A/N: Everyone who has ever read my Thunderbirds stuff knows exactly how much I love Gordon. Writing his character is like slipping into a beloved old jumper, warm and comforting, familiar and safe. For my biggest, deepest feelings, and my silliest, most frivolous moods - Gordon Cooper Tracy is always there, waiting to pull me back to the Island with a lopsided grin and a dirty joke. He's one of the most wonderful and underrated characters of all time and I adore him.

Thankfully TAG returned yesterday, and with it some of the most glorious Penelope/Gordon moments there have ever been since Tunnels of Time. So yes, this is a huge big Pordon-fest. I regret nothing. This is for Mon Ammy, and for all the other gorgeous Gordon Groupies out there.

Disclaimer: Thunderbirds was invented by The Andersons. Thunderbirds Are Go belongs to someone else. Gordon belongs to Penelope. Even though she'll never tell. Opening lines in italics are from the episode Deep Water. The title is from the rock'n'roll classic You Never Can Tell by Chuck Berry.

You Never Can Tell

"You like me best, right?"

"I'll never tell."

Four hours and far too many celebratory drinks later, Gordon had decided that a definitive answer to Penelope's not-so-cryptic 'I'll never tell' was his next greatest challenge.

They had managed to lose Parker and the Shelbys shortly after dinner. Helen Shelby had innocently mentioned during the course of the conversation that it had been a long time since she had last played poker, a game she very much enjoyed - and Parker instantly leapt at the opportunity to challenge her and Robby to a game. Penelope wasn't sure if Helen was outright hustling him, but she hadn't seen that look in Parker's eyes since they had lost Lily the cook, so she decided that her presence would most certainly be cramping Parker's style somewhat. Besides, the opportunity to spend time alone with Gordon was something she would never pass up.

They eventually found themselves in a small, quiet bar that was pirate themed and promised more brands of rum than they could shake a stick at. Even with the absence of a suitable stick, Gordon was sold at the pirate theme, so he grabbed Penelope by the hand and dragged her inside with him.

After procuring two large glasses of a rum that neither of them had ever heard of, but which promised nothing but vanilla and treacle loveliness at an impressive alcohol percentage of forty-five, they found a quiet corner to themselves.

"So," Gordon began, raising both eyebrows and biting his lower lip before locating the point and going straight to it. "'I'll never tell' means 'yes', right?" he said, his eyes glinting wickedly as his lips pinched together into a cheeky grin. Penelope let out a shout of laughter and shook her head, her hair falling into her eyes and, she hoped, covering the truth in her eyes.

"'I'll never tell' means - quote - I'll never tell - unquote," she said, regaining her poise just enough to run her hands through her hair and look at him with an expression of something that wasn't quite defiance and wasn't quite an admission, it was somewhere between the two. Gordon narrowed his eyes and took another swig of rum.

"But I'm Sherbet's favourite?" he asked. She nodded.

"Of course you are," she said. "Look at how he fussed over you when he found out that you were safe!"

"Been a while since anyone had their tongue that far down my throat!" he admitted with a chuckle. Penelope grinned.

"Bertie's a very good judge of character, I've often said so," she told him.

"Well he can certainly vouch for my kissing ability," Gordon said, quite obviously not pausing to think his sentence through in any way whatsoever. They looked at each other, not sure quite how to react, and after a brief pause they both burst out laughing.

"It comes to something when your last kiss was with a dog."

"Oh trust me, I've woken up next to far worse," Gordon said with a careless shrug. Penelope stared at him, frowning for a few moments. "What?"

"You know how most people have a filter for things they should say and things they probably shouldn't?" she asked. Gordon jutted his lower lip slightly as he shook his head. "Hmm. My point exactly," she muttered, the right side of her mouth curling up into a smirk.

"Okay, so I'm gonna work this out. I'm not even gonna try and compete with Scott, nobody's got that much testosterone. Do you like me more than you like Virgil?"

"More than Virgil?" Penelope asked, pretending to think about her answer. "Well you have to admit, Virgil has a lot of things going for him," she said, trying to suppress a chuckle. "He's tall-"

"Hey!" Gordon shouted in protest. Penelope laughed at his defensive expression and took a sip of rum.

"He's talented, he's devastatingly handsome, he's strong, he's brave, he's gentle, he has a very sexy voice," she continued.

"Okay fine, so Virgil's got me beat on... a lot of things," Gordon said, nodding his head slightly as he said the word 'lot'. "I'm tall on the inside though. Y'know, if I'd been built in proportion, I'd be at least six foot four," he told her.

"I know that, those uniforms leave absolutely nothing to the imagination," Penelope replied. No sooner had the words left her lips than she gasped in horror and covered her mouth with her hands, as if she was trying to take the words back and push them back in. Gordon raised his eyebrows and gave her a smug grin, deciding to save a discussion on her indiscreet declaration for a later time.

"Okay, so let's say Virgil is a pretty strong contender for your favourite. How about Alan?"

"Oh, Gordon, for pity's sake - I like Kayo more than I like Alan," Penelope said, dismissively. Gordon's eyes widened and a wolfish grin engulfed his face. Penelope instantly regretted her choice of words.

"Really?"

