, even after everything that's happened, now of all times, he wakes up. He can't be awake. I need to make him go back to sleep, but if keeps resisting I'll kill him without a doubt.
SHUT UP!
GET OFF!
I kick him first in the back, twice in the back forcing him to stand up slightly. Still, it gives me enough space to kneel him and the kick him away.
Leave me alone!
You little- I'll kill you!
He can't do this to me! I am the real one, I am the one alive. He needs to go back to sleep, or else I kill him. I won't let him do this to me.
Go away! I hate you!
Pathetic, I'm going to bury you ten feet down!
He jumps at my neck again, but I stop him with my feet and I push him away again. I stand up a place my arms besides my head and my torso in a defensive position. He stands on four limbs and has a feral snarl on his face.
His eyes shine red
His eyes shine blue
I run at him with my arms wide and swipe with my claws towards his head, but he crouches at the last moment and hits me in the back of my head and it hurts! It hurts a fucking lot!
CRASH!
Glass breaking sounds the moment my fist connects and he cries in pain, protecting the sore area as turns away and puts some distance between us.
Why are you doing this?
I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!
There is only murder in those red eyes.
He runs at me again, but this time his movements are more controlled, but not less deadly. He swipes at my head and at my arms with open hands while I dodge and parry. He thrust forward his hand towards my head and I dodge to the side while I punch him below the ribs.
CRASH!
Glass sounds again, but instead of retreating he spins on his heel and elbows me in the jaw.
CRASH!
There is only fear in those blue eyes.
I jump away before he can swipe at my neck. It hurts! It hurts a lot! I take my hands to my jaw to nurse the injury, but I pale when I notice my jaw isn't there. I can only feel a jagged hole in the place where my lower mouth used to be. Realizing something, I focus on him again and I notice there is a hole where my fist had stroke earlier.
He rushes at me and tries to punch me in the head. I grab his fist and then I grab the other when he tries to retaliate. I grin at him, sadistically, and then I kick him in the knee with enough force to bend it until it breaks.
CRASH!
Even though his leg up to the knee is gone he still stands, as if a phantom limb supported him, and jumps away, but I don't let up my assault, I swipe and strike as I try to get a hold of thE LITTLE COWARDLY BASTARD who insist on avoiding my attacks directly while trying to counter. I madly rush at him trying to at least get a shot on his eyes or anything that would leave him to my mercy, when he grabs ahold of my extended arm, backhands me in the ear with the other, and suddenly I'm not standing anymore. I hit the not-ground, and he twists my arm until it breaks
CRASH!
I punch.
I claw.
CRASH!
I dodge.
I grab.
CRASH!
I counter.
I kick.
CRASH!
And glass falls around me.
I pant, as I jump away from him. He's tired, maybe as much as I am. He's missing his legs. He is missing his arms. His torso is falling down. His face is caving in itself. He refuses to lay down and die. He won't let me disable him, he won't leave me alone.
He still stands
He still fights.
I'll kill him, then I'll finally live as myself.
I don't want to die, but I kill him if I have to.
We rush at each other, as we try to finish the other. We attack, we defend, we try to survive because we know that one of us has to die.
I swipe at him, leaving a diagonal hole from his shoulder to his hip.
I kick him high in the head, making another hole. Only his eye remains.
I jump at him and kneel him in the nose. No blood pours out, but it breaks nonetheless
I punch below ribs and follow up on his armpit.
I try to ax him with the heel, but he dodges to the side.
I try to delivery a haymaker, but he grabs it with ease.
And then...
I headbutt him in what remains of his face and he falls back. Not letting up, I let a flurry of punches rain down on whatever is left of him. I grab him by the neck and I press with all my strength, and he still tries to rip my arms with his fingernails.
CRASH!
His neck gives in, and all of what remained of his body breaks down. The dark world turns white and glass rains around me, but I'm not affected at all. I won, so I'll get to live.
The glass rains around me.
And then the lighting stroke.
BOOM!
My neck is sore.
So is the rest of my body, but my neck hurts a lot worse.
