Spaghetti Dreams

I dedicate this story to my friend "Orange Peel", who
made a comment during an IM conversation we had tonight
that lead to my writing this crazy story.

It was a cool October evening in Crabapple Cove, Maine and Hawkeye Pierce was taking advantage of having this night to himself without having to be on call at the hospital by cozying up in front of a warm fire. This was his favorite way to relax when he was off, letting the warmth of the fire relax him as it absorbed the chill in the air into itself, glowing brightly.

"Do you want any more spaghetti before I put it away?" Margaret Pierce called from the kitchen.

"Sure. That was great. I wouldn't mind having a little more." Hawkeye smiled as Margaret came in from the kitchen carrying a small bowl of spaghetti and a glass of milk for him. He opened his arms to her as she slid into his arms on the sofa.

As Hawkeye finished his bowl of spaghetti and downed the last of his milk, he settled in next to Margaret and let her scratch his back lightly. After a few minutes, having his wife scratching his back combined with the warmth of the fire made Hawkeye increasingly drowsy and his eyes closed as he sighed contendly and drifted off to sleep in Margaret's lap.

In the darkness of his subconscious, Hawkeye found himself in a very strange room that was mostly in tones of black and maroon except for a window in front of him that had lilacs printed on it. What Hawkeye found strange was he was looking at a cooky conversation between to people who seemed to have a thing for talking about farting. Hawkeye began thinking out loud to himself to figure out what strange situation he had managed to get himself into when, to his surprise, everything he said appeared on the lilac printed window he was staring at.

Hawkeye Pierce Korea SUCKS says:
What's the deal with all this farting talk? Where the hell am I anyway?

I Want A Sexy Camaro Driver says:
I dunno

Hawkeye Pierce Korea SUCKS says:
Who the hell are you?

I Want A Sexy Camaro Driver says:
sends man toy to shower

Hawkeye Pierce Korea SUCKS says:
What's a man toy? Where's Margaret?

I Want A Sexy Camaro Driver says:
who?

Hawkeye Pierce Korea SUCKS says:
My wife? Who the hell are you?

I Want A Sexy Camaro Driver says:
Janus the Wraith

Hawkeye Pierce Korea SUCKS says:
What? What planet are you from? I swear if this is a practical joke, Trapper and Beej are so freakin dead!

I Want A Sexy Camaro Driver says:
Atlanta

Hawkeye Pierce Korea SUCKS says:
Georgia? You're a loon. They're gonna send the padded wagon after you. Where the hell is Sidney when you need him? This is the last time I eat left over spaghetti right before I go to sleep.

I Want A Sexy Camaro Driver says:
no, it's the unicorn galaxy

I Want A Sexy Camaro Driver says:
'in the

I Want A Sexy Camaro Driver says:
dont blame the pasta

Hawkeye Pierce Korea SUCKS says:
What kind of nuthouse did I land in? I thought the wackaterium I was stuck in at the end of the war was bad. You make that seem like a day at the beach.

I Want A Sexy Camaro Driver says:
what war was that? we're currently in a war with some humans that moved into an ancient city

Hawkeye Pierce Korea SUCKS says:
What the hell are you talking about!

I Want A Sexy Camaro Driver says:
'shrugs'

Hawkeye Pierce Korea SUCKS says:
Good grief. I need to find a way to wake myself up. This dream is too strange.

Hawkeye squeezed his eyes closed and tried desperately to hurl himself back to consciousness.

Margaret was snapped out of her thoughts when she felt Hawkeye stirring slightly in her lap. He opened his eyes and sat up groggily, looking at her with a confusion in his eyes that was frightening.

"Honey, what's the matter?"

"I just had the strangest dream. It didn't make any sense." Hawkeye said, looking around the room to reorient himself.

"What was it about?" Margaret asked.

"You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you. I'll say one thing though. That is the absolute last time I ever have a second helping of spaghetti before I fall asleep."