Warning: Slash. RemusXSirius. Very bad, crude humour.
I do not own Harry Potter and never will (much to my disappointment)
Remus sat watching on his bed as a half naked Sirius Black bent over and rummaged around through his belongings for a clean shirt after his shower.
Remus shuddered slightly as he saw a drop of water trickle down Sirius' toned chest.
He had to bite his lip to stop himself from moaning.
Every morning was the same.
And quite frankly, it was pure torture for Remus.
He watched as Sirius pushed his wet bangs from his eyes and more droplets ran down his chest.
"You should just tidy up Padfoot." Remus said as he rolled his eyes and was met with a lopsided grin.
"Moi? The great Sirius Black tidy up?"
Remus rolled his eyes again and nodded his head. "Yes. You."
"And why should I, I the most noble and -"
Remus shook his head and stopped listening.
"- Oi! Moony! MOONY!"
Remus, shot up startled.
"You were staring again." Remus blushed as he realised that in fact, yes he had been staring at Sirius' chest, licking his lips.
"Sorry." He mumbled as Sirius let out his bark like laughter.
Sirius returned to try and find a shirt whilst Remus sat and watched his backside swaying in the air.
"Sirius, please, please just tidy up!" He just couldn't stand it anymore, pure torture every morning was not a good thing.
"Why?" Sirius whinged pitifully and Remus shook his head.
"Please Sirius! I'm sick of the mess around here!" Remus tried puppy dog eyes.
"Go get James to tidy up! It's half of his mess an all!"
Remus smiled to himself, he had no problem with a half naked James shifting through stuff. A half naked Sirius was a whole new level though.
Thinking quickly he said: "Well Sirius, as James' bed is opposite me, his mess doesn't creep into my 'personal space' whereas yours does!" Remus had drawn a magical line around his bed which set off an alarm whenever anyone or anything passed through it, except Remus and somehow: Sirius.
"So? Just disable that stupid line and then it won't be a problem!"
"That line isn't stupid!" Remus said, annoyed. Sirius came and sat down next to him, shaking his wet hair out of his shining eyes.
"And anyway Sirius, how the hell do you manage to get through it without setting offthe alarm?"
Sirius just smiled mysteriously and Remus fought the urge to jump on him.
Remus picked up a book and lent against his headboard, sighing.
"We'll be late to breakfast Remus!" Sirius pouted and Remus snorted.
"Well I hate to point out the obvious Mr-Oh-So-Wonderful but you're the one that has no shirt on!" Remus pointed to the naked chest whilst Sirius eyes glinted mischievously.
"Well, seeing as I can't find a clean shirt, I'll just have to borrow one!" Sirius jumped off the bed and started to knock over and mess up all of Remus' organized piles of clothes in his trunk.
"Sirius, you know full well they'll be to small for you!" Remus rolled his eyes, knowing perfectly well that Sirius wouldn't care.
"Er- Sirius? What you doing?" Sirius looked up from the shirt he had been smelling.
"They smell of you Remus!" He exclaimed excitedly as he pulled the black t-shirt over his head.
"I wonder why." Remus said sarcastically as Sirius' head reappeared.
"Come on then Moony. Let's go to breakfast. You've kept us waiting long enough!" Remus rolled his eyes muttering when a sudden idea struck him.
He pulled out his wand and pointed it to the door.
He locked with it one flick and nicked Sirius wand from the bedside table with another.
"We're not going anywhere until you tidy up!" Sirius simply looked at him as though he were mad and seized the door handle and tried to force it open.
"Moony…" Sirius started whinging again and Remus felt another headache coming on.
"Tidy. Now!" Sirius stuck out his bottom lick and tried the puppy dog eyes.
"Why?" His voice was high pitched and whiny.
"Because - because" - Remus hesitated and decided to tell him part of the truth. "Because I'm sick of watching you rummage around half naked for a shirt!"
"Why?" Sirius pouted again.
Because you look incredibly sexy. "Tidy up!" He said sternly and pointed his wand at Sirius threateningly.
"Why?" Sirius questioned again and Remus lost his patience.
"Because I said so." He snapped and Sirius reluctantly started throwing clothes into his trunk, grumbling.
"Properly!" Remus shouted desperately.
"I don't know how to do it though Moony!" Sirius said slyly.
Remus sighed, knowing full well what Sirius was playing at. "No. Whenever I try to show you, I end up tidying up. So. No!"
Sirius threw him a dark look and screwed up another shirt.
Remus forced himself to look away and went back to his book.
(-break-)
"Remus…" Remus jumped out of his skin as Sirius whispered hotly in his ear, running a hand up his leg.
"S - Sirius. Aren't you tidying up?" Remus asked sternly, trying to steady himself.
"Was I? I thought we were having some fun…" Sirius lips brushed lightly against Remus ear.
Sirius' hand slipped further up and the blood rushed from Remus' face.