I'm on something soft but wet. It's sticky and smells like humidity. Mud? It smells burnt and charred.
Opening my eyes is really hard. My eyelids feel like they weight a ton.
There are noises, but I can't tell what they are. They blend and mesh with each other, and I can't focus on a single one.
My heart feels hot. Really hot. I feel like my chest is burning from the inside out.
Suddenly, a pair of hands grabs me and pulls me and carefully hangs me by my torso around their neck, like a scarf.
The world stops spinning and with a great deal of effort, I open my eyes.
It's nighttime. A rainstorm bears down on my back. I'm being carried around someone's neck. Her head is covered by a balaclava.
Immediately I turn away trying to take as much of my surroundings. There a few low buildings I can scale and many alleys to escape through. I'm disarmed, so I need to get her weapon when she's distracted, then I'll…
Why…
Why would I need to that?
Why would I need a weapon? I'm not a soldier, I'm…
I'm…
"W-wh…?"
"Shit, he's awake!" She yells "Get me the sedative!"
Get me the sedative.
I'll make you strong, Jack.
No.
"Let me go!" I scream as I struggle against her, but her grip on my wrists and ankles is powerful.
"Shhh, easy, kid, is okay now. You're safe" A man says from behind me
You're safe now, Jack. You'll have nothing to fear from now on.
You'll have to hurt them before they hurt you. I gifting you the power to hurt.
No!
As I close my eyes in fear I feel something spark from inside me, something new altogether, and suddenly I'm unbound and in the air.
THUD
I crash back in the earth. When I open my eyes again, the soldiers, four of them, all with their heads covered, are some five or six meters away from me, and they look at me with trepidation. A fifth one is on the ground, his clothes charred and smoking.
"He teleported? Is that his Semblance?" Another man says
"Sonova, he shocked me! Did he cause that lightning? He's dangerous! Owl, do it!"
"On it!" the first man says as he raises his hand. I'm won't stay to see what he's doing, so I run to the side and towards an alley.
"Shit, secure him!" I hear the footsteps behind me, two sets of them. They're re trying to surround me. I turn sideways, further immersing myself in the maze of alleys. I can hear their footsteps, wet and heavy.
A hand grabs me on the shoulder. My eyes widen when I turn to the side. The woman came from a side alley and her other hand had a gun. An DG-008, 6mm tranquilizer rounds, 5 shots magazine, silencer and holo-sights attached. Why do I know that?
The spark comes again and suddenly she is far away and grasping air. However, she reacts quickly and aims her gun at me.
If they see you, you'll die.
Kill them before they do.
NO! I just want to be left alone!
So leave me ALONE!
My vision turns red and the spark that surfaces is different. It burns me from the inside out, but I grab it and I make it spread through the ground until it reaches her feet, burning her as well.
"Gagh!" she cried in pain as her muscles shock with red tinted lightning. The gun fell from spasming hand before she fell to her knees screaming in pure agony and-!
NO!
The other spark disappeared, but the pain lingers, for the both of us. Even still, I stand while she grasps for air. She's hurt, badly. I harmed her.
"S-sorry" I whisper. I don't understand why it was so easy for me to hurt her, but I regret it. So I whisper an apology before turning tail. I will not be controlled again!
…
But, was I controlled before? I… can't remember… Just what… wh-when…
Who… who am I?
"Gotcha!"
As I turn a corner, one of them cuts my path and places his hand on my forehead before I can get away and everything goes black.
Who am I?
I'm me, right?
I'm Me, RiGHt?
My name…
My name is...
Drip drop drop
An afterword:
To you reading this, thank you so much, and I'm sorry if it was hard to read. I wanted to illustrate, rather than narrate, Raiden's fragmentation in two personalities.
On another note, following RWBY's color name rule, Raiden was referred in this chapter as Setan Putih, in indonesian "White Devil". However, from this point onward, he will be known as Lampa Kejut, which means "Light Shock" (referring to white light as the combination of all colors) in indonesian.
As a last clarification, the flashbacks are only sonorous. Raiden only hears the voices.
Again, thank you so much for reading this.