"No, I didn't mean-"

"No, really, don't be shy, Penny. Feel free to tell me all about this crush you have on Kayo," Gordon said, interested. He looked up and made eye contact with the nearest bartender and signalled for two more drinks. "You go into as much detail as you like!"

"Gordon, really," Penelope said, blushing a brighter shade of pink than FAB 1.

"I mean, does Kayo know about this?" Gordon asked. "Have you two ever, y'know..." he paused and waggled his eyebrows at her. Penelope took a deep breath and rolled her eyes.

"Gordon!" she said, wearily.

"Have you at least had a drunken kiss? Was there any boob-squishing? Pillow fights in lingerie? I mean I just wanna know what I'm up against, here."

"Gordon, I didn't mean I had a crush on Kayo!"

"Ah, so you like me better than Alan AND Kayo. Score!" he shouted, punching his fist in the air triumphantly.

"I didn't say I liked you better-"

"Oh yes you did. So, you like me better than Alan, better than Kayo... less than Virgil? Are we going with less than Virgil?" Gordon asked, counting out the names of all his 'rivals' on his fingers. "Hey, what about John? He's got that whole girly-manly thing going for him, he smells great and he's got more salt in him than the Dead Sea!"

Penelope downed her rum and made a start on the fresh glass that had appeared next to her.

"I'll never tell," she said, firmly. Gordon sat back for a moment and sipped his rum thoughtfully.

"I'll get it out of you in the end," he said. "I'm a pretty persistent guy, y'know."

"Aggravatingly so," Penelope agreed. Gordon smiled gently and gazed at her for a few moments. She caught his gaze and furrowed her brow slightly. "What?" Gordon shook his head.

"Hey, if you'll never tell, neither will I," he said with a wink. Penelope laughed.

"Oh, so that's how it is!"

"You're not the only one who can play hard to get, Your Ladyship!" he told her, raising his glass to his lips. Penelope looked at him sceptically.

"Have you ever actually played hard to get, Gordon?" she asked. He shrugged.

"What's the point when you know what you want?" he answered, simply.

Penelope wasn't sure what had just happened to all the air in the room but it certainly wasn't anywhere near her for a few moments until she regained her composure.

"Oh, I see. There's no foreplay with you, then," she said with a sly smile, tapping her fingernails on the rim of her glass. Gordon's expression suddenly became serious, his smile disappeared and his big, cinnamon brown eyes almost glowed with intensity as he gazed at her and gently placed his hand over hers.

"Are you kidding? I love foreplay," he said, his voice dropping a full octave as he leaned closer to her and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear with his free hand. "It's like champagne."

"Excuse me?" Penelope asked, sure that she'd never drink champagne in the same way ever again from now on.

"You don't chug champagne like you chug a beer. You can't enjoy it properly that way. No. You gotta savour it, hold it in your mouth a little, let the bubbles pop on your tongue, enjoy the way it makes your lips tingle. You take your time over it. You appreciate it. You don't need to rush it, it's right there in your hand, it's already yours, it's gonna stay right there until you're both done. You gotta treat it with respect and drink it at just...the right... pace," he said, his voice getting softer and huskier with every word, as he continued leaning into her. Penelope swallowed hard.

"I've... never thought of it like that before," she whispered. She clamped her lips together and ran the very tip of her tongue across them as she gazed back into Gordon's eyes. For a few moments she wasn't sure whether Gordon was going to shatter the moment with a dumb joke, or pull away from her and change the subject entirely.

Gordon did neither. Instead he leaned in even closer to her, reached out his hand, stroked her cheek gently with his thumb, and then pressed his fingertips gently against the soft part of her throat as he kissed her. His lips were soft and tasted of vanilla and treacle and whatever that magic ingredient was that made rum the most indulgent of all the spirits. With the smallest and sweetest murmurs of pleasure, the moment Penelope began to return the kiss, he sank himself deeply into it, as though the perfect way to kiss her had been the very thing he had dedicated his entire life to studying. Her head spun with the myriad emotions running through it, and she lost all sense of time, space and reason as he ran his hands through her hair, traced his fingertips firmly down her back and finally rested his hands on the small of her back. He pulled out of the kiss for the briefest of moments, looking from her lips to her eyes and back again before smirking slightly and kissing her again.

There were so many aspects of Gordon's personality that were fun, lighthearted, sometimes downright silly and immature - but this kiss was not any of those things. This kiss was one of the most beautiful, decadently grown-up things she had ever had the joy to experience. It was deliberate without being too forceful, tender without any self-consciousness, overwhelming but not overpowering, playful then deeply smouldering, as full of changes of intensity and emotion as the waves on the ocean itself. When he finally pulled away, Penelope was left breathless and panting, blinking repeatedly to try and ground herself back to earth from wherever it was that Gordon's kiss had just taken her. He was no longer the sweet boy she would never admit to liking, he was the man who had single-handedly saved the Supreme Barrier Reef and stolen her heart, devoting himself to each objective with the same level of care, devotion and tenacity.

He was more than her favourite Tracy. He was dangerously close to becoming her favourite of all creation.

"Will I ruin the moment if I tell you I like the way you make my lips tingle?" he whispered, his lips gently brushing against hers with every movement of his mouth.

"Maybe," she said, twisting strands of his hair around her fingers and pulling him closer to her.

"Then I'll shut up," he said, kissing her again.

THE END