Sirius lips brushed against his neck again and soft, hot kisses were placed all around his collar bone.
Sirius started to straddle him, pushing his lips against Remus'.
"Sirius…" Remus moaned.
A sudden sharp pain in his side and his eyes shot open.
He sat up groggily and noticed the grinning Sirius sat besides him.
"Sorry… must have dropped off." He mumbled praying that Sirius had not heard him moan.
"It's okay! Well, I've tidied up!" He stood up flourishing his arms.
Remus' jaw dropped open and a sudden suspicion clicked in his mind.
"You didn't by any chance use magic did you?" Sirius simply beamed at him before dragging him down to the Great Hall for lunch.
He was sat eating his soup, staring into it's depths, his mind stuck in his dream when a sharp kick brought him back to his senses.
"Interesting dream was it?" Sirius asked cheekily as Remus gulped and Peter and James stared at him.
"Might have been." He shrugged.
"It was. You were moaning." Sirius said smugly and Remus' heart plummeted.
"W -was I?" He asked, his throat sticking. Sirius simply nodded and James suddenly smirked.
"Who's the lucky girl then Moony?"
Remus opened his mouth to reply, but Sirius beat him to it.
"Oh no James, it wasn't a girl." Sirius smirked at Remus who's eyes had widened.
"W -what?" James spluttered and Sirius smirked again.
"Oh nothing James." Sirius smiled sweetly as James shrugged and launched himself into a long winded Quidditch talk.
Remus looked across to Sirius.
Sirius grinned at him.
(-break-)
He managed to make it through to the evening without any mention of the dream.
That's when it all went wrong.
"So Remus, who was this dream about?" James asked as Peter scurried up to bed.
Sirius was watching him closely, a lazy smirk playing upon his lips.
"Oh no-one you know." He tried to read again but his mind was fuzzing.
"Oh don't lie Remus. James does know this person." Sirius laid back against Remus, resting his head on Remus shoulder.
Remus whacked him with the book.
"Ow!" Sirius sat up, rubbing his head. "What was that for?" Remus pointedly ignored him.
"I know your dirty little secret." Sirius whispered in his ear and Remus jumped half a mile.
Remus turned to look at Sirius, only to find him sprawled out on the floor, the too tight t-shirt lay discarded next to him.
"So Remus, you even gay?" Remus turned to look at James.
He shook his head.
"Don't lie Moony! I heard you moaning the name!" Remus snapped his book shut and stood up.
"I don't care." He said shortly before storming up to bed.
(-break-)
He sighed and rolled over.
"AHHH!" He screamed and scrambled backwards, only to find a hand clamped over his mouth.
"Shh! You'll wake the others." A pair of lips brushed against his ear.
"Sirius?" He asked nervously as the other boy started to nibble on his ear.
"Yes." The word was whispered hotly in his ear and he shivered.
Soft lips brushed against his neck and an arm snaked around his waist.
"S- Sirius what are y -you d -doing?" He asked softly, moaning slightly as Sirius nipped his neck.
"Nothing Moony." He whispered innocently and moved his lips to kiss Remus jaw line.
"Sirius - Sirius - Sirius!" Moony tried to push him away and he saw Sirius eyes sparkle.
"What Moony? This is what you were dreaming about after all." Remus licked his lips nervously.
Sirius' hand slipped up his t-shirt and Remus found his arms around the black haired boy's waist, pulling him closer.
Remus nuzzled Sirius neck.
Sirius pulled away slightly and Remus saw a delicate tongue flick out and wet his lips.
A pair of soft lips suddenly crashed into his own and a small moan was tempted from his mouth.
Then as suddenly as it had came, the lips had gone and so had Sirius.
Shaking slightly, Remus slumped into his pillows, his mind reeling.
(-break-)
That morning when he awoke, he was greeted by an incredibly messy view.
He sat up, rubbing his eyes.
"Sirius?" He asked the room at large.
"Moony! You're awake!" Sirius walked through the bathroom door, only a towel around his waist.
Remus looked him up and down.
"Sirius? You only tidied up yesterday! Why's your bed such a mess?" He scolded slightly.
Sirius simply laughed his bark like laugh and pulled out his wand.
He waved it a few times, muttering incantations.
Everything was instantly tidy.
Sirius sat down next to Remus.
He caught Moony's eye.
Keeping eye contact, he advanced on hands and knees towards him.
Remus backed up until he hit the headboard.
"What you running from Moony?" he whispered, his lips centimetres from Remus' face.
"N - nothing." Remus stuttered.
Gazing at Sirius lips he licked his own.
A sudden pressure on his mouth, and a sudden hand on his face.
Sirius pulled away breathing hard.
"The things tidying leads to." He whispered before kissing Remus again.
Remus kissed him back eagerly.
They broke apart again.
"The things tidying leads to." He agreed.
Cute. My favourite ship!!!!